He's three and he's been losing his cups. Anytime I give him a drink he carries off the cup immediately and loses it, and then when he begs for something to drink, we can't find it. This repeats until he has used at least six, and that is way too many in my opinion.
Do you think it's going too far for me to tell him that if he can't find his cup when he gets thirsty, he doesn't get anything to drink? (There would still be drinks with meals.) Or maybe say that he can't have anything except water if he loses it?
He's smarter than this and it's not beyond his grasp. Well over a year ago he was very capable of remembering where he left his cup...it's only recently that he can't (or won't) find it.
I'm tired of washing six or eight cups a day just for one kid, or finding cups a week later with hardened milk curds in them. I've tried keeping the drinks at the table but it doesn't work because his baby sister is allowed to carry hers around. (These are cups with lids, by the way.)
I'm getting quite annoyed.
[ April 09, 2004, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
follow him one time and see exactly what he does with it. then when it's obvious that he's left the cup for dead, remind him about his responsibility to the cup. He has to take care of the cup because the cup is too little to take care of itself. Give him some responsibility, make him feel like a grown up with a job to do.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Yes, but if the baby sister doesn't lose HER cups, then your son could be stuck at the table with his cup until he can prove that he won't lose it.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I've tried that but he loses them in a different place every time.
edit: that was for odouls
[ April 07, 2004, 08:10 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
the little girl in Signs left cups everywhere and that ended up saving the lives of her family...think about it.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
Have you tried rewarding him first?
Maybe the first couple of times he brings back the cup, give him a small treat, like a cookie.
Slowly move away from material rewards and give him hugs, compliments, etc.
At his age, if you stopped giving him cups, he will just drink out of the toilet (I know I would). Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Not a realistic solution, but it was the first thing that came to my mind: Attach the cup to the child with elastic or something. Then you'll always find the two together.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
How about only confine his drinking to the table after he loses his cup for the day? 3 is old enough to process that, and it let's him maintain his cup-roaming privileges if he really cares about it.
Dagonee
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
I used to make CR drink in front of me, and then I would put the cup away.
Oh, and I only give CR milk at dinnertime, because of the curd factor.
*shudder*
I wouldn't take drinks away from him totally (except for meals), if I were you. Just make him drink it in front of you. CR dehydrates really easily though (his dad's genes, sez I!), so YMMV.
I feel your pain. *grin*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You could make a rule that he has to drink in the kitchen only.
Or...
You could get one of those beeping finding things that I gave to my husband, that someone here gave a link to. They are little keychain-like things(comes with 4) and you push a button and it beeps, like the phone. We have two on the channel changers, and one on each set of keys.
It won't help the behavior, but will help you find the cups.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Maybe you should attach the cup to a phone cord line. You know, the stretchy kind?
You know, I don't even know if I'm joking or not.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
When he asks for a drink, say "okay, go get me your cup." in a sweet and friendly voice.
He'll have to search for it a few times, but eventually he'll just get the hang of it, I assume.
Or he'll throw a tantrum and you'll have to hose him down. Which will take care of both the drink problem and the lack of cup problem.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Maybe you should attach the cup to a phone cord line. You know, the stretchy kind?
I'm having visions of the kid walking to far with the cup and going flying.
It's funny if the vision is a cartoon.
Dagonee
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dag, It's funny even if it weren't a cartoon. I just have to admit that.
Actually, Bob's idea is the best. "Go get your cup." If he can;t find it, he sites and has a drink at the table.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Doesn't that have the same net effect as what I said earlier?
"Hello. Hello. Is this thing on?"
Posted by AeroB1033 (Member # 6375) on :
I'd tell him that if he loses a cup, he can only have water for the rest of the day.
But then, I'm a bit of a jerk *wink*
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Elizabeth you liked the beepers? They are from sharper image.
I think that witholding drinks to a 3 year old for ANY reason is cruel. Kids need nutrition, liquid, and a feeling of safety and security. Punishment through the use of something healthy and normal for a child seems too much to me. I think buying 50 paper cups a week is a better solution, albeit not a very good one.
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
We had cats when I was a kid. The cats were constantly stealing the baby bottles and sippy cups. I don't know if you have animals, but it's something to consider if you do have critters.
I like the idea of telling him to go get the cup, then if he doesn't bring it to you, have him have his drink in the kitchen.
I'm a big believer in teaching through natural consequences, so I'd take away all but one of his sippy cups, and let him know that when that one is MIA he has to use an open cup and drink in the kitchen.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Many "problem" behaviors are readily solved through some environmental adjustments, particularly at the preschool ages when it is difficult to stay centered in the "here and now" and keep track of things.
Food and beverages belong in the kitchen or at the table. For little people, we say it simply:
"We drink at the table" (or sink, or wherever the chosen spot happens to be.) We back that simple rule up that with verbal observation and reinforcement, delivered in a non-judgemental manner.
"Oh, I see you taking your cup to the living room. Let's go back to the kitchen and sit down."
Save the big guns/punitive effort for when the child revisits the toddler years as a teen-ager.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Always need to save the charge on the cattle prods.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
I like LadyDove's suggestion.
Another idea would be to get disposable cups at the dollar store, then say something like, "I only give milk/juice to kids who drink in the kitchen. I give water to anyone who asks."
If he opts for milk or juice, you could ask him to choose which glass he'd like it in (if you're like me, you have several types), and which corner of the kitchen he'd like to sit in, and whether he'd like to sit on the floor with his feet straight out or his legs criss-cross applesauce. Offering lots of little, meaningless (to you) choices will help him feel like he gets back the control he used to have when you still let him wander around with his cup outside the kitchen.
If he opts for water, give him some in one of the disposable cups, and no fun games with choices.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Cattle prods . . . I like that approach, mack-
Do you suppose it works . . . Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I don't think the little key beepers would survive the dishwasher, and putting them on and taking them off each time would be too much of a pain. No, what you need is something that takes even more work. That's right, put a magnetizied stip inside the platic of each cup (should be no problem, just melt the plasitic down, then cast into a mold again with the magnet already inside). Then put scanners on each doorway that automatically catch the magnetic entering, acess a data base that tracks the number of cups in each room (which you intially set to all being in the kitchen) and updates the number of cups in that room. Then when you need a cup simply look up the database for the closest room with a cup, take out a metaldetector and search the room with it until you find the cup.
Problem solved.
Hobbes Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
Follow him around with the cup, and when you see him carelessly place it somewhere, just fire a gun into the ceiling. The rest is up to Pavlov. Or an expensive psychiatrist.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
Heh. Engineers.
Ni!
Posted by ssywak (Member # 807) on :
Permanently glue the cup to his forehead. That way he can never lose it.
Oh, and you'll also have to get one of those long, bendy straws.
Posted by ssywak (Member # 807) on :
Well, that, or RFID.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: We had cats when I was a kid. The cats were constantly stealing the baby bottles and sippy cups. I don't know if you have animals, but it's something to consider if you do have critters.
That's really weird. Would they pick the stuff up in their jaws and carry it away?
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I second the idea of allowing food and drink only at the kitchen table. Our three year old understands that pretty well and doesn't try to bring a cup anywhere.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Sorry it took me so long to respond...I shall do so now.
quote: Have you tried rewarding him first?
I kinda thought that if he's thirsty, then wouldn't the drink be a reward? Or are you not supposed to reward with things they need anyway?
quote: When he asks for a drink, say "okay, go get me your cup." in a sweet and friendly voice.
This is what I do, so far.
quote: I don't know if you have animals, but it's something to consider if you do have critters.
The only critter we have is his sister. She HAS lost his cup a couple of times, but it's usually his fault.
quote: Food and beverages belong in the kitchen or at the table.
See, I always assumed that I would do it this way, but then I moved to Tucson. Believe it or not, it is actually necessary for kids under five to have a constant source of fluid going into their bodies, particularly in late Spring and Summer, because it's 110 degrees and like 2% humidity, and they dehydrate EXTREMELY quickly. I do keep food at the table and they aren't allowed to walk around carrying it. But if I kept drinks at the table, they would literally sit at the table all day.
quote: How about only confine his drinking to the table after he loses his cup for the day?
I know several people said some version of this and I think it's what we're going to do. He may very well have to sit at the table all day if he loses his cup, but I think after about one or two days of it he'll learn to keep track of the cup.
quote: Permanently glue the cup to his forehead. That way he can never lose it
Or drink from it.
Thanks for helping me think through this, guys. I had a similar problem when my son was eighteen months old and kept losing his pacifiers. That was easier to fix, though, because I just told him that once he lost the last one, I wasn't buying any more. And that's exactly what happened, about one week later. Too bad I can't refuse to ever buy him another cup. Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I'd say don't give him anything but water if he's free to leave the kitchen. It's kind of dangerous for him to find juice or milk that's been fermenting for who knows how long. How do you spell reisty? I miss that word. I hope it doesn't mean something worse that I mean.
Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
Stormy- The cats would grab the bottle by the nipple and drag it to a quiet place, then gnaw off the nipple to drink the milk. The sippy cups were usually knocked off a table and rolled under the table or couch- ::shrugs::I guess they licked the tops, but I can't imagine that they got much out of these.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
pooka, that's a really good point about the drink spoiling and still being available to him.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: It's kind of dangerous for him to find juice or milk that's been fermenting for who knows how long.
Ummm, guys. My son is three. He's not going to sit there and feast on rancid milk curds.
Let me say that he once found and old cup, tentatively tasted it, and started crying. "It's yucky milk!" he said. He doesn't drink what's in the old cups. (That drop on his tongue wasn't enough to make him ill, BTW.)
[ April 08, 2004, 12:47 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
They sell really cool water bottles with clips at REI, they are only about $5. Clip it to his belt and allow only water. I only allow milk with breakfast and juice with lunch, water the rest of the time.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Why don't you just get him a stillsuit? He'd still have to drink juice and milk out of a cup, but at least he'd always have a watersource handy.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I feel your pain, we go through this too.
Of course, restricting my kids to just water the rest of the day doesn't work - they like water, they ask for it!
I have recently begun allowing them to have water anytime they want it, they have to go get it themselves. They can get a cup (plastic) and get water from the refrigerator door. However, since these cups have no tops, they must keep their water in the kitchen.
They do still occasionally want juice or milk and they'll get it, but only if they provide a cup first. They get one a day, and I make a note of remembering which one it is, so if one pulls a cup out of the dishwasher and says it's his or hers I can say "No, yours is the one with the red top - go find it."
Sometimes they'll give up and just get water. Sometimes they'll actually find the cup. Sometimes they'll get water and then find the cup and bring it to me and then proclaim the water is "old" and now can they have juice.
You just gotta go with what works. Good luck.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
When I was 3 or so, I became convinced that someone was trying to poison me. My primary suspects were the ghosts that I believed inhabited the house, or my parents. Honestly, I have no idea where I got that from (although I have to suspect my older brother). As a result of this paranoia, I was very careful with where my cup was at all times. I generally carried it around with me from room to room, and if I forgot and let it out of my sight for any length of time, I'd refuse to drink out of it, for fear that it had been poisoned. Of course, I never told my parents that that was why I wouldn't drink from the cup--if they were the ones poisoning me, I didn't want them to know that I was onto them.
For some reason it never occurred to me that my mother cooked all of my meals, and could have put any manner of poison she chose into my food.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote: I do keep food at the table and they aren't allowed to walk around carrying it. But if I kept drinks at the table, they would literally sit at the table all day.
Then withholding drinks is, obviously, not a good solution.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
HOw do you know he doesn't like fermented juices, though?
Noemon- Stillsuit
The other day I began to wonder if my son whines a lot because he's never been to the dentist. Remembering every time I've been impatient with him just struck me with horror at myself. (he just turned 4).
Anyway, there isn't a solution that will take less time/patience/money to resolve the situation. I'd make a great salesman, neh?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
What about those super cheap disposable waterbottles with sports lids? THey have them at costco and sam's. It doesn't matter if they get lost, and once you find them they can be washed and reused at your leisure. THey also hold larger quantities of water than a normal sippy, with less leakage. I don't think I would give him anything but water though if he is wandering. IF he wants juice or milk he should stay in the kitchen.
AJ
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Banna, I LOVE the beepers. Except, on the first day we had it, we lost the beeper base. So, we might need to get a beeper for the beeper base. And then a beeper for the beeper for the beeper base, and then...
By the way, though I know Noemon was joking, they do have those camel packs for your back, with a straw, fo r people who hike and mt. bike. It is kind of like a still suit. I wonder if they make them for youngsters?
(I mean for outside-in-the-desert play, not for house use)
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: Why don't you just get him a stillsuit?
Because I am disgusted by the concept of stillsuits. *shudder*
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Then there's the hat with the cans mounted on the sides, and a straw coming down to the lips.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I have to admit though, after I posted, I thought of the CamelBak. We used to live in AZ, too, and dehydration was a hayuge problem for hubby (as I wrote before). CamelBak saved his life during PT (Army exercise, mandatory, every day)!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oooh, the hat-can idea! I had forgotten about those. Now THAT is something a three year-old could get into.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
Blackhawk! is less expensive and just as well (or maybe even better) made.
Posted by ssywak (Member # 807) on :
quote:
quote: Permanently glue the cup to his forehead. That way he can never lose it
Or drink from it.
Well, duh! He would have to stand on a chair!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Ooooh, that Hydrostorm stuff is cool! Remind me to order one of their systems after I've gotten my robotic exoskeleton.
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