1. Problems with Nathan's expensive private school. I.e., uncommunicative and unhelpful and uncaring regarding health and safety AND learning needs AND adequately supporting the teaching staff, especially in large classrooms with lots of special needs students.
2. Uncooperative snotty people at church that don't get out of the way when I am trying to set up and run the sound system. Grrrrrrrr.
3. Understaffed and overworked and frustrated by the absolutely overwhelming amount of projects, must-do's, due today, due yesterday, due last month, due tomorrow . . . .
4. My lungs are still unhappy from pneumonia. I am tired and cranky. I gt breathless easily, even with the albuterol and Flovent.
5. The smelly, noisy raccoons are STILL in my attic.
6. I am gaining weight. I HATE this season for exactly that reason.
7. I want a cigarette so bad I can taste it. And it's not like I smoked a lot - a morning cigarette with my cup of coffee and evening cigarette with glass of wine or beer. Occasionally, another cigarette to prevent incipient child abuse. I HATE craving ANYTHING.
I could continue - but I'll stop and count my blessings publicly one by one now:
1. My car has been nicely repaired, tuned, detailed, etc. It looks and smells like a new car. Yippee!
2. Nathan and I survived the flu.
3. Something WILL be done about the raccoons this week-end.
4. Nathan's teacher DID write a nice, reassuring note addressing one of my concerns. (Now, if I would just hear back from the BOD, Parent Council and administrator . . . it's only been a month . . . )
5. I have a roof over my head, plenty of warm clothes, plenty of food, a job with benefits, a car that runs.
6. I have not smoked a cigarette since Noveember 14.
7. The cat loves me. Posted by Damien (Member # 5611) on :
*pat pat* It makes ALL the difference when you count your blessings right after counting....everything else. Glad things are rarely as bad as they seem. (((((Shan)))))
DXM
EDIT: wording
[ December 10, 2003, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: Damien ]
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
(((((Shan)))))
::offers gum::
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Sometimes a good scream is a necessity to maintain mental health.
(((((Shan)))))
Keep counting your blessings. Hey, you forgot Hatrack! Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh My Gosh!!!!!!!
Blessing 8. HATRACK.
Phew - thanks for the reminder . . .
Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
Aw, Shan. Congratulations for quitting cigarettes! The average smoker tries to quit 5 times before they actually succeed. Stick with it! You'll be less likely to come down with colds and your body will thank you for it! Let me know if there's anything I can do...
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Shan, you're a sweetheart!! Scream all you want to!
(((Shan)))
Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
:: Hugs Shan ::
you were in seattle, right? I'll be getting in around the 18th...want some coffee and a live ear to rant to? I'm sure I could arrange something...borrow mother's car... Satyagraha
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
By the way, I've heard that the amount of weight gain people get on the holidays is usually way overestimated. It's usually only about 5.
And if you want to scream, that's what telemarketers are for. At least, that's how things work in my house.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Shan, I know just how you feel. Hang in there.
When I used to feel like screaming, I would light up a delicious cigarette. Then I stopped smoking. Then I stopped biting my nails.
Now I just buy shoes. That always makes me feel better. You probably need new shoes. I always do.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
You know, I think that being addicted to anything is pretty much the definition of hell. Feeling a compulsion like that...it's like a chemical form of slavery. Glad that you're resisting--it's been almost a month!
How are you doing these days, from your accident? I guess you could add the fact that no one has run you over lately to your list of positives .
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Might have something to do with the
quote:grey, drizzly pacific northwest
where you say you live.
I have a cousin up that way (Seattle) who gets lots of depression/stress when the winter season sets in. Try and find a much sunlight as you can!! Bask in those rays!
Farmgirl
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
((Shan))
AJ
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
(((Shan)))
Dang, yeah. Scream all you want. *pat pat* Rough day.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
(((Shan))) Hang in there, it'll get better.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Damien: Thanks for the pats! MayDay: Ah! Gum - phew. I have chewed an entire pack up already this week. rivka: thank you for the reminder! JNSB: I'll get a hold of you for a hike as soon as I can breathe adequately again! Narnia: thanks for the hug - I really am NOT sweet right now, but I will hold that vision in my head as something to aspire to! BYuCsnlr: Coffee would be great - I'm actually in Olympia . . . or maybe some soothing herbal tea . . . do you hike? Maybe JNSB, you, me and others cold get together for a stroll in the drizzle? Book: 5 pounds are okay? Phew. How about 8? I had two peices of cheesecake yesterday . . . Mrs. M: You are absolutely correct! I WILL buy a new pair of shoes this weekend - I bought a book today! Noemon: I DO hope you knocked on wood????? Farmgirl: Sun? What's that? (((Banana))) back katharina: Shan lets out a good holler after earplugs are safely inserted saxon75: you're right! it will get better - it always does!
Thanks, all . . . saw the doctor today. Yes, my lungs are unhappy from the pnuemonia, and they are reacting to cleaning out the effects of not smoking, AND my muscles are so tied in knots (leftover effects from Grammy)that he doesn't think I could breathe deeply if I wanted to. Therefore, his Rx: continue physical therapy, try an anti-depressant for a few weeks and take ativan. He'd like me to relax a little. Hmmm.
Posted by BYuCnslr (Member # 1857) on :
well, my mother is in Renton, so Seattle and Olympia are equidistant. I would love a hike, though I'll have to see when I'll be around, let me figure out post-finals. Satyagraha
Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
quote:Maybe JNSB, you, me and others cold get together for a stroll in the drizzle?
Freudian slip? It prolly will be fairly cold for a hike! Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Shan, I hate to tell you, but here's another reason to scream. You've been quoted in the Out of Context thread . (Not by me)
quote: From Shan, in "May I Scream? (screams) Thank You."
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm going to dump. I'll attempt to be brief.
Among other things that could be said... 1. I prefer to DE-brief before I dump, but whatever suits you... 2. Thanks for sharing... 3. Forgo injury; don't be too brief... 4. Follow-up please. Did you succeed in your attempt?
Still, hang in there. At least Nathan's teacher is reaching out to you. Unfortunately, school matters usually take about a month to process by anyone higher up than your teacher and principal. That's because they only meet once a month.
I've been pretty crazy stressed out lately too, but I think it's a symptom of this time of year. And darkness doesn't help any.
(Shan) Does this help?
(edit to add disclaimer)
[ December 12, 2003, 05:13 AM: Message edited by: Jenny Gardener ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
You smoked so little, I really doubt you have much of a chemical dependency to get over. Especially after a month away from the 100mm sticks of death.
More likely they were an emotional crutch that became part of your daily routine. A stress reliever, perhaps.
The great thing about cigarettes is that they almost force you to take a break. And nobody blames you for taking a break to smoke. Whereas if you were to just sit for 5 minutes without a cigarette, you might think everyone was concluding that you are lazy.
Maybe what you need is to simply allow yourself the same number of minutes once or twice a day. Time to mental gear up, or down...Time to decide not to kill your offspring. That sort of thing.
Good luck. I quit smoking back in July. So far the only thing I miss is the comeraderie of my fellow smokers.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Gosh, Bob - I would like to believe that, however, getting to 2-3 per day took several months of assiduous work and dedication (and occasionally back to much more, i.e., like visiting family.) I was a two-pack per day Camels prior to pregnancy - yuck, hmmm? I didn't pick up my first cigarette until two days after my smokestack parents abruptly quit when I was 16 - I had never smelled anything so wondrous as what I smelled that day coming out of the girls restroom . . . I absolutely agree with your summation about breaks - I am trying to take 5-minute breaks 2-3 times to knit a scarf . . . I am not thinking that relaxes me - hmmm - maybe I'll try something else. Thanks for paving the way! I am glad to hear of your success. Keep that shining example glowing!
My word, Jenny! What a way to be taken out of context! I know schools can be slow - thanks for the reminder that the wheels just grind slowly! And the kiss!
Absolutely a Freudian slip, Jonny! And it is cold! And wet! And humid! And muddy! I am going to buy a grow light!
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
. (Not by me)![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
Does this help?