quote:

---

Ladies, if a guy asks you what is wrong, and you DO know what is wrong and don't tell him because you think telling him will give him more things to worry about -- you are only making him think it is something HE did, and will make him worry all the more

---

I think there's a fundamental flaw in your premise here... We're not trying to be considerate. We just know you can't stand it when the following occurs:

**

M: What's wrong?

F: (sulkily) nothing.

M: No, really, what's the matter?

F: (sullenly) I told you, nothing! I'm fine.

**

And when it is your fault, well then, the annoying behaviour is justified!



(Oh, and Tony, if you're reading this... I never do this. Never. Just some unscrupulous friends of mine. Yeh, that's it.)

[ February 12, 2004, 03:38 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*watches imogen 'work'*
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Ah, but the above was stated in a Clause - I stated if that was the reason you were with holding information. That advice was given for that given situation only. For other situations, other methods would apply.
 

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Posted by Slash the Berzerker (Member # 556) on :
 
The Slash method:

M: What's wrong?

W: (sulkily) Nothing.

M: Ok. (Turns to football on the TV)
 

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Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
 
Okay, all, I call first crack at Slash's wife after the divorce.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Although the results may vary in different situations (and also taking into consideration how well you know the person), often times we would (or at least SHOULD)add a 'You sure?' following the first denial before letting it be. The reaction given to the 'you sure?' can often go a great deal to clarifying to us whether there is in fact something wrong or not.

Proceedings after a second denial are GREATLY determined by the way the denial is given, whether sounding nonchalant, annoyed, sad, confused, etc.

[ February 12, 2004, 03:56 AM: Message edited by: Taalcon ]
 

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Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 

quote:

---

*watches imogen 'work'*

---

That was done before I started, while I was still talking to you!

Hmmph.

Of course, now you've caught me... But hatrack is (slightly) less distracting than scrabble: means I can read my articles for 5 minutes, check, read again, check...

I wonder if this has something to do with my lowered productivity recently?
 

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Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
Q: Why do men stare at my breasts instead of my face when I am trying to hold a conversation?
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*looks at timestamp*

Suuure it was.
 

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Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 
As far as I can tell, the type of men who do this honestly believe that breasts talk.

I'm not sure whether this is because of some very odd nursing habits, or whether the fact that the same men all seem to have 10 or less brain cells is more than a coincidence.

Of course, no *hatrack* man would ever do this...


 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

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As far as I can tell, the type of men who do this honestly believe that breasts talk.

---

 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Because, quite frankly, for the most part we're weak willed.

However, this is a pretty good sign of the guy's intentions.

If a girl is attractive, it's almost a given most men will give at least a precursory 'look over'. Hell, even if she's not, he'll want to double check to make sure he's not mistaken. If his intentions are decent, and he's strong willed, he'll quickly find your eyes and stay there. Or look at his shoes, if he's particularly shy.

Generally the people who stare at the breasts during conversations with women - and do so blatantly, knowing others notice this - are a bit full of themselves, and think they can get away with it by assuming that the girl is attracted to him, and will thereby WELCOME the attention.

Although if you ARE wearing a low-cut shirt with ample cleavage - even the strong-willed will find it hard not to glance a peek every now and then.

Keep that in mind.

[ February 12, 2004, 04:16 AM: Message edited by: Taalcon ]
 

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Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
 
Women have breasts!!!???!!!
 

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Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
 
I don't like it when women where shirts that show most of their breasts and then ask them not to stare. That strikes me as hypocritical. Taalcon does have a point. If my girlfriend wears something of that sort, (rarely does ) she teases me when I'm caught "glancing".
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Why does my hubby get tongue-tied when I ask him to talk to me in intimate moments? I've already blatantly told him that this gets my motor running, but it's still very hard for him. It's like Kisses On = Mind Off.

I think maybe it just takes me longer to shift from Daily Life to Mental Stimulation to Intimate Moment.

With him, it's Mention a Possibility and he's already skipped to Intimate Moment. Is this typical?
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
You know how on subways, even though every set of connected cars has a main conducter, and a main engine making sure things are running smoothly - each also has an emergency switch that anyone can get to without access to the main cabin, and if that switch is pulled, the WHOLE DANG SUBWAY screetches to a halt because of that switch?

I think you get where I'm going with this. And I think it's something you already know.

But...

This is especially true if a guy's had a hard or exhausting day, and hasn't had time to rest. If a guy comes home, tired - often times mental stimulation is the LAST thing he's looking for. He wants to relax. He doesn't want to think.

He wants to watch TV, eat, or skip to the Fun Stuff.

The recharge-time for men from the point-of-exaustion to feeling Ready To Talk varies from person to person, but often times the chance of having intimate + mental stimulation simulatenously will be directly proportionate to the time he was allowed to mentally recharge.

Otherwise, it's like going from full speed, to crashing to a halt. There ain't no slowdown time. It's one or the other.

But as always, all cases will vary.

[ February 12, 2004, 06:17 AM: Message edited by: Taalcon ]
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Actually, that was quite helpful! Thanks!
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Jenny, once a man is in that Intimate Moment, it's hard to think coherently sometimes. Take it as a compliment that you leave him speechless at those times.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Great young male wise one,

Why is it that young males so often feel that the only emotion that is proper to be shown outwardly is anger?

In in so doing, they express all emotions they feel (sadness, frustration, emotional hurt, or pain) as anger.

Is there a way to teach a young male that it is okay to express above said emotions through words and not anger? And that doing so does not make one a wimp?

Farmgirl
parent of young males
 

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Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
 
You know, a friend of mine once said, "Breasts are to a man's eyes what porch lights are to moths." You can't help but be attracted to them, you don't know why, and if you get too close you're gonna get fried
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Farmgirl:"Is there a way to teach a young male that it is okay to express above said emotions through words and not anger? And that doing so does not make one a wimp?"

I know I have heard this before, that men don't express emotions because they thing it's a wimpy thing to do. Any that might be true for some men, sometimes. But for me, there's an entirely different reason why I tend not to express most emotions.

I (and I think a lot of men) deal best with emotions internally. Talking about them with other people, even people with whom I am very close, doesn't help. I work through emotional issues on my own, internally. Then, when the issue is resolved, it is gone.

Women, on the other hand, seem to tend to deal best with emotions externally, through talking about them or otherwise giving them an external outlet. While this is a generalization and therefore not universally accurate, I think it is a pretty good generalization.

Anger can be an exception to the rule that men deal with emotions internally, because it has such a strong physical component. Anger seems to carry with it a significant chemical component; I don't know exactly which hormones are involved, but they are some that men have in great supply. When we feel anger, our bodies react in ways that seem to demand action.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Valentine014:"Q: Why do men stare at my breasts instead of my face when I am trying to hold a conversation?"

I can't speak for all other men, but in my case I often assume (irrationally) that I can look in such a sly manner that the woman won't notice I'm looking. Upon later rational review, I realize that this assumption is silly, but in the moment, the compulsion to do so is so insistent that I can convince myself of all kinds of silliness.

Also, I have learned that I often listen better (i.e. process the things I am hearing better) when I am not actually looking into the face of the person that is speaking to me. This caused some problems early in my marriage, when my wife assumed my attention was wandering. She now knows that I can listen very well when I'm not looking at her, and I know that I should look at her anyway, because she likes it. The point is that a guy might be looking away from your face because he listens/focuses better that way, and his eyes are just being drawn (consciously or not) to the other thing in the room that is the most interesting.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 

quote:

---

I (and I think a lot of men) deal best with emotions internally. Talking about them with other people, even people with whom I am very close, doesn't help. I work through emotional issues on my own, internally. Then, when the issue is resolved, it is gone

---

quote:

---

"Between the two of us, we have the perfect brain."

---

quote:

---

"Between the two of us, we have the perfect brain." some sort of uber-geek pickup line? Because it came out of nowhere, I couldn't think of a thing to say, and he avoided me for the rest of the semester.

---

Well, I know that I have said something similar at one point, so maybe I can take a shot at this.

Oddly enough, I am also a 22YOM .

For me I was saying that me and the girl complimented eachother in several ways. Whereas I was very book smart and knew tons of useless trivia, but did several bonehead things a day; she was not very book smart but socially and commen sense wise far surpassed me.

Not sure what your guy meant, but it could have been something of this nature .
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Okay, that makes sense.

---

Considering how incredibly clueless everyone involved was, though, I'm afraid I disagree with his assessment.

[ February 12, 2004, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 
Why does he say he'll call "this weekend" and then not call 'till Tuesday?

Could be a few things depending on the guy. He could be playing a mind game (thinking that if he called you before then you would lose some interest). He could have wanted to call but was too shy until he built up courage over the weekend, (I've done this on a few occasions). Or he could have had a lot going on and either didn't have time or forgot.

The best thing to do I think would be to call him on it. If he tries to BS you, ask for the real reason. He should tell you flat out.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Nobody wants to touch the Dad question? Because this is really bugging me, and there's no one else to ask.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
There have been times in the past where I was the guy that would pick up the phone and then hang it up. Pick up the phone and start dialing and then hang it up. Pick up the phone, dial and hang up after the first ring.

Calling a girl can be a terrifying thing sometimes.
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
Honestly kat? I think it's some sort of emotional openness issue, in my non-trained opinion. It also isn't particularly heartening.

If he were to come out just to see you on a weekend, it shows that he wants to spend time with just you, since you are important enough for him to make a visit only to meet with you. That would allow for an expectation of a certain emotional openness.

With the two week vacation bit, he leaves himself an out if he's uncomfortable ("we really need to move on, lots of stuff on the itinerary"), and he also relegates the visit to a "just passing through" type visit, where emotional openness isn't expected. Essentially, you are just another entertaining episode on the trip.

When is he visiting you, at the beginning or the end of the vacation?

Then again, I am a 27YOMH, so I am likely not as wise.

-Bok
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 


I'm the beginning of the trip.
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 

quote:

---

Why does my dad need to find an excuse to come and see me? I've been asking for months, and he finally assented and instead of flying in for a weekend, is dragging my step-mother on a two-week road trip through TEXAS to justify the vacation. TWO WEEKS. Through TEXAS. For the SCENERY! They are doing it in March because the bluebonnets will be out and my dad misses the wide-open vistas. I'm thinking that'll be cured with an hour through the Panhandle. Why on earth the epic trek? Is it a weakness to admit to coming just to see me?

---

Well, I just don't know honestly. It's possible that your Dad sees it this way.

The only thing I can relate my experiences to this would be trying to put less pressure on the person I am visiting. When I visited my friend in Utah, three different trips went poorly because she felt pressure to entertain me for the duration of my stay there. If I had been driving to Utah to look at the pretty mountains and just stopped to see her since I was around the area, maybe she would have been less nervous about me being bored. Maybe trying to make the visit more casual.



Other than that I would have to guess at his motives, as I know very little about him.

Maybe other male hatrackers will provide more insight.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
On the other hand, it may just be that he’s combining two things he wants to do – see you and go on a driving vacation.

I know it might seem like he’s saying that just visiting you isn’t worth the trip, but he probably isn’t thinking of it that way. Be happy that you get to see him, and don’t worry about what else he’s doing.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Farmgirl:"I'm okay with him working them out internally -- it is when he "works them out" through anger than it bugs me. If he is angry every time he is frustrated, or sad, or hurt, or whatever, then he is angry more often than he is happy."

Well, you're talking about teenage sons, here, right? The problem with them is that those chemical/emotional responses that lead men to react physcially to anger are just getting into full swing. When they start, it kind of throws you for a loop, and it takes a few years to learn to deal with it.

So, when they have an emotional issue that they are trying to work out internally, and they have trouble working it out, or become confused by it, anger is a response to that confusion. That anger, in turn, gets all blown out of proportion because they have not yet figured out how to deal with the powerful physical response to angry feelings. It should smooth itself out before too long. In the meantime, they probably feel some degree of shame and remorse for the way they can't control their anger responses, and those feelings of shame and remorse just feed back into the cycle.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 

quote:

---

I know it might seem like he’s saying that just visiting you isn’t worth the trip

---

quote:

---

PSI Teleport said:
Was that his way of avoiding being honest with me for some reason? (He knows I wouldn't have been mad at him.) Are guys thinking about having sex with specific girls that early on in their lives? Or is it more generic?

---

Sometimes the circus comes into town and sets up the tent without the guy thinking about sex or even the girls around him. He probably wasn't thinking about sex most of the time, and even when he was thinking about it, it was probably more thinking about sex/sexuality in general than about any particular girl.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, or if I'm able to say exactly what I'm trying to. My general idea is that it's not always thinking about sex that stiffens ya up.

Edit: Yeah, what those other guys said.

[ February 12, 2004, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: Nato ]
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Hey this is my new favorite thread!!

*runs off to find her list of guy questions*
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Hmm... I think me too.

*bookmarks thread for future reference*
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
One more thing Kat. I absolutley agree with HC, I too have that problem in sapdes. However, if someone wanted me to come visit them and I had wanted to drive around there then it would appear to me as an ideal solution to both. It would never occur to me that by doing two things in one trip that someone would feel hurt or left out, I would just be being efficent. I don't know that this is what he's thinking, but that's why i would be doing it (if I actually wanted to drive around Texas that is ).

Hobbes
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Thank you, Hobbes.

quote:

---

if I actually wanted to drive around Texas that is

---

See, there's the key. No one could actually WANT to drive around Texas for two weeks. He keeps saying he misses it. Two weeks of the same scenery should cure it. I like Texas, but I can't even imagine considering ten hours through flat prarie to be a kick in the pants of a vacation.

I mean, it was drive around Texas, or Germany. Would you believe my dad chose Texas?
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
So, what do guys really think about periods?

What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?

What about a sister or other non-intimate close female?

When did you first find out women had them, and what was it like to discover this?

Jenny, who is sadly going to be "on the rag" for Valentine's day.

PS. Was the above TOO MUCH INFORMATION?
 

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Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
 
Maybe I speak only for myself, but I really don't think about them at all. Probably this is because I've never had a serious relationship with a woman, so it's never come up.

Now let's see, if my sister told me she was starting her period, what would I say? Hmmm...something along the lines of: "Oh GOD, OH GOD! WHY IS SHE TELLING ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!". At that point I would be running from the room.

...Did I mention I really don't like my sister?
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 

quote:

---

So, what do guys really think about periods?

---

quote:

---

What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?

---

She hasn't yet... if she does I would try and figure out if it was a friendly warning or a threat.

quote:

---

What about a sister or other non-intimate close female?

---

quote:

---

When did you first find out women had them, and what was it like to discover this?

---

quote:

---

PS. Was the above TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

---

Yes, but then, what's the last time you didn't give too much information?

Hobbes
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
>> So, what do guys really think about periods? <<

I can't speak for other 22YOMHs (I'm one myself), but they don't bother me (regardless of who's telling me about it) unless I find myself on the receiving end of some snarkiness. As far as talking about them or dealing with them within relationships, it's never really been a problem. I found it fairly easy to work around while still having good times.

And no, Jenny, there's no such thing as TMI as far as I'm concerned.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
*grin* One of my friends has a 14-year old daughter. When we go on road trips and the daughter is along, the first things she says is, “okay you are NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PERIODS.” If she is going to have a friend along she corners us sometime before the trip to remind us that we ARE NOT ALLOWED to talk about our periods.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Jenny Gardener:"So, what do guys really think about periods?"

Most of the time, we don't think about them at all. When we do . . . well, it depends on the guy's level of experience with it. A guy who has had little to no experience being in very close relationships with women won't know much about it, and may imagine that there's a lot of weird stuff that he doesn't know and probably wouldn't want to know, and so would probably rather not hear about it at all.

A guy who has had considerable experience being in very close relationships with women probably doesn't have the same icky feelings about it, but may still be in a state of wondering about it. He may wonder what his SO's experience is actually like. He may wonder if there is anything he should do to help out during those times, or if that would be blowing things out of proportion.

A few men with longstanding close relationships, who have also taken the time to become educated, may have reached that blessed state where they think of it as only a part of life, and no big deal, and won't even care if they are asked to run to the supermarket for a package of what my wife delicately calls "supplies."

Jenny Gardener:"What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?"

In a bad month, it's something along the lines of "Yeah, no kidding. Like I could fail to be aware of that after the last couple of days."

In a good month, it would be more like, "Really? Already? Whew, dodged a bullet there."

In some sad cases, it's "Oh. Well. I guess we try again next month."

Jenny Gardener:"What about a sister or other non-intimate close female?"

Then, it would be "Why is she telling me this?" or maybe just amusement.

Jenny Gardener:"When did you first find out women had them, and what was it like to discover this?"

I first listened to an tape on the subject in my school library in about sixth grade, but I didn't understand a word of it. Not a word. I think it didn't come together until a Health class in tenth grade. I know I was clueless as late as ninth grade, when I went on a trip to Mexico with a school group, and I asked some of the girls why one of their friends wasn't in the swimming pool that day, and they said something about "girl stuff," which I didn't understand but which made me so embarrassed I couldn't look at any of them for the rest of the day.
 

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Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
pH-- Did you consider the horrendous time difference? Maybe by the time it occurred to him to call you, it was three o' clock in the morning where you are.

Jenny, Ron could always tell if I was on my period or about to be on my period just from kissing me. He said my breath smelled different. He can actually STILL predict it based on this method, even when it isn't time for it, or there are no other warning signs. It's kind of spooky.
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 

quote:

---

So, what do guys really think about periods?

---

quote:

---

What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?

---

quote:

---

What about a sister or other non-intimate close female?

---

quote:

---

When did you first find out women had them, and what was it like to discover this?

---

quote:

---

PS. Was the above TOO MUCH INFORMATION

---

Its all good .
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
My hubby's noticed the breath thing, too!
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

quote:

---

So, what do guys really think about periods?

---

quote:

---

What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?

---

quote:

---

What about a sister or other non-intimate close female?

---

quote:

---

When did you first find out women had them, and what was it like to discover this?

---

quote:

---

Jenny, who is sadly going to be "on the rag" for Valentine's day.

PS. Was the above TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

---

quote:

---

I am curious, though, why "sadly"? Unless the flow is unmanagably heavy, there isn't really any reason not to have sex when a woman's on her period.

---

I don't know about that. The only girls I've been with (admittedly very few) it wasn't even negotiable .
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Several women I've been with have been more aroused during their periods than other times of the month, actually. Others have been repulsed by the very idea. It doesn't matter much to me one way or the other.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Unfortunately, menstruation is a squicky issue for my husband.

I was wondering if this was a him thing or a guy thing in general.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Re: Sex while on your period. I've actually done a bit of reading on this, there isn't anything medically wrong with it. If anything it is the one time you most likely NOT to get pregnant if you don't use protection.

Practical reasons: Blood is harder to get out of the sheets, if you have er, messy sex.

Also the bit of abstinence can make the "heart" grow fonder.

Actually the idea squicks him out while it doesn't bother me at all. I suspect it has something to do with seeing his penis covered in blood.

Re: periods. A wonderful boyfriend will offer to give lower back massages during that time. There are two spots where the back muscles tense up somewhat near the kidneys during the period. Even if you don't have severe cramps they still feel wonderful. Of course once he starts taking you for granted, you have to ask unless he can tell you are absolutely miserable and volunteers.

AJ

[ February 12, 2004, 02:42 PM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
I think "sadly" might have been referring to infertility problems. (?)

quote:

---

"Oh. Well. I guess we try again next month."

---

quote:

---

Is he really a cat? (My cats do this too. Hmmm.)

---

quote:

---

Yes CT, you've obviously been duped into a romantic relationship with a cat. Happens all the time, I'm told.

---

Noemon, that is humorous in ways that can't even be imagined. Not icky-humorous, just cute.

It would explain a lot, though.

I get a lot of cat drool. But they seem to know when I'm about to get up, and they get a smug little look of anthropomorphic satisfaction in nixing the deal.

[Jenny, I need to write to you today. I need matchmakery help, and I've finally crawled my way back into the world of the functional again.]
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
ClaudiaTherese:"When I get focused on getting something done (washing dishes, organizing a pile of books, usually tidy-up-the-house type stuff), I seem to become more attractive in the smoochy way. Why does my being on a set path make distracting me a more inviting prospect?"

I think it is twofold: First, it has to do with the way your body moves when you are performing a physical task, and being really focussed on it. Second, it allows your SO to see your body from many different angles, including some that he can't see if you're just sitting. If it did bug you, there are certainly some ways you can dress that would minimize both of these effects. But on his behalf, I have to ask you to please not do that.
 

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Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
 
And there's something satisfying about distracting your SO from something she was doing. "Ha HA! *I* control what you pay attention to!" So long as the thing isn't so important you think you'd get in trouble for interrupting.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
BTL: UULG: No, I was just curious.

I like to stare at him when he's utterly absorbed in something. That's why I try to get him to play more computer games. It's just a different approach, you know?

As a more general reply to a side topic very briefly touched on earlier:
I cannot discuss this in great detail, as I would get the vapors. However, should one wish to be engaged in certain creative intimacies during times which might at first seem inconvenient, one might find that actually such times (properly supplied, one could say) might make such intimacies rather more convenient than other intimacies at that time, especially as some persons have different (or more focused?) goals at different times lunarily, so to speak.

And that's all I'm going to say on it.

Anyone up for a land war in Asia?

[ February 12, 2004, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
 
CT -

I'd also say it's a matter of attention. If you're sitting there then you're not really doing much to draw attention to yourself. But if you get up and start moving around suddenly you become much more interesting. It's partly a predatorial thing I think. Stationary targets are less likely to be noticed by a visual hunter. I find myself watching whoever happens to be moving, which I'm sure has gotten some strange impression of me from strangers, but so far nobody has said anything, so it's all right.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
at the idea of CT with the vapors! I know you aren't nearly as prim and proper in person as you are in writing!

AJ
 

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Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
Happy-C and B to-the L both beat me to the punch. But yep, yep, and yep to U-guy.

But to be fair, I think this goes both ways -- women do this to men too.
 

---

Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
AJ, I am a model of virtue. I have no idea what you are talking about. *prim look, wink

HC, the predatory stalking thing goes with the cat theory. Doubtlessly, he is feline. So, in other words, if I were to crawl around under the carpet, I'd be irresistible.

Huh. Well, I know what I'm doing on Valentine's Day.
 

---

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
CT,
You could give him one of these for Valentines day.

AJ
 

---

Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 

 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 

quote:

---

if I were to crawl around under the carpet, I'd be irresistible.

---

This reminds me of that Billy Idol video. And yes, you would .
 

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Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
 
Of course, this one goes to Annie.
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
CT!
 

---

Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
I have no idea what you are talking about.

I never do.

And now I'm off to have a fit of the vapors.
 

---

Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
CT: That sounds like a lot of work. Why don't you just open a can of tuna?
 

---

Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
[Edited for the innocent]

Xavier, go clean your room.

[ February 12, 2004, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 
That doens't sound like vapors.

In fact, it sounds like something else entirely .
 

---

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
Anyone who sends that to Annie... is not going to garner my love and appreciation.

Hobbes
 

---

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
CT- I have never encountered a feline with a voice that deep. Mr. CT on the answering machine message makes Johnny Cash sound like a castrati.

I have noticed this behavior in Ron, too. It seems to be worst first thing in the morning, as I get up and walk to the bathroom, but also when tending the dishwasher or the laundry. He usually makes comments, too. Like, " I think there's another sock in there, waaaay down at the bottom" and the sometimes humorous but always shocking jive-talk, "Dam, B*tch, you stoopid fly!"

He also tends to do it if I'm doing something that occupies my hands, so that fending him off is inconvenient. What could possibly be so attractive about a woman brushing her teeth? Wait two minutes and I'll be more receptive.

About the period thing... I read somewhere that women in some study or other claimed to want sex more, on average, while menstruating. They made a big deal about this because it seems to serve no evolutionary purpose. Most species want to mate most strongly when they are most fertile, but not humans.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
When a woman brushes her teeth, more than just her arm moves...
 

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Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
22YOMH-- about the breast thing... I have noticed that my sister encounters that a lot (I even teased her about one of the shirts she wore at WenchCon "If you ever rob a bank, wear that shirt. No one will look at your face." ). I was thinking about getting her a t-Shirt with "I'm up here" and an arrow pointing up at her face.

But, as far as I know, this has never happened to me.

Does one have to have a lot up there for this to happen? I mean, I like my body fine the way it is, and I can get away with showing more shoulder etc. than my sister because I'm not so busty. Judy got most of the mammary tissue in our generation, I guess.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
There have been some very good and very valid answers given here. Which is one of the reasons I love Hatrack so much.

But that's not gonna stop me from going through the questions I missed and giving my own POV.

:Cracks his knuckles, and goes to work:

quote:

---

Why is it that young males so often feel that the only emotion that is proper to be shown outwardly is anger?...Is there a way to teach a young male that it is okay to express above said emotions through words and not anger? And that doing so does not make one a wimp?

---

quote:

---

Is "Between the two of us, we have the perfect brain." some sort of uber-geek pickup line? Because it came out of nowhere, I couldn't think of a thing to say, and he avoided me for the rest of the semester.

---

quote:

---

Why does my dad need to find an excuse to come and see me?

---

This is a loaded question which would require a lot more insight than I currently have available.

I don't know his work schedule. I don't know his mindset - I don't know how emotional it is for him, and how he reacts to emotion. I know there's been a lot of drama in your family, and a lot of additional interpersonal elements that I just do not have access to. I'm sorry, but I'll have to admit I'm a blank on this one, and leave it up to others who may have more insight and experience on the matter.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
It's okay. I got lots of insight from the thread, and the one that rings the most true is what Law Guy said about the mountain man thing.

Thanks for the other answer.
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

Why does he say he'll call "this weekend" and then not call 'till Tuesday?

---

A) Because he's sensitive and stupid, and it takes him that long to work up the courage to do it again, no matter what signs you've given him. It's a big deal for him, and the fact that he does call is a big deal for him. It means he likes you a lot.

B) Because he's insensitive and stupid, and either merely forgets about it, or thinks that by calling you later, your feelings for him will intensify by the absence of his presence. He thinks he has you in check, and you better set him straight quickly.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
"the absence of his presence" - what a beautiful phrase. Rather poetic.
 

---

Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
*clears throat* This particular "he" is also calling from England. I stand by my answer.
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
EDIT: I realized I misread the questions, as if it was a person talking to their 12yo son. Eep. That's what lack of sleep (and lack of attention to the details and ages involved) does. But I'm going to leave my answer for those who may have the kind of question that leads closer to my original understanding of it. Sorry for the confusion. and thanks to CT for pointing out the error of my ways.

quote:

---

Last night my 22YO husband and I were talking about "that special time" in every thirteen-year-old boy's life when he finds he can't stand up in class anymore. He said it didn't help that it coincided with the girls deciding to be "fashionable" and wearing short skirts, tight shirts and the like...I asked him if he wanted to have sex with every girl in his class. He laughed nervously and said, "I didn't know what I wanted."

---

quote:

---

So, what do guys really think about periods?

---

quote:

---

I can sit there staring at the wall for half an hour without a single semi-leer, but getting up to unload the dishwasher seems to turn me into a love magnet.

---

quote:

---

CT- I have never encountered a feline with a voice that deep. Mr. CT on the answering machine message makes Johnny Cash sound like a castrati.

---

*grin
Yeah, I know. *dopey look
He used to DJ the blues, too.

Oh yeah, and "Dam, B*tch, you stoopid fly!"

Taalcon: Thanks for the reply. (pssst -- I think it was her 22YO husband talking about when he was 13, but still a good answer. )
 

---

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 

quote:

---

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are the first things that go through your mind when a Significant Other tells you she just started hers?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whew!

---

Word.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Why "Whew?" Is the cranky time usually right before the event, or is it relief at not being required to do something else? (Because we've already covered that, you know.)
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
22YOMH (or whomever): Why large speakers and loud music?
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

I think it was her 22YO husband talking about when he was 13

---

Oops! I now added an edit to the top of that post to clarify then. Thanks!
 

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Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 
Think "missed period".
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 

quote:

---

Sounds like you have a good kid. Keep talking, keep being honest, and if he ever does something you think is bad and a horrible mistake - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let him know that even though you are disappointed in him that you still love him, and are still his biggest supporter. You don't have to support a person's decisions to support the person.

---

While very good advice, Taalcon, it would be scary if I had a son old enough to talk with about this, seeing as how I am 22 years old. The male in question was my husband.



edit: Oops, already clarified!

[ February 12, 2004, 05:42 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

Why large speakers and loud music?

---

A) Because we're audiophiles and like to hear it ALL, and to perhaps drown out the rest of the world while we're at it.

B) Because our friends have it, and now we want it too.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Frisco: Ahh. Now that does make sense.

Taalcon: again, thanks.

[ February 12, 2004, 05:44 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Although I did screw up, PSI, I won't be editing the content of the response above, apart from the new disclaimer that I read the question wrong. Because in many ways, the mindset of 13 year old boys and married husbands aren't as dissimmilar as many would like (hope and pray) to believe.

:sigh: I need to start sleeping again sometime soon.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
ClaudiaTherese:"Why large speakers and loud music?"

Well, I can't be sure, because I don't really have this mania. But I think it may have to do with the physical reaction, including possibly an adrenaline rush, you can get when music is played insanely loud, particularly with heavy bass. You can feel it inside your body, in your bones and muscles.

I imagine it's related to the reason why such things as war chants/drums exist. They get you pumped up. Those kinds of physical responses can be very, very powerful in men.
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
>> Why large speakers and loud music? <<

Because when the music is loud - particularly with rock and orchestral music - you can feel it.

When I'm driving down the highway on a sunny summer day and I pop in an Eve 6 record, there's no point in playing it quietly. The instant that first song starts up, nice and loud, I automagically feel good. If I was already feeling good, I feel even better. If it's quiet, it doesn't have that effect.

When I'm angry and I put in a Tool record, I want those guitars to snarl, not whimper.

Also, it helps for singing along.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
For all you guys out there, I get just as pumped by some serious SQ and SPL as any of you.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
You think so, but you're just underestimating the power of the male hormones.

[ February 12, 2004, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: UofUlawguy ]
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Does this kind of music make guys want to...get intimate? That's how I get anyway. Maybe that's not the right word because "intimacy" isn't the final goal is these situations.
 

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Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
 
Music just moves you more if it's played loudly. And, hey, if the music is good, why not share? Is that a guy thing? I didn't know.

(Edit to add that this was written after twinky's comment 3 posts up.)

Dear 22YOMH,

Why is it that guys don't like for a girl to beat them at air hockey, or chess, or pool, or running, or anything competitive? First of all they try to make everything into a competition, even when it's not, and then they can't stand to ever lose. Most girls deliberately lose to guys a LOT, to boost their egos. Honestly, they do. I think that's horrible and dishonest and patronizing and I refuse to do it. If we are playing a game, I play to win, even though it virtually guarantees that a guy I like who seemed interested will completely lose interest.

When you're picking the person with whom you want to team up for the rest of your life, doesn't it make sense to choose someone very capable, smart, and accomplished? Why do guys like the dumb chicks (or the ones who are smart enough to pretend to be dumb, maybe )? I never have been able to figure that out. Can you please explain it so I can understand?

[ February 12, 2004, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: ak ]
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
PSI Teleport:"Does this kind of music make guys want to...get intimate?"

No. Not usually. Instead, I think it tends to make a man want to do something dangerous or violent. He probably won't actually do it, but that's the kind of rush he gets.
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
Because it's very driven into males (nature or nuture, it doesn't matter how) that winning is what you should do. You can't win if it's not a competition (not true I know, that's how most guys see it) and if you lose... well that's certainly not winning.

Hobbes
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
That was directed at AK, and I don't condone these actions... that's just the explenation I would give for it.

Hobbes
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Does a guy mind if his gf is much taller than him in heels?

(I'm a smidgen taller than him anyway and if I wear the aforementioned 3" heels out in public it is going to make me about 5'11" while he is 5' 7.5")

AJ
 

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Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 
What music are we talking about? I play all my music loud, and much of it makes me want to "get intimate".

That said, pretty much anything makes me want to "get intimate".
 

---

Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 

quote:

---

Does a guy mind if his gf is much taller than him in heels?

---

quote:

---

Why is it that guys don't like for a girl to beat them at air hockey, or chess, or pool, or running, or anything competitive? Why do guys like the dumb chicks? I never have been able to figure that out. Can you please explain it so I can understand?

---

Because a lot of guys feel like they are 'less of a man' when they're not in control. They also like to have the idea that they are stronger than the woman, so he can feel comfortable about his abilities to stand up for her, and defend her if something goes wrong. For those people, a woman seeming to be smarter than him, or better as physical activities, makes him look down upon his own abilities, and question his ability to be a Protector for his woman.

It's not logical, but this is a thought process that some have.

Some guys also like the idea of Power, of Being In Control for the sole reason that he's the man. He doesn't like women circumventing him or being smarter.

But then there are the guys who love mental stimulation, and wouldn't want a woman who isn't close to an equal to him in mental capacity. I know that I LOVE getting into deep discussions with people - many guys don't, especially if the person is more knowledgeable then they, and they are risking 'looking dumb'.

And quite frankly, guys hate losing to other guys too. It's not just you. We just like to win in general.
 

---

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
I agree, Taalcon... I much prefer dating women who challenge me. I would love to date a woman who could run intellectual circles around me, actually.

AJ -- I would find that unbelievably hot. Sadly, not many women fit the bill (I'm 6'3"). But being almost as tall as me in heels is good enough (say, 5'10" and up, plus heels). (Add dark hair to the mix and it's insta-lust ).

PSI -- music doesn't get me going like that, no.

[ February 12, 2004, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: twinky ]
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
ak:"Why is it that guys don't like for a girl to beat them at air hockey, or chess, or pool, or running, or anything competitive?"

I think most guys are competitive. So we all tend to make things into competitions, and we don't like to lose a competition. But some do feel even stronger about "losing" to a woman. I think it's because their role models and peers suggest to them (often subliminally) that there are some things at which they should naturally be better than women. So if they're not, they are a failure, and less of a man.

ak:"Why do guys like the dumb chicks?"

Most don't, really. But those that do probably think that a smart woman is more likely to be resistant to the man's will, not let him do whatever he wants, nag him, criticize him, and push him to be a better man than he is (which is uncomfortable for a slug like him). On the other hand, a "dumb chick" will just think he is wonderful and go along with whatever he says. He is delusional, of course, but that is what he is thinking.
 

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Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
 
Does being beat at bowling or boggle by a girl make her less desireable? It clearly seems to have that effect. And would the same effect come into play if she beat OTHER people? Like if you watch your gf kick the winning goal in the soccer tournament, does that enhance her desireability, or decrease it?

I've always figured the really cool guys will admire success but I can't actually say my experience bears that out.
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

Does a guy mind if his gf is much taller than him in heels?

---

To be honest, most men can't even fathom the reason women want to wear heels in the first place. I understand now that it has something to do with elongating the look of the legs - but unless you tell us, we don't get it. We just thnk of it as another wierd thing women 'just like to do'.

and I know there have been some who mind (once again liking to be the 'dominating figure'), but most shouldn't have much of a problem with it, unless the natural height difference is already stated as an issue, and the heels only make it worse.
 

---

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
twinky I'm sure I would like your 6+ feet. I was raised to be a height bigot. I never thought I would fall for a guy under 5'10". (My mother is 5'10". My dad and my brothers all 6' plus, my grandfather is 6'6" and having a tall family often intimidates shorter guys. I'm 5' 8" But I realized that that was my main hangup of the entire relationship, and it was pretty darn good otherwise, so I got over it.

I think I actually still have more of a hangup about it than he does. If I was a guy I would want to be talller than my gf. Though he claims likes it... since that puts him at nearer my chest level than eye level so he has an excuse for "looking". But I'm not convinced he isn't just saying it to make me feel better.

<grin>

AJ
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
BannaOj:"Does a guy mind if his gf is much taller than him in heels?"

If he is already a confident person, then no, although he might joke about it, and he could very well take some flak from his friends. If he has confidence problems already, then it may bother him a lot.
 

---

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
 
Like if your gf wins the Nobel Prize or gets elected president, would that bum you out and make you feel like an also-ran?
 

---

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
>> I understand now that it has something to do with elongating the look of the legs... << (Taal)

Yes. Makes the calf muscles more... calfy, among other things. Mmmmmmmm.

>> ....since that puts him at nearer my chest level than eye level so he has an excuse for "looking". But I'm not convinced he isn't just saying it to make me feel better. << (AJ)

I believe him. Any excuse to look is a good excuse

I like tall women because I like being able to look them in the eye, oddly enough.

>> Like if your gf wins the Nobel Prize or gets elected president, would that bum you out and make you feel like an also-ran? <<

No, that would put me in the mood. In a big way.
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
If he truly was in the running for both - it's a valid thought
 

---

Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
ak:"Does being beat at bowling or boggle by a girl make her less desireable? It clearly seems to have that effect. And would the same effect come into play if she beat OTHER people? Like if you watch your gf kick the winning goal in the soccer tournament, does that enhance her desireability, or decrease it?"

I think there are a lot of activities that men don't naturally expect to be better at than women, and so he wouldn't mind losing to a woman any more than to a man (although he still will hate losing.)

However, the rest of your question does bring up a point that I hadn't though of, and am not proud to admit, but does play a role at some instinctual level with most men, I think. Men tend to think of themselves as protectors and providers, and so they can be drawn to a woman that seems to need protection and to be provided for. On the other hand, a woman that seems to be able to take care of herself just fine may make a man feel a tad useless or superfluous.

This feeling is easily suppressed for most men, and their feelings of admiration for a woman's acheivements will normally be much stronger. However, it is still there, lurking underneath. Many women that have successful relationships with their SO's have found ways to make sure their man feels powerful and needed.
 

---

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
incidentally twinky, I'm blonde, not dark haired and already attached. I don't mind being attached but I can't help looking and drooling sometimes <grin>

AJ
 

---

Posted by SirReal (Member # 5257) on :
 
High heels also cause the subtle protrusion of the derriere and breasts due to balance compensation.
 

---

Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Taalcon:"To be honest, most men can't even fathom the reason women want to wear heels in the first place. I understand now that it has something to do with elongating the look of the legs - but unless you tell us, we don't get it."

What?! What are you smoking?

Okay, I would never insist that my wife wear high heels, because I know how painful they can be. But I do recognize (how could I not?) that they do amazing things for the shape of the legs and the butt. Have a girl stand in front of you, with her back to you, barefoot, and then have her do the same thing with high heels. You can't tell me there's no difference.

It doesn't mean it's worth the agony. But it has a very real, powerful effect.
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
That requires thought, and memory, and making connections. We may notice she looks extraordinarily GOOD in the heels, and not make the connection that this it what enhances it.
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
>> incidentally twinky, I'm blonde, not dark haired and already attached. I don't mind being attached but I can't help looking and drooling sometimes <grin> << (AJ)

It's funny -- ask any of my friends, and to a one they'd all tell you I go for blondes. All of my girlfriends have been blonde. So maybe I'm just trying to deny the truth

The last time I posted a picture here, though, I got in trouble (and not only because the only thing I was wearing in the picture was my guitar ).
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Dear 22YOMH,

Do guys feel insecure when their SOs work out and are in better shape than them?

What makes some women intimidating...meaning, if you found them attractive/likeable, but would never approach them because she is intimidating?
 

---

Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
Attractiveness makes women intimidating. It's much harder to talk to a woman you're attracted to than it is to talk to just about anyone else.
 

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Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
 
Mack,

Not in my (limited) experience. I was actually under the impression that women generally have more issues when their SO is in better shape. Heck, a woman who's in good shape is great to have around. One can tell about a woman who takes care of herself, as they're generally more energetic, for instance. Many of them have more apparent self confidence without the (I really don't want to use this word, but my mind has frozen) bitchiness.

As for the intimidation factor, it's a matter of percieved importance. It's a whole lot easier to go into a conversation where you don't care what the outcome is. If you go in wanting something specific, such as a phone number, a date, whatever, then suddenly you get nervous and will avoid it to prevent the negative outcome.
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
mackillian:"Do guys feel insecure when their SOs work out and are in better shape than them?"

Almost never, I would say. Most guys have no problem being in lousy shape themselves (unless they are really trying to attract a mate), but some of them still think their woman should be in perfect shape. And it's not a matter of health, it's all about looks. Yes, it's a double standard. It makes me very angry to hear about guys like this.

mackillian:"What makes some women intimidating...meaning, if you found them attractive/likeable, but would never approach them because she is intimidating?"

An inferiority complex, a lack of self-confidence. The feeling that she's "out of your league."

But it's also the idea of approaching her for purposes of "courtship," rather than simple human interaction. Courtship entails a whole new set of rules, and so when he approaches a woman with this in mind, he is trying to figure out what those rules are and how to apply them, and he probably doesn't have much experience with them. If he did, he would probably either already be attached, or he would be the obnoxious playboy type that doesn't get intimidated because he knows how to play the game.
 

---

Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Dear 22YOMH,

What am I doing wrong?
 

---

Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
 
You know, speaking as a 22-year-old male heterosexual, I feel compelled to add that I'm not sure this thread is a very accurate depiction of my species - and I'm pretty sure it isn't a very universal depiction. Actual answers to most of these questions will vary to the extreme from guy to guy. And most guys, I think, are a good deal more complicated than this thread might suggest.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

What am I doing wrong?

---

Probably nothing. Men can be fairly dumb, and would rarely recognize a good thing if it came up and kicked them in the ass. So if nobody's noticing, then often times those people wouldn't be good enough for you anyway.

Sometimes you just have to wait for the right guy. Someone'll wise up sooner or later

And for those in a relationship who are asking us the question: ask them instead, and keep asking until they give a truthful answer. And understand that 'nothing' can often times be a very truthful answer, even if you don't believe it.

[ February 12, 2004, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: Taalcon ]
 

---

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Xap: then the questions in this thread are being directed to you as well. Feel free to give your own views! they'll be welcome.
 

---

Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
 

quote:

---

Most guys have no problem being in lousy shape

---

quote:

---

(Not that sex drives you crazy, but it's just one of those things -- like D&D -- that seems to be a handy nail for that fabric to snag on.)

---

D&D? Dungeons and Dragons don't seem to quite fit in the context. Did you mean S&M. Or is it one of those terms Steve is going to be at me when I don't know what it is?

AJ
 

---

Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 

quote:

---

Dear 22YOMH,

Do guys feel insecure when their SOs work out and are in better shape than them?

What makes some women intimidating...meaning, if you found them attractive/likeable, but would never approach them because she is intimidating?

---

Well, for me it would depend on what you mean by "in better shape". If its a question of overall physical fitness or body-fat content, absolutely not. A girl in good shape encourages me to get into better shape, and I'm usually very attracted to her. I'm half-way in love with my yoga teacher, largely because she is in absolutely perfect condition.

A girl who is stronger than me though would be intimidating. I don't mean a girl who can do more push-ups or pull-ups, but one who could beat me in arm wrestling or carry more cement bags. I've never actually met such a woman, but I'm sure they exist. Still though, it wouldn't be much of a turn-off to me unless the girl was overly masculine looking. I can't say whether that's true for all guys though.

As for what's normally intimidating, I think extreme beauty is the main one for me. I've only met a few women who were so drop-dead gorgeous its hard to even talk to them, but when I do I get really nervous.
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 
I responded to Mack's question without noticing page 4, and see that it was pretty much answered the same way mine was. Us guys do think alike in a lot of ways sometimes .

quote:

---

Why do some guys have to pretend they never make a mistake? Is it seen as like a weakness or something to admit that? If so, wouldn't the fact that somebody was too insecure to ever be wrong strike people as the most glaring weakness of all?

---

Yes, yes, you'd think so, but they don't realize that if that is the case.

I actually am guilty of this sometimes. Mostly though I'm not serious. I actually angered my ex a few times by defending myself even in a stupid mistake. I was mostly just trying not to seem like an idiot I think. Intelligence is supposed to be my best quality, so I have to defend the illusion of it at all costs . I would admit that I made a mistake, but then immediately give a justification for why I made the mistake. Probably a bad habit, and I'm not sure why I do it. Just now in this post I admitted that I made the mistake of doing it sometimes, but was trying to think of a justification .

I'll try and work on that.

[ February 13, 2004, 01:01 AM: Message edited by: Xavier ]
 

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
 
Yeah, I can see myself admitting a mistake faster in the presence of a girl than I would a guy. That's just a generally stupid male thing. But the girl should be thankful, most guys don't admit mistakes at all. We don't like to appear stupid, ergo, we often seem stupid.
 

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Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :
 
You know, I didn't hear anyone dis Arnold Schwarzenegger for apologizing for groping all those women against their wishes. But then I guess he's not in danger of seeming not manly enough or something. I don't know.

The other thing that I wonder about is why it's such a horrible insult to mistake a guy for a girl online, but not vice versa? And why it's okay to give girls boys names but not the reverse? And basically why anything associated with women is seen as deeply shameful for guys, but not the reverse? Is being female really so mortifying? Someone once, as an insult, told me I threw a rock "just like a GIRL!" Should I have been deeply shamed by this?
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 

quote:

---

A girl who is stronger than me though would be intimidating. I don't mean a girl who can do more push-ups or pull-ups, but one who could beat me in arm wrestling or carry more cement bags. I've never actually met such a woman, but I'm sure they exist. Still though, it wouldn't be much of a turn-off to me unless the girl was overly masculine looking. I can't say whether that's true for all guys though.

---

quote:

---

The other thing that I wonder about is why it's such a horrible insult to mistake a guy for a girl online, but not vice versa? And why it's okay to give girls boys names but not the reverse? And basically why anything associated with women is seen as deeply shameful for guys, but not the reverse? Is being female really so mortifying? Someone once, as an insult, told me I threw a rock "just like a GIRL!" Should I have been deeply shamed by this?

---

Well, I think its actually something hard-wired into the male brain. We don't like to be seen as feminine. I think mostly because the "ideal" man is traditionally something like the marlboro man. Other than that I'm not really sure.

As for throwing like a girl, to me that's just a technical term used for anyone who throws with their elbows and not their whole arm. Mostly its an insult to guys, not because of its association with women, but for what it implies about their physical abilities.

I think the term is very nearly outdated, but I doubt it will go away completely any time soon. Watching women's softball is enough to get me to think it's due for an update . I mostly only use it to compliment girls who throw the correct way.
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 

quote:

---

Here's another one: How do you handle (or do you handle) your gf having friendships with other guys?

---

To me this all depends on trust. If I really trust a girl, its all good.

True trust is hard to find though.

For me also it has a lot to do with physical contact. A male friend of my ex gave her a back massage right in front of me, and I pretty much stormed out of the room. Another time she rode piggy-back on a guy who had a crush on her since they were in Kindergarden in front of me. That didn't go over well with me at all.

Mostly its not a problem, but for the love of God keep your hands off her!


 

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
 
Yeah, I generally am slow to trust in everything, including relationships. I usually try not to show it, though, cause that's a big con in significant others, and I know that. I've dealt with it well before, and I trusted them, but not their guy friends. Usually, if the guys haven't made a move before, they want to; and even if the guy friends in question have, they still think about it a lot.

That's just how we work. Sucks, huh?
 

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Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
 
I have to say though that I have been on the other side of the scenario. I am very good friends with a girl Sarah I've known for years, and all her boyfriends end up jealous of me (well, before I moved 3000 miles away anyway).

Me and Sarah have never so much as kissed, and while she has admitted to having feelings for me once (while drunk ), I don't feel anything romantic for her and she knows that.

I sympathized with the guys, but I wasn't sure how to deal with the situation. Pretty much they just got to know me and realized that I'm not a threat (though some of them never did).
 

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Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
*Wants to see pic of twinky and guitar*
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 


(It's nearly two years old now, though.)
 

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Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
<---worships Tool too
 

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Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
and I still want to see it!
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
Really?

That's a rare thing...







Edit: Look more closely at my post right above yours.

[ February 13, 2004, 02:50 AM: Message edited by: twinky ]
 

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Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
Someone here has a very dirty mind.

*looks around*

Oh wait! That's me!
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 


Well, I wasn't going to say anything...
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

Why do some guys have to pretend they never make a mistake? Is it seen as like a weakness or something to admit that? If so, wouldn't the fact that somebody was too insecure to ever be wrong strike people as the most glaring weakness of all?

---

quote:

---

How do you handle (or do you handle) your gf having friendships with other guys?

---

quote:

---

Does being beat at bowling or boggle by a girl make her less desireable? It clearly seems to have that effect. And would the same effect come into play if she beat OTHER people? Like if you watch your gf kick the winning goal in the soccer tournament, does that enhance her desireability, or decrease it?"

---

I know I'm a decade older than the target of these questions, but I have to say that I've never felt threatened by this kind of thing. I generally like it when my partner is better at things than I am--it gives me the opportunity to improve, and if I need help with something it's nice to have someone to turn to. My wife is more intelligent than I am (although ironically, people tend to underestimate her intelligence, in part because she's gorgeous, and in part because she doesn't see any point in displaying any "look at me, I'm smart" feathers), and I love that.

I've got a question of my own. You know the stereotype of men being squicked out at the prospect of having to buy tampons or pads? Does anyone actually feel that way? If so, why? I mean seriously, why on earth? Are you afraid that the checkout person will think that you menstrate? I've never understood that one. Then again, I've never found it embarassing to buy condoms either, and most of my friends do, so maybe I'm just odd.

Oh, and CT, Frisco's got it. C and I don't want kids, so there's a certain level of "whew" every time she gets her period.
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
Girlfriends who have male friends:

I feign jealousy, in large part because I don't think my girlfriend thinks I get jealous enough

---

I have to say, a lot of these responses make me kinda glad to be a 27 year-old MH, with my particular circle of friends. We don't seem to have a lot of the hangups or trust issues some of these younguns have. Maybe that's because we have a whole 'nother set of them

-Bok
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

---

Why do some guys have to pretend they never make a mistake? Is it seen as like a weakness or something to admit that? If so, wouldn't the fact that somebody was too insecure to ever be wrong strike people as the most glaring weakness of all?

---

Somehow, I don't think it's really a guy problem. It's everybody's problem. You don't want to make a mistake, especially in front of someone who cares for you ! You think it diminishes you ! We tend to forget that "to err is human". I really don't have that problem, but then again, I've had only one relationship in my 22 years on Earth, so maybe my way is the bad way I have a very good 21YOMH that's even readier to admit his errors than I am, but far from helping him to get into relationships, it made him "lose" to other guys who didn't open that much to the respective girl, but instead seemed very confident about everything. You know, the kind of "I'm absolutely in control" guys. Apparently, that works better sometimes… How else could you explain this: after getting very close to a girl, this friend of mine got rejected because he was supposed to go to another town the next year. Then this girl gets into a relationship with a guy she didn’t quite know, and who also was sure to leave ! (In fact, he dumped her after only a couple of month, because he didn't want to get too attached before leaving ! Go figure this one out ! And they say we're complicated ?! When do we get the "Ask the 22 Year Old Female Heterosexual" thread ?! )

quote:

---

Someone once, as an insult, told me I threw a rock "just like a GIRL!"

---

quote:

---

Attractiveness makes women intimidating. It's much harder to talk to a woman you're attracted to than it is to talk to just about anyone else.

---

I think twinky made a confusion here: there are "generally attractive" women -> those who look like top-models, and those that you, as a single person, are attracted to. The first category, as Proust said, "should be left to the unimaginative men" (approx.). If the second intimidates a man, it means he's interested in her. He wants something from her, something he's not sure to get. And that uncertainty makes her intimidating. (it's always the unknown that frightens us, isn't it ?)

quote:

---

Most guys have no problem being in lousy shape

---

Since I practiced a lot of sports and I never had weight problems, I don’t really know what lousy shape is . Now, for example, I am in a very demanding period in school, with just one and a half hour of archery per week, but I still have no physical problems whatsoever. But I have no idea what my reaction would be if, later in my life, my physical shape would deteriorate. I don't care about such stuff right now, so maybe by the time that will happen, my usual carelessness will gain the upper hand on any kind of rational thought. And I guess the fact that usually men have less weight problems in their youth than women helps them (us) develop this kind of attitude.

Disclaimer: Rereading my post, I think to some I might seem the kind of guy that thinks that all women are physically inferior to men. Honestly, I'm not. To give you an (additional) insight on my personality, two of my closest female friends also went to the same karate club as I did, and were better at it than me. I even fought them from time to time – after I got near their level – and can tell you that I felt very relieved when I managed to get an even score against them for my belt test ! And of course, I was the more concentrated person in those fights, since it was my exam. I wouldn't have even considered fighting them on the day of THEIR exam !!
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Noemon, I always was puzzled by that too. Wouldn't it be visible bragging rights? As in, "I've got a woman at home, ha ha!" I would've guessed guys without women might buy them just to establish themselves in the shopping aisle pecking order, but it doesn't seem to be so.

(Oh, thanks. Now the "whew" makes a lot more sense.)

22YOMH (or whomever): Do you ever forget your gender when speaking with a woman? Other guys? I don't mean "do you go all girly?" but rather "does your gender become irrelevant?" -- or is it like a switch that's always turned on? Is it a filter through which you see everything, or is it occasionally beside the point?

[ February 13, 2004, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Hey -- that's pretty good twinky! I didn't know you could make a smilie into a hyperlink!


FG
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Yeah CT, isn't that bizarre? I'd never thought of it, but yeah, you would think that single guys would be hanging out in that isle, wouldn't you? It'd be kind of the same principle as going out to a bar with female friends so that other women will see that you're the type of guy that women like, and be more receptive to you.

And if nothing else, it'd have to be a great place to meet women, right?
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

---

22YOMH (or whomever): Do you ever forget your gender when speaking with a woman? Other guys? I don't mean "do you go all girly?" but rather "does your gender become irrelevant?" -- or is it like a switch that's always turned on? Is it a filter through which you see everything, or is it occasionally beside the point?

---

CT, you can find a pretty good answer in Túrin's first post, over here . (Anyone, can i make a link to a specific post in a thread ?)
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Noemen: Yep.

(Astonishingly, this question does not seem to have troubled anyone but us. What are the odds? )

Corwin: thanks! But for clarification, re:

quote:

---

A guy can have female friends, but he has thought about them in a non-friend way. Might have decided *no*, but he's thought about it.

---

Is the reverse true? Does he ever interact with them and not think about it?

[ February 13, 2004, 09:46 AM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 

quote:

---

Noemon, I always was puzzled by that too. Wouldn't it be visible bragging rights? As in, "I've got a woman at home, ha ha!" I would've guessed guys without women might buy them just to establish themselves in the shopping aisle pecking order, but it doesn't seem to be so.

---

If you're in the store with he thought that you might pick up a girl (I've heard it can happen), then you don't want to make them think you already have someone at home.

And if you're a single girl, would you really want to flirt with a guy while you decide whether tampon or pad is the better option.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
CT: I'll have to answer that later, got to go in archery class now, but I think that in order to forget your own gender you would also have to discard the interlocutor's gender. So could you please FURHTER clarify your question ? 'Cause I can see several interpretations:
1. Can a guy talk to a girl whom he's involved with and not think he's a man and she's a girl ? -> From my one time experience, I'd say "no". I could before getting into the relationship, but somehow my ability to do this dropped dead during it. Believe it or not, that's the main reason for our breaking up: too few time spent together, and even fewer of that time used to "really talk" to each other... That happened both ways, however. I hope we both learned something from this, though...
2. Can a guy talk to a girl he just met not regarding the discussion from the sexual point of vue ? -> Depends if she's beautiful Now really, if she's "generally attractive" (see above for definition), my natural process is to first look at her as a girl (therefore considering myself as a boy), and then talk to her as to anyone else. Sometimes, it does not succed, though
If not "generally attractive", I tend to go directly to the "one genderless person to another" part of the action. But that might change over time. I found myself attracted to girls that at first I didn't consider being attractive.

To sum it up: yeah, we guys can talk to a girl without thinking to it as a "boy-to-girl" talk, but sometimes provocative outfits of the other party tend to play games with our concentration

Well, I seem to have answered it anyhow, but now I'm really late for my archery class...
 

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Posted by HollowEarth (Member # 2586) on :
 

quote:

---

Is the reverse true? Does he ever interact with them and not think about it?

---

Certainly, a lot of that depends on what the conversation is about, whats going on around, where you are, and who the girl is.

I find this is especially true when I'm really concentrating on something.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
As a female heterosexual, guys who are willing to engage in a conversation that's an exchange rather than a chance to dominate are wonderful.

Dear 22YOMH,

Why is it some guys don't like to dance?
 

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Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
 
Have you seen what most men look like on the dance floor, Kat? Graceful isn't the first word that comes to mind
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Very few people look fabulous dancing. That's not the point - if YOU are the one dancing, then you don't have to watch other people. If everyone is, no one is watching each other.

---

But I asked for an explanation. Are you saying it's a self-concious thing?

[ February 13, 2004, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

Why is it some guys don't like to dance?

---

Because we don't think we can. We see many guys who think they can, and see the sad truth. We don't wanna be them.

So yes, for the most part it's a self confidence (or mere self image) issue for those who choose not to participate.

Besides - watching women on the Dance floor is much more entertaining when there are less men around to get in the way.
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
Well, kat, from the male point of view, MOST women ARE, in fact, beautiful and graceful on the dance floor.

Plus I got made fun of, at 3 different occassions (separated by years, though I danced more often than 3 times), about my dancing. So I, in reality, can't dance

-Bok
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 
Also, the last time I decided to actually try and dance was during a Halloween party (Over two years ago now, I think), where I was dressed as the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Anonymity is your friend when it comes to looking ridiculous.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
*considers* So, say, mosh pits then? Completely anonymous - there are too many people for anyone to stand out, even with egregious dancing.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
I never use to dance because I thought I couldn't. I was always very self-conscious and thought everyone was staring at me.

Then I went to a club that I went to often, but never danced, with a different group of friends. They all went out and danced. They all were really, really bad at it. But nobody noticed, nobody cared, nobody pointed fingers at them. After that, I figured if they could do it, so could I.

But the answer to the question is that most guys don't want to look stupid and they think they will if they dance.
 

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Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
 

quote:

---

So, say, mosh pits then? Completely anonymous - there are too many people for anyone to stand out, even with egregious dancing.

---

quote:

---

I would hardly consider what goes on in mosh pits 'dancing'.

---

Heh. Fair enough.

Okay. Just asking.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
No, what goes on in mosh pits is my moronic husband stomping the snot out of his glasses before he realizes he's not wearing them anymore, then running back to me in a burst of testosterone and covering me in the perspiration of two hundred very large native american guys.

Then his friends pull their sweat-soaked shirts off and pop me in the butt with them.

*smiles weakly*...aren't guys fun?
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
Moshing is more a free-form contact sport, set to really agressive music. There are certain rules and responsibilities you assume in any decent pit:

1) When a person wants out, let them out.
2) If they don't, push them back in
3) If a person goes down, the highest priority is to get them on two feet again
4) Actual punches and kicks are frowned upon, though you get some people who like to go old school with the elbow-flailing stomp. Try to avoid them
5) Anything else goes as long as you are having fun

The problem with dancing for me is that I have a keen head for rhythm, but it doesn't translate to my body; the hips in particular. So I get _frustrated_ trying to dance, because my body won't listen to me, no matter how hard I try

-Bok
 

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Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
 
_I_ used to mosh...

Of course, now the big thing is all emo/fashioncore, and all of the guys are trying to look ridiculous on purpose while imitating really bad kung fu. At least, I _think_ that's what they're doing.
 

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Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
 
The thing is, most guys go on the dance floor and try to imitate what the girls are doing, because they *do* look graceful and look good. But it's physically impossible for a guy to do that, they don't have the hips and their center of gravity is completely different. So, now people are doing things like "liquid" (bad kung fu) because it's all arms and they can actually *do* it. It's a lot easier for a guy to coordinate his hands and arms than it is the rest of his body. I say more power to them.
 

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
 
Well, all I have to say is that here in Austin, we white guys are happy to see that most party dancing has been reduced to dance-like dry humping. Which we instinctively know how to do.

But otherwise, I dance to look ridiculous and entertain. I'm not here to dance WITH her, I'm here to dance FOR her and make her laugh. And slow dancing is just a bear hug plus uncertain pacing back and forth.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
*thinks most guys here would enjoy knowing how to salsa and swing*
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
22YOMH and other males! I had a question! ^
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Tell me more about this "liquid" bad kung-fu dancing. That sounds like the dancing I've seen in alternative clubs for the past 15 years.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
PSI, yes! Guys are fun.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Hmmmm......

Bite me!
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
<--- knows how to salsa and swing
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
<--- is six-two in high heels.
 

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Posted by SirReal (Member # 5257) on :
 
<-----Enjoy's Salsa but doesn't like swinging. I'm monogamous.
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
>> PSI Teleport is six-two in high heels. <<



*falls over*
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Heh. Well. I'm just trying to keep up with Jes.
 

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Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
 
zgator: I don't know how to describe it besides bad kung fu. With like, strange, uncoordinated, sweeping kicks and random arm spasms. Most popular with emo/fashioncore guys who dye their hair black and wear tight girl jeans with pink belts, as far as I've seen.
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
I can't dance and I know it. The few times I tried at high school dances I was OK at not paying attention to other people but I was certainly told I looked ridiculous (and I did, they were right ). However, I just can not do it now. I have niether the skills nor the will power to go out dancing.

On the other hand Annie's promised my in-home, private dance lessons, so maybe in time I'll be able to salsa and swing, though to be honest, even though I can't waltz either that always seemed like the most fun (to me).

Hobbes
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
Are any females going to start a similar thread? I think that'd be interesting.

Hobbes

[ February 13, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
 

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Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
 
You seem pretty in touch with your feminine side, Hobbes, why don't you take charge of one
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
pH, that really sounds similar to the dancing I've seen in alternative clubs for years. The kicks aren't really uncooridinated and I guess the arms aren't spastic, so maybe that's the difference. My friends use to call it hand dancing because you would have your arms and hands and fingers all moving around.

Maybe the guys you're talking about are trying that and just really suck at it.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
PSI Teleport, to answer your question:

quote:

---

So is there a chance they liked me all along?

---

I think there's a big chance that at least one of them, if not all, liked you, if I remember correctly what I was like a couple of years ago There wasn't usually very much communication between boys and girls in our high school, except, of course, for the couples. Then again, I was in a computer science class with only eight girls and twenty-three boys, where almost all of us guys were talking about computer games / programming... You know, the kind of stuff computer-geeks talk about. And from the eight girls in the class, five had boyfriends, two of them were the silent/shy type, and one of them was ...uh... not interesting
As for girls from other classes I talked to, there were the two that I went to karate with (see my earlier post), and I really liked one of them. Except my brother got to her before me And of course, a girl that was in my class since starting school, then moved to another town, than reappeared in high school. I liked her before high school, and again when I saw her in high school. "Of course", I never told her that (good comunication skills, ha ?!). That's about all my 'computer-geek' experience with girls during high school. It all changed when I came to France, but that's a different story, and I must go now.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Why won't guys throw anything away? My hubby has a closet full of clothes, but he won't get rid of the old geeky stuff he used to wear. We also have a really crappy bed that our daughter sleeps in, with a bad bad mattress, but he won't let me get rid of it!

Why don't some guys ever want to go out?
 

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Posted by Livious (Member # 2326) on :
 
Cool, I become a 22YOMH in ten minutes now. As soon as the surgery is finished I'll get on these.
 

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Posted by luthe (Member # 1601) on :
 
Because we might need some of that stuff later, and if we pitch it out we will need it later.
 

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Posted by Livious (Member # 2326) on :
 
Alright, now that I'm properly qualified...

quote:

---

Why don't some guys ever want to go out?

---

quote:

---

So is there a chance they liked me all along?

---

quote:

---

What makes some guys get angry at girls for being attractive? Is there any way to make sense of that?

---

I remember thinking once or twice something along the lines of "she shouldn't be allowed to walk around all hot like that," reflecting a bit of annoyance that someone's presence was making it difficult to function normally. It's mostly a joking thought though.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Egads! Now he won't let me throw out a cat-pee-saturated rug, on the off chance a steam cleaner will take care of the problem.

HELP!
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Inform him that nothing gets out old cat pee.

My carpet still smells like cat pee from previous renters and I've tried everything.
 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
Tried windex? Sometimes the additional ammonia actually helps.

Question: How come guys can watch movies like Saving Private Ryan, Blackhawk Down, We Were Soldiers Once etc over and over and over again?

I don't mind watching them once, but I don't have the stomach for watching the realistic blood and gore multiple times.

How do you do it?

AJ
 

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Posted by Koga (Member # 5646) on :
 
[ Note: Answer by a 19 year old heterosexual male, may not be as full of wisdom and experiance as the 22 year old promised in thread title]

I haven't seen We Were Soldiers, or Saveing Privet Ryan, but have seen Black Hawk Down and several other rather gorey movies. I can stand to watch them multiple times because for the most part the gore doesn't bother me that much. I'm not sure if that is the case with most guys, or just me, but the blood and gore, even when very realistic usually has little affect on me.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Back in your box, dude. You lack three whole years life experience.


 

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Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
 
*can't help self*

"Saving Privet Ryan" - Plot, a eco-terrorist shrub conservation group rescues "Ryan" from a secret experimental laboratory.

*I know it's bad. I couldn't help myself*

AJ
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
AJ
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Dear all 22YOMH's,

My husband, Jesse, joined your ranks today!


 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
Tell me this, Male Heterosexuals... Since when would it be OK to break up with a girl on her birthday??

on behalf of my friend.
 

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Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
 
That could be a sign that he wasn't really a great guy for her after all. I guess it's about as bad as breaking up with somebody on Valentine's Day.
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
On the saving things forever question, I don't think it's a guy thing, it's a personality trait both genders have.

Hobbes
 

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Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
 
Ryuko:"Since when would it be OK to break up with a girl on her birthday??"

See, this is why every girl needs brothers/brothers-in-law or some close, non-romantic male friends. Our job in such a case is to gang up on the little twit and beat the living crap out of him.

It's not mature, but it sure feels good.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Not a XYOMH, but I suspect it's because milestones are also evaluation checkpoints, and he REALIZED he wanted to break up with her BECAUSE it was her birthday, and he did it as soon as it occurred to him.

In one way, jeez, that sucks. In another way, it's understandable that big things happen around milestones, and you don't want him to lie... It would have been more sensitive to wait a day, but I doubt he planned it maliciously.

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Although I do have a "friend" (an acquaintance with whome I'm currently annoyed) who deliberately broke up with his girlfriend after calling her and saying he was coming from four hours away to talk about something. She thought he was proposing; nono, he broke up with her AT HER NEW OFFICE - where's she's a LAWYER at her first job in a big firm, and her first major memory of the place she lives out of during the day is being dumped when she thought she was being proposed to. I'm glad they broke up instead of getting married when he had so many doubts, but that truly sucks, and I suspect it was partly a power trip. Jerk.

[ February 18, 2004, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
Yeah, that would be my job if it weren't for the fact that the guy is my friend too and has three or so years of being a black belt on me. I'm waiting to get mad at him until I hear the whole story...
 

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Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
Jenny, Ron does that too. I can't stand it. My house has been taken over by old electronic equipment AND the boxes that nearly everything we have came in.

It's insane. Stacks of old magazines, a pen shaped like a fish that doesn't work anymore, several ancient computers, guh I don't know what all. I say, "Lets get rid of this crap." He says, "We need a bigger house."
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
I won't let my wife get rid of the boxes things came in until I'm 100% sure the thing works like it's supposed to. There have been too many times where the box gets thrown out before trying the new toy out. Stores aren't cooperative about returns without the box.
 

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Posted by luthe (Member # 1601) on :
 
So you all think that he should have just lied to her instead. I suppose that might be the lesser of two evils, although it may just upset her more if she decides she was lied to
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
There is a BIG difference between lying and being tactful.
 

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Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
 
Not always - and not in this case.
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

quote:

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Yeah, that would be my job if it weren't for the fact that the guy is my friend too and has three or so years of being a black belt on me.

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• The link is possibly not safe for work.
• This above implies that it is potentially offensive.
• The link does not pornographic contain pictures, just words and a picture of a man's face
• The link does contian swear words, and some slang terms for various pieces of anatomy.
• If you are think you will be offenend don't click the link.
• I did not make you click the link.
• I make no claims about other pages at the site linked.
• Think before you click.

quote:

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BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!"
BRAIN: "Open flaps"
BRAIN: "Landing gear engaged"
BRAIN: "Disengage primary thrusters"
BRAIN: "Systems check"
ME: "You allright?"
WOMAN: "Uh....Yeah"
BRAIN: "No system damage"

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