Hatrack River Forum: I Need Help

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Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

[Frown]

For the last two months, my mouth has run away with my brain.

I can't seem to turn it off. (My mouth.)

How do I get some discipline back in thinking before I speak. What subtle things can I use to help me remember (in work situations) to just shut up and keep it to myself?

[Cry]

This is truly bothering me. (And probably my co-workers, as well.)

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

When you figure it out, let me know too.

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Hmmmm. That was not encouraging Taalcon. I want ANSWERS!!!!

(pauses)

I think the pause should have come before the response . . .

(sigh)

And the breathing, too?

[Confused]

How do people do that????

Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :

How 'bout counting to 5? (10 just gives too long of a pause..)

When I was doing mooting, we used to get in the habit of either taking a sip of water or flicking through our notes after a judge finished a question - it gave us enough time to compose ourselves and our answers so it sounded polished.

I guess that won't really work in a social or office situation - on the other hand, your water intake (and subsequent trips to the toilet) would increase!

(Edit: inconsistent use of plurals. Jon Boy has made me paranoid!)

[ February 28, 2004, 05:15 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Lightbulb goes on.

THAT'S why everyone in my office carries water to these interminable meetings!

Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :

Shan, there's a technique you can use for this type of problems. Here it is:

You make a two column table of days you go to work in. Then, for each day, at the end of it, you put the number of times you opened your BIG BAD MOUTH before going through your brain (<-- as i did just now), and in the other column, the number of times you wanted to say something bad, thought a little bit about it, and then said something else, better. In order for it to work better, write the first column in red, the second one in green - red is very irritating to see, so you wanting an entirely green column is going to be another reason for correcting your problem. If you REALLY want to solve this, it's gonna work in 3-4 weeks.

Hope that helps, both for you and Taalcon, it did for me with something else [Razz]

[Edited to correct Talcoon to Taalcon. Sorry [Big Grin]

]

[ February 29, 2004, 03:26 AM: Message edited by: Corwin ]

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Tally marks, Corwin?

(Nods thoughtfully. That'd give my jittery hands something to do, too.)

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

Actually, in my case, the interest is for a friend. Honestly.

Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :

Yeap, something like that... I think... [Big Grin]

Anyway, what you DON'T want to do is to add bonuses/punishments for the green/red numbers. If you do that, you'll soon become sick and tired of your method. On second thought, just bonuses could be nice [Big Grin]

Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :

Ah, I just remembered: I had this problem with one person who didn't quite like my jokes or my attitudes. I cared enough in order to control myself and not do it anymore. It might not be the same thing, as this was a friend of mine, not a co-worker, but the thing is: it worked !

Taalcon, what's your friend's problem, exactly ? And with whom ?

[Edited to correct Talcoon to Taalcon. Sorry [Big Grin]

]

[ February 29, 2004, 03:27 AM: Message edited by: Corwin ]

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

Take up smoking. Then, everytime you want to say something, take a nice long puff on your cigar. That should give you time enough to realize that what you want to say is inappropriate.

Of coures, the smoking will eventually kill you. Hey, telling the 300lb linebacker that his mother is ugly will get you killed a whole lot faster.

Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :

Cor:

First, there's only one O in my name. Two A's, One O. [Wink]

Second, the friend just will NEVER shut up. And If I'm not listening, they'll find the closest stranger to continue talking to.

Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :

Dan actually has a great suggestion. You just need something like either smoking or sipping water that will give you an excuse to pause before you speak.

My personal technique is scratching my chin. Everytime a coworker says something, I always scratch my chin and nod my head a little before I speak. I am therefore able to filter out gems like "You are SO getting fired" and "Like hell I want to go drinking with you as if I don't see enough of your ugly mug at work."

Of course, if only I could install a Hatrack filter so I stop offending people.... [Smile]

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

[ROFL]

You guys! "You are so fired" indeed -

I just gave up smoking - I very rarely have one (unless I visit my mom, in which case, they become life support) - besides, smoking is not allowed in government buildings. . . . water and tally marks it is - [Big Grin]