I have an important safety tip for you, right up there with "no running with chainsaws," and it is this: When you go to the theater this holiday weekend, do not talk loudly during the movie. Otherwise, trust me, there will be an explosion, and not the patriotic kind.
I'm a very calm person. I don't run other drivers into overpass supports no matter how close they came to clipping my bumper when their cell phone slipped and fell in their mocha grande. People who cut in front of me in a line might get a silent hmph. Pushy salespeople get laughed at, and telemarketers get gently mocked. Life is too short to get angry with people for being people.
Except in the movie theater. There I demand a certain level of respect for others and I get steamed if it doesn't happen, to the point where I begin to seriously consider gunfire. With a silencer, of course, so as not to cause a disturbance. And there are many others sitting around me that agree. Mob justice is always simmering just under the surface in a movie theater.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
The line about the gun with a silencer actually made me laugh out loud. What a great start to the day! Err...I don't mean gun ownership...I meant...forget it.
space opera
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Methinks the timing of this one is not coincidental. Someone planning to see Spider-Man this weekend?
Excellent as usual. I like ejection seats, but liability may make trap doors more feasible.
Dagonee
Posted by Damien (Member # 5611) on :
I found it amusing to picture someone's cell going into their mocha. Classic. Stupid cell phones... and... stupid mochas... shows them right.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Actually I had planned to see it this morning at 10. Already told my boss I was coming in late today and everything. Got my breakfast, sat in the theater parking lot and waited for the doors to open, congratulating myself on seeing it early and quietly. It worked with the 1st Spidey movie when I took a long lunch and saw it on the first day in a theater with maybe 10 other people.
However, the 1st movie was released in May, when school was still in session.
After not one, not two, but three school buses pulled up and started offloading kids this morning, I decided to wait and see it later...
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Bummer. I can't see it until Friday, which is killing me.
I haven't been excited for a new movie since Phantom Menace, and I think this one is going to live up to expectations.
Dagonee
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
I'm seeing it this afternoon! *bounce*
Sorry, had to get that out...
Edit: I forgot to say that this was another great column. So funny.
[ June 30, 2004, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: hansenj ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Well then I hate you.
But only until Friday .
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Chris, we saw the 3pm show of Harry Potter and must've been lucky because we also got to see the movie with about 10 people. I wish I could see ALL movies that way!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Went back for the 10:40 show (same theater has it on three screens, had shows at 10, 10:20, 10:40, etc).
Excellent, excellent movie. I'll make new threads to talk about it.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
Love the column. Especially this:
quote:I didn't pay to hear someone behind me talk about their operation at a conversational volume that would distract the drivers during a truck rally.
I think this part should also apply to restaurants. I don't know. Maybe it's just central California. It seems like I cannot go into a restaurant without being seated right next to someone who has to talk about illness and death in excruciating and graphic detail, at top volume. I'm medi-phobic, that is, being around or hearing about medical things causes me to have anxiety attacks. It isn't that I'm eavesdropping; I don't want to hear this stuff. It is that I can't help listening, because they are so loud that I can't have a conversation with the person or persons I am with. The most distressing part is that, when you ask people doing this to not do it because it is distressing to some people, they generally act as if you are the rude one.
Sorry for the slight derail of the thread. Carry on.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Not at all, it's the same general idea.
I like the low-impact responses. In this case, turn around and just watch the guy as if you're interested. Listen to his conversation, even join in if you can. Borrow his salt. Go ahead and move your plate closer. I mean, obviously it's not meant to be any sort of private conversation the way he's declaiming everything, so you have a perfect right to involve yourself.
Posted by Anthro (Member # 6087) on :
Ugh. You know what I hate?
I took my younger cousins to see Shrek 2. Now, through most of the beginning of the movie these sweet little tykes are talking AT THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES! Mother makes no move to silence them. Then one of my young cousins laughs a bit too loud at a joke, and the kid in front of us who was talking turns around and glares at him and actually shakes his fist.
Grrr . . .
Anywho, loved the column. Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I actually got physical with a talker in "Contact". I threw a wadded up (but already emptied) milk duds box at her. After the movie she did this snearing "I think you dropped something dearie" return of the box, which I threw at her again and booked out of there.
But I'd never do that again, now that I'm not 25.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
quote:I like the low-impact responses. In this case, turn around and just watch the guy as if you're interested. Listen to his conversation, even join in if you can. Borrow his salt. Go ahead and move your plate closer. I mean, obviously it's not meant to be any sort of private conversation the way he's declaiming everything, so you have a perfect right to involve yourself.
Thanks, Chris, for the great idea. I'll try that next time, providing I can control my anxiety. I wasn't kidding about the anxiety attacks. On the other hand, it would probably serve them right if I really did have a full-on panic attack, right in the middle of their table.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
*bounce*![[Smile]](smile.gif)
So funny.![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)