In just one week I shall magically appear in Mormon country. Well, not exactly magically ....I mean, jet engines are involved. But what's freaking me out is that I let someone talk me into flying, which scares the pee out of me. What am I going to do? Quick! Someone tell me something comforting about flying. And none of this "there are more car crashes than plane crashes" stuff. There is a huge difference between being a victim of a car wreck and a plane wreck. In a car wreck, you might walk away with a broken arm. If your plane crashes, you'll be lucky if they FIND your arm.
These are the kinds of thoughts that are building up in my head as I get ready to leave. After a bad plane experience ten years ago, I decided I would never fly again. But here I am, flying.
What have I gotten myself into? Gah.
Posted by Anthro (Member # 6087) on :
There's some movies you should see as prep: Air Force One Alive Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Also good: Turbulence
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
and then watch Speed to make you afraid of the bus
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
PSI, there is nothing scary about flying. It's a little boring, especially if the flight is a long one, but it really isn't scary at all. This is coming from someone who goes out of the country at least once or twice a year.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
The pilot doesn't do anything any more and your trusting your life to a mere machine. A machine that with the slightest problem could shortcut leaving you and the other passengers to plummit to certain death.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Or you could try Flying High Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Remember the mantra: "Bernoulli was right. Bernoulli was right. Bernoulli was right."
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Actually, someone suggested "Langoliers" to me. Of everything, "Langoliers" is the most comforting thing of all.
And jebus, for shame. You are seriously warping me here. Do you want to cause my kids to grow up to be as neurotic as me?
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I'm not sure you're helping, Jebus.
One thing that helps me sometimes is knowing that commercial jets are built to be able to glide even if the engines cut out... So it's not an automatic crash.
Oh, and auto-pilot and auto-landings are *way* safer then pilot ones - no room for pilot error.
I also find a gin and tonic just after takeoff helps a great deal.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
See, I knew about the gliding thing, but I thought that only worked for itty-bitty planes. This one is a Regional Jet, with the engines in the back, which somehow makes me feel safer than the enormous ones.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I always feel very nervous when I have to sit near the engines. I know that with the speed those turbines are going, if one blade had a catastrophic failure, it would slice right through the plane and my body.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I'm so glad I can come to you guys when I need encouragement.
Porter: Yeah, I like the engines in the back. I don't like thinking that if there's a problem with the engine, I lose a wing as well.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
When I had to fly, I took a nerve pill. Of course, my husband tells me that I paused a loooong time when asked if I had any weapons, so maybe that's not the greatest advice.
space opera
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
When I was ten, I told the guy at security that there was a bomb in my cabbage patch. I thought it was obvious I was kidding. My parents didn't think it was funny.
Posted by Anthro (Member # 6087) on :
Oooh, go see Airplane.
You know, my cousin's a flight attendant. In training, they tell them about this crash where it caught on fire and then hit a shallow lake, bottomed quick, basically crumpled the plane like a can.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
Didn't Douglas Adams say something like "flying is nothing more than jumping at the ground and missing"?
Posted by Happy Camper (Member # 5076) on :
He said, and I quote (so I'll quote)
quote:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying. There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
That being from Life, The Universe, and Everything
I'll tell you this. Pilots are trained to be able to land an airplane without working engines. So if the ones on your plane are in good working order, its a bonus. And pilots have to be tested very frequently.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: Remember the mantra: "Bernoulli was right. Bernoulli was right. Bernoulli was right."
Posted by Promethius (Member # 2468) on :
What usually calms me down is that if a terrorist tries anything, thinking about how im gonna stab him in the eye with my ball point pen. The other thing that constantly runs through my mind is the plane slamming into the ground at a million miles an hour, but its probably best not to go there...
You can do it, just be tough. Tough like that little engine that could. I think I can, I think I can, etc.
[ June 23, 2004, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: Promethius ]
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
just remember that your seat is a flotation device.
Though...I would rather my seat be a parachute device
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
"I'm sorry, but no. In the event of a water landing, my seat cushion is going to be used as a toilet."
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
*gestures to the stewardess*
cut to: cracking lip-glossed smile
"yes?"
"Are there any empty seats possibly in a different row?"
*gestures at distressing Moose*
cut to: finely tamed eyebrows rising in alarm!
Posted by DSH (Member # 741) on :
Tip: Bring a pair of ear plugs (and use 'em). They're the next best thing to anesthetics for keeping headaches at bay.
Tip: If your pilot makes a general announcement advising you to ignore the "malfunctioning" alarm sounding in the back of the plane, and then proceeds to land 15 minutes early; Don't believe him!
Tip: Request an aisle seat in an emergency exit row, you get more leg room that way.
Tip: Unless you're flying first class, sitting in the front of the plane sucks; you're among the last people on the plane and you have to fight (sometimes literally) for overhead bin space.
Tip: Sit back and relax, what could possibly go wrong? Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Considering how many flights there are and how few crashes there are, I'd say flying is a pretty safe way to travel. Relax. Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Take chewing gum. It always helps me to chew gum as the plane is ascending/descending to help my ears "pop" with the altitude changes.
Farmgirl
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
I think this thread is responsible for the dream I had last night about a very boring movie about an airplane trip.
Posted by Sweet William (Member # 5212) on :
Here is one thing (of very, very few) that I remember from my MBA program. It was from some decision making class (and I'm paraphrasing):
Activity A: Accidents occur during activity A 20% of the time. When they do, 30% of those accidents are fatal.
Activity B: Accidents occur during activity B 1% of the time. When such accidents occur, 99.99999% of those accidents are fatal.
So lots of people chose activity A over activity B. Then we learned A is driving, B is flying.
Don't know why I posted this, but have a lovely flight. 99% of airline flights do not end in fatality!!!!!!! Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I second seeing "Airplane".
It may not make flying seem safer, but you get a few giggles out of it. (I believe that movie is the number 1 reason why Hara Krishna's no longer frequent airports.)
I also suggest alcohol. I mean, they bring the drinks right to you. What could be better.
Finally, there is always hypnosis. You don't get hypnotized into not being afraid. You get hypnotized into believing that you are actually taking a train.
A train with very, very tall wheels.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: Accidents occur during activity A 20% of the time. When they do, 30% of those accidents are fatal.
Wait, wouldn't this mean that six out of a hundred flights ends in fatality? That's terrible odds!
quote: What usually calms me down is that if a terrorist tries anything, thinking about how im gonna stab him in the eye with my ball point pen
This is true. I DO know how to kill a man five different ways with a pen.
quote: just remember that your seat is a flotation device.
Though...I would rather my seat be a parachute device
So you can suffocate on the way down?
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: So you can suffocate on the way down?
No, you could unclip from the parachute right before hitting the water, then swim away from the parachute before it hits the water. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I'm talking about the low oxygen at thirty thousand feet.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
My physic teacher in high school told me once that the odds of someone having a bomb on a plane were 1:1,000,000.
And the odds of there being two bombs on a plane were 1:1,000,000,000,000!
So he always carried a bomb onto planes with him.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I'm wondering how many problems on planes resulting in death are caused by foul play, rather than accident. I feel pretty safe from most foul play at this point. *brandishes pen*
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
The space shuttle is a gigiantic brick on re-entry, the wings do not help with lift, they're pretty much just for stabilization; it's got a few rockets on it that accelerate and de-accelrate it and that's it. The only thing it can really do is fall.
And yet only one time has teh space shuttle ever not made it to ground, and that was win a heat-resistant patch fell off so high up that it's just plane ridiculous to worry about for comericial flights (the frost on your windows is a sign your not going so fast as to cause massive heat build up from friction that caused the Shuttle's faliure).
You're ridding within an object that has wings that are meant to keep it up right and steady, you can fly horizontally, not just drop, you've got more little manueverable fins and the like then anyone can count, if you wanted to you could do barrel roles in that thing. If the space shuttle is safe (besides heat fricition you don't have to worry about, and solid rockets exploding, which you aslo don't have to worry about), you're safe.
Hobbes Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: it's just plane ridiculous to worry about for comericial flights
What an awful pun. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Random update:
I just learned that Canadair had their very first fatal accident last year, after 11 years of service. Isn't that a good thing for me? Doesn't that mean that they'll be working hard to keep it from happening again? *prays*
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
I think it means all their planes are getting pretty old and it's just a matter of time until they're exploding in-transit.
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