I'm been doing some thinking about this and I've decided that T_Smith has put in some good work over at the Random Thread thread. Accordingly, I've decided to compile a "best-of" of his random posts. (I did leave out alot of the fortune cookie stuff which, while having its own merit, does not necessarily belong here.)
...
Say that the cheese is flying at midnight for all I care.
If you cut a carrot in half lengthwise, soak it in water, and microwave the two halves close together for 3 minutes it will catch fire. Apparently.
3d shouldn’t be represented by a cube!! It should be represented by a sphere!!!
The cheese stands alone.
I need money. Send money to me.
Spin a bottle, maybe someone will kiss you. Then again, maybe someone will smash that bottle and cut you to pieces.
Yo soy el bandito del baño!
Is you is or is you ain't my constituents?
Tom Green diddily doo!!!
Spam is the greatest invention for space exploration.
Fortune cookie for the day: If you look behind a stone, you will find another. Lucky numbers: 2, 5, 64, 23, 6
Canned meat juice. You could make a fortune selling that. The people who buy bottled water would probably buy that.
cant sleep, clowns will eat me and turn me into crap, cant sleep clowns will eat me and turn me......
I find it silly that Jesus preached of peace and loving your enemy and such and then people spend the next 2000 years killing each other over the interpretation of what he said.
Peach cobbler is surprisingly delicious.
The monkey wont give me the keys!
Levi! I am Aragorn son of Arathorn the pant maker and am called Elessar, the seamstriss, Dunadan, heir of the pant maker. Here are the pants that were torn and seamed again! Will you give me more thread or rip my pants? Choose swiftly.
Gilligan was a stupid idiot. If they had just eaten him, they would have gotten off the island by the end of the first season.
Morals are a dying thought.
Im the chicken that crossed the road. I am neither friend nor enemy but a teacher. Worship me.
Gattaca is an awesome movie. You should go see it.
*pokes thread*
Ok... who bumped this then deleted it!?! What, has someone been reading through all my threads? Gathering information? Its not a good idea to give a paranoid person something more to be paranoid about...
You know, I always knew Dan_Raven was a comic genius, but it wasn't until I went back and read this thread again that I realized his true humor was far greater than I realized.
You know, I've always wanted to condition a dog to learn how to push elevator buttons for every day of his life, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and then condition that dog to teach other dogs how to push those elevator buttons, and also to teach them how to teach other dogs to push those elevator buttons...
Think about it... dogs could evolve to become Bell Boys.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Sublime!
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
:contemplates stalking Dan_raven:
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Well there's an unintended side-effect if I ever saw one.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Thanks, T.
[ December 04, 2003, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: MaydayDesiax ]
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
The planet Venus is alive.
Ni!
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
If T would put these together into a book, it would make a great Christmas present.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
When we find a publisher, can I desgin the book cover for these? I think red suede would be appropriate.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I think maybe brown would be more appropriate.
With orange trim.
And little bumps on the front cover.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Venus is a plant.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Back up people. You can have your minions, and your followers. I have my very own Pooka stalker.
cool. All the creepy goodness of a full fledged minion, with less up keep.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
quote: Spin a bottle, maybe someone will kiss you. Then again, maybe someone will smash that bottle and cut you to pieces.
It took a great deal of thought and wisdom for that one.
However, my favorite one was a fortune cookie that I did, that I can't remember but was close to something like:
"Theres stuff out on your horizons, but don't be too disappointed to find that it's only more dust."
Thanks, Jehovoid. This makes me very happy.
Posted by Trisha the Severe Hottie (Member # 6000) on :
Darn. I need to learn to photoshop so I can put T's head over Alvin's on the cover of Crystal City. Although it might work better for me if it were a volume from before he married Peggy.
[ December 04, 2003, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Trisha the Severe Hottie ]
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote: The cheese stands alone.
This is a name of a book I read once... is it still wisdom if it's not original? *innocent blinking*
I mean, not that T_Smith isn't wise or anything. Just...not...original... Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:All the creepy goodness of a full fledged minion, with less up keep.
Good point! I might be able to handle a stalker, as long as I didn't know about it.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
You're already doing so.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Trisha, I think we should keep it to the forums for now. I mean, anyone could just pop into Parachat and ruin our fun.
Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
yeah, not like here where no one will bother you.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
jehovoid, please don't encourage T.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
quote: A wise man once said, It is easier to can the Spam than to spam the Can.
Shortly after saying that we took the "wise" title away from him.
Dan raven The same Random thread as T's quotes
We took the title away from one un-wise wiseman. we can do it again.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
to all of you, that's hysterical!
Posted by jebus303 (Member # 2980) on :
You so cuhrazy T.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
He didn't say it but...
quote:Curse you and your betighted booblets, too!
You have to admit it's funny. Seriously, just say it out loud, with emotion...
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)