Hatrack River Forum: A Different Way of Looking at That Stupid Cat.

This is topic A Different Way of Looking at That Stupid Cat. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :

If you ever wondered.

That cat that roams your house really isn't there for your best interest.

Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :

Like I've always said, having more than one cat around is asking for trouble. They form communities and pretty much poo-poo all humans. Although usually they don't try to eat you.

I do like cats, though.

Posted by asQmh (Member # 4590) on :

Cats are just autistic dogs.

Q.

Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :

As if.

Dogs are retarded cats.

Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :

Why don't cats fetch, or do other useful things, then? Seems to me that they must be the retarded ones if they can't follow simple directions.

[Smile]

Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :

If somebody throws a stick and yells "Fetch," the cat's thinking, "YOU threw it. YOU fetch it."

Cats are smart enough to know who's boss, but they don't lord it over you too much unless they're hungry.

[Smile]

Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :

My cats have been known to play fetch....

Posted by screechowl (Member # 2651) on :

Humans would never do sink so low as to eat their pets! Each other, maybe; but not their pets. [Razz]

We have a cat that used to fetch, but it had been raised by dogs. This cat quit fetching when our other cat took it aside and explained the facts of life to it.

Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :

Hey, look at the bright side: even if they do eventually eat you, they'll eat that dumb mutt first. Every dog that dies by a cat's paw brings us closer and closer to a utopian life.

Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :

I must be lacking a sense of humor today.

[Frown]

Or maybe I just miss my cat.

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

My sister's cat used to play fetch, but then he got older and smarter.

Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :

...and fatter and lazier, probably.

I was hoping this was a thread about Schrodinger's Cat. [Frown]

Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :

My cats will play fetch, not all the time, just when they want to play. They can also open doors by themselves, but not when I tell them too.

Posted by Maccabeus (Member # 3051) on :

Dogs won't bat a silly fake mouse around for hours. [Razz]

They need a whole deer.

Posted by BYSOAL (Member # 3846) on :

Now that I think about it, I should probably warn you the parable gets slightly graphic at the end...

quote:
"Let me tell you the most beautiful story I know.
A man was given a dog, which he loved very much.
The dog went with him everywhere,
but the man could not teach it to do anything useful.
The dog would not fetch or point,
it would not race or protect or stand watch.
Instead the dog sat near him and regarded him,
always with the same inscrutable expression.
'That's not a dog, that's a wolf,' said the man's wife.
'He alone is faithful to me,' said the man,
and his wife never discussed it with him again.
One day the man took the dog with him into his private airplane
and as they flew high over winter mountains,
the engines failed
and the airplane was torn to shreds among the trees.
The man lay bleeding,
his belly torn open by blades of sheared metal,
but all he could think of was his faithful dog.
Was he alive? Was he hurt?
Imagine his relief when the dog came padding up
and regarded him with that same steady gaze.
After an hour the dog nosed the man's bleeding abdomen,
then began pulling out intestines and spleen and liver
and gnawing on them,
all the while studying the man's face.
'Thank God,' said the man.
'At least one of us will not starve.'"

B.Y.S.O.A.L.

[ December 20, 2003, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: BYSOAL ]

Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :

This is pretty common, cats will begin to regard a human as food as soon as they die or become incapacitated. Dogs usually will only do so if they're starving. I'm impressed the cats looked emaciated, I would have expected them to begin chowing down right away. Maybe because she was still alive.

My husband cannot stand cats, hates the creatures. He tolerates my cat for my sake, and because as all things go, she is a good cat.

He said if I went to as many emergency calls as he did to houses where people have been dead a few days and happened to own cats - I'd feel differently.

Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :

So, cats are basically not much different than humans. Because I hate to tell you, but if I were trapped in a room and couldn't get out and all I had to eat was one of you people, um, don't fall asleep is all I'm sayin'. [Evil]

Posted by Lissande (Member # 350) on :

*shudder* That episode is quite possibly the single most disturbing for me in all of OSC's work. And I've read Maps in the Mirror. [Smile]

The other two biggies are the sweet sisters and the dogs in "In the Doghouse." Just so you all know. [Smile]