The film industry has 'em, the television and music industry have 'em, so I think it's high time Hatrack had 'em. It therefore pleases me to announce that voting is open for the (drumroll) FIRST EVER ANNUAL 'RACKADEMY AWARDS!
Here's how it works:
Awards night is May 15th Voting closes May 10th
Any registered Jatraquero is eligible to vote in the categories outlined below. Email votes to me at the email address in my profile. I'll do the sums and post the results here on the fifteenth. All pretty simple, really.
And what are you going to win?
What else but the coveted OSCar Awardtm
And the categories...
1. Best New Talent. (any new member registered in 2004) 2. Best Screen Name. (all comers) 3. Best Alternative SN. 4. Best Hatrack Couple. 5. Best Dobie 6. Best Pun 7. Most passionate Arguer 8. Best Hatrack Family (siblings, children etc.. provided that all post to the 'rack.) 9. Most creative use of Foobonic 10. Best thread Hijack / hijacker
So there you are, get thinking, get voting, get out your best clothes, and I'll dust off the red carpet and book a limo...
Cheers tony
[ May 16, 2004, 05:07 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
Oh! It's called Rackademy awards because it's on Hatrack. I thought you were judging people's racks. I was like "Best New Talent, uh huh...Best New SN?! What does that have to do with how great a rack is? Oh, wait a minute..."
[ May 01, 2004, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: JonnyNotSoBravo ]
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
...and I was thinking, "Ralphie's totally gonna sweep this thing."
And did imogen make you post this just so she could get more attention for her Good Cod, OSC dobie?
And I hereby nominate Lalo for best thread hijacker. Observe:
Thread starter: So I need to find some good shears. The bushes in the backyard are beautiful, but they're growing so fast!
Lalo: Bush is the devil. He rapes puppies, beheads them, then uses their skulls to drink his morning coffee out of. Republicans suck.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
I nominate Bob and Dana as the hatrack couple.
(upon reflection, I should probably nominate myself and Bernard, but eh)
[ May 01, 2004, 07:26 AM: Message edited by: MaydayDesiax ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Okay, the whole 'rack connotation didn't occur to me. Must be an Australian thing. In that case, I'll be nominating Imogen in all categories
Imogen didn't mention the dobie - I came up with that all on my own, but now you mention it, it probably deserves a vote or two. She's always being clever like that.
And yep. I think the competition for best Hatrack couple is going to be pretty much a cake walk for bob and Dana, but as the whole system relies on votes, I figure you never can tell....
Posted by tonguetied&twisted (Member # 5159) on :
Heh. Here's me going to all the trouble of emailing you like it says and all.
Did you get my email? Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
email is good - we like email
Just sent you one back...so, yep. Gottit alright.
Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
Oh, hey. A popularity thread. How droll.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
This is stupid.
Everyone know I have the best rack.
Oh, wai-
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
But Megachirops is totally the best alternative name! And it means so much more when you don't have a ton of them. Like some folks Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I was thinking the same thing, pooka. "Megachirops" has no competition.
Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
This is like the academy awards but only those technical categories. Where are the big awards?
What about Best Thread? Or Best Post?
[ May 01, 2004, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Xaposert ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
And why is the newbie award limited to a 4-month span?
Dagonee
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The problem is that there is a huge gap between newbie and old timer, and most people are in that gap.
Considering how many people have been here for so long, I think newbies should be divided into painfully new (two months or less) and still-a-newbie-but-can-spot-a-clone (nine to two months).
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Maybe a best supporting newbie?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
What does it say about me that I'm worrying that beign nominated in the "Best Couple" category might mess up my chances at "Best Pun?"
There are tons of great Hatrack couples, by the way. That's the trouble with these threads...people start feeling left out. And I'm not even going to start listing the other couples because I'd leave someone out.
So, I'll suggest a few categories to add to the thing instead:
Best Landmark Post
Best Bannishment
Best return from an absence
Best thread or post that got a response from the moderators
Best use of graemlins
Duo: Best discussion of controversial topic -- point/counterpoint
Best story about a Hatracker's kid(s)
Best overlapping posts (i.e., where two people posted related things almost simultaneously)
Best out of context comment
Best Adjacent thread titles Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
I don't really qualify for any of those nominations. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Bob's being generous, since he knows he's got one sewn up.
Dagonee
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
What about those of us who are stuck between newbies and veterans? Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
We get nothin'!
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
*tear*
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
What Eru said.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
So are we talking here about specific posts, or in genereal? Meaning, if the award is "6. Best Pun" it sounds like we're saying, find the best pun on the site and then the poster responsible wins. Makes mroe sense to me to do it the other way were we would find the person who in general has the best puns and give them the award.
Hobbes Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
Knock knock... Couldn't we elect the best European Hatracker ? I know Kama would win, I only want to actually have a chance to participate to the competition Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
I think I have Best Cuban-American Hatracker about sewn up . . .
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
quote:I think I have Best Cuban-American Hatracker about sewn up . . .
Hmm...What size bag did you use? I hope the thread is strong enough too.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Literalists spoil everyone's fun.
Hobbes Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
Bob, you really want that pun award don't you? I don't think you really have to worry about it.
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
What if this screen name is new this year? Do you think people know that I actually joined in August? Oh well, I guess everyone knows now. Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
I nominate myself for the Original Thread Posts That Are So Complete No One Can Think Of Anything To Add To Them award.
Feyd Baron, DoC
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
I second Frisco's nomination for Eddie. Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
How about an award for Best Pending Bannishment ? Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
It's spelled "banishment" as in the word banish. I wouldn't have said anything but people were repeating the mistake so I thought I'd stop it before it became an epidemic.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Phew. Just woke up and it looks like I have some work to do....
okay:
quote: Oh, hey. A popularity thread. How droll.
I was sort of hoping that this is what it wouldn't be; more a celebration of the enjoyable / memorable parts of the hatrack year without becoming an all out popularity poll. That's why I left out a number of what I thought were obvious 'heavy' categories such as best thread etc... This is also why I limited the overall number of categories; just to keep it reasonably focussed on the more amusing side of Hatrack Life. I guess it's more a celebration of fluff.
That said, Iccy, you still get my vote for best alternative SN, whether you want it or not
quote: Everyone know I have the best rack
A good point, Ralphie. I stand corrected
quote: What about Best Thread? Or Best Post?
See reply to Icarus, above.
quote: And why is the newbie award limited to a 4-month span?
It seemed a nice round cut off date. But this is a good point, and I'd hate for anyone to feel left out, so how about we take on a combination of katharina and Pooka's ideas and split it thus:
Best (Really) New Talent Has registered this year, and is still hanging around for reason or reasons unknown, and despite their better judgement.
Best Supporting Newbie Registered in the last 12 Months, and has a post count higher than, I dunno, lets say 200?
quote: What does it say about me that I'm worrying that beign nominated in the "Best Couple" category might mess up my chances at "Best Pun?"
Bob, It just shows how talented you really are in a wide range of areas
I also agree that I missed a few glaringly important, though still light and fluffys. So here are some categories from the Bob Scopatz Special Awards for Achievement
Best Banishment
Best return from an absence (How could I forget this one?)
Best thread or post that got a response from the moderators
Best use of graemlins (and this one, too)
Best story about a Hatracker's kid(s)
Best overlapping posts (i.e., where two people posted related things almost simultaneously)
Best out of context comment
Best Adjacent thread titles
quote: I don't really qualify for any of those nominations.
How about another category for "Most Creative use of member number 4467"?
quote: What about those of us who are stuck between newbies and veterans?
See above. How could I not have thought of this one, especially with the major talent in that field. Eru, Dagonee, Raia - I humbly apologise...
quote: So are we talking here about specific posts, or in genereal? Meaning, if the award is "6. Best Pun" it sounds like we're saying, find the best pun on the site and then the poster responsible wins
That's roughly what I had in mind, but I'm happy to go with your suggestion and change it to "Best Punster". Or both, if you want. Just send me votes in whichever category you prefer... (or any other category, for that matter...)
quote: Couldn't we elect the best European Hatracker ? I know Kama would win, I only want to actually have a chance to participate to the competition
I Thought about it - (best overseas performance, that sort of thing...) but decided it might fall under the "popularity competition" heading and therefore left it out. I'm happy to change my mind, if people disagree with me on it, though. (especially for you, Anna )
quote: I nominate myself for the Original Thread Posts That Are So Complete No One Can Think Of Anything To Add To Them award.
The "Thread Brevity" OSCar???
quote: How about an award for Best Pending Bannishment ?
no.
quote: It's spelled "banishment" as in the word banish. I wouldn't have said anything but people were repeating the mistake so I thought I'd stop it before it became an epidemic.
Cheers, JNSB... Love your werk.
So there you have it, folks. Hope that's okay with eveyone. I just want to celebrate the great people who I've met here. I don't post a lot, as you know, but I read most threads, and more often than not come away impressed, even in those cases where I disagree with people. That's a testament to the all round greatness that is Hatrack.
So if you want to vote for someone in a category I haven't included, then just do it and I'll include it. OSCar's for everyone...
cheers tony
Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
Why hasn't anyone dobied this thing yet?
All you'd need is a pic of Ralphie....
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
I think that joke's been done, even by the butt of it, so to speak.
I think this is kinda pointless, because when I watch the oscars I'm there to see the losers and the ridiculously over-emotional speeches. If we could webcam it, it'd be allright.
[ May 01, 2004, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: Book ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Banishment...Banishment...
Arrgghhh.
I used to win spelling competitions. Dagnabit!
Just getting lazy, I guess.
Anyway, I'm going to practice my acceptance speech, just in case...
quote:Thank you for making me the vessel...
Nope, it's been done...
I would like to thank all the little people. Hobbits...
Now why didn't the guys from LOTR say that??? Would've been funny.
Oh well. I can't think of anything. Guess I could just protest the awards ceremony and donate my winnings to charity.
What? There are no monetary prizes?
What kind of cheesy awards thing is this?
Oh well. At least we get hotel and per diem, right?
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that I'm wearing Givenchy and Ralph Lauren. And man are those guys heavy!
Thanks
That should do it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I think awards should be given the way Bob does it in the Pun Smackdowns. Basically, an award is given to every person, and they are more funny than any of the puns in the thread. Even Bob's.
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
If you register as NotSoMrFunny you could go for The Best Alternative SN award
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
*sends freebies to all the veterans in attempt to win votes*
Well thats what they do for retired actors to influence their votes right?
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Everyone knows that awards nights are all about the dresses. Two weeks is hardly enough time to pick a dress, but I've narrowed it down.
I'm leaning toward the Oscar de la Renta and the Carolina Herrera B.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*encourages the sending of freebies to all registered jatraqueros. Esopecially those in Australia*
Also, Mrs. M - I wouldn't discount the Givenchy, although Bob S has already staked a claim there...
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
quote:I think that joke's been done, even by the butt of it, so to speak.
Ralphie is a butt. ::snicker::
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
will there be participation/attendance certificates for the non-award winners?
fallow
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I'd like to cast a vote for Megachirops (aka "megachops") for the SN (best or alternative category) award.
fallow
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
In case nobody did it, I would nominate Hobbes for the best use of Graemlins.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I gotta put my vote in for Dagonee on the "best controversial topic" arguer. He seems to come up with the best explained counterpoint. He really is a GREAT arguer!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Just votes? Not nominations, then a short-list of nominees, and a final vote for winners?
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
quote:Mrs. M - I wouldn't discount the Givenchy, although Bob S has already staked a claim there...
Well, I do think I'd look much better in that dress. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Narnia:
Oh, and we need a category for best expert. The english language, rebbetzin (sp?), and electricity threads are just some of the examples of the excellent work done in this category.
Dagonee
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I'm with rivka on that one.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Shouldn't the technical awards be given in a small, offsite ceremony a week earlier?
And there will need to be at least a week of campaigning, which includes commercials for your own nominations as well as attempts to bring down the opposition. I suggest taking out ads in Google's AdSense so they show up in the relevant threads.
Also, we'll need a red carpet topic as a preamble, with lots of overenthusiastic coverage and gossip.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote:Ralphie is a butt. ::snicker::
Nuh uh. You are.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
How did we start talking about Ralphie's butt?
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Also, I'd like to nominate want2write for the best new 'racker category. Not since Maethoriell have we seen a newbie of this caliber.
Oh yeah. And for the Dobie category, maybe that ridiculous string of dobies awhile back. Like 13 of them or something. I forget exactly what it was they were dobie-ing. This one was also pretty good. Or at least I thought so.
[ May 02, 2004, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: jehovoid ]
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: quote: -------------------------------------------------Ralphie is a butt. ::snicker:: -------------------------------------------------
Nuh uh. You are.
Ah, the fights my sisters and I had in our younger years. *is nostalgic*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
okay... this is becoming more fun every day
So, nominations, then a short list, over-extravagant campaigns, then all the technical award being announced off site, then the threat of the major ceremony being cancelled due to industral action against the networks, then voting, then a red carpet, then dresses, then of course the long speeches cut off by the band. Then someone being all political and getting booed, then the after party at AIM....
How about this, then, revised and updated.
Nominate. Nominate any categories on top of the ones already existing. Nominate who you'd like to see in each of those categories including the ones below. Do it this week, let's say by the 7th MAy. Nominate either here in the thread or by emailing me.
Then I'll compile and release the short list for each category.
Then we'll give those people a week for campaigning, bribery, general flaming of one another etc...
Meanwhile everyone else can vote.
Then, on the fourteeth, I'll do the maths...
Sound okay???
Categories as they stand:
1. Best (Really) New Talent Has registered this year, and is still hanging around for reason or reasons unknown, and despite their better judgement.
2. Best Supporting Newbie Registered in the last 12 Months, and has a post count higher than, I dunno, lets say 200?
3. Best Screen Name. (all comers) 4. Best Alternative SN. 5. Best Hatrack Couple. 6. Best Dobie 7. Best Pun 8. Most passionate Arguer 9. Best Hatrack Family (siblings, children etc.. provided that all post to the 'rack.) 10. Most creative use of Foobonic 11. Best thread Hijack / hijacker
plus, don't foget the Bob Scopatz Special Awards for Achievement
12. Best Banishment 13. Best return from an absence 14.Best thread or post that got a response from the moderators 15.Best use of graemlins (and this one, too) 16.Best story about a Hatracker's kid(s) 17.Best overlapping posts (i.e., where two people posted related things almost simultaneously) 18.Best out of context comment 19.Best Adjacent thread titles
And don't forget the newest special category..
THE HUGH JACKMAN AWARD FOR MOST ADORING EXPRESSION OF HOW GREAT YOU THINK A PARTICULAR PERSON / PERSONS / FICTIONAL CHARACTER / GENRE OF CHARACTERS (SUCH AS PIRATES) ARE.
Currently, I'd say we have at least one nomination in most categories, between those on the thread and those that've been emailed, so keep 'em coming, and help celebrate the best quality fluff on the internet.
cheers tony Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
OK, I officially nominate ak, Jon Boy, and rivka for Best Hatrack Expert Knowledge Sharing.
(I'm glad I didn't have to narrow down the list yet.)
Dagonee
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Oh, and Mrs. M...
quote: Well, I do think I'd look much better in that dress.
Though I'm inclined to agree with you, I've also learnt never to underestimate Bob, so I'm reserving judgement until the big night Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
3. Best Screen Name (all comers)--Of course I'd say myself...but for the sake of not being a bit butthead, I nominate Eruve. It just sounds cool.
4. Best Alternative SN--Pat and all his ilk
5. Best Hatrack Couple--can't decide between Bob and Dana or Jon Boy and Ruth, so I won't. Both!
That's all I'm motivated to think about right now, but I nominate whoever started the Pirate/Ninja thread for THE HUGH JACKMAN AWARD FOR MOST ADORING EXPRESSION OF HOW GREAT YOU THINK A PARTICULAR PERSON / PERSONS / FICTIONAL CHARACTER / GENRE OF CHARACTERS (SUCH AS PIRATES) ARE award.
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
quote:Nuh uh. You are.
Good one.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Annie and Hobbes gotta be nominated for the cute couple award. Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
I think the knowledgeable expert category is no contest -- CT!
Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
Is there any rule about people nominating themselves? Do nominations have to get seconded?
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
I nominate Narnia for being the best choir director.
Hobbes Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
quote: Is there any rule about people nominating themselves? Do nominations have to get seconded?
Nope...Nominate whoever, including yourself. It's all in good fun, after all. Likewise, don't worry about being seconded, or seconding others (unless you really want to )just put people up there as a mark of your ongoing respect and unbounded admiration for their work in Hatrack Enhancement...
remember...only 3 nomination days to go! (Hmmm...this is starting to sound like some sort of reality TV show...)
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Oh, and I was asked yesterday if the whole voting thing will be kept secret, and the answer is absolutely yes. Neither who voted for whom, nor the number of people who voted for a particular person, will be revealed.
The information will be locked in a government vault for at least 50 years, until the official secrets act statuate of limitations on this sort of material expires. Or I just won't show the spreadsheet to anyone. Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I nominate the Mooses for best Hatrack family!
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Has anyone nominated imogen for the "Good Cod OSC" dobie? If not, I do. Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Oh, and I nominate rivka for best use of graemlins.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: The information will be locked in a government vault for at least 50 years, until the official secrets act statute of limitations on this sort of material expires.
Which government?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Which government?"
The Transitional Iraqi Government.
SORRY!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Unfortunately they're nominated in the "Most transitional government" Category, so we can't use them. I was thinking of using Trinidad / Tobago, actually. - that way I don't have to pay any tax on the vault rental, either Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Ok, I'm going to put two nominations in for "Best Landmark Post." Claudia Therese and Ryuko. Those two were great!! Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Was Dan's "I failed" post a landmark? If so, I nominate it.
Dagonee
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
I nominate Scythrop for Best Organiser of 'Rackademy Awards.
Seriously, dude, you're doing a great job. And Imogen, too, I'm sure she's giving you a hand. Hi Imogen!
See, I told you all Austraaalians weren't that bad. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Dagonee, I'm not sure which post of Dan's you mean -- this was his last landmark. In any case, if that's NOT what you meant, I'll nominate it. (If it is, I second. )
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Nope, I meant this one, which isn't actually a landmark. So I'll second rivka's nomination and withdraw my own.
Dagonee
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
quote: I nominate Scythrop for Best Organiser of 'Rackademy Awards.
See folks, THIS is how you launch a campaign for best SN. TT&T, you've got my vote Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I would like to open nominations for "Best Lurker."
And I wish to nominate...well, you know who. Don't worry, I won't blow your cover by giving your name, but its you, so just consider this your nomination.
And if the lurker is unavailable to show up and collect their award, I have been authorized to accept for them.
Posted by Megachirops (Member # 4325) on :
Hatrack has a short memory. The best dobie ever was "I Don't Believe in Kama." Heck, it spawned its own Hatrack mythology! How can you overlook that?! I don't remember who wrote it, and it seems to be gone, though.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I nominate KaCard as best forum moderator on the entire internet.
I nominate her as the best person in Hatrack, prettiest, smartest, wisest, and most powerful.
I nominate OSC for best writer since God started dictating "In the begining..."
Now please, please, please don't take our Hatrack away again.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
amen.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
Amen to that!
I'd like to throw in a nomination for Best Landmark for rivka's Soundtrack to her life. I thought it was very creative and personal. (That was you, rivka, right?)
<---- Will be terribly embarrassed if she has the wrong person.
Edit: Hey Ashley! Our member numbers have a pretty cool correlation! I just noticed...you are 1001 members after me, and I have 1001 posts at this very second! Wow...
[ May 07, 2004, 02:36 AM: Message edited by: hansenj ]
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
quote:See folks, THIS is how you launch a campaign for best SN. TT&T, you've got my vote
Heh, I already had your vote. And I have proof! That's how you know I was sincere with my nomination.
Although I have to admit already nominating him for something else, can I please nominate Zevlag for Hatrack Hero, as he helped several of us regain our Hatrack-abilities today. Isn't he wonderful! Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Yes... seconding the Zevlag vote.
Hooray!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I'd like to know who'll be doing the red-carpet commentary. Can I nominate myself?
fallow
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
2. Best Supporting Newbie - My God, I no longer count for this one, do I. (dances) 4. Best Alternative SN - Pat. PAT PAT AND PAT AGAIN. Trogdor rocks. Also Bob, for Lavalamp. 5. Best Hatrack Couple - Hmmm... Ben/Ophelia needs a nom. 8. Most passionate Arguer - Tresopax and his counterpart Xaposert, also katharina and Belle. 9. Best Hatrack Family - dangermom and all her dangerkids. 11. Best thread Hijack / hijacker - flish/fallow. It just is. 13. Best return from an absence - I'd have to say flish/fallow. 14.Best thread or post that got a response from the moderators - There was that one that got a response from OSC over on t'other side... 15.Best use of graemlins - Hobbes, rivka 18.Best out of context comment - Kama, always.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
quote:I don't remember who wrote it, and it seems to be gone, though.
Strider.
But boy oh boy, he will so believe in me in August.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Some more nominations before the bidding closes:
Best Accent: Belle, Anne, Irami, Mrs.M Best Cinematography (Photos): Mack Best Waste of Time: The Penquin Game
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
As the one who posted the first Penguin Game thread, I'd like to say thanks for the nomination. It will be the only one I am connected with, so I am relishing it. Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Yay! I've been nominated!
Posted by Snarky (Member # 4406) on :
What about an alternate screen name and dobie rolled into one?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Thanks, hansenj. Yep, that was mine!
Posted by Ben (Member # 6117) on :
don't be foolish and waste your best couple nom on lindsay and i. hell, i keep her locked in a cage anytime we are around each other like John Cusack does in Being John Malkovich. how can that be a good thing, i ask!
Posted by Marek (Member # 5404) on :
I think "grow" should win, or at least be nominated, for best wast of time, it was more addictive than freecell.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Excellent - thanks all for nominations. I'll get to work and have category shortlists up soon. Then we can vote! And start a whole lot of corrution and whining in the media! What FUN!
quote: I'd like to know who'll be doing the red-carpet commentary. Can I nominate myself?
It's a deal, Fallow. Warm up your speaking voice and interviewing skills Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Oh, I wanna be fallow's co-anchor (co-interviewer? Co-redcarpetperson?) What say you, fallow? Wanna share the limelight of the pre-show?
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
I also thought I could accessorise by creating my own jewellery in keeping with the shower curtain theme. Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Scythrop,
wow! really?!
*starts practicing joan river's voice*
scyth? can I make absurd ill-informed statements and get everyone's names and roles wrong?
sarcastic,
I would be honored.
fallow
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Excellent Fallow and Sarcy! Can't wait.
And Cochick - I'm definately in favour of the Ducks and Taps curtain, perhaps accessorised with the fish shaped shower curtain rings.
Nominations should be up in a day or so...
cheers tony
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*bounce* Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
sarky-mup,
I think we should coordinate. "I go high, you go low. I go right, you go left? that sorta thing."
scythrop,
Would it be too much of a burden to request notes regarding the luminaries who might put shoe to red?
fallow
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I follow, fallow. We need to work out a game plan. No one will escape us, as hard as they try!
Okay, we need a map of the red carpet area, two microphones, and a bottle of Elmer's glue. Scythrop, will this be out of the Rackademy budget?
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
I, of course, will be delighted to assist in dress and suit/tux selection.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Sarky (do you mind if I call you sarky?),
quote:Okay, we need a map of the red carpet area, two microphones, and a bottle of Elmer's glue.
I like the way you think, sister. A little good cop/bad cop routine might elicit some notable quotables on the carpet. You wanna handle the guys? gals? mix it up? You comment on wardrobe, I'll inform the viewing audience regarding past achievements?
fallow
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
I thought we had another day to get nominations in... Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You DO, Eruve. No one appointed anybody here the official rule-maker, after all.
Make all the nominations you want, whenever you want. If people choose to accept them, great -- and if not, too bad.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Eruve,
Oh, I reckon it was the snailmail postmark date. If you've got'em, send 'em philotically.
fallow
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Eruve - maybe it's because of the crazy time differences?
Either way, as long as you get them in soonish I'm sure Tony will accept them. Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Time differences combined with two days sans Hatrack...
I'm still working up the lists, so get 'em in ASAP and I'll factor them in
Mrs.M - you are hereby appointed official wardrobe co-ordinator for all presenters...
And Sarcy/Fallow. I think that the safest way to go will be to assume a limitless budget. I've also negotiated exclusive commentary rights for the two of you, so you won't have to worry about someone else getting the exclusive.
As to luminaries; I'm expecting all the hatrack literati/glitterati. I'm still waiting to hear back from Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp's people, but I have high hopes...
Now, all we need is someone to script some painfully bad intorductions to the various categories, involving obvious attempts at humor and to be read in a stilted fashion from the autocue. Any takers???
Cheers tony Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Scythrop,
I just realized that there is no host for this thing. I would like to nominate an MC.
fallow
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
Mmm, Johnny Depp is hot....
*cough*
Uh...erm...well, I'm just sorry that I've been away too long to know any of the newbs that are nominated for stuff.
Good luck newbs, and all the rest of you jatraqueros. Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Avadaru,
Yer just the gal I've been looking for. I need some notes on past achievements of the luminaries who'll stride down the carpet.
fallow
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
I'll take on the gentlemen, fallow. Think you can handle the ladies?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
aye.
could use some notes, tho.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Host nominations much appreciated, fallow.
Short lists will be up tonight (Perth Time) for tomorrow (Hatrack Time)
I hope.
I still have to finish my tax return, however.
for 2002.
Hmmm.....
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
If there's time, I'd like to put in one more nomination... for tt&t as Hatrack Hottie!
If not, that's ok, I understand.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
*glare*
Gah, Raia! You're not meant to nominate me against you! I don't *like* losing! Posted by Marek (Member # 5404) on :
*looks at both nominies*
*leaves thread in silance so as not to offend either friend*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
The Hatrack Academy of Arts and Sciences is pleased to announce the shortlists for the first annual ‘Rackademy Awards.
Category One: Best (Really) New Talent Has registered this year, and is still hanging around for reason or reasons unknown, and despite their better judgement.
Nominees:
1. Digging_holes. Some quality work in a number of threads, but for appropriateness to this thread; check out This one
2. Skillery A number of quality contributions to the forum, but I particularly liked their work in regard to Peanut Butter
4. Finally in this category, a joint nomination for Beverly and Mr Porterio Head I think that this dobie is the perfect link for these two!
Category Two: Best Supporting Newbie Registered in the last 12 Months, and has a post count higher than 200.
Nominees:
1. Raia. Difficult to choose a link but I think that for both multiculturalism and spelling, you can't go past this one 2. Eruve Nandiriel Okay, first there's the classic chicken parody followed by Eruve's response... 3. Rivka How could you go past the ask the rebbetzin thread? 4. Derrel who stormed to 1000 posts, and gave us this landmark
Category Three: Best Screen Name
1.Mayday Desaix For a mis-spelled middle name. Check it out here 2. Zotto 3. Sarcasticmuppet 4. tonguetied and twisted. 5. knightswhosayni!
Category Four: Best Alternative SN
1. Megachirops (Icarus) 2. Hot Nathan (T_Smith) 3. Trogdor the Burninator (Pat) 4. Lavalamp (Bob... or Bob's lavalamp) 5. Sarcasm (Jon Boy)
Category Five: Best Hatrack Couple
1. Hobbes and Annie 2. Bob and DKW 3. Mayday and Bernard 4. Ben and Ophelia 5. Jon Boy and Brinestone
1. Bob Scopatz 2. Elizabeth 3. Punwit 4. Fallow 5. Chris Bridges
Category Eight: Most Passionate Arguer
1. Katharina 2. Tresopax 3. Xaposert 4. John L
Category Nine: Best Hatrack Family
1. The Mooses 2. The Ravens 3. DKW /ELJay/Bob/Lavalamp/posable man/smokey 4. OSC/A Rat Named Dog/KaCard
Category Ten: Best thread Hijack / Hijacker Only two nominees here - 1. Lalo 2. Fallow / Flish
The Bob Scopatz special awards for achievement.
Category eleven: Best Landmark
Too many nominations to shortlist - too many brilliant moments shared. Multiple awards to be given out on the night...
Category Twelve: Best Return from an absence
1. Fallow 2. Hmm. No other nominees. I guess this one'll be a walkover....
Category Thirteen: Best Use of Graemlins
1. Hobbes. To understand this nomination, check out this thread 2. Rivka. for outstanding contribution, notably in this thread 3. Imogen. for this effort
Category Fourteen: Hatrack Hottie
1. Ralphie 2. Raia 3. Tonguetied and Twisted 4. Mrs M.
1. Jon Boy Grammar 2. Claudia Therese Medicine 3. A shared nomination for BanaOJ and ak Engineering 4. Zevlag Information Technology 5. Mrs. M. Fashion
and finally THE HUGH JACKMAN AWARD FOR MOST ADORING EXPRESSION OF HOW GREAT YOU THINK A PARTICULAR PERSON / PERSONS / FICTIONAL CHARACTER / GENRE OF CHARACTERS (SUCH AS PIRATES) ARE.
And again, only one nominee:
DKW...dkw said: It's the clothes. There's just something sexy about full-sleeved shirts on men. And then there's the long, curly, dark hair that kind of falls into your face when they kiss you and the short, dark beard sprinkled with gray that's so incredibly . . . *ahem* . . . what was I saying? Oh yeah, pirates. It's the clothes.
So there you go, folks. It's taken three hours, but that's the compilation of everyone's comments. Now, get voting. Email me (address in profile) Your preferred vote in each category. Awards night is only a day or two away, after all...
Cheers all tony
[ May 11, 2004, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
No nomination for Dagonee? He was robbed!!
Did I send an e-mail? Um, no... *looks guilty*
Added: Woah. I got nominated. With Tres and John. *puts head on desk*
Hey, this means I get to pick out a dress!
[ May 11, 2004, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
*psst* Scythrop, I did get nominated for best SN by sarcasticmuppet.
(edit: OMG! I can't believe he linked to the chicken thing! )
[ May 11, 2004, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: Eruve Nandiriel ]
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
I think these categories were biased against Bokonon-type posters. I'm going to lead a protest! Who's with me?!?!
wow I got a nomination!!!! *hugs ak* I couldn't be in better company!!!!
*honored*
AJ
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
*Feels cool about being nominated twice!* *Thinks if a link will be provided for smilies it should be his 2000 post landmark* *Goes back to feeling honored*
Of course, the category is actually "Most Passionate Arguer." Maybe that explains my being left off.
Dagonee
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I meant in the not-a-newbie-but-then-what? category. Totally robbed!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Why thank you! But the Academy often overlooks the true talent. How else has Bruce Campbell not yet been nominated?
Dagonee
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
Mmm, congrats, nominees. Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
So how come I wasn't nominated for best accent?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Your English is perfect.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
oh
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*is very honored*
Um, do I qualify for best supporting newbie? I've been here more than 12 months . . . Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Side note: Kama has my vote for one of the sexiest voices.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
Gotta love when like every couple is nominated except you and your signif.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Oh, there are some other couples not nominated... ludosti and slacker, for example.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
I'm nominated for the best waste of time.
This may be the pinnacle of my young life.
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
You're a hero to us all, Goat.
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
Wow. I've been away for the last couple weeks, and I come back and find myself nominated for best newbie. You have no idea how great an honour this is. Seriously. Just the nomination has made my day. Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Wow. I am ridiculously flattered.
Now, down to business. I am going to start a separate thread for wardrobe, so be on the lookout.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I got nominated for two! I'm so excited!! Yay!
*checks out Mrs. M's thread* Fun clothes! Who needs prom? Posted by Richard Berg (Member # 133) on :
<onanism> I'm disappointed Trogdor didn't nominate my obvious candidate for the dobie award. </onanism>
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Don't be too hurt, Richard; these awards are pretty much the "people who post in the hug thread and hang out in chat" awards. They're like the People's Choice. Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Actually, I'd say they're the people who got nominated awards.
They're meant to be fun and Tony spent a lot of time on them. It irritates me to see people being negative on the basis of who didn't get nominated - if you care, you should have nominated them. If you don't care, don't bring it down for the rest of us.
That's slightly more tetchy then it needs to be - I blame the excessive tetchiness on my being stuck at work. But still. Posted by Richard Berg (Member # 133) on :
Who's being negative? This place is nothing if not amusing.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I had got that impression.
But hey, if I was mistaken and it's all in good fun then feel free to ignore my grumble.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
We'll just have to have a pre-hatrackademy "Golden Racks" where Dag, Bok and I (The Interacktional press corps) give awards as we see fit and also to TV shows and Madonna.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I'm not being negative, imogen. I just think that the pool was not particularly representative of Hatrack. *grin* But I'm not COMPLAINING about it, because I think the people who were inclined to participate in this project are perfectly entitled to experience the forums differently -- and, for that matter, those of us who chose not to participate did so for valid reasons, as well.
So I just wanted to point out (for other people's benefit, not Richard's, as I assumed he knew already) that there's no actual intrinsic merit in "contests" of this sort, so anyone who wasn't nominated should DEFINITELY not feel offended. Taking this thing seriously would be a genuine shame.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Maybe there's another place to do it? There was a lot of work put into this, and no way your comparison was anything but unflattering.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Good point. Although I'm not sure that creating a separate thread purely for the purpose of pointing out that no one should take Hatrack awards seriously in general would really make much more sense. So I'll let it drop here.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
The only thing I'm taking seriously is the clothes. Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
Hmmm.... I think I've taken "splitting the vote" to a whole new level.
Oh well...
<Goes off to start anti-Tresopax smear campaign>
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
quote: Oh, there are some other couples not nominated...
Hence my trendy qualifier "like," Ela. It works just like "almost."
And it just makes my Generation Y status just *that* much more noticeable.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Thanks Tom. And Kat.
I agree - no-one should take this seriously or get offended.
I guess my point was the 'pool' of people reflects those people who were nominated. Nothing else. So everyone who did or didn't participate contributed to that representation.
And Tres - I hear that Xaposert is a dead certainty. You don't have a chance. Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Guys -
Okay, firstly - Dagonee was right. I've just been checking back (again!) over the lists, and you were definately up for most controversial topic arguer. AAARGH! And while I'm happy to accept responsibility for this, I'd like to share a portion of the blame, if I may, with the Australian Commissioner for Taxation, who along with his department, has taken up an inordinately large amount of my mental processing space over the last couple of days. Please feel free to write to the ATO and make your displeasure known. (If you could avoid mentioning me by name, though, that would be great )
And I do hope that most people get that this is all in fun. As I said on page one, it's more a celebration of fluff (everyone's fluff) than anything else. So probably the 'fluffier' members of Hatrack are more likely to rate a mention. (and pleeeeese nobody take offence at that, either. In my book, fluffy is good...) Tom's right - it's not necessarily representative of all of Hatrack. It is fun, though...
quote: I'm disappointed Trogdor didn't nominate my obvious candidate for the dobie award.
Richard. A great Dobie. I agree, it should have been nominated.
quote: We'll just have to have a pre-hatrackademy "Golden Racks" where Dag, Bok and I (The Interacktional press corps) give awards as we see fit and also to TV shows and Madonna.
While I'd support the whole 'Golden Racks' idea, I think it might be more interesting if you guys staged a protest outside the venue on the night - lots of sign waving and yelling. And try to throw fake blood on a celebrity...
Finally, Dagonee - not sure if you want me to put you on the nominees list - I'm more than happy to - but in the interest of improving the overall quality of the evening, can I offer you the position of host? It's still up for grabs. I'd even let you write your own jokes And pick your own presenters. And it gets you free style consultations with Mrs. M.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Oh, no, do not change the nominations now. You're not going to take away my ability to complain good naturedly that easily.
I'm not up for hosting solo, but I'd love to be co-host, preferably with someone funnier than me (I know, make it hard to find someone...). But covering the protestors sounds like more fun.
Dagonee
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Wait a minute...that was MY nomination. Screw anything he says, it should GO ON THE BALLOT!!!!!
*leaps with rage*
Just cause I think you have a good chance Dag.
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
The glam is a sham! The glam is a sham!
-Bok
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
I would have thought I would have made it for being controversial. I do have some radical opinions sometimes.
Like Tom said, no reason to take it personal though. Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Clearly Tony should be nominated for the controversy award.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Scythrop,
Sorry if I missed this, but who is gonna MC this thing? Who's presenting?
fallow
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Well. Yay for being nominated twice! *giggle* Although, the competition I'm up against? I don't stand a chance. Hmm... maybe if I get rid of them all... ::shifty eyes:: Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
See - another benefit to being left off the ballot: Narnia outraged on my behalf.
Better than any shiny statuette.
As for protests, how about we protest turtlenecks? Do you know how many turtles have to die to make one turtleneck sweater?
Dagonee
[ May 12, 2004, 09:22 AM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
It all depends on the size of the turtles used.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
I can't believe I never even saw/read this thread. Until after Dan_Raven posted his follow-up...
Farmgirl
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I myself am on the Save The Buffalo Wings mailing list. They would make a great protest group.
Do you realize there is not a mature Buffalo left in this hemisphere with wings? They are all harvested for those deliscious appetizers.
Excuse me, have an urge to run to Hooters.
[ May 12, 2004, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Hmmmmm....Buffalo Wings.
One of the few problems with living in Australia, there's just no decent buffalo wings.
I'm going to stop now, before I derail my own thread too badly Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Also, I meant to say that I nominated dangermom and her dangerkids for best family, and they're not up there.
Edit: However, the mom I really wanted to nominate was Boon... ACK! My inability to remember ppls. Sorry Boon! Boon and LegoMan and BarbieBiker...
[ May 13, 2004, 04:19 AM: Message edited by: Ryuko ]
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
*hereby votes for tonguetied&twisted for both "Best Screen Name" and "Hatrack Hottie"*
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
And if there's a category for this, I'd like to nominate Kylie as my personal favorite for testing out the veracity of her screenname. If her tongue can do half the things her name brags it can, I must meet her.
I suppose I could nominate Becky for this category, too, but imagining the context in which I'd get her to cry "ni!" would just get her boyfriend all upset with me.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
*votes for tonguetied&twisted for Hatrack Hottie* Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
My vote goes to tonguetied&twisted for Hatrack Hottie...Hmm...and for Best Screen Name, too.
[ May 13, 2004, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: Mabus ]
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I just want to say there should be an honorary award for "lamest string of dobies.... ever" given to all who participated in that fiasco.
Posted by Dillon (Member # 6536) on :
Award Tonguetied&twisted for THE HOTTIE! and of course best Screename:) She deserves it because I said so.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
::votes for ttt in whatever categories she's in::
edit: categories are Best SN and Hottie.
[ May 13, 2004, 09:26 PM: Message edited by: Rappin' Ronnie Reagan ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I'd like to nominate Rivka, Ladydove, Shan, ak, Tom D. or T_Smith as MC.
fallow
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
The awards show is the 15th, neh? Which is Saturday. I won't be on until close to 9 PM Pacific.
I suggest not waiting for me. [Addit: so I wouldn't make a good MC]
[ May 13, 2004, 10:25 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
Don't wait for me either. I may not be there at all. I will be if I can, though. There's no knowing ahead of time.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I also like to express my appreciation both to my fans for nominating me and to Scythrop for allowing a known hijacker to participate in the festivities.
Also, I'd like to extend some thanks to Sarcasticmuppet for her offer to do the grunt work with me.
cheers
fallow
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*also votes for tt&t as Hatrack Hottie* Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Raia! You know I blame you for all of this!
(*giggle* And you know I voted for you, too, so NYA!) Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*approaches hatrack hotling*
*leans on nearest wall*
"say TT *cough* and er.. uh T?"
*glances downward*
"nice shoes!'
*kicks pebble*
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I've been trying to get the word out about voting for the Davis Family, but this attempt .
Maybe I need to use one of them there high end publicity agencies?
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
While I'm honored to be nominated in the "Best Pun / Punster" category, that one'll go to Bob in a walk so I'll just show up for the paparazzi and because my agent thinks it's good for my career.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Of course, if there had been a best column award, Chris would have won no questions asked...
... hmm, I have an in with the organisor. Maybe I can arrange an honorary award. Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Hmmmm...
*ponders*
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
This voter still hasn't received any gift baskets with Rolexes and fancy jewelery.
Dagonee
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:This voter still hasn't received any gift baskets with Rolexes and fancy jewelery.
Psst, Dag...
To get those kind of perks, you need to find a way to break into Hollywood Foreign Press Association and be a judge in the Golden Globe awards!
Don't tell anyone, though. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm a trend leader.
Really I am. I wore a flannel shirt the first time I went to Seattle, and look what happened there...
Dagonee
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Dag, don't brag about that. I think the introduction of Flannel to seatle may be considered a "Crime against Humanity."
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
It was an accident, when I was unaware of the extent of my powers.
I guess I'd better not mention the time I lost a bet and had to wear parachute pants for a day.
Dagonee
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Well folks, the votes are in, the red carpet's rolled out, and I've just realised I was supposed to get this thing up and running 24 hours ago, (I've decided to attribute the delay to 'security issues') so what do you say, shall we get this show on the road?
*Cue* Loud music....
Good evening and WELCOME to the first ever 'RACKADEMY AWARDS' - the night / morning / whatever time of day it is where you are. We're here at the world famous Taiwanese Theatre in downtown Bollywood, and already clebrities and other random people we don't care about are arriving out front, so let's cross to the red carpet and our team of expert commentators and interviewers;
Style guru FALLOW, best known for his work with Steve Guttenberg in the straight to video movie; Police Academy 57: Geriatrics on Patrol.
Joining him is the woman whoose performance on Hatrack Idol moved the judges to tears, and of whom Kermit the Frog once said "no, never heard of her." It's over to you, Sarcasticmuppet...
Guys, what's the atmosphere like down there at the moment?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*presses microphone to diving helmet and speaks - inaudibly*
*gestures to sarcasticmuppet*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*ditches helmet, directs cameraman*
Well, as you might imagine, the atmosphere down here is thick with anticipation. *points OS*
back to you Scythrop.
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
*wonders why the commercial breaks are so lengthy and numerous*
*starts zapping* Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*removes remaining diving gear*
*lights up a ciggie and surveys the empty carpet*
Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
If Toni was not even NOMINATED for best return from absense, much less not giving her the award no question, then this whole thing isn't worth the storage space it is taking up.
Edit: Sorry, accidently posted this in the Troy thread Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*cameraman tracks finger up to 9th floor window and zooms in*
[ May 15, 2004, 11:53 PM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
Screams from the crowd cos she thinks she sees Orlando Bloom - then realises its only fallow!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*screams*
*tackles cochick*
"get down!"
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
"How is my hair, it feels like it's falling out in the back. Do I have anything in my teeth? No? Great. What do you mean I'm on the...*looks at camera* Thank you, Scy. It's a pleasure to be here at the Taiwanese Theatre with my wonderful cohost, fallow. We're here, live on the red carpet, hoping to shmooze with the regulars and newbies alike as we await the first ever Rackademy Awards. Fallow, for crying out loud, your mussing cochick's outfit. Cochick, what do you think of tonight's nominees? Some are saying that Imogen will take the best dobie award, but others are going with Kama. Where do you stand?"
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I see I didn't miss much, after all.
*settles in the peanut gallery with a bucket of popcorn*
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
*stands behind Muppet, waving both arms wildly and grinning at some friends off camara*
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
*wishes fallow really was Orlando Bloom*
What, oh you're talking to me - urm (becomes dumb struck when she realises she's on camera) - yeah I agree, super, the best ever, err!
*smiles and edges out of camera's range*
[ May 16, 2004, 12:17 AM: Message edited by: cochick ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*timidly stands and tries to tidy cochick*
*slinks up alongside sarcastic*
*whispers*
"sorry, thought we had a sniper. there was a 'we love ralphie' sign in the window"
*points up at empty window*
[ May 16, 2004, 12:16 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*looks at empty window*
*sighs and goes on with show*
"Oh, and here's our first nominee for the evening. Rivka, your excellent work in the "Ask the Rebbitzin" thread has earned you a nomination for Best Supporting Newbie. How are you feeling tonight?"
[ May 16, 2004, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*thumps mike*
is this thing on?
*nudges muppet and whispers*
"you look wonderful!"
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
and you, fallow. You are looking quite sharp tonight. Who are you wearing this evening?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Well, it's an honor to be nominated, of course. Best of luck to all the nominees!
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
"Indeed...best of luck to all the nominees *flashes camera a huge smile*. Just one more question, Rivka--who are you wearing tonight?"
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*makes CUT gesture at cameraman*
um... well, apart from my pure alabaster form, I'm wearing a bit of cochick fur. Soon I expect to be dribbling some babyfood down myself during the tastetest game.
*points at diving suit*
that thing didn't work out so well. it was a bit hot.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
You're not naked, are you? Oh, the FCA's gonna have a fit!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Who am I wearing? Oh! You mean the sleepy child draped over my shoulder! That's Shira.
'Scuse us. We're heading back to out seats.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
*pushes through the crowds of people trying to get a glimpse of the red carpet*
I LOVE YOU, JOHNNY DEPP!!
.......wait.
*runs away*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
muppet?
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
*sits down by rivka*
Wow, you're looking good! I like your hair that way...
*waves to everyone*
Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
*psssst*
I may be wrong here TT&T, but I don't think you'd really be able to see rivka's hair...
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I'm here!
I'm wearing Carolina Herrera, as picked by Hatrack's resident style guru, Mrs M.
I also have ridiculously high heels on...
*falls onto rivka and tt&t*
oops, sorry!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*raises eyebrow at Xav*
It is hair, and it is mine (that is, I own it), so I guess it is "rivka's hair" -- technically, at least.
Thanks, tt&t.
Hey im, come sit with us!
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
You're welcome.
Hi Imogen! Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
sarcastic?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Imogen, TT&T ?
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Wow I figured I would have to watch the rerun at the after party.
[ May 16, 2004, 01:34 AM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
wiggen,
nobody even showed for the event. how can there be an after party?
fallow
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
well I didn't know no one showed till about 5-10 min ago so till then...
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
hey - who you calling a nobody - I showed!
*goes to bed to sulk*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*trips cochick*
sorry.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Okay. So, things outside on the Red Carpet seem to be a little slow, let's cross to the inside of the theatre and your host....
(oh no)
*realises he didn't organise a host*
uhmmm...
Fallow? Feel like getting your diving gear back on?
please?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*sets to rolling up the carpet*
*hears a buzzing sound*
*pulls mic to lips*
scythrop, is that you? what's going on inside? nothing much out here. looks like a no show.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
No, I'm here. It's all on. Technical difficulties, but we're all set to go, now.
Except that Billy Crystal pulled out at the last minute.
Want to co-host with me?
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*uses a surgical tubing slingshot to launch Skillery for president T-shirts into the crowd of onlookers*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
AAARGH!!! MY EYE!!! Who shot this T-Shirt at me???
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*snags t-shirt*
skillery,
have you seen that diving costume you lent me?
fallow
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Okay, Firstly, the award for Best Newbie, and Fallow, I have to say, there’s a lot of newbies in this category.
*canned laughter*
*mystified looks from audience*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*snags scythrop's wrist*
scy? *points at mystified onlooker*
we're still outside the theater.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Ah. That would explain the draught....
*regrets wearing a kilt*
*goes inside quickly*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
I don't know about the rubber diver's suit, but that lady over there is wearing the helmet. She borrowed it to change a nasty diaper.
*launches soiled nappy into the crowd*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Gets up on stage. Looks around.*
That's better. Now, the first category is for Best Newcomer, and I have to say, there are a lot of newbies in this cat.
*checks autocue*
...egory.
*Mystified looks from audience*
[ May 16, 2004, 02:20 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
uhm. *decides to plough on regardless, and get this whole thing over and done with*
And the nominees are: Digging_holes. Skillery Want2Write Beverly and Mr Porterio Head
So, let’s open the envelope.
*Struggles with envelope*
Garn
Er, has anyone got some scissors?
*Stagehand passes up a pocketknife*
And,
The winner…
Is…
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
DIGGING HOLES!!!!
*Cue Music Cut to Digging_holes sitting in audience looking surprised and hugging everyone nearby while making his way to the stage*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*barges onto stage wearing a rubber diver's suit, and heavy goggles, carrying a sledge-o-matic in one hand, and towing a wagonload of assorted large fruits with the other*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*applauds*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*mutters to self "show must go on"*
*digs around in prop-bucket and plucks holey mask from. stumbles up the stairs*
*sucks air and approaches podium*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*backs away from the stage while applauding* Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
It would appear that Digging Holes will be posting his thankyou speech a little later in the ceremony, so let’s move on to category two: Best Supporting Newbie Registered in the last 12 Months, and has a post count higher than 200, would you please make welcome our very special guest presenter, SKILLERY!!
Oh. You’re here already. Good, then…
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Digging_holes was MY nominee, I'll have you know! WOO!
*hugs David*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*points at skillery*
"murrhphleity mrrrhphly trummphle merf!"
*pulls mask off*
"that's no way to treat a melon, you fool!"
edit: *snags safety goggles*
[ May 16, 2004, 02:32 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Grimly ignoring flying squash*
So, the nominees for Best Supporting Newbie are:
Raia. Eruve Nandiriel Rivka Derrel
And, Skillery, I must say, it's an awfully talented field, don't you think?
[ May 16, 2004, 02:33 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*showers the first three rows with bits of juicy pineapple*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*decides fruit salad would be nice and grabs a bowl waiting for more fruit to fly*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*yanks breathing tube from face*
tt&t
wish me luck!
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
*does that annoying, delayed, single-man clapping for digging_holes after all the other applause has died off*
"Congratulations!"
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Fights down sudden craving for pineapple pizza*
Can I have the envelope, please?
*Wrests envelope from Skillery*
And the winner of BEST SUPPORTING NEWBIE for 2004 is....
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Good luck, fallow!
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Yep, mighty fine crop of...
bananas!
My money's on Derrell though.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*opens envelope. Looks at result. Does a little dance*
OH WOW!!!! IT'S RIVKA!!!
*loud music*
Camera zooms in on Astounded looking Rivka, and then cuts to all other nominees, clapping, but clearly pissed...
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Woo! GO RIVKA!! Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Congrats Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*jaw drops*
Um, I don't have anything prepared. I, uh, would like to thank the Cards, for giving us all Hatrack, and all the great jatraqueros who make this place so much fun!
Thanks!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Crowd Goes Absolutely NUTS*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*expires in diving suit*
*claps hand to faceplate, repeatedly, and with gusto*
[ May 16, 2004, 02:42 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Music comes up and cuts off Rivka*
Thanks Rivka. In the meantime, let’s move right along to Category Three: Best Screen Name. And I have to say, the competition here was intense. I mean, really, intense. Hard fought. Almost interesting...
Fallow, what's your thoughts on this category?
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
*claps wildly for rivka*
*gushes* I am so happy for you!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Fallow? Get up?
Hmmm. Well, in any case, the nominees for best SN are:
Mayday Desaix Zotto Sarcasticmuppet tonguetied and twisted knightswhosayni
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*gives scythrop a thumbsup and raspberry*
*slinks into the audience and settles next to TT&T*
whaddya think? pretty classy, eh?
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Pure Class.
Anyway, I have the envelope.
Oh, wait. No I don't...
Wanders off sidestage to build tension*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*has heard that durians have been banned from indoor venues*
*wonders if anyone has ever been splattered by durian before*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Re-enters clutching gold and slightly smoking envelope*
*Opens it*
*Ducks from flying Durian*
And the winner of the OSCar for “Best SN”
Is….
*loooong Pause*
Tonguetied and Twisted!!!!!!!
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Congrats, tt&t! Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*stops warming TT&T's seat*
*vaults onstage*
"And the next category is? scythrop?"
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
*bounce*
Yay! Thank you to everyone, my supporters, and, er, well, oh gosh! You guys are just so awesome! *giggle* Oh, and especially thank you to Pink Floyd. Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*passes out from the smell of over-ripe durian*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Right Then, well, Category Four is the OSCar for “Best Alternative SN” And I have to say, this was a difficult decision, what with so many “Alternatives” to choose from…
*waits for laughter.*
*Grasshopper chirps*
Er. Okay. Well then, the nominees are…
Megachirops (Icarus) Hot Nathan (T_Smith) Trogdor the Burninator (Pat) Lavalamp (Bob... or Bob's lavalamp) Sarcasm (Jon Boy)
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*runs offstage in a hail of durian*
*spike*
Ouch!
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Alas, but now I must away. I shall be back, never fear!
Fallow, can you applaud twice as loud to make up for my absence?
*runs off into night*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Grabs envelope. Wipes of Smears of Durian.*
And the winner is....
MEGACHIROPS!!!!!
*Cue loud, alternative music.*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*enters stage right with a cricket bat*
*hovers near Scythrop's podium*
"next one of your bastards that tosses spikey fruit?!"
*pats bat*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*applauds* Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Phew. A minder. Awesome…Righto, then, next we have the award for “Best Hatrack Couple”, and you know, there were a ‘couple’ of choices to be made here!!!
*chirp*
Yes. Well, then… the nominees are….
Hobbes and Annie Bob and DKW Mayday and Bernard Ben and Ophelia Jon Boy and Brinestone
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*chucks a pinaple at fallow*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*leans over to scythrop*
*whispers*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*pineapple wizzes past ear*
"what's with the audience?"
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*pitches a basket of moldy strawberrys to Fallow*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
I thought we was playin a game with your bat. O well.
[ May 16, 2004, 03:04 AM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Whispers back*
Don't worry about them. Just keep working on your batting average.
Anyway, the winner of the award for Best Hatrack Couple is....
*opens envelope*
HOBBES AND ANNIE!!!!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*plucks carnation from mouldy basket*
"thanks skillery!"
*bows, kicks strawberry jam into the first row and resumes pose*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
WAY TO GO Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
And it would appear that Hobbes and Annie will be accepting their award a little later in the thread. In the meantime, please welcome back to the stage our special guest presenter for Category Six: Best Dobie, Rivka. And Rivka, can I just say, you’re looking stunning this evening. Even more so than usual…
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*drops bat*
*munches carnation*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*prepares a mess of codfish for sledging*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
uhm...Rivka...you still here?
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*heads to the back of the room trying not to gag from the stench of fish*
[ May 16, 2004, 03:08 AM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Um, thanks. I was sure I checked "no" on that "will you be a special presenter" form!
*sigh*
From time immemorial, dobies have been a tradition at Hatrack. Though their origins are shrouded in mystery, one thing is sure -- either you love them, or you hate them!
And the nominees for best dobie are:
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
I'll just edit this so it makes a little more sense. I know you ticked the no box, but we just had to see you up here one more time... anyway
the nominees are…
Imogen for Good COD OSC! Kama for List of things I need to do Papa Moose for Hatrack Infinity
[ May 16, 2004, 03:09 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*claps fins together*
orp! orp!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
On behalf of myself and my beloved Annie, I accept this award. Thank-you all for your kind words and understanding attitude, we love you all! ... though not as much as we Love each other.
Hobbes Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Well, there you go, folks. Love is all you need
SO, anyway, Rivka, shall we open the envelope?
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
pheeew! This ain't good cod!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*waddles after hobbes*
orp?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*opens envelope*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
OMG! the OSCar is a TIE between Imogen and Papa Moose!
*Crowd goes completely and utterly beserk*
[ May 16, 2004, 03:14 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*swings the sledge*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*smacks lips*
*fantasizes about salty sardines*
orp?
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
I'd like to accept this award on behalf of Imogen who is doing real work and can't be here, but who will, I'm sure post her own thankyous later in the thread.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I tied! I tied!
And I can't think of a better dobie to share to top billing with.
Except mine of course.
Thank you to all my loyal fans and followers.
*gets off stage without tripping over high heels*
phew. Mrs M would be so proud!
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Or who may be on a break from real work while emailing her supervisor...
[ May 16, 2004, 03:16 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Way to go both of you! Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*smacks salty lips*
orp!
ORP! ORP! ORP!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Congrats to Pop and Im!
*returns to seat*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
oh. so she is here.
YAY
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Reads off autocue*
And now, Category Seven the award for Best Pun / Punster ,and it’s clear to me that this award is clearly just for pun.
Right. That’s it.
*Picks up Cod and smashes Autocue*
And the nominees are
Bob Scopatz Elizabeth Punwit Fallow Chris Bridges
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*throws a seald can of ancovies to fallow*
Sorry I dont want to gag my self.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*nudges scythrop*
orp?
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*goes backstage to reload*
*has raided the dumpster behind Mr. Donuts*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*nudges rivka*
"pelt's getting a little dry - spritzer?"
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
And the winner
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Hey skillery save me one of those green and black fuzzy ones.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I guess some of the puns are hard acts to fallow. But we have to Chris the Bridge and announce a winner. Scopatz all the introduction I'm going to give it....
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
of the award for Best Pun/Punster...
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
...is....
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
d'Orp
*covers eyes with flappers*
*gulp*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
BOB SCOPATZ!!!!!!
*promises no more gratuitous post whoring*
*though no guarentees on pre-whoring*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
better luck next year fallow. And congrats to Bob.
[ May 16, 2004, 03:27 AM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Unfortunately Bob can't be with us today. But we are hoping that lavalamp will make an appearance later to accept the award on Bob's behalf.
*cue cheesy music*
Congrats Bob!
Edit - Here fallow. Have some ocean brim instead. Orp?
[ May 16, 2004, 03:27 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
orp! orp! orp!
*leans into scythrop and whispers*
"where'd that person head off to?"
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Which Brings us to Category Eight The OSCar for “Most Passionate Arguer” And we really had a fight on our hands deciding this one, I can tell you.
*chirps*
And the nominees are…
Katharina Tresopax Xaposert John L
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
ORP - I mean wait a cotton-pickin minute here!
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
scythop did you come up with these ahead of time or is this on the spot?
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
but i'm not pickin cotton.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
nevermind. *applies salve to rash*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
It's all on the spot. Really. Which means I'm spending longer on them than your standard award night scriptwriter...
Anyway, the winner of the OSCar for "Most Passionate Arguer"
Is....
Katharina!!!
No it isn't
Yes it is
No it isn't and let me tell you why.It's all to do with Homosexual marriage.
YES IT IS Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Yay, Katie! Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Yay, Katharina!
Hey, that can be sung to the tune of The Macarena.
*wanders off singing under breath...*
Darn irritating though. The tune. Not Katharina.
[ May 16, 2004, 03:37 AM: Message edited by: imogen ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*entire crowd breaks into heated debate over the merits of this award. Cut to Katharina, who looks both stunned and stunning*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*does cartwheel and ends in config of K*
orp? *scans audience for anchovies*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*crosses flippers to the beat of the macarena*
Posted by Leo Tolstoy (Member # 6436) on :
Congratulations from Great Russian Novelist!
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*puts on breathing mask and leaves a trail of anchovies leading in to a poorly hidden cage*
Can't wait to see what I get for him at the circus.
[ May 16, 2004, 03:41 AM: Message edited by: The Wiggin ]
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
You know, families are an important factor of Hatrack. They’ve bought us moments of great joy, and great pathos. Without families, there’d be nobody to fight with during long car trips. And so it gives me great pleasure to announce the nominees for Category Nine: Best Hatrack Family
The Mooses The Ravens DKW /ELJay/Bob/Lavalamp/posable man/smokey OSC/A Rat Named Dog/KaCard
I should also add that this has turned out to be one of the more controversial competitions, with fierce lobbying from certain parties in a brave attempt to swing the tide of the vote. But anyway, the winners are…
*Drumroll*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Opens Envelope*
*Gets paper cut*
Sucks thumb while announcing...
"Tphe Moophses"
*CROWD GOES SLAP HAPPY WITH DELERIOUS JOY*
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
good for yall
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*waddles as fast as his flippers will take him*
*narfs anchovies along the way*
*narf* "orp!" *narf narf*
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
And that's two OSCars for Pop...
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
It would appear that The moose family are currently engaged in other familial activites, and will no doubt accept their award later in the evening. Congratulations to all of them.
And now, please welcome to the stage, another special guest presenter, author of "War and Peace" and one of the great Novelists of the 20th Century,
Mr Leo Tolstoy
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*dons diver helmet*
Posted by Leo Tolstoy (Member # 6436) on :
Thank you Scythrop. It is being pleasure to be here.
*reads recently repaired Autocue*
Okay, nobody, move. This argument is loaded, and I’m prepared to use it. Now, Tale this thread to Cuba!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it pleases me to announce the nominees for Category Ten: Best thread Hijack / Hijacker
Lalo Fallow / Flish
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
Sturgeon!!!
*dives*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Thank you Leo.
May I have the envelope, please?
*Retrieves envelope from inside Diver's helmet*
and the winner, is...
LALO!!!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*where's that afterparty?*
roe is me!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Lalo couldn't be here to accept this award personally, but he has asked me to say that the major problem facing the world at the moment is Bush, and that the sooner people wake up to the problems with this administration, the more likely we are to be able to actually....
*Music swells and cuts off speech*
This brings us to the end of the first part of the ceremony, and to the beginning of the BOB SCOPATZ SPECIAL AWARDS FOR ACHIEVEMENT.
The first category in these awards is the Best Return from Absence, award, and as there is only One nominee, it gives me great pleasure to give the award to everyone Favourite diving seal,
FALLOW!
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Way to go that was a close one I didn't think you would get it!! Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
*showers fallow, stage and audience with anchovies*
Woo-hoo!
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
scy,
orp!
danke-orp!
fallow
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*starts jumping around and freaking out trying to get the dead fishys off*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*snarfle narf narf*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
*Sweeping anchovies off podium*
Well done, Fallow. Well done indeed...
Now...
Love them or not, it looks like the smiley is here to stay, and so here are the nominees for the award for “Best Use of Graemlins”
Hobbes. Rivka. Imogen.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
You know, something makes me think that this may be the middle of the night for most hatrackers.
Either that, or they all took the wrong turn off the interstate. I hear it happens.
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
*throws a dead fishy in imogens face*
did you have to do that?
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
orp?!
*signs* regular crust next time (flips imaginary pizza dough in air)
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
We apologies for that break in programming. And despite what they're saying on AIM the organisers of the Racademy Awards (tm) deny all responsibilty for breaking Hatrack.
Now...
the winner of the OSCar for "Best use of Graemlins" is...
*opens envelope*
HOBBES Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
Weird, I thought Ralphie was nominated for that one too.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
::applauds:: Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Okay, and now to one of the most hotly contested and also highest polling Categories in the whole competition, that being category Fourteen: Hatrack Hottie. And before we go any further with this one, I’d just like to congratulate all the nominees and say that in my opinion the real winner in this category is Hatrack…
That said, the nominees are…
Ralphie Raia Tonguetied and Twisted Mrs M.
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
*grips her chair in anticipation*
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Well, Toni's had this one tied up for years!
She has it hands down!
Woo Ralphie!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
And...
*opens envelope*
WHO'D HAVE BELEIVED IT -
Tonguetied and Twisted TAKES OUT HER SECOND CATEGORY FOR THE EVENING!!!!!
*Cue New Zealand National Anthem*
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
*stands in ovation and cheers wildly*
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Good Golly Gosh!
*is astounded*
*hugs Zotto!*
*speechless*
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Camera Cuts to TT&T who looks totally unbelieving...
Makes her stunned way to the podium
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
*cheers* Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Living as we do in a global community, it’s important to acknowledge all members of our world wide family. These are the nominees for Category Fifteen, Best Accent.
Belle Anna Irami Mrs.M Troubador
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
And the winner is....
ANNA!!!!
(yay!)
*Accepts this award on her behalf, given that it's the middle of the night in France, and I suspect she might be on her honeymoon about now, anyway*
And so now, we get to that part of the evening where it's down to the final awards, and the programme's running overtime, and most people have tuned out, and everyone just wants to get to the after party. So in the interests of speeding things along a little, I'm going to post the final three awards in one post, please standby....
[ May 16, 2004, 04:51 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Makes total sense. In awe of Kylie's beauty, I'd just like to say Bush is a corrupt warmongering bastard whose policies have led to nothing but economic collapse, social decline, foreign chaos and antagonism, and the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent people for the sake of securing both oil and large bloated taxpayer-bought contracts for his masters.
Kylie really is beautiful.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
In Category Sixteen we have the nominees for Best Waste of Time. One of the important things about living in a technological age is having the opportunity to waste your employer’s time and resources playing on the internet. No longer need we be content with solitaire, either, as the nominees in our next category prove…
The nominees for Best Waste of Time
Advice for Robots -The Penguin Game Fiazko - The Helicopter Game Da_Goat - Defend your Castle
And the winner is…
*Opens envelope*
ALL OF THEM!!! THAT’S RIGHT IT’S A THREE WAY TIE
*wipes flecks of spit off Microphone…
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
No Forum would be complete without its Resident Experts – those people who can always be counted on to share their particular expertise freely and with the greatest of care. The nominees for “Resident Expert” are
Jon Boy Grammar Claudia Therese Medicine A shared nomination for BanaOJ and ak Engineering Zevlag Information Technology Mrs. M. Fashion
And the winner is
JON BOY!!! For his expertise in the field of Grammar!
And given that it’s also the middle of the night in the US, I’m pleased to accept this award on Jon Boy’s Behalf..
and finally THE HUGH JACKMAN AWARD FOR MOST ADORING EXPRESSION OF HOW GREAT YOU THINK A PARTICULAR PERSON / PERSONS / FICTIONAL CHARACTER / GENRE OF CHARACTERS (SUCH AS PIRATES) ARE.
I don’t think this category needs any further explanation, and so I’m pleased to award it to the only nominee…
DKW!
SO there you are folks, that's it. All the awards done, and with only a minimum of fuss and tears. Congratulations and Thanks to all who nominated, were nominated, weren't nominated, voted, contributed to the broadcast or ignored the thread completely. I salute you all.
If anyone else wants to run these things next year, please feel free...
Cheers and beers tony Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
You missed one...
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
I'd like to extend a very special thanks to our host! You did a great job, Tony!
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Which one? (That I missed, that is)
[ May 16, 2004, 05:18 AM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
The Landmark one.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
::applauds everyone::
::applauds Tony::
::applauds in general::
And, er, thank you, Eddie. Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I think the decision was that landmarks are both of too high quality and often too personal to pick between.
So all landmarks get their own little OSCar.
Of course, I think all landmarks that got half written but then never posted should also get an OSCar... Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Congrats to all
good luck to all for next year (there will be a next year right?)
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
*rant* "Why did no-one tell me there was a limit to the number of emoticons you can use in one post?
It took me ages to prepare this thread and then it went and disappeared and now I’m going to have to try and remember it all"
Oh no! I slept through all the fish and fruit
although that could be a good thing
well congrats to all the winners
and to all the losers
I think all those who didn’t get nominated should be awarded a little OSCar too
by the way I reckon The Ravens were robbed (can you adopt me please)
EDITED: used an emoticon that I needed in the next thread and I'm not using one twice so had to substitute (can't use anymore emoticons in this thread so I thought I'd use this)
[ May 16, 2004, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: cochick ]
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
although the Mooses are wonderful too (especially mini and super station who I hope haven’t inherited there Dads gift for sarcasm)
oh and well done and much applause to scythrop and fallow for a job well done (each)
oh and the awards fallow
so now its off to the party
where I hope to get the numbers for as many good looking male hatrackers as possible
(please note that some of us are already working on next years nominations for best use of emoticons
seen as I won’t fit any of the newbie categories by then
[ May 16, 2004, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: cochick ]
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
*calmed down but still sulky*– "That’s longer than the first post but that serves you right for making it disappear"
and I enjoyed all the outfits too
except the one fallow had on when he removed the diving suit
and then rolled on me
I think Mrs M. deserves a special round of applause for all her hard work and talent
plus having it that that time of night meant the speeches were nice and short too
oh and be warned if I don't get nominated for something next year I'm gonna threaten to leave
now there's only 7 more of these suckers to use so I can do it with one mor thread Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
so you're getting sick of me now are you!
bet you wished you'd nominated me for something now don't you
even if it was only most annoying jatraquero
I do try and argue stuff out but I either get ignored
or it seems to kill the thread until I've gone away
you know I'm beginning to get an inferiority complex
like you all run away when you see me posting and gather together on some aim chat until I've gone away and are laughing at me behind my back Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I have to say, this was a fun read -- you all did a great job on the awards ceremony.
LOL.
I'm sorry I couldn't participate in the actual thing, but it was really funny reading it.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Hobbes Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
Don't even thing about it Hobbes - there's no beating me next year
Oh and Bob you have to post a belated acceptance speech!
[ May 16, 2004, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: cochick ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*rouses self from gluttonous anchovie stupor*
*surveys the nightmarish fish and fruit splattered theater*
Lordy! I wonder if the management will even allow us to rent the place next year.
Posted by The Wiggin (Member # 5020) on :
Mabey we need an outdoors ceromony next year.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I would first like to congradulate all of the winners.
**does most sincere fake smile possible for camera.**
Especially to the Mooses. I can--not think of a more deserving family to win this honor.
Further I wish to thank all the little people who put this together. ***grumble grumble--on the take. grumble grumble***. They did a remarkable job.
And for those of you who actually voted for us, my deepest thanks as well. *** suckers.***
Finally, I look forward to next years awards. Now, where's the booze. **grumble grumble sour grapes, stick their trophy up ... grumble grumble.**
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Congrats all! Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: WHO'D HAVE BELEIVED IT -
Tonguetied and Twisted TAKES OUT HER SECOND CATEGORY FOR THE EVENING!!!!
Oh, WHO called that one????
Um, I believe I... yeah, I definitely think it was me! Congrats, Kylie! Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I won! Oh my gosh! I don't know what to say. I'd like to thank all the people who made this possible: my lovely wife Ruth, my mom and dad, my friends, my first-grade teacher, my professors in college, and, of course, all the people of Hatrack.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Wow! I won! I hardly know what to say! First, I'd like to thank Mrs. M for the wonderful gown I am wearing this evening. I'd like to thank my older brother for giving me so much practice, OSC for the confidence, and, of course, my noble adversaeries for the opportunity. All of Hatrack, especially, deserves to share in this award. It belongs to all of us. But I'm just keeping it here on my mantle. Thank you.
*blows kisses* Thank you!
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
This was the best idea that we've all played along with in a LONG time.
Congratulations to all the winners! Especially the newbie award-winner David!!! (Now I'll refer to you as the OSCar winning newbie whenever I need to drop some names around. )
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
when y'all are done with the back-patting would you mind a little back-bending? this place is a freakin' mess. (this means YOU)
I'd like to pat Scythrop on the back for an impressive display of hostability.
*passes a broom and Scythrop's MC biz card to any comers*
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
*utter shock*
I can't believe I actually won!
I am dumbfounded and flabbergasted, to name but a few. Thanks to Kylie for nominating me, and to everyone who mysteriously voted for me, and to Hatrack for being here. And congratulations to all the other winners. Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*empties bucket of rotten achovies and decomposing durian into the dumpster out back*
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*wanders up to the projection booth*
*cleans slime off projector*
"that skillery's some kinda shot"
*shrugs, chuckles and windexes the whole room*
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
Sweet. I am 33% of the biggest waste of time on Hatrack.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
squeegees Goat down to 13%, polishes and releases.
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*puts on engineer hat*
strokes da Goat down to a lean 0.02% body fat.
*cues workout music*
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
A three-way tie--that means we all got the same number of votes, i.e. 0.
What an honor. Thank you.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I would have voted for you, but I was wasting time doing something.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
*sulking at home in a bathrobe*
I didn't get nominated for anything. I'm too old to be a hottie. I can't get any movie stars to give me the eye. And Mrs. M. didn't get my dress done on time.
I wonder if I can still go to the parties?
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
quote:I would first like to congradulate all of the winners.
**does most sincere fake smile possible for camera.**
Especially to the Mooses. I can--not think of a more deserving family to win this honor.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Just votes? Not nominations, then a short-list of nominees, and a final vote for winners?
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
Hi Imogen!![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I can't believe he linked to the chicken thing! ![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
Yay!![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
(there will be a next year right?)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Sleep]](graemlins/sleep.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
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