Ok, So I have been the victim of one failed romance after the others since my early 20's. I get caught up in some boy, things are great, then things always fall apart miserably. I'm starting to worry that it might be me, and not that I am necessarily dating losers.
The dating scene really is just exhausting, and I'm so ready to invest in a few more pairs of PJ's, call it quits, and spend all my free time D&Ding and watching my netflix movies.
This pretty much is the typical, where is Mr. Right, I just got dumped post. Once again, I'm just sad about another failed romance and need to tell someone. Thanks for listening.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Have you tried looking for someone who's into D&D and Netflix?
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
*hug*
I just keep figurin' that the next "big change" will find me with the perfect someone. Starting med school didn't work, but maybe starting this research fellowship next month will...
Worse comes to worse, we can start setting you up with blind dates Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*hug*
I gave up completely and am now in hiding. This has its own problems.
(((((Ndra))))))
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
(((((NdRa)))))
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*hugs* NdRa *hugs* Kat
AJ
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Thanks. I actually made this thread cause I am fishing for hugs.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
(((NdRa)))
Everytime I see your name I feel a sudden urge to shout out "Ra-Ra!" If you're feeling down, I suggest reading your name a few times, maybe that'll do it.
Hobbes Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
In hiding? Kat, I still say I've got to find a way to set you up with my cousin.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Seems like you caught some.
Love comes when it is not looked for. Lust comes when Love is sought too hard. Unhappiness comes when one settles for what we hope we can one day make into love.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Check, check, check. Yeah, I make all three of those mistakes almost everytime.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I wish I could even have a failed romance. I have had no romances at all. i feel like I am missing something and should run around trying to meet people and finally have a first date.. Yes, it is pathetic... *sympathetic hug*
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: Unhappiness comes when one settles for what we hope we can one day make into love.
Yeah, my ex just told me this in many more words. I want those 3 and 1/2 years back! Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
NdRa, what you need is a "soul mate", a friend who becomes more than that. Or maybe I am just projecting my own romantic views onto your life.
But in any case, don't go into hiding. But maybe you need to find some true, solid friendships with guys. Who knows if one such friendship might evolve into what you are searching for?
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Synth, you need to ask someone out on a date! Take the bull by the horns, carpe diem!!!
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Maybe you should start off with something fun and enjoyable, like this.
Hobbes Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Meh, don't listen to bev. She's one of those "happy" types. By a cat for company and a big stick to fend off any male suitors. If you're gonna be unhappy you might as well embrace it, right?
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
(((NdRa))) (((Synesthesia))) Syne, you can't find a date? It's easier after the first one.
And it's not pathetic. What's pathetic is not being able to ask out girls out of fear when you're pretty sure they like you. Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Polka Party
If only there were people around I could ask for dates.. Or possibly a nice person who would court me and hit on me and possibly buy me a nice fedora.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
Changing topic:
Beverly, how does one do that? I felt that every time I tried to be friends with a guy, he took it as an indication that I wanted to date him. This made him either ask me out or avoid me altogether so as not to "lead me on" or something. If the former, I had to worry about whether I wanted to date him and whether I wanted him to kiss me and whatnot. If the latter, I could never really talk to him again.
I have good friendships with guys now that I'm married and not an option or a threat. *shrug* Does it have to be this way? Am I just unlucky?
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Beverly, most of my friends are actually male. While most of the relationships started with some sexual chemistry that was never carried through with, they've evolved into much more meaningful relationships. I trust and depend on them to be there for me without having an ulterior motive at this point.
My best friend just told me that it kind of IS my fault. He also says I have a tendancy to fall for the wrong type of men and ignore the ones that are probably right for me. I don't know how to develop feelings for the "right type of man" for me.
I feel cursed.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: I have good friendships with guys now that I'm married and not an option or a threat. *shrug* Does it have to be this way? Am I just unlucky?
Why? Men are stupid when it comes to love.
Wait... women are too. Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
What type of men do you usually fall for?
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Man, Brinestone, that sucks. I think that is a lingering dinosaur of culture that needs to be done away with, the idea that females can't be assertive in friendships and all.
As for being successful, I think that for me whenever I got really close to a guy, "romance" did start to sneak in whether we acted on it or not. I think you just have to find guys that you enjoy connecting with. Hopefully they will be mature enough not to be scared off. *silly men!* Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
*wonders why I'm giving advice* *is young an inexperienced in relationships save one*
Actually, I wish I could find a girl myself. Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
NdRa, oooo! Oooo! He liiiikes yoooou.
But seriously, it sounds like the normal supportive, guy friend, feeling frustrated that the cool, awesome, smart, funny, pretty girl that they are friends with doesn't give them a second thought and instead goes after "the jerk". I for one have tried really hard not to be that sort of girl. I have always liked going for "the nice guy", though I do seem to require a certain level of charm and charisma in order to be attracted to them. If they are "nice" but not interesting, wouldn't happen. Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Ok, that does it. Nick, Syth, you are going on a date. I don't care if you live in different parts of the world, you are having a virtual date. I hereby pronounce you "set up".
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Why did I think NdRa was male, and ran foobonic?
Was it some weird n00b preconception that led me to this place?
AJ
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
beverly, as long as we don't play chess, Syn almost beat me last time. Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
I just had a wonderful image of bev dressed up as a fairy godmother in a poofy sparkly blue dress complete with a magic wand which she flicked on "set up". Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Synth, I have listened to you and paid attention when you have shared your feelings of frustration about not having found romance yet. I like you, so I keep up with what you say. I promise I am not stalking you.
I am wondering, do you get out much and socialize? Do you feel frustrated because though you know and meet people, you just haven't found someone you would even want to ask out?
You know, I can totally understand if you feel that way. Beleive it or not, but when I moved to Texas as a Junior in High School, there was not one single boy in the entire school that I met that I would want to go on a date with. NOT ONE. Isn't that bizarre? I don't know what the deal was, I just didn't see anyone that I was even remotely interested in/attracted to. Very sad.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
hansenj Edit: as long as you didn't picture me as an "old lady".
Well, now there you go! You have been on a first date.
[ June 25, 2004, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Syn - I tend to fall for the eccentric personality. Not necessarily jerks. The artist type with the stereotypical angst.
Banna - Foobonic is also a failed romance. Foobonic is my ex-boyfriend who I asked to give me space for the hatrack album back when we were together. I am most defenitly a chick.
Beverly - I just lead with my feelings too much. I have never been a very sensible person, and dating a nice boy would be sensible. Although, how sensible is it to date a man that I don't feel that "umph" for?
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
It's harder to meet people outside of college. I don't even have any local friends my age around here and I've lived here for about 2 years! It's very frustrating and depressing. I can't go out as much as I want to due to lack of money so next week I will go out to some meetings and stuff. I want to join more groups and do more volunteer work or at least meet people who have single people they know they can hook me up with. Trying to find dates is like trying to find a good job... Two things I hate >.<
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Not bizarre at all, bev. I didn't feel like dating until I was 15. As it stands I haven't dated for over 2 years and don't miss it at all. There's plenty of other things to do and I haven't met anyone I'm remotely interested in.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Eccentric, like, Various Johnny Depp characters? Eccentric guys are cool... Jerks are not... Folks that are interested in musica nd are not jerks, willing to buy me a fedora and have calm temperments are the best.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Syn - Have you tried online dating sites? I have a couple friends that have been quite succesful with this.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
Oh, no worries, beverly. You were quite the beautiful fairy godmother...sparkly makeup around your eyes, etc. It helps that I've met you before, and I know that you are by no means an old lady.
Edit: Ooh! Can I have an eccentric Johnny Depp like character?? *drools*
[ June 25, 2004, 02:00 PM: Message edited by: hansenj ]
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Are they free? One thing that makes it harder to meet people is not having a lot of money (And also having netflix anyway...)
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Mmmm, I am feeling sorry for that guy friend of yours.... Pining after you....
The problem is, it isn't hard for guys to feel that "umph" for a female, and they are often more than willing to get close to fulfill that "umph", but they don't necessarily have any desire for it to be long term.
The way I work, if I connect with a guy mentally (and there is some charm there, as stated) I will *become* attracted to them. I have been highly, highly attracted to more than one men that most girls would think unattractive. That is what allows me to go for "the nice guy" when a lot of other women won't. That means I have hooked up with a lot of guys in my time who were interested in the long term, sometimes more interested than I was. Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Eccentric artist types are quite appealing when you first meet them, but most of them carry baggage up the wazoo.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
See, my problem is that I'm a coward when it comes to women. They're scary.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Syth isn't scary....
I think often times the sort that we are most attracted to are the most intimidating, therefore scary. Too often, if someone isn't scary to us, they aren't attractive either.
hansenj Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
People are scary... They sometimes look at you like you have white mushrooms growing out of your pores.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
NdRa, I have a tendancy for that too. (Being attracted to the eccentric but troubled men) it has gotten me into trouble before. But I also have a cautious side to me that kinda keeps me in check. Quite often the men that I have been wildly attracted too often have scared me enough that I choose not to pursue something witht them.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Synth: Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Nick, you should cultivate those feelings!
Women are scary! Like a roller-coaster! Whoo-Hoo! Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote: beverly, as long as we don't play chess, Syn almost beat me last time
So you live close enough to play chess with her, but you won't ask Syn out? Sounds like a date between you two would solve the problem for both of you...
FG
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:Eccentric artist types are quite appealing when you first meet them, but most of them carry baggage up the wazoo.
Is that a nice way of saying that they're gay as a rainbow?
And Sandy, no matter how hot you are and how many threads you start, I'll never move to California.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
<- Wants to be more like Beverly.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
We played of Yahoo.com Though I would go on a date with Syn, if she didn't live far away. I think she lives far away... *doesn't know*
[ June 25, 2004, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Nick ]
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
at Frisco.
You see, our romance failed without it ever starting. Way to go.
[ June 25, 2004, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: NdRa ]
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
No, just means you'll have to come to Boise.
Lalo! Wash her, and bring her to me!
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Are there photos of Nick and Syn on Foobonic?
Syn lives in California, right?
*goes to see*
FG
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
No... Boston. Pictures of me don't exist. I hate being photographed. It steals my soul.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww *hates how I look in pictures*
[ June 25, 2004, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: Nick ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Ok NdRa, thanks for straightening that out. I had the two overlapped and you haven't been the most frequent of posters. Hi, I'm AJ, and I wasn't trying be a disrespectful n00b. Pleased to meet you!
AJ
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Frisco: Oooo, kinky.
NdRa, you are a moth drawn to the flame. You have been burned by it. Maybe the day will come that you will look at that sweet boy next to you who is kind and supportive and find that you love him. But I will not deny that there must be chemistry there. If there is no chemistry, you can't force it.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Hey, have you considered writing a real long post explaining how you are single and unattached and are just happy with that in your life right now?
DKW did that last year.
She's getting married next year.
It might work for you, but no Bob's are gauranteed.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Nice picture that is.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Where's CT???? Where's our matchmaker????
She could sort this all out for everyone....
FG
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Banna OJ - No worries. Because I post so infrequently, I actually feel like the n00b here.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
I'm taking Bev's advice Frisco. No more flying into flames. Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: Nice picture that is.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"My best friend just told me that it kind of IS my fault. He also says I have a tendancy to fall for the wrong type of men and ignore the ones that are probably right for me."
Hm. On my planet, that's the code phrase for "Date me! Date me! I'm right here, you moron!"
Seriously, though, you're an attractive gamer geek. Walk into your local game store, whip out a Magic deck, and tell people that you're going to be using pieces of clothing to represent Life Points. I'm kidding a bit, of course, but I DON'T think you realize how desirable you are, how easy it is to just get out there and date people, or how frivilously you COULD be dating. And I think frivolity is key in the early stages.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
quote: Hm. On my planet, that's the code phrase for "Date me! Date me! I'm right here, you moron!"
Funniest thing I've seen today yet. Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
But I think she is tired of frivolity and wants something lasting. You're right, she could get just about any guy she wants, but not for long term. That is the problem.
Posted by dabbler (Member # 6443) on :
quote:Seriously, though, you're an attractive gamer geek. Walk into your local game store, whip out a Magic deck, and tell people that you're going to be using pieces of clothing to represent Life Points.
I'm a gamer geek and I'd never go to the local RPG store to pick up guys. Are you kidding me?!
I have many, many gamer geek guy friends. In fact, at a recent dinner party, I didn't realize until a neighbor mentioned that 9/10 of my guests were guys. Generally, gamer geek guys are the kinds of folks I'd love to have as gaming buddies. But not necessarily to date.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
*wonders what "catergory" I would be in* You know, there is like gamer geeks... ect
*wonders, hoping for an answer*
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
quote:On my planet, that's the code phrase for "Date me! Date me! I'm right here, you moron!"
So funny and so true.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Heh heh, that's funny Tom. I don't think it's true. My closes guy friends all have girlfriends they love, and would never ever look at me that way now. Garick, you've got my back on this one right?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*echoes mack*
That's HILARIOUS. And very, very true.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
I actually agree with Sandy on that one, because I tell my sister that she dates scumbags all the time. Though I say it in nicer words.... Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Which leads us back to the age-old question all nice guys want to know the answer to, "Why do desirable women date jerks?" I think there was a thread about that not long ago....
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I suspect because those desirable women don't believe that they are so and the jerks are all they can get.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Because it is an adventure.
My opinion: I stopped dating the fascinating, baggage-ridden artists when I decided to stop using dating as my source of adventure. Find another source of adventure, and you won't require that variety to be in the guy. The stable ones become much more attractive then.
And what mack said. Basically, the sheer quality of guys I date now is about ten times what it was ten years ago. This is a very positive trend, and it has more to do with me becoming more choosy and more confident than with the crowd around me.
[ June 25, 2004, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Damien (Member # 5611) on :
Mack, I believe that is EXACTLY it.
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
What makes a lot of scum bags so scummy is their way of convincing people they aren't scummy (or as scummy) if they wish too
So nice guys, become slightly scummy and try to seduce the girls by any means necessary, then go back to being nice
(or so it appears with my friends )
[ June 25, 2004, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Jaiden ]
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:I suspect because those desirable women don't believe that they are so and the jerks are all they can get.
Wait, so the delusional ones get the good guys?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Yes. People are attracted to confidence, and it almost doesn't matter if it's warranted or not.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I think part of it is that desirable women know to some extent that they are desirable and that the "nice guys" are often not assertive enough in their wooing. The jerks start out wooing confidently, but then evolve into their normal jerk-form of rude behavior. The women start to doubt themselves and require the positive feedback and attentions of the said-jerk. Thus, they are hopelessly wrapped around his finger.
They don't believe the flattery of the "nice guy", 'cause after all, he's just deperate. He'd say that to any girl who gave him the time of day.
Just a theory.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Are you implying you don't find women desirable Frisco?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
*snort*
I was convinced I was not desirable. I still have a hard time convincing myself of it now, but certain people (person) make it easier.
I always figured that the guys I was truly attracted to in all ways were way out of my league (such as hot nathan). So I settled for what I could get, and those guys turned out to be, well, jerks. But, I felt that beggars couldn't be choosers.
So yeah. The delusional chicks get the good guys. Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Katharina and Beverly - I agree. I think subconsciencely it is about the chase.
Posted by Suneun (Member # 3247) on :
for me, a lot of the "decent" men also fit into the category "boring." and the half-decent ones are taken Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Yah, beautiful Annie thought she wasn't desireable too... of course she ended up setteling for me so maybe that wont encourage you, but it sure does wonders for me!
Hobbes Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Nndra: I have to admit, a lot of the fun went out of dating then too. I LIKED the adventure, dang it. Now it isn't worth the effort NEARLY as often, and sometimes even when it seems like it would be, something else (timing - SOMETHING) is off.
LawGuy: Where does your cousin live? I'm game.
[ June 25, 2004, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I think it's the hiding under the coffee table that's killing it, Katie.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Sandy, has your best friend never dropped anything resembling a hint? Because, y'know, seriously, in my life so far, I've learned to recognize the sentence "You could be doing so much better. You just aren't dating the right men," as the last desperate mating call of the mildly passive-aggressive.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Yeah definitely not the Harry Potter book on top of the table
AJ (Though I would be worried if she's hiding under the coffee table to read the Harry Potter book... that would be a major issue)
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Tom - Could it be possible that my friends honestly think I deserve a lot better without having an ulterior motive?
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
mack, yeah, I can totally see where that side of the issue happens also. Nice guys of the world, unite! Start wooing women with gusto! Let them know they are awesome and don't have to settle for jerks! Women of the world! Give the nice guys a chance!
There. Now everyone will be happier.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"Could it be possible that my friends honestly think I deserve a lot better without having an ulterior motive?"
Are they men? If so, it's unlikely. Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Tom - That is so depressing. I refuse to believe that.
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Sandy, you could do SO much better.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Generally "nice guy" equals "whiner" because the "jerks" that other women dating are really just "not me."
So, ideally, "nice guys" would grow a spine.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I guess in the past I have enjoyed being the one with the backbone in the relationship, hence my ending up with the "nice guys". Heh, I'm such a dominatrix.
Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
yeah.. I don't know why Nndraa has all these guys fall over her.
She might consider them just friends.. but I think it goes further than that. Guys call her up and ask her if they can spend the night with her. Naked.
One guy even went so far as to say.. "Oh yeah.. I think Garick really jocks you because HIS g/f's name is Sandy too."
Lol, wtf? No, Nndraa is like the big li'l Casper sister I never had. And though she's cool... my Sandy is way doper. WAYYYY doper! (Nndraa.. peep the ring I just bought her on my site www.xanga.com/garick) plug plug..
Although I once answered the question.. If you were a dog, who would you bite? And I replied.. "I'd happily sink my teeth into Nndraa's arse and chomp away"
So Frisco/Nick/Synth/Jatraqueros (male and female).. get to it all! Nndraa is recently single and you better watch out when all the hounds find out. and btw.. no, she doesn't have white mushrooms growing out of her pores. Not even athlete's fungus. (but she's a real fungi. Fun guy. pun har har)
Frisco- why not Cali? It's already in your name.. I think everyone should move here. EVERYONE! plus.. there's many hatrackers already here. You'd have friends waiting to welcome you.
Nndraa.. this last b/f was ok. Didn't seem to match you, but you were happy so that's cool. Foobonic is cool I guess. We're on better terms now I think through email.
But I've noticed that you date guys more for a sense of ego/pride. On/Off with the last one.. You just didn't want to be the one dumped. It seemed more of a power/control thing than actual emotions.
So don't fret. You really didn't want him anyways. Now you're open to find someone who really gets you in the heart. I'm not getting Ivar Sat. nights anymore.. but we can find you a guy at a BPM event perhaps?
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
*groan* Have you EVER known me to like the clubbing scene Garick? I'm also not thrilled at the thought of being picked up on at some club.
Thanks for the kind words and the "I am a male friend of Sandy's and I don't like her in that way obviously...look how much cooler I think my own girlfriend is!" Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*pat pat*
He thinks he's being helpful, Ndra. That is what guys are like -- you want one of those?
*flees*
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Besides, I have a date with Rivka on Sunday. It can't get much better than that!
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Hmm. First Rivka congratulates Eruve on being legal, now she's trying to dissuade Sandy from the male gender...
I like where this is going.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Well, given the circumstances of this up-and-coming relationship, I think a emoticon would be more appropriate.
After all, with nothing male in sight, what's there to at?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*snickers* It would be one way to freak out my ex . . .
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
kat:"Where does your cousin live? I'm game."
Right now, he's living in my parents' house while he attends law school at the U of U. Not exactly in your neck of the woods, unfortunately. But he's very available, and very badly in need of being set up, because he has the curse that all the men in my family have, which is shyness around girls. Seriously, all the guys in my family had to be grabbed and shaken by more decisive women who decided they were the right guy, since if it was left up to us we would probably had remained single and almost dateless forever. There's nothing wrong with us; we're quite good catches, actually. We're just not aggressive enough.
[ June 25, 2004, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: UofUlawguy ]
Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
Great! I can't wait to get the girl on girl action on tape this Sun.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Who invited you?
Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
Oh no one. Sandy rarely invites me out anymore. I just stalk is all.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: Sandy rarely invites me out anymore.
quote:I just stalk is all.
Do you think -- just maybe -- the two things might be related?
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Aw Garick. I can be a flighty friend sometimes, I know. *Officially apoligizes on the WWW* Thanks for the guilt trip also btw. Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Rivka - Garick is like the brother I never wanted...I mean the brother I wanted but realize I don't want anymore...I mean...yeah, a brother in the truest sense. I love Garick.
I just get busy and flaky. It's my MO.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I am familiar with this MO. I use it often myself. Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
**asspunches Nndraa**
Nah, don't worry about it. I know where you live.. and now you're moving closer to me
It's all good, I've been busy with my Sandy otherwise and haven't been home much either.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Please, as a personal favor to me, don't hook Katie up with a shy guy.
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
As a personal favor to me, hook her up with a reformed black thug from the streets, lookin' to do right against incredible odds set by The Man, struggling with his past in the form of rival Gs and selfish hos who use and abuse him. Add a conservative white Mormon chick to the mix, and we have sitcom gold, baby.
Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
Hmm. Your ideas intrigue me, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter....
Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
I'd like to buy the action figures. Is there a reserve price on that auction?
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Ha! The following is being built. It has begun...
With an allegiance this widespread, how soon until I RULE THE WORLD?!?! Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
not until you start buying from www.villainsupply.com Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I'm sorry, Sandy.
I will have to say, though, I've been so close to Sandy that I've slept in Sandy's bed. She's smokin'. All of you men who aren't currently all up on's the Sandstress are pure, unadulterated idiots.
You can take that to the bank.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Aw, coming from the sizzling sizzo hizzo herself, that means a lot.
I knew hatrack was a good place to post when feeling blue.
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
You slept with her?
Excuse me, I'm going to be busy for the next couple hours.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
quote:Eccentric artist types are quite appealing when you first meet them, but most of them carry baggage up the wazoo.
Which, if they bothered to read the baggage warning labels, they'd know they should NEVER EVER do!
Take it from a seasoned traveler with lots of baggage.
So...anyway, here's the deal.
1) Stop dating for awhile and be deliberate about it.
2) Take time and work to decide what you want in a man/woman. And be critical of yourself. If you are looking for superficial stuff, that's exactly what you'll end up with! So go for the attributes you really want in a mate.
3) And then be like that yourself. Be the person you want to find in a mate.
4) And then be forgiving of each other's little insecurities. We're all quivering masses of jelly inside over SOMETHING. So be kind and supportive even if you don't understand.
And don't make yourself sick over it when it doesn't work out. If you allow yourself to wallow in pity, you also are vulnerable to becoming desperate. And then what? You glom onto the next person who doesn't beat your heart up immediately upon meeting you.
Give it time and if it doesn't feel right, then be reasonable about it and don't force the situation.
Good luck!
Oh, and a lot of people don't get it right the first time. I don't know many at all, but those I do are really great couples. (I'm not naming names here). (You know who you are).
But don't use that as an excuse. It's a lot tougher to trust after you've been through the divorce ringer (not impossible, just harder). So, if you can make your first one really be the right one, then you've done yourself and your spouse a great favor.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
PS: The above advice pertains to people who are mature, by the way.
Those not ready for marriage shouldn't be all worked up about lifemates.
Getting married later in life is not a big deal. Unless you want to start a family when you are very young, or you want a LARGE family (and thus need to use your reproductive years as fully as possible), the rush to be married is not necessary.
IMHO.
And if one is not getting married, or thinking about marriage, then the need for SERIOUS romantic entanglements is also diminished.
AGAIN, IMHO
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
i'd settle for a date once in a while
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Me, too.
Posted by NdRa (Member # 2295) on :
Seriously, I know several people that use dating sites and have had a very good time! I know lavalife.com is a free one and there are several more out there. Type in 'free dating service' into google.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Serial killers populate those things - you should see what my neighbor brought home and he's scary enough on his own . . . Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Me three...
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Me too...
But it's my own fault. I just don't have the guts to ask... Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
And apparently, "Wanna hang-out together" doesn't work anymore.
*Bummed*
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Shan, I don't even have to courage to do that to a girl. If there is any possible way for her to see that I like her, I can't do it. At least right now. I'm afraid of getting turned down right now. Posted by Garick (Member # 6619) on :
Well.. you gotta take that risk then.
If no one was afraid.. then everyone would be in relationships.
Posted by Nick (Member # 4311) on :
Yeah... I know. Bite the bullet. I just don't have a lot of faith in women at the moment, after what I just went through.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Erica Jong:
quote: Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
Posted by Wonko The Sane (Member # 2945) on :
Posted by Fishtail (Member # 3900) on :
Hang in there, NdRa! When it comes to romantic relationships, patience really is a virtue. Sometimes you have to go through a bunch of one-sided relationships (in either/both directions) before you find somebody who feels about you the way you feel about them. And who is also willing to work at keeping the relationship going rather than just dumping the whole thing.
Bob_S' advice is great. Take a breather, decide what you want, and then work on being the person who'd be a good match for the person you want.
It can be painful sometimes, but that just makes opening your heart again a more wonderful gift in the future.
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Sorry t'hear it, Sandy Of course, you know *my* longstanding opinion...better (as usual) stated by Ralphie and Tom
Seriously though, sorry you're feeling down:( But hey, Hatrack is a pretty good place, I think, to get some blues removed. (Sandy) Which reminds me, I need to answer that email.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Regarding patience, remember that it took 5-1/2 years for Mama Squirrel to go on a second date with me. And we're pretty happy.
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(((((NdRa)))))
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I actually made this thread cause I am fishing for hugs.
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If you're feeling down, I suggest reading your name a few times, maybe that'll do it. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Seems like you caught some.![[Mad]](mad.gif)
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Polka Party![[Taunt]](graemlins/taunt.gif)
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Foobonic is also a failed romance. Foobonic is my ex-boyfriend who I asked to give me space for the hatrack album back when we were together. I am most defenitly a chick. ![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
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Sounds like a date between you two would solve the problem for both of you...![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
at Frisco.![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Hi, I'm AJ, and I wasn't trying be a disrespectful n00b. Pleased to meet you!![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
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