Hatrack River Forum: New column: Keeping traditions: the cruel Yule

This is topic New column: Keeping traditions: the cruel Yule in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=020280

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Keeping traditions: the cruel Yule
This holiday buying cycle promises to be a time of prosperity as the rising economic index indicates a surge in domestic purchasing habits and a return to traditional fiscal responsibility, with same-store sales growth tracking nearly 7% over last year's... are the kids gone yet?

Good. Let's talk about Christmas presents.

Every year around this time (defined in the Gregorian Calendar as "right after Labor Day") we are reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. Songs and cards and cartoons strive to instill in us the glory of the season, the joy of giving, and the miracle of the approved religious ceremony of your choice. But none of them really touch upon the very best part of this jubilant holiday: messing with your kids' minds.

Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :

Once again Chris has brought us a great article. You are tuely one twisted individual, and I love it! It brings back memories of opening pink nightgowns and hearing my mother say "Opps, that one is you sisters. Maybe I should label these next year." Having young kids of my own I have to agree, Christmas is the time for torture. [Smile]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

quote:
Larger items, like a car, might get taken apart and wrapped up in 1,117 different little boxes and bags, with the last one containing a wrench set and the keys.

Please tell me no one ever received a pony from this woman [Eek!]

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

quote:
Christmas just isn't Christmas if you can't drive a loved one insane.

True, so true.

You are a genius, an evil genius, but a genius.

I hope your not doing the Hatrack Holiday Gift Exchange. I don't want 3, 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles, arriving in 115 different packages, each package containing a mixture of the 3 puzzles, and discovering later that you kept 2 pieces from each puzzle for next years gift.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

I have the vision of your son, tied to the bed with dental floss and surrounded by stormtroopers, stuck indelibly in my head. That was hilarious!

Have a wonderful Christmas.

You're the kind of person who would send Jesus a cross for Christmas!!!

[Eek!]

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

I dunno, a cross would be kind of cold.

I'd send him a Santa hat, though...

Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :

Well, after reading a few of your articles and deliberating back and forth in the confines of my mind, I've decided that you're my favorite article writer. I'm sure you care.

Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :

i'm a big fan of the small gift in the big box tactic. especially when you can take some rubber bands and suspend the small item in the middle of the large box. go ahead and shake it!

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Even better - put something unbreakable in a box, like a check or something durable, and then toss in some broken glass. Lots of fun when someone shakes it the first time...

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Or one of those firecrackers with strings on either end. Tie one end to the top of the box, and the other end to a fishing weight. Shake it just the right way...

Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :

quote:
By December 24th she was twitching, reduced to wild guesses about mutant snow globe/hourglass devices.

i was a little late in reading it this week, but oh boy.

[ROFL]