I've apparently had some sort of bad dietary or lifestyle change with my recent move that's affecting my social skills. Several times in the last few days, online and IRL, I've accidentally pissed people off. Sometimes I gave offense where none was intended, sometimes I did something wrong or inadequately and caused someone to lose their temper.
Aside from wanting to know what's wrong with me, how do you best correct a situation of accidental pissing-off? It seems to me that one's first reflex is to be defensive and plead innocent, trying to explain what you meant or intended, but that doesn't usually seem to help the situation if done too quickly.
What's the best way to handle the situation? Is an apology enough or is some sort of reparation in order to restore the general good will?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
You can just send me money.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
I'd settle for a five pound box of $20's if you are sending out money/
Actually, don't worry about accidently doing this to people. Make sure you are doing this to people! Life can be fun when the prissy turn "p i s s y."
Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
If the pissed-off person isn't so pissed off that they won't talk to you, the sooner you apologize and try to explain that your comment/action didn't come across as you intended, the better. If they're not talking to you, or listening to you, you're best to give them some space until they cool down.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
I don't know what to tell you Prof. I say let the urine fly! But try not to get any on yourself.
Posted by Professor Funk (Member # 5608) on :
Is it important to let them know that the offense wasn't intended, or is a straight apology better?
Posted by docmagik (Member # 1131) on :
It depends on whether you offended me, or you offended my wife. If you offended my wife, she really, really wants to hear the words "I'm sorry."
Me, on the other hand, find apologies trite. ("What, is that supposed to make it better?") What I want to know is that you didn't mean it the way I took it, so we can be cool again.
If you try to tell my wife that, though, it will just upset her--she'll assume you're saying she was stupid to get upset, and that will "invalidate her feelings" and that will just make things worse.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
If you pissed off a guy, offer to buy him a beer or a Sprite. You'll be cool after that.
If you pissed off a girl, buy a guy a beer or a Sprite. At least YOU'LL feel better.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
I have this problem more often that I'd like to admit (foot in mouth disease, especially)
I just have to make myself shut up.
For a week or so I just won't say whatever pops into my head (or write it) when I know that I seem to be making everyone mad. I just keep my mouth shut and my posts nill.
Then whatever it was passes and I'm back to normal.
Farmgirl
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
* cough* I sent Icarus something but I never heard any response from him. So much for the tribute money...
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
quote:For a week or so I just won't say whatever pops into my head (or write it) when I know that I seem to be making everyone mad. I just keep my mouth shut and my posts nill.
Oh crimony. I've been going about it all wrong! Are there any guy threads where I can go hide?
Thanks for the timely pointer FG!
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Usually I take a good look at what I said, and ask myself if the other person is justified in getting offended or not. If they are then I look at my words and decide what exactly was uncalled for, and apologize for that. If they are not justified, I either ignore them entirely, or tell them I do not care.
However, I find the best way to deal with this is an ounce of prevention. There are lots of times (especially, although not only, online) that I just do not say or type what I had originally planned to. Does not catch everything, but I am sure it has prevented more than a few arguments.
Edit: added myself after ask.
[ June 11, 2004, 10:26 PM: Message edited by: Danzig ]
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I received what you sent, but unfortunately you sent it during my final exams, and then I was out of town for a week. I haven't forgotten, I simply haven't gotten much of a chance. So I'll have to stay on your shit list a bit longer. Posted by Alai's Echo (Member # 3219) on :
quote:What's the best way to handle the situation?
Get banned from Hatrack over a total misunderstanding, then not bother to correct it because it's not like anyone would listen anyway.
But that's just my opinion.
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
Good to know you have it, at least. Catch up with me when you have the time, no prob.
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