I am bringing this up after reading the "living together" thread. I didn't want to derail that thread.
I am a child of divorce (my parents were divorced when I was about 3 1/2). There is a book I read that some of you might find interesting. It is about children of divorced parents and parents who should have divorced, but stayed together "for the sake of the children." Below is a link to the book and an article. The book is no longer available. I think I have an extra copy if anyone is interested in reading it.
I saw quite a bit of myself reading this book. You can ask Pop, I really don't like conflict, and will do anything in my power to avoid it.
Does anyone else have thoughts on legal versus emotional divorce in families?
-Mama
<edited for stupid spelling errors>
[ April 08, 2004, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Mama Squirrel ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I feel like they're basically the same. Staying married should include the heart as well as the mind. Just living together isn't good enough.
That said, I believe that ALL divorce is wrong and should be avoided.
(You know, every time I type something like that, I feel like all the people at Hatrack who have been divorced are thinking I'm an idealistic child.)
Posted by The Digital Man (Member # 6427) on :
Being an Idealist is wonderful...until you just get out into the real world and find you're pretty much destined to suffer <bitter laughter>
I'm being a little tongue-in-cheek, but also a little serious here... I do find Idealism to be beautiful, powerful, and wholesome. I strive for it myself. It's the harder way, but the better one, IMO.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
All divorce? Even with spousal abuse?
Posted by The Digital Man (Member # 6427) on :
And, Mama Squirrel, thanks for the "Rec"... I think it might have a lot to say to my wife, in particular.
Edit: apologies MS... I'm not sure why I got you two confused there...
[ April 08, 2004, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: The Digital Man ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Oops, my bad.
I shouldn't have assumed they were givens...I would consider physical abuse and adultery okay reasons to divorce, if someone wanted to use them. I'm not sure I would, but I haven't been there yet.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Of course it's bad, even with spousal abuse. It's bad that somebody has to get divorced because of spusal abuse.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
I don't think you're an idealistic child.
My folks were divorced when I was one. My husband & I divorced when our kids were 5, 3, and 1.
Divorce is not good. Sometimes staying together is worse, but divorce is not ever good. Everyone hurts.
But sometimes it is the lesser of two evils.
Farmgirl
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I started and abandonded several posts on the "Living Together" thread before I just decided I don't have anything to contribute there. So thanks for making this thread for me.
I'm also a doormat prone to sudden bouts of anger. My parents' divorce stretched from when I was 14 until I was 21 and married myself. (They separated and reconciled a few times).
P.S. It was one of the ideas I kind of worked on a little for my third Landmark, but it's still really paralyzing for me.
[ April 08, 2004, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Mama, that article was interesting. What was interesting to me was that it didn't mention how LeAnn allowed herself be used, with explorations for why she did that.
Lots of truth in that article. Thanks for posting it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am forty.
In the past three years, no less than six of my very dear friends have gotten, or are in the process of getting, a divorce. it seems to be "the thing" at our age.
Each situation is different. No situation is less painful than another.
I would never presume to judge whether divorce is wrong. Ever. It is not easy, and it is not a cop-out. It is the pain of death, but with the person still alive. I hope and pray and work very hard not to ever have to experience that.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)