(If this has already been posted, don't tell me and pretend it's the first time you've seen it.)
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
hee hee...
I'm watching FOTR right now.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I watched Two Towers last night.
quote:Elrond's character was clearly based on Agent Smith from the Matrix
Thank you Ralphie!
Posted by LOVE AND PEACE (Member # 6455) on :
heh, funny. i like his other articles more though. and his 'apology' rocked.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Ooooh - an enslaved California Grape. Makes it all worth-while, Belle. Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Half of these are completely ridiculous. To the point of no longer being funny. Some are good, but others such as:
quote: Homage or theft II?
The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.
are awful. Umm, that's nice. Too bad LOTR came before Harry Potter! Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
*hopes Ralphie doesn't really think LOTR sucks*
*may have to find someone else to stalk*
Ralphie, you do realize I'm just kidding, right?
*puts lid back on trash can and walks away, whistling innocently*
Some of those 50 points were pretty funny.
[ April 25, 2004, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: Derrell ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Raia - It's parody, sweetie. It's not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.
Derell - It's about TIME someone stalked me 4 rills. I was beginning to think I was completely unstalkable material.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
You, unstalkable? Perish the thought. By the way, is there someone in your life who might object to you being stalked? You know, a boyfriend, husband, significant other.
Ralphie
Posted by John L (Member # 6005) on :
quote:12. Return of the Living Dead.
In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.
13. Did someone say plot hole?
Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.
14. The Battle Droid Syndrome.
The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective fighters, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French.
I'm convinced.
Posted by SoberTillNoon (Member # 6170) on :
Umm, I think that guy just has a little too much free time on his hands. I mean, it is a fantisy movie. There is a little area for the supernatural in a movie about magic.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
To reiterate.
It's parody. It's not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Holy crap. Hatrack has been infected by the serious. I think it needs a strong dose of the funny.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Oh come on, Primal Curve. We're just serious fans defending our serious fandom. This guy is a freaking moron omigosh.
Also, rings do not turn you invisible.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
You're right, Annie.
Let's send a letter of protest to the writer.
WE CANNOT STAND 4 THIS!!1
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
quote:Why couldn't Gandalf have been played by Bruce Campbell?
You know, I've often wondered that myself. Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
you folks that didn't get the intentional absurdity... you should be ashamed of yourselves!
tres-funny, ralphie. thanks for linking. (btw, i typed "ralphia" first, and corrected it. What do you think, ralphia?)
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Sure, that was pretty funny. 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix, however, is hysterical.
quote: 19. The Matrix: Reconsidered, 4
You've worked as a policeman your whole life, protecting the innocent, enforcing the law. You retire with honors, then take a job as a security guard, working the metal detector on the ground floor of a skyscraper in order to help pay for your wife's arthritis medication. You're sitting there, on a slow day, reading your newspaper, when a girl walks in wearing a trenchcoat. She issues no demands, no warnings, no "freeze" or "drop your gun." She just tears you in half with a spray of machine-gun fire, then does cartwheels along the walls while killing all your friends.
Somewhere, faintly, you can hear a theater audience cheering.
Posted by Sal (Member # 3758) on :
Ralphie, I can't believe you put a link to something so defamatory of LOTR on Hatrack! Don't you know we're all fans here? So what if the movies have been made into books? Actually, I seriously suggest you read those, it might help you understand the movies after all! Gah!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I have to agree with one thing - every movie can be made better by adding a character played by Bruce Cambpell!
Dagonee
Posted by SoberTillNoon (Member # 6170) on :
Well, it is not even parody. It is in no way, shape, or form funny. It is downright stupid. The amount of times it is self contradictory is insane. I CANNOT TAKE IT!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Doctor, doctor! We need an emergency sense of humor infusion stat!
Posted by Sal (Member # 3758) on :
Actually, there was this person trying to tell me the other day that some sort of LOTR story had been around BEFORE the movies came out, you just had to know where to look for it. How stupid is that?
I mean how could anybody POSSIBLY come up with all these great creatures and geographies and ideas and plot twists BEFORE having seen the movie?
Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
quote: Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?
There actually is a sixth Rocky movie in the works. Wild eh? Of course, I, a Rocky lover, will be referring to this sixth Rocky movie as Rocky Five, since the fetid conglomeration of goat dung that has been masquerading as Rocky five is little more than a fetid conglomeration of goat dung.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
quote:Fellowship of the Rings and Two Towers were shoved down our throats.
I've heard some students are even forced to read some novelization of the movie in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?
Hello? The books came out about half a century before the movies, get your facts straight bud.
quote:Greed.
Hollywood can't make a movie these days without crapping out a sequel the next year to squeeze more money out of the sheep. Guess what; there's ANOTHER LOTR movie coming this Christmas. Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?
::sigh:: That is the way the author wrote them, in three parts, it has nothing to with money. It would have been too hard to release them all in one.
quote:They switched Darrens on us!
Look closely in Fellowship and you'll notice the human member of their party is played by two different actors at different points of the movie (it takes a sharp eye to notice, but one of them has red hair, one black).
Oh my god, this guy is so dense. There are two completely diffrent human characters played by two completely diffrent actors.
quote:Racism.
Percentage of protagonists in Fellowship who are white: 100. Meanwhile the black antagonists and their black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?
Now you're just being silly. It's supposed to be based on England in the Middle Ages. There weren't a whole load of black people back then. And darkness and black colours have always been associated with evil.
quote:Gold: The Stretchy Element.
The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.
Yes! IT IS A MAGICAL WORLD!
quote:Violence.
Give me one reason that story couldn't have been told without all the fighting.
Fair enough, perhaps that did set a bad example.
quote:Return of the Living Dead.
In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.
Peter Jackson just made it look like they were being stabbed to add suspense. You then see the wraiths ripping off the bed sheets to reveal the hobbits weren't actually there, but in another room across the street.
quote:Did someone say plot hole?
Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.
Haha, wise guy. That's not a plot hole at all.
quote:Sloppy CGI.
Gandalf's smoke boat at Bilbo's party is pretty impressive, but smoke cannot be made to travel horizontally, thus revealing it to be nothing but a cheap special effect.
AGAIN IT IS A MAGICAL WORLD!
quote:The Asbestos Wizard.
We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing in part 1. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel Two Towers, Gandalf is back. Perhaps it was voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II (look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WAB films).
There's just so much wrong with this one. As I've said before the books were written HALF A CENTURY BEFORE THE MOVIES WERE MADE. Gandalf was ALWAYS planned to be in the sequels, it had nothing to do with his action figure sales.
quote:Invisible Implausibility.
Every time Frodo or Bilbo went invisible with the ring they should have also gone BLIND. Your eyes cannot function unless light is reflected off the cornea. If light passes through it (as must be the case with invisibility) sight is no longer possible. Also, rings do not turn you invisible.
MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD!
quote:The Asbestos Wizard, II.
The giant fire beast thing at the end of part 1 was breathing a firey breath hot enough to send heat-distortion waves through the air. The sheer temperature of the air should have burned off Gandalf's beard and eyebrows. None of my reading on evolutionary biology reveals a single reason why a particular race of humans would develop unflammable facial hair as this would provide practically no advantage in either survival or mating.
MAGIC!
quote:I'll have to rent that one.
The rushed-through story the screenwriter threw in as the first ten minutes of Fellowship of the Ring looked a lot more interesting than the movie we were forced to watch. Why didn't somebody make a movie off that instead?
Maybe you should go read it instead, you idiot. It's called The Hobbit.
quote:Magic Mechanics.
Experts on the occult say in order for a wizard to floorspin a fully-grown man like Gandalf, he'd need three magical staffs, not two.
I have trouble believing someone like you would do any research into the matter full stop.
quote:Finders, keepers.
So Bilbo, who we are supposed to identify with as a protagonist, finds a piece of someone else's jewelry and just keeps it for himself? That's funny, because I would expect a good man to submit it to the local Lost and Found so it could be claimed by its owner. It makes me wonder if he bought that hillside house or if he was just squatting.
Uuuhh, that's funny, I didn't know they had local Lost and Founds in the middle of an orc-infested mountain!
quote:Go-Go Gadget Arrow Sprouter.
Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.
Is it, perhaps, possible that he picked up the arrows he shot? They wouldn't have been too hard to find inside the skull of an orc.
quote:Watch out! He's going to explode!
The heroes are shown eating again and again, and yet no one ever goes to the bathroom throughout their entire quest.
What!? They don't show every single little detail!
quote:Meesa gonna make theesa movie suckah!
The character of Gollum in The Two Towers was entirely computer animated (a cheap effort to cash in on Jar Jar Binks Mania) but was just a dim shadow of George Lucas' effort. Thank you, Peter Jackson. Thank you right to Hell.
Jar Jar Binks Mania? What the heck?
quote:Speaking of Elves...
Elves are beautiful and wise and tall? Great warriors? Makers of fine lightweight weapons? Our modern knowledge of elves has observed only an ability to make cookies and toys. All the elves in the film are portrayed as living in a warm paradise (Rivendell) but our own information tells us the aforementioned group of toymaking elves work and thrive in the arctic. Hey, Mr. Jackson: Research is half of writing.
Exactly, you hypocrite.
quote:Homage or theft?
The "happy village of little people" idea was stolen from Willow.
Homage or theft II?
The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.
Homage or theft III?
The "travelling on our quest through a corn field" scene was stolen from Shrek.
Homage or theft IV?
The character of the rebellious-but-helpful Ranger was stolen from Val Kilmer in Willow.
Homage or theft VI?
The "old man looking through the door hatch at the approaching little people" scene was stolen from A Clockwork Orange.
Homage or theft VII?
The cantina scene with a noisy bar filled with a mix of otherworldly species was stolen from Cecile B. DeMille's One Night in an Alien Bar.
Homage or theft IX?
The character of the Giant Evil Flaming All-Seeing Eye was based on former President Jimmy Carter.
Homage or theft X?
The character of Elrond was based on Agent Smith from The Matrix.
Lord of the Rings was a story before all those things, so it couldn't have been theft.
quote:Realism, schmealism.
Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely.
Perhaps, you twit, the relationship was based on more than just sex.
quote:Too many notes, III.
Too many characters to keep track of. The dwarf was clearly only there as a token dwarf character to sell tickets to lucrative movie-going dwarf demographic. Lose him.
Uh, no. He was part of the fellowship as thought up by the author of the original books, J.R.R. Tolkien.
quote:The Shoeless Land.
The Hobbits both 1) refuse to wear shoes and 2) run a livestock-based farming economy. Wouldn't they constantly be stepping in crap? Why doesn't the movie address this issue?
Because it's stupid, much like you.
quote:What's that smell?
As bad as the Lucasfilm leaks were with his last film, the filmmakers of Return of the King already have the novelization out in paperback. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble already. As if we needed any less of a reason to go see it.
Once again you prove yourself to be an ignorant dope. Get a clue.
[ April 25, 2004, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: jebus202 ]
Posted by Sal (Member # 3758) on :
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Wait... Jebus - are you being ironic?
Don't tell me Jebus was hit repeatedly by the obtuse stick, too.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Huh?
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
quote: 50 Reasons Why LOTR Sucks
Why I oughta...
Posted by Heffaji (Member # 3669) on :
Some people truly need a sarcasm machine.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Wow. Jebus's parody was even better than the real parody.
Oh, and the comparison of LOTR, Star Wars, and the Matrix was awesome.
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
Ok, it was funny. But even the suggestion that LOTR sucks... Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I hated the way Peter Jackson pandered to the Hollywood liberals by naming the second film, 'The Two Towers.'
I didn't think our country could stand much more taunting after 9/11, but pinko-Jackson has to go and slander the worst tragedy since Pearl Harbor.
Someone get that man a Lenin t-shirt.
Posted by Sarcasm (Member # 4653) on :
*cough cough*
*wheeze*
I don't think I'm going to pull through, guys. I feel so old, so weak and frail. The world is going dark. I'm so afraid . . .
*cough*
Farewell, cold, cruel world!
*dies*
Posted by SoberTillNoon (Member # 6170) on :
Thank you Jebus, thank you.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:Wow. Jebus's parody was even better than the real parody.
I want to believe it. I really do.
Posted by StallingCow (Member # 6401) on :
I'm not sure if I linked this correctly, but I found this FOTR criticism a lot funnier. It also sounds like it may have been written by someone who has read the book.
Also good job jebus202.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
My mind is boggling also.
I suspect for entirely different reasons. (Edit - Actually, I just saw that was Matt's post, not SoberTillNoon's. Probably the same reason in that case).
quote:And I understand your frustration. I understand your anger. After all, it was I who had Old Man Murray shut down after I found curse words on their site. I myself remember writing a negative Titanic review in 1997 and receiving a storm of protest from the Leo DiCaprio Worshippers Guild, the North American Billy Zaniacs and the International Union of People Who Love Crap.
But I have a right to my opinions. This website has won numerous awards for online journalism; I blew the lid off the faking of Tupac Shakur's death a full two years before the mainstream media caught on. I have an Associate's Degree. Don't take this the wrong way, but that means in this world my opinion counts for a little bit more than yours does. I don't mean that in a bad way at all; it's just one of those facts of life.
I guess what I'm saying is that regardless of which piece of popular entertainment has been insulted, we don't have to load up on beatsticks and travel half way around the world every time we see someone disagreeing with us. A dog barking at a man is a dog. A man who stops to bark back probably doesn't have anywhere to be that morning
[ April 25, 2004, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: imogen ]
Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
Nope. Sorry, Far. Ralphie's was a LOT funnier.
Welcome, though! (Sort of . . . )
[ April 25, 2004, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Megachirops ]
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Yes, Ralphie's was funnier. Ralphie
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Dear Ralphie,
I just wanted to commend you on the superb link (even though it has been posted before) and on your invention of the obtuse stick. It's these sort of contributions that make you a valuable part of the Hatrack community. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Jon Boy
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Dear Jon Boy,
Thanks! It's been a rewarding career here at Hatrack, and I strive to do my part. You've been funny before, too, though! Give credit where it may actually at some point have been due!
Hope things are going well.
Write soon.
-Ralphie
Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
quote: Hey, Mr. Eminem. Standing still and moving your arms slightly is not dancing.
There is no question in my mind that any performer who won't take the time to learn the art of dance should not be allowed to sign a record deal. To quote Farquitheus:
The rod of joy smites the male Whose limbs hath flail Jump! Flail! Jump! Flail! I have soiled myself.
*snort*
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
I think the counter-arguments the LOTR fans present in the forums are the best part.
quote:Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.
~Shes an elf. SHe is the elf princess. Shes magic. Like all elves.
I thought it was funny that he didn't even mention the parodical sexist comment and came up with a nearly-unrelated argument.
But I like the Eminem article better.
quote:When played backwards, several of Eminem's songs reveal curse words, including several instances of the word cr*p.
[ April 26, 2004, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Da_Goat ]
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Marry me, jebus.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
I'm going to run around all day shouting, "MAGICAL WORLD! MAGICAL WORLD!"
Yup, it is going to be a good Monday.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
I'm gonna go ahead and pretend jebus was joking around, too.
MAGICAL WORLD! Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
quote: Millions of copies of the LOTR DVDs have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys.
If you all don't get this one, you probably shouldn't have read any further Letterboxing. My mother in law asked my husband if he knew how to fix their TV so "it didn't do that".
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
omg Ralphie you have been away for way to long. You need to whip these jatraqueros back into some sort of ironic shape!
AJ
Posted by 20X6 (Member # 6447) on :
I'm releived to know that this thread is about the Movies and not LOTR in general. *unclenches fists*
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
I can't believe anyone would even want to write anthing about "LOTR sucks". For a parody, its stupid. If you're going to write a parody, at least write a good one, else don't mess with it.Just like a whole bunch of people have said it, ITS A FREAKIN' MAGICAL WORLD!!!!!! What part of MAGICAL WORLD don't these people understand??!!! That thing about Gandalf's beard beign burnt by the BALROG, is completely out of the question. Instead of making stupid parodies, and stupid opinions, read the freaking book, and get this idea into your feeble-minded self: GALDALF is an extremely powerful WIZARD, who by the way, was J.K. ROWLING'S, and many other authors', INSPIRATION FOR DUMBLEDORE, and other characters, and if GANDALF had been living and had survived Middle Earth, a MAGICAL WORLD, FOR MORE THAN 5OO0 YEARS, YOU REALLY THINK A FREAKIN FIRE-BREATHIN' LIZARD WAS GOING TO FINISH OFF HIS BEARD THAT EASILY??!!!!
OH YEAH, AND WHOEVER THE HELL WROTE THIS WAS CLEARLY UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SOMETHING:
quote: 13. Did someone say plot hole? Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.
WELL, I'M A WOMAN, AND GUESS WHAT??!!! I CAN BEAT UP PRETTY MUCH ANY FREAKIN' GUY THAT WANTS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN, SUPERNATURAL OR NOT. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, THEN SHOW YOUR FREAKIN' ASS AT MY DOOR, AND I'LL SHOW YOU PROOF ENOUGH. ALSO, WHOEVER SAID THIS:
quote: In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.
ITS NOT AN "IF YOU WATCH CLOSELY" THING, ITS MEANT TO BE FREAKIN' OBVIOUS!!!!!! ITS A THING CALLED SUSPENSE. SUSPENSE . GOT THAT??!! NOW, MY DEAR, IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, THERES A WHOLE BUNCH OF FEATHERS OF THE PILLOWS PLACED TO FOOL THE WRAITHS INTO THINKING THAT THEY WERE IN BED, BUT NOT THAT THEY HAD KILLED THEM.
NEXT TIME YOU TRY MAKIN FUN OF A WOMAN, OR TRY TO BELITTLE HER IN ANY WAY, BE PREPARED TO MEET MY FIST. BE PREPARED TO BEG FOR MERCY. FOR NOW, JUST BE QUITE IF YOU'VE GOT NOTHING WORTHWHILE FOR US TO READ. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Because OMG TEHY CANT MAKE FUN OF LOTR OMG WTF LOL!!!!1
If it had been real, instead of parody, would you have punched a whole in your computer desk? Would you have written to the editor of your local paper? Would it have been the thing that made you realize you need to use your superpowers for good, and finally pushed you to fight crime in Gotham City?
Angst is such a useful tool.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
what the hell was that Ralph??? Ever heard of "GRAMMAR SCHOOL"??!! Or maybe that very useful book called "Webster's". And, yes, if it had been an article in the local newspaper, I would've made sure that they got the messege that "a good parody is better than a stupid, and very irrelevant, bad parody". I'm not saying that a parody is wrong, but it is if its got a whole bunch of irrelevant crap in it.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
I thought the list was kind of dumb. I've seen funnier Parodies.
But the responses on this thread are hilarious.
It's only a book, guys. Breathe.
Ni!
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
To me, this isn't just any book. Its an EPIC. the best epic I've ever read. Its inspired my own stories, and with out it, there would be no Harry Potter, no dungeons and dragons, no evil orcs, Alvin Maker wouldn't have had dreamt the LOTR plot, none of that would've been. And most important to me, it wouldn't have stimulated my imagionation the way it has. Oh the dreams I have, the stories I live day to day...I hate to disagree with you, but no. LOTR is not JUST a book.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Breathe, young lady... breathe...
It's gonna be allright, really.
Posted by Sal (Member # 3758) on :
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
I liked his Star Wars vs. LotR vs. Matrix comparison
quote:From Jackson's insulting portrayal of women - Legolas is reduced to simplistic, mindless interjections ("a diversion!") and decorating the scenery with her beauty - to his dwarf who, in every single sentence, mentions the fact that he is a dwarf, Jackson's cast of characters is a group one would long to never meet in real life.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
"Calvin, it's only a game."
"I know, you should see me when I lose in real life."
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
As Hobbit Wench of the LotR Wenches' Tavern (notably Tolkien obsessed since age 10) I have to say that this thread is much more amusing than the actual parody.
It might be worth pointing out that, in parodies, the author often espouses ideas that he finds unreasonable or laughable, for the sake of making fun of the idiots who hold those ideas.
Therefore, the author probably agrees with the people who are currently so angry. I'm actually wondering if it's a cultural thing. Are Americans just more into the Art of Parody?
I'm curious.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Altherial, just ignore them. It's NOT just a book. Wouldn't you hate to be in a place where your feelings would fail to be moved by that epic? It doesn't take away the onus to be polite, but the passion is wonderful.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Kat's right. We're all secretly jealous of your passion.
And your Caps Lock key.
Edit: Spelling.
[ April 26, 2004, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: Bob the Lawyer ]
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I've changed my mind. Altariel's sublime irony transends them all.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
I think my favorite one (even though they're all so damn good), is "25. Propaganda."
quote:You need to whip these jatraqueros back into some sort of ironic shape!
I always thought that a good ironic shape was the circle. Where does it start? Where does it end? We just don't know.
And, yes, this has been posted before.
And, no, it has never caused this much concern (or possibly ironic concern) before, which is the really interesting thing about this thread. If there are some people who genuinely do feel that this is not funny at all, then they are allowing themselves to become the butt of the joke. Which is why satire is such an effective form of comedy in the first place, you laugh to keep yourself from becoming enraged.
I think what I particularly love about Dr. Oxford's style is his devastatingly hilarious use of bold font.
(I just took a look at the Matrix: Rejected. The last too are great.)
[ April 26, 2004, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Oh yeah, the caps lock... It started out as only the Shift, but then, well, I guess I got carried away. After I previewed my post, I kindof liked the way it looked, so fierce and strong... It perfectly portrayed my emotions, You can tell, by my horrible spelling, (which someone pointed out BTW) that I was furious. Thanks for those of you that liked what I posted and sympathized with me.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ralphie!
That was the best laugh I've had in days!
I even feel better!
I am now going to refer to you as Dr. Ralphie, because you remember that "laughter is the best medicine."
(The outraged comments were pretty damn funny, too. Keep 'em coming, folks! I love this place!)
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Oh yeah??!!! You laughing at our feelings?????!!!!! Who do you think you are????!!!!! Go to hell, and take those "I think LOTR sucks" and "Anger incited on other people by a stupid parody is fun" friends with you!!!! Posted by 20X6 (Member # 6447) on :
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
At risk of ruining the fun, I'd like to point out that it seems obvious to me that the author of this parody is a huge fan of LotR, that the parody is intended for people who love LotR because they catch all the jokes (such as the "novelization" bit in the first one), and that it's making fun more of people who find nitpicky stupid things to criticize in great works than it is making fun of the movies.
That's why the angry responses are so funny. But I hope I didn't just kill them. Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Laughs lots more and blesses Hatrack for continuing to help the healing process.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Nononono. A, the passion is good, but it can't cross over into rudeness at those who have different opinions. People put up defenses and think badly of those who insult them, so it's much more persuasive to be passionate but still polite.
I still love the passion, but the politeness needs some work.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Speaking of which, I would like to see this guy take on The Passion. I haven't seen it myself, but I'm sure it's fertile ground for parody (as Monty Python already proved a long time ago).
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
I called in sick this morning because I got my freakin' bum kicked by an irate female. She didn't say whether she had read the 50-reasons article though.
Posted by unicornwhisperer (Member # 294) on :
I'm sorry but that article "sucks".
Especially what he says about elves.
And he clearly hasn't read the books...
[ April 26, 2004, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: unicornwhisperer ]
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
::files under 'T's favorite threads'::
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I think I'm losing my ability to tell who's being serious and who's being ironic.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
You and me both, Jon. It's best to assume both at the same time, since both are equally funny.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Is it worth to have intense reactions to the powerful stories that echo inside us? I can't believe you're making fun of that. Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
I don't think anybody's making fun of that. I think they're making fun of the kind of person that doesn't understand what the words "parody" or "sarcasm" mean, and gets all up in arms about a point of view that the writer himself doesn't agree with anyway. This gets even funnier when the person pretends they DO know what those words mean, and their reactions clearly show that they don't have a clue.
I don't have any problem with someone finding that particular list lame, or not as funny as it was intended, but practically every post I've seen expressing this opinion went on to object to the SUBSTANCE of the piece, showing that they still think the writer actually meant what he wrote.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
ok, I'm fed up with this bull. I don't see the point of trying to make fun of that which we most love anyway, so its obvious that whoever wrote the parody, DOESN'T like LOTR as much as a real fan with real passion does. I wasn't that angry, I just got carried away. but still, critizising(?) LOTR is a big NONO Because its something that alot of people value, you don't just attack something you value, now do you(unless you're into something)? Oh, and that comment about "The Passion", well, that is a religious topic, and no one wants to mess with that. Jesus died for your freakin' sins, you sinner. Show some respect, if not gratitude that he gave you even a chance of allowing your sorry ass into heaven. Sorry, but no. Politeness isn't something I bother with when it comes to religion, ain't that ironic? Show some respect for other people's feelings and their beliefs just like I do for you...unless it comes to LOTR, as many of you saw. ^.~
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
Hey, kiddo, calm down. Take a couple of deep breaths.
Nobody criticized or attacked LOTR. Not even the guy that wrote that piece. Do you understand? He didn't mean a word of it. It is supposed to make us, the fans who really like the books and movies, laugh at the kinds of things that non-fans might presumably say.
Again, nobody attacked. Almost all of us here really do like LOTR. Really.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
...need....air.....breathe....... *five seconds of silence* (counting to 10 is a good remedy when you're furious) 1.........................2................................3........4..........................5.......................................6..............................7............. ...........8............9..........................................................................................................................................10..........*sigh *
Ok, I feel great again!!! ^.^ Woot! I guess I hadn't thought that this was what ignorants *might* think and not what the author actually thought....
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*pat pat* Frodo knows you love him. Sam's too even-keel to get offended anyway. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote: Politeness isn't something I bother with when it comes to religion, ain't that ironic?
Not so ironic. It's much easier to fight for one's beliefs than to live up to them.
Politeness matters.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
what i meant is that I become a ferocious opponent when it comes to speaking about religion, and since most religions, if not all, ask you to be polite to everyone else, it becomes a little paradox...
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. It's not a paradox, it's a matter of not listening to the religion you're defending.
The Lord can take a little abuse; I'll bet he'd be happier with your living it than your violating it by smacking down those who don't.
[ April 26, 2004, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The fact that something matters so greatly that seems to restrict our ability to defend it is one of the reasons I'm pretty sure the Lord has a sense of humor.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
I can't even laugh at the people like Altariel, who are having such strong reactions to a parody which they obviously didn't understand.
It's pointless to even try to explain it. There are at least 5 posts which did a good job of explaining what the good Dr. Oxford was trying to accomplish. So either Altariel didn't read those explanations, or she's just letting her love of LOTR blind her to the obvious comedic value of the parody.
We just have to accept the fact that there are some unfortunate souls who don't understand sarcasm, irony, or parody, whether it be subtle or obvious. Let us hope that one day, they will develop a sorely needed sense of humor.
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Oh my. Thanks Ralphie. I think that's one of the funniest thread I ever read. *wipes tears*
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
But that sense of humor is swapped for the passion. That's a loss, I think.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
I don't think anyone got my little parody of how angry I made everyone think I was. You see, the parody was to see how someone "too feeble-minded-to-understand-LOTR" might react, well everyone fell for my joke of how *somebody as agressively fanatic of LOTR might react.
Made you look
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
I don't know about that. I imagine that most of the people who found the parody hysterical, and understood it, are the ones who love LOTR the most.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
It's just a growing experience for some, Fitz. Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
U's right. They guy was making fun of the stupid people who don't like LotR. (because we all know they're silly, unenlightened and smell funny. ).
I have a great respect for the books as well as the movies. Probably moreso the books. Which is why I have no problem joking about some little things in the movies. Like how often Frodo falls down, or the old joke that Legolas has three expressions: Calm, Slight Headache and BALROG. But I still love the books (they shaped my imagination from an early age) and the movies (they brought me together with some of the coolest people in the world, people I am happy to call my friends).
But I still appreciate the love that Altįriėl of Dorthonion has for the work. Gives me hope for the next generation.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Well, is love more real when you love blindly and defensively and all-consumingly, or when it is settled and understanding and permanent?
There's a place for both. I think the first is more fun.
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
It may be more fun (or it may not), but it is definitely more dangerous, and results in more pain.
Posted by Fitz (Member # 4803) on :
Sorry Altariel, but it's pretty obvious that you felt genuine anger, and didn't really 'get' it. This is evidenced by the fact that the only thing that was funny about your posts, was the obvious fact that you didn't get the joke.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Yeah, I like how it wasn't until someone said, "You obviously aren't reading other people's posts" that suddenly it was all a big joke.
Okay. I'll buy it. But only because I fear that otherwise you'll start using the caps lock like it contained the stickiness of three years worth of coffee and blueberry muffins, that of which no mortal could repair.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:It may be more fun (or it may not), but it is definitely more dangerous, and results in more pain.
Well, yeah. *thinks*
Hmm... still worth it. In time and season.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Kat - Do you really think there is a place for ignorant passion?
I'd think the most effective passion would be one resulting from looking at the situation - and taking the time to gather information from others - to have solid, valid conviction.
Otherwise, it's just emotional self-indulgence, which is a bad habit to get into.
[ April 26, 2004, 04:05 PM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I don't think it's a good idea all the time, or even most of the time, but I think if you have solid, solid boundries that you'd never cross, then it's fun in the Spring.
But then, take it for what it's worth. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Oh, it's SPRING.
I forgot. Pollen and hormones.
Yeah, I dig.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Pollen???
*sneezes*
*repeatedly*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Altariel,
I think you said in another thread that you live in Mexico? If so, is Spanish your first language? I remember a friend of mine saying that when she taught English in Mexico to middle schoolers, her main form of behaviour management, the sarcastic putting-in-place of the sarcastic eighth graders, was totally lost on the students, whose English was not at the sarcastic level. (even though their English was excellent)
I am thinking this might be your issue with not understanding the irony-sarcasm-parody of this article.
Liz
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
quote:I thought the list was kind of dumb. I've seen funnier Parodies.
But the responses on this thread are hilarious.
It's only a book, guys. Breathe.
Ni!
Whew. Glad I'm not the only one, Becky.
Alt, sorry it upset you so much. Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Don't speak to me about not understanding jokes when English is not your first language. It used to happen to me ALL THE TIME. Less now. Or so I hope Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
The funny of this thread was lost when it dipped into the absurd. I'm seriously getting ill reading all of these "DON' YOU BE DISSIN' LOTR OR ILL KICK YOU IN DEY MOUF!!" posts. Get a life, people. Get out. Get laid. Do something. Lordie.
And for those of you who think the Lord of the Rings cannot be criticised, get some perspective. LOTR may be good fiction, it may also be classic, but it's not amazingly, mind-numblingly great. I can come up with several easy criticisms off the top of my head. First and formost being dialogue. Tolkien writes some dull, plodding dialogue that can be tough to get through. I'll even entertain the idea that Tom Bombadil serves little purpose in the small-arc of LOTR.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
There's light irony and then there's crazy talk. You've crossed the line.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
My dear elizabeth, Language was not a barrier for me. I DO NOT live in Mexico, I was born there, a lot of my family lives there, I am a native spanish speaker, but I was raised in USA. Therefore, I'm also a native English speaker. And my anger was not genuine. I accept that I was ticked off at the parody, but I wasn't really that furious, except for the passion, the anger was really a counter-joke on my part...v.v
Posted by Sugar+Spice (Member # 5874) on :
Me thinks someone doth protest too much.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote: I accept that I was ticked off at the parody, but I wasn't really that furious, except for the passion, the anger was really a counter-joke on my part...v.v
Okay, so you put more into your post than you felt because you thought it would be funny, while simultaneously slaming someone else's humorous article simply because it was too subtle (no, not "2 STOOPID OMG" or " dumbo cause slamming LOTR is just NAWT AXSEPTIBLE") for you to get.
Ah, well. Kids. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Oh yeah, I kind of do... This might sound weird, but I actually LIKE to argue, I enjoy every second and every word coming out of my mouth...
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Uh, Altįriėl?
You might want to check the manual on your bike because it's not equipped with "back pedal."
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Explain yourself Curve. My arguments are clear at least. If I said it was a freakin' joke, then its a FREAKIN' JOKE!!!! A bad one, I admit... But still one... Its not the kind of "this is funny" joke, its the kind of, "maybe some people would think this way" kind of joke. And BTW, whoever said I should get laid, or get a life...I have a freakin' life you moron. And I won't get laid until I'm married or 18, whichever comes first.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Whaddya mean you can't shoot 'em, Ralphie? OMG! When did the law change? Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Oh yeah...parents can't live with us, but they can't live w/out us either...we're like pet parasites...
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
It is really awkward and sad when people start explaining their jokes. Can we all pretend all the posts here are jokes and that we all get it?
Magical World.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Beren.
Ahhh - a lovely breath of fresh air.
Magical . . . Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Magic..... Read y "Feminism" posts, and everyone will understand what the hell is wrong with me...
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
God damn, Hatrack is a great place. People can make a mistake, get over-emotional, and then get grinded until they admit how wrong they were.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Lawyer's oldest trick...
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
quote: what the hell was that Ralph??? Ever heard of "GRAMMAR SCHOOL"??!! Or maybe that very useful book called "Webster's". And, yes, if it had been an article in the local newspaper, I would've made sure that they got the messege that "a good parody is better than a stupid, and very irrelevant, bad parody". I'm not saying that a parody is wrong, but it is if its got a whole bunch of irrelevant crap in it.
Grammar school? I hope that's a joke, looking at the grammar you used in your post.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
At least it was legible...Thats what counts. Posting on the net only needs that. Legibility. If you're going to correct my posts, then at least do it in the same topic.
[ April 26, 2004, 06:58 PM: Message edited by: Altįriėl of Dorthonion ]
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I would hope that posting at Hatrack requires a little more than legibility.
And what do you mean "at least do it in the same topic"? That post was in this thread.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:God damn, Hatrack is a great place. People can make a mistake, get over-emotional, and then get grinded until they admit how wrong they were.
You know, I was going to make a culling from the herd comment, but you're right, Jebus.
I'm now in Beren's magical world. And I desire a nut roll. *wishes hard for nut roll*
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
*Wishing she knew where the OOC thread is . . . *
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
quote:Uh, Altįriėl?
You might want to check the manual on your bike because it's not equipped with "back pedal."
Except for those two-seater ones, but then it should be plural.
Anyway, is a nut roll one of those cinnamon rolls with almonds, or is it -just- nuts?
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I thought the list was supposed to actually compliment LOTR, saying that only an ignoramus would have an extensive list of why it stunk.
Posted by UTAH (Member # 5032) on :
Why does the list even matter, except to entertain us further? I don't understand the emotional defense of the movie(s). Unless it's your child . . . The list is funny and the movie was great. My opinion (which means nothing to anyone but me!). Lighten up everyone. It's a movie for Heaven's Sake!
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
*goes off to search for the subtlety stick*
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
I think everyone needs to just lighten up. Why do we find the need in this culture to make lists about why we hate things, or make posts on the internet about why we disagree with people's opinions, or make movies about fictional characters and events? I think that if we all just lightened up, we'd finally have a little peace and quiet around here.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
Jehovoid is my new favorite Jatraquero. Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
So now it was a joke? Man. That one sure bombed.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Alright, for a joke, that really didn't make me laugh. And reguarding that post that I thought was off topic, sorry, I was confused because I was jumping from topic to topic and I though I was somewhere else, my bad. Sorry. Oh, and BTW, I still don't get the bike pedal thingy... I feel way better today, my apologies to everyone I offended yesterday, as some of you know, I had to drink 10 cups of express and around 24 chocolate bars...I lost a bet and I have paid for it. Idon't feel so cranky anymore, again, I'M SORRY. I guess it was just a joke, and if the author of that lame list meant it or not, its her/his problem and I've got nothing to do with it.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*pat pat* Welcome to Hatrack. Baptism by fire. Please stay. Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
quote:Oh, and BTW, I still don't get the bike pedal thingy...
It's like the time when Vegeta married a earth woman after declaring that "mix-bloods" like Gohan can never achieve true Super Saiyan power.
Welcome to Hatrack. Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Ok, after Vegeta married Bulma, and Trunks was born...I'm still confused...Gomen....
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
You don't hear Vegeta bitching about "mix-bloods" after Trunks was born did you? (OK, maybe he did, but definitely not after Trunks turned Super Saiyan). Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Now you're just playing with the kid, Beren.
Unless you're planing on eating the poor thing, just let it flee.
[ April 27, 2004, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: Ralphie ]
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Well, he was always really aloof...he was a very proud person, but at the same time, he was very proud of his son even though he rarely admitted it. But I understand that now. Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
Ralphie, your statement reminds me of the time Gokou had the chance to kill Vegeta but decides to let him live because.... well, I've told you that story a million times you must be sick of it by now.
Posted by Altįriėl of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
He also gave a chance to frz, however, t he guy was stupid enough to attack goku after he had spared him...goku ofcourse, killed him(even though he comes back later in the series and thats when trucks kills him for good)
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
This made me laugh again. Therefore, it gets the bump.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
I just read this thread all over again ans I still can't believe the things I wrote. I just laugh. So long ago... Oh! And to clear things up, I was actually playing a joke on everyone, I could do it again if you want me to. Just on another topic.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
I dunno. It was sorta funny sometimes, but for the most part it was just too stupid to be funny. They were too damn stupid to be reasonally believeable acusations and as a result lost their humor. Even a parody poking fun at something still needs to be believable in its poking fun.
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
It was only when I saw my old screen name that I realized it was April 26 of last year. My 2nd hatrack anniversary blew right by me.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Damn, my irony wasn't nearly as funny as I remember it being.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Wait'll you see how the crap you post these days looks to you in a year or so. Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Hah.
Now could you take this arrow out of my heart? As one might imagine, it wounded me pretty badly.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Oooooh, sorry about that. After it's out, should I pour salt in the wound, too?
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
I doubt it would make a difference, I don't think it could be any more painful.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
Thank you Ralphie!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
You know, a boyfriend, husband, significant other. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
Letterboxing. My mother in law asked my husband if he knew how to fix their TV so "it didn't do that".
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
).![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
Beren.![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)