My friend K. and I went to the movies today. I had to have MY husband work out the time and stuff with HER husband, because she wouldn't tell me why the time I wanted to go waouldn't work for her (Turns out it was because her husband has never put their children to bed, so she has to be there to do it )
We saw Troy. We were nearly late, but used the previews to get snacks. The concessions guy asked if we were familiar with the story of Troy. I let K. talk, and she was like, story shmory.
Concession guy: So, are you just Brad Pitt fans?
Me: (lightbulb goes off over my head-- NOW I realize why she demanded that her husband let her go see Troy with me, even made sure he asked us at lunch the other day (at least I was present for part of the planning of the outing -- K. wasn't) She's got a Super Secret Orlando Bloom fetish! Turns out, I'm the ONLY one who knows about this, except a few hundred of you, now )
K. then shocks me by saying to the guy who is fixing our popcorn: "I just want to see Orlando Bloom's Butt shot."
Concession guy: There's no Orlando Bloom butt shot.
K: You're kidding me! I read that there was.
CG: There isn't.
Me: *picks jaw up off the floor that sweet, precious 'Miss K.' (she calls me 'Miss Olivia', even though we're friendly, she needs that layer of formality/respect with me, so I return the favor) Just said "butt shot" and is carrying on a conversation about Orlando Bloom's Butt with a Total Stranger*
Then K. goes and the guy says, "So you're the Brad Pitt fan?"
Me: Not really. I'm just along for the ride. I know they changed the story, but I thought it would be fun anyway.
CG: *smiles* Brad Pitt was actually very good in it. He surprised me. Hope you enjoy your show.
Me:
So THEN I spend the whole movie getting elbowed everytime OB is on screen. When he crawled to Hector's feet, I think I lost feeling in my right hand, K was squeezing me so hard.
When it was over, we went down the hill to a little sports bar and had a snack and chatted. She admitted to having written a FAN LETTER to OB, and made me promise not to tell Ron because "Ron would tell T." I didn't tell her that Ron already knew, because she had me over for lunch one day, just to help her find pictures of Mr. Bloom on the internet.
BTW, if anybody knows where I could link to a pic of him in that outrageous hat at the end of PotC, let me know. It would make her day.
So, the only time she's had me around in the last six months had something to do with Orlando Bloom. So, in a way, she's using me. She knows I won't tell, and she needs somebody to help be a front to hide her Orlando Lust. I'm a little honored that she has confided this in me, since she seems to see it as some sort of Personal Failing at best or at worst, a Threat to Her Marriage. *shrug*
My own fangurly thang for Ewan McGregor is fairly well known, even by Ron, though I do not generally engage in Ewan Ogling when he's around. Just seems impolite, even though the thing I like most about Ewan is how much he looks like Ron 40 lbs ago. I can't even really use her to go watch Ewan movies, because his latest is Young Adam, which is NC17 (and that might just kill her. It's a long way from "ooooh, butt shot" to "Look! He's not circumcized!" )
I suppose we all have things we keep from our loved ones, but I'm a little worried that K. may be in need of some sort of outlet. She cares for her two small children pretty much full time, and she won't even consider going with me to the aquarium or the zoo with the kids. She just doesn't get out much.
I'm betting I don't hear from her again until Bloom's next movie.
[ May 23, 2004, 11:07 PM: Message edited by: Olivetta ]
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
[ May 23, 2004, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: Damien ]
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Oops... Broke a rule. I'll fix that.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Well, if she HAS to fantasize about men other than her husband, I suppose it's best that it's about men who wouldn't give her the time of day.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Thank you, guys! K will be pleased.
I consoled her after the movie (as she was bemoaning the lack of a 'butt shot' I *still* can't believe this is the same woman I've known for years ) by reminding her how much flesh they actually did show. I mean, some of those costumes rode really low, especially OB's.
The boy is either hairless as a child or he had a Brazillian Wax. Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
OK, now I *have* to go see Troy. (Though neither BP or OB are exactly my type, well, let's just say I wouldn't send either of them home without breakfast.)
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
*snort*
(OT rant) BTW, KarlEd-- I totally recant ever reccommending Descendants of Darkness through Netflix. The fan subbed version is much better than even the official subbing, and the dubbing is just plain awful. The voices, the music *ugh* I got the second disc last week and was totally cringing the whole time I watched it. Calling them 'guardians of death' just sucks, they should have left it 'shinigami' because it just doesn't translate well.(/OT rant)
I must say that OB is not my type, though he is really pretty. Brad Pitt is typically handsome that it always surprises me when he *acts* so believably. You'd notice his acting more if it wasn't for that delectable, pouty lower lip. *eyes glaze over* Um, yeah, so what was it you were saying?
But the real revelation in this movie was Eric Bana. With the longish Trojan hairdo you don't even notice his gigantic Dumbo ears, so he managed to be hot as well as totally believable. He broke my heart.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Another OT digression, but my email is down so I'll post it here: Olivet, what you last sent me was fantastic. I'll reply in detail as soon as I have email up again.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
KarlEd, YAY!
Thanks Syn and Damien for the links. I sent them to K and she was all excited.
Posted by peter the bookie (Member # 3270) on :
If she *has* to fantasize about someone, why does it have to be someone who looks 14?
*just doesn't understand the appeal*
Posted by cochick (Member # 6167) on :
I do - always gone for baby faced looking blokes myself.
Orlando - yummy!!!
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Women prefer men who look like women, it's a fact.
I like to believe this is because, subconsciencely, all women are ::whisper excitedly:: lesbians!
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
See, I only liked Orlando Bloom in the nakey scene...because he has a nice torso. I just didn't think he looked all that great in the movie.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
He's cute and all, but I think his mouth is just a bit too close to the bottom of his face. Or something. That and he's kinda girly.
I usually go for girly men, but not him. Though I admit he's sort of a flesh and blood Bishounen.
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
See this is one of the reasons why this forum is so strange. You never get threads full of guys drooling over female celebrities, posting pictures of them, commenting on their . . . attributes. Or, at least, it's very rare. However, this has to be the three hundredth hunky actor thread I've seen.
Don't think I'm expressing offense or outrage. I have no problem with women swooning over men. I just thought the discrepancy was odd. The tables are totally turned here. What a unique group.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
*also doesn't like Brad Pitt* Orlando Bloom looked good in LOTR, though...I guess I don't like his normal hair.
Also, Colin Farrell should never go blonde again.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Colin Farrel blonde?? The sacriledge! Next you'll be telling me he's plucked those sexy eyebrows! Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Yum
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
See, I wouldn't mind a little bit of eyebrow waxing on his part..but just a little...to clean them up, not thin them out.
And yeah, he got all blonde for his movie Alexander...and then he grew a 70's porno moustache....
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
)![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
)![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
)![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
) by reminding her how much flesh they actually did show. I mean, some of those costumes rode really low, especially OB's.![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)