Between now and midnight Sunday, we will pun about the origin and descent with modification of species.
Prizes will be awarded for: - most original - most obscure - funniest - biggest groaner
and whatever else we can think of to make everyone feel good about participating.
And I'll kick it off with a little song:
♪Oh...there's a genome where Drosophila roams Where the genes and mutations all play...♫
♪Where seldom you'll feel The recessive allele, but the flies have white eyes anyway♫
♪Clones, clones in the lab...♫
Well, I think I've crossed a boundary here. Of course, it could just be that church just let out, which would be kind of a mass extinction. So, you think this is dumb? Well I'd like to see you genus' come up with anything better!
And now...go!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Oh, and I'm kind of divided on repeating yourself. Unless you're making a pun about self-replication, no cloning.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
We used to refer to the clogged roads near the Catholic Church on Sundays as the Mass Exodus. We thought we were so funny.
I don't have any evolution puns. Sorry.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Mass Exodus! LOL. I'm going to remember that one.
I don't know, Kayla, I've always thought you had a sabre-toothed wit.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Well, being a genus, I am convergent in the basics of the theory, with a descent understanding of the vocabulary. Consequently, I am well equipped to counter the species arguments of the haploid idiots.
That reminds me of a story. A man walks into a bar, clade only in a pair of genes. The bartender says, “Hey phyla, eustele trying to coelom in here without a shirt?”
Dagonee
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Bob, you know, the sad thing isn't that I had to explain that to my 13-year-old son, but that I had to explain it to my husband, living proof that Darwin was wrong.
[ April 02, 2004, 10:25 PM: Message edited by: Kayla ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Actually, Kayla, it's just that some of us are more evolved than others.
I think everyone is misunderstanding the purpose of this thread. Amino, what you can't just type a mutated word. You must recombine words to form new varieties. Try being specific too.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
You're going to have to explain further - I don't get what you're saying.
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
Dag, this isn't about evolution, but here is an example of a whole lot of puns.
quote: The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast-infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. [pun]The gravesite was piled high with flours[/pun]. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was [pun] kneaded[/pun]. Doughboy [pun]rose quickly[/pun] in show business, but his later life was filled with [pun]turnovers[/pun]. (You get the idea.) He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father!
[ April 02, 2004, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: Kayla ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Yes, I know what a pun is. I'm just wondering why the one's in my first post wouldn't qualify - am I missing one of the rules of this particular pun-off?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
bob,
I don't see too many puns here. Can I write a poem, assuming I could compose one?
fallow
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Dag!!! I LOVED your first post.
I was just punning!!!!
"Amino..."
"mutated"
"recombine"
"specific"
...um...sorry...
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*good stuff*
All the puns I can think of are a little out-there. morbid.
fallow
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Extincts in here. I'm putting my codon and going outside.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
polymErases and get's the hell oughta Dodge.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
e?q,u.i'li!b:ri;um.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
equatubrium. The "fallacy of the fat horses aligned in a row"
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I have an iron-clade argument against everything you've said here. I do have to say, though, that fallow and Dagonee are a base pair of posters.
Posted by AeroB1033 (Member # 6375) on :
I'd like to think that those of us with more evolved sensibilities would stop acting like apes and believing in such primordial theories, but alas, creationism is still treated as if it is at the bottom of the slime pool containing the speculations on man's rise.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
OK, Bob, I couldn't tell - it was late, there'd been a little wine, the rest of the sordid details write themselves...
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Don't think it qualifies as a pun exactly, but it was darn funny and I'll try to buy some time with it while I think of evolution puns.
I was describing my research (on proteins associated with neurodegenerative diseases like alzheimer's, BSE, cruetzfeld-jakob, etc) to a friend and commented that the closest homolog of human prion protein is "doppel", a sperm protein. Moreover, there seems to be some link between these other dementia-related proteins and testicular or sperm proteins.
my friend replied, "So should I worry about getting ballzheimers?"
*rimshot*
fallow
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I knew it! Cases of male stupidity can be attributed to guys thinking with their reproductive organs...
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
I'm a poli-sci major, so all this witty scientific puns are all Greek to me. I guess something is lost in transcription. Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm suprised no-one has yet made a pun on the mechanism of evolution itself. It'd seem to be the natural selection.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
bob, that's Lamarkable!
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Ha! Fallow, you and Bob are in a neck and neck race for the funniest puns.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
This thread is mutating into something pretty random.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Gene cruised through the bottleneck and plowed straight into a drift.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Random? Nah. This thread seems pretty anti-entropic to me. By the way, does the winner get the Darwin award?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Gene left the car in Neutral and opted to piggyback on the Red Queen express.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Variety is the splice of life.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, Did you select the point of this thread naturally? Liz
Edit: D'Oh. Sorry, Bob, I made a repeat.
[ April 04, 2004, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think I've finally found my niche.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I don't think so, Bob. I don't think you are fit enough.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, I think people are adapting quite well to this thread, but your puns are definitely dominant. It is your area of specialization, for sure.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Ouch! I think I've hit a dead end. I wanted to post the url to a website of bad evolution puns, but every time I hit "Add Reply" I look and the thing is gone. It's the missing link.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, Is it fair for you to be part of this competition?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
You know, when Darwin created evolution, he was only monkeying around.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I'm terrible at puns and I know relatively little about evolution so I'm not even going to try, but on my travels I discovered a cartoon I thought was funny...
Teshi, I think you are using that excuse as a kind of pangea for all your pun-making ills.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I plan to win this contest by the sheer overpopulation of my posts.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
This might not be strictly on topic since evolution depends on fertilization but my aren't we a lively crew of cunning linguists.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
We do seem to have a very mutualistic relationshiop, that's for sure/
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think my hatrack family has taken divergent paths. If you have any more puns like this, I respectfully suggest you phylum. Might want to put them in order first. That would show a little class.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I feel I must apologize. I believe I have headed this thread in a base direction.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Cute, Punwit. As if we don't know you are a mutation of Bob Scopatz.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Really, Bob, do you think dividing yourself will help you win the contest?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm reminded of my older sibling, who, if he were actually female instead, would be meiosis.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, Bob, you are really getting zy gote.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, don.t you need to go polish some chrome o' some thing?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
As far as I know I'm not twinned, mutated or otherwise associated with Bob. I just felt that perhaps I had overstepped the bounds of decorum for this site although it wasn't below me to place a pun in my apology. I'd like to be found fit to survive here.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
That was pretty descent. I'd also like to point out that we're now crossed over to the next page. I expect a lot of fertile discussion from here on in.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Perhaps my lack of breeding lead to my poor post.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
One more like that, and we'll have to put you in a cell.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Or perhaps flogged with di staff.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I don't know whether to question punwit or try to outdo him. It's the classic dilemma: polymerase.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
What's your question? I know I'm not strictly adhering to the evolution theme, sorta sideways to it, but fire away.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Gah!!! I was setting up the last pun!!!!
Poll him or race...
Gah!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Bob, I'm new so forgive me if I messed things up. I'm not sure what poll him or race means. Once again sorry.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Down to two participants only? Looks like the herd has thinned out quite a bit.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
No,no, the thread is not endangered, not to worry. I was just eating dinner. Unfortunately, I burned the sauce, and extinct.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Pow, hand to forehead, duh. Poll him or race polymerace. Jeesh I'm slow.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
punwit...I was going "GAH" because my pun failed, not because you didn't get it.
Polymerase -- poll him or race... Weak, I know.
It's anaphase I'm going through... Can't we just mend-el our division?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I not going to actually compete, but polymerase is probably in the lead for the biggest stretch of a pun...
I'm not announcing the winners yet, but we're running out of time if someone truly wants to beat some of the earlier entries. I'm still laughing over some of them...
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, crap! I hope you are not going to charge a taxonomy for being a contestant! That would be bloomin' predatory!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, I just read your last post. I just finished dinner and I'm stuffed so my laughter is muted
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I'd like to join this common descent into chaos.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm beginning to suspect I haven't mounted a sufficient opposition
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
There is a tax Oh dear me!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Our cousin Jen is very rude. We are trying to teach our Jen etiquette, but she is such a parasite!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
You all just flora me. I'm fauna all over you. Eukaryon much more like this and I'll know we're just going to helix in a handbasket.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The boss says to his new secretary, “Take these papers and phylum.” As she leaves he Scopes her out. Meanwhile, the mail boy from Port-Au-Prince can’t say anything – he’s a mutation. But he’s polite and helps the secretary put her codon before she goes outside in the cold.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dag, It has been eons since we've heard from you!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, I am going dormant for the night. I can't wait to see what dna says about this thread, Bob. You should make sure to please your mate.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I feel we've hit a lull. Can someone please punctuate this equilibrium?
Posted by Honk if you......... (Member # 6412) on :
are going for the obscure-
Day One Bang – Asteroid Bad Day For Big Lizards Mammals rule the Earth Adam shares the apple Eve screams like a banshee in birth
Scopes vs Newdow Monkey vs Earth
A Blink
Mitosis, mitosis, where for art thou mitosis
*Hiyagfto*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Uh, Bob? It is way past midnight. The contestants are waiting... My sister is so clumsy. She stepped on my toe, and I yelled: "That was my toe, Sis!!!"
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Liz
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Just fyi, the judges are locked in deliberations and cannot be disturbed.
Look for final tallies sometime later this evening.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
(you probably set this up on purpose, but here goes)
This evening! I can't wait that long to find out who's gone Dar-win!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
No! Don't reward his procrastination with more puns!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
@#$@#$$ JEff, I wanted to be Darwin-er, but you stole the pun out from under me. Mytosis going to be lodged upside your head for that theft.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
people are coming and going into this thread like crazy. It's like there's an evolving door or something.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Evolving door? Did it start as a window and evolve into a door? Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
If Bob erases the title of this thread, that will be the ultimate pun without words.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Or the punultimate one.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
You can't get away with delaying the results with impunity.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Yeah! Denying us the fruits of our labor flies in the face of the competition.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The genesis of this decision takes some time to evolve, about 6 days, and one to rest, but it seems to go on for eons.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Or it could be completely spontaneous.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, maybe Bob is just too domesticated now to handle all this.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Woo... that's worth TWO smackdown points in my book.
Domesticated, like doing husbandry duties?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, perhaps, but I hope Dana doesn't select his tasks artificially.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Hmmm, makes you wonder what "locked in deliberations" actually means, doesn't it?
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
This thread has evolved nicely since its creation. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Actually, I think there are some on this thread who have shown poor breeding.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I guarantee this one will make you laugh jurassic off.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, AfR, get a half-life!
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
Don't pick on AFR. He has a radium personality.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, his behavior adapts well to many situations. I think he will survive the fit test.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Best sounding pun goes to Annie for:
quote:Extincts in here. I'm putting my codon and going outside.
Funniest pun goes to fallow for:
quote:bob, that's Lamarkable!
Best joke that wasn't a pun goes to Kayla for:
quote:You know, when Darwin created evolution, he was only monkeying around.
Best building block goes to punwit for:
quote:I feel I must apologize. I believe I have headed this thread in a base direction
Biggest stretch and biggest groaner -- a two-fisted award -- goes to Elizabeth for:
quote:Bob, don.t you need to go polish some chrome o' some thing?
Best run-on pun, long form, Dagonee for:
quote:The boss says to his new secretary, “Take these papers and phylum.” As she leaves he Scopes her out. Meanwhile, the mail boy from Port-Au-Prince can’t say anything – he’s a mutation. But he’s polite and helps the secretary put her codon before she goes outside in the cold.
tied with Dagonee for:
quote:Well, being a genus, I am convergent in the basics of the theory, with a descent understanding of the vocabulary. Consequently, I am well equipped to counter the species arguments of the haploid idiots.
Best use of a colloquialism in pun form goes to vwiggin for:
quote:Looks like the herd has thinned out quite a bit.
In descent exposure award goes to Shigosei for:
quote:I'd like to join this common descent into chaos
Darwin award for the best use of Darwin's name goes to jehovoid for:
quote:I can't wait that long to find out who's gone Dar-win!
...but with honorable mention to Dan_Raven for:
quote:, I wanted to be Darwin-er, but you stole the pun out from under me. Mytosis going to be lodged upside your head for that theft.
Stephen Jay Gould award, fallow for:
quote:I feel we've hit a lull. Can someone please punctuate this equilibrium?
(note, this was posted at midnight Central time and thus qualified for consideration.)
Most confusing goes to Honk if you..... for:
quote:Day One Bang – Asteroid Bad Day For Big Lizards Mammals rule the Earth Adam shares the apple Eve screams like a banshee in birth
Scopes vs Newdow Monkey vs Earth
A Blink
Mitosis, mitosis, where for art thou mitosis
*Hiyagfto*
Congratulations to all you winners out there. Judges decisions are final, unless you have lots of cash.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
There are no winners in evolution, only survivors.
You're a great host Bob, the check is in the mail.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Oh, I really liked Shigosei's
quote: e?q,u.i'li!b:ri;um.
as the joke that wasn't a pun. Or what do you call those things? They probably have some name that only the more than 42% nerds know.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Thanks Bob. That was a real pleasure.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, Bob, you are a very good host.
Or is that...parasite, I forget?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Actually, I'd rather be known as a fungi.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Yes Bob, thanks for running the contest. But really - mutation for mute Haitian wasn't the biggest groaner? I field tested it and literally got groans from people.
Dagonee
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
"Polymerase" from Bob should've at least gotten honorable mention for biggest stretch and groaner, if not the actual award.
And of course, the award for biggest groin stretcher (a two-fisted award) goes to Pop, even though he didn't have a hand in the contest.
(I wonder if he would've used evil-lotion.)
[ April 06, 2004, 01:59 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I hate to be a spoil-spore, I mean Bob may be a Fungi, but these puns have mushroomed out of all proportion.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Waiter, something's crawling out of my primordal soup.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"And of course, the award for biggest groin stretcher (a two-fisted award) goes to Pop,"
That prize is mine, and the judge said there is no changing his mind. Just because I am higher on the food chain is no reason to try and take away my just rewords.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Spelling error? Surely you mean your jest rewards.
(edited to appear slightly more clever)
[ April 06, 2004, 05:37 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
No, I meant just rewords, because many pus are rewordings, but I am kicking myself for missing "Jest."
I was talking to the kids in math class today. They were really being obstinate, so I really had to work hard to sell division.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Dagonee really did deserve an award for this one:
quote:Meanwhile, the mail boy from Port-Au-Prince can’t say anything – he’s a mutation.
Even if it was buried inside of a post that also got an award, and was sandwiched between two layers of repeats stolen from others.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, all puns aside for just one second, thanks for a contest where nerds can shine.
We have to be nerdy at so many levels to want to be here.
I remember pun-offs with you and Dan, and i can't even remember what the original thread was. We are like flies on, um, poo.
It is so great to see you happy. Last year, I was sending you cathartic music, and this year I am sending you love songs. Way cool. Dna is a lucky woman, as you are a lucky man.(sorry, could not resist that one)
Thanks to all the participants, also. As Joe says in Great Expectations:
"What larks, Pip!"
Actually sincerely,
Liz
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Liz, I know. I edited mine from "words" to "wards" in the interest of variety.
So, can we play again?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Elizabeth, did you write that whole post for that one pun, or was it just a typo.
Under Genetic Puns:
quote: Dna is a lucky woman
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dan, how could you think such a thing of me?
It was a serious post, though I could not help leaving the "a" out of "Dana," since I got absolutely no credit from Bob for that joke in a previous post.
I think we can only do the Pun Smackdown again if Bob is the host(didn't say that on purpose), because otherwise, he would win all the categories.
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![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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Liz
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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