I'm sure Elizabeth will provide the yardstick by which we are all measured.
However, as we inch our way into this topic, I would just like to say that this one is already turning out to be a tall order.
Oh, and remember, I am your ruler.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ooh, it looks like increment weather!!!!!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Bob, you responded fast to Elizabeth's prod. I've got to Hand it to you your reply was measured and quick. I'm sure I would have stuck my foot in my mouth if I'd tried to respond so quickly.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
I don't want to put my foot in my mouth, but I understand we may be in for a mile evening.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
Oops, we both posted the foot in mouth at the same time. As you were ahead, I'll give you credit.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Way to Pound home the Foot in the mouth pun!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I know it was probably just a matter of seconds. It was probably photo type finish.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Nah, J-Man, he just missed it by a nose.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
I gave you credit...it doesn't meter to me!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
We had some lizards, but their scales shrivelled up from too much heat. They had a scale factor of 0.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Be furlong we'll be seeing multiple posters here addding their two cents.
[ July 06, 2004, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
I can't fathom the possibilities!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I have such bad back pain. It is a real acre. I wish he would survey drink, but quick!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
This really is a new angle you have, Bob.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
This is the perfect time to advocate a new society, The League of Extrodinary Punsters. I considered the League of Cunning Linguists but I felt that this had already been given much too much lip service.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
J-Man, Your last post displays such a-plumb.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
double post.. sorry
[ July 06, 2004, 08:44 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Has anyone here read Mark Twain? He was head and shoulder above the rest of his contemporaries.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
No, sadly, I never the twain shall meet.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:Oh, and remember, I am your ruler.
Well, Bob, I think of you as our "fearless litre."
Posted by DocCoyote (Member # 5612) on :
These smackdowns get going so smoothly it almost seems like music. Maybe we could somehow log a rhythm to keep it going.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
And we are his sycophantic quart?
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Elizabeth seems to be out ahead of the pack right now. But not furlong...
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
naw quart jesters
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Okay, Who has the Stones to tell Bob that this topic lacks weight?
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
punwit, that was just plain mean. I think you're developing a bad altitude.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
That's knot true.
Posted by DocCoyote (Member # 5612) on :
I height these petty arguments.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
While the beleaguered fat lady was fitted for a dress, she sang an area to help with the work. Her volume was incredible. They could hear her out in the yard.
Edit to add: When she sang the musical scales, she shattered the windows.
[ July 06, 2004, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: sndrake ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I remember playing basketball against my sister. She was a couple of years younger than me. Back in 1972 I was a lot taller than her. I was 11 and she was 9. I guess you could say we weren't Fahrenheit 9/11.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'll bet there are many punaphobiacs that find threads like this gross. If they only knew that to us this indicated 12 12's as opposed to disgusting.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Now wait just a tic! I don't mind a little small-minded humor at my expense, as long as it's measured and has a bit of poetry to it. I prefer a nice steady meter, you know.
But I must be missing the mark. I'm off on some tangent, I fear. Litreally. The puns are coming down by the bushelsful. I sure hope things peck up around here. Or we could play a nice game of dozens. We certain have a base twelve or so who'd be willing to weigh in.
I'd like to level the playing field, though. I think I would like to find someone who could help make these threads run better. Make him or her my coefficient.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
My aunt refuses to make pastry in round pans. Whenever pressed, she gets mad and yells, "Pie are square!"
The famous Admiral instituted his own version of the metric system, but it was rejected. Sadly, the Perry meter isn't around much any more.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'd volunteer for the position but unfortunately my baker's dozen an I have to keep an eye on things for him while he catches forty winks.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The young gentleman was ignoring his sword lessons and doing his geometry homework. Finally the master yelled, "Sir! Come fence!"
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Dag... Hee, heee, hee. The perry meter isn't around anymore... I love it.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
You may ask, "Watt's goin on?" My reply may re volt you but juice asked for it. This topic needs some light shed on it.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
My favorite cartoon is Kelvin and Hogshead. It's the absolute best.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Ouch, punwit. That hertz!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I wonder if any new advancements in lighting technology are lumen on the horizon?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The cockney electrician to his boss: "I'm goin' ohm now."
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did his boss offer any resistance to this declaration?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
He knew he had to leave before the boss could resist, so he just volted.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Ohm, I'm tellin.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Well I think I'm gonna call it a night. As my Gram useta say, "Balance in everything, Pun."
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Ordinally I would avoid these threads, but I was wonderin' where the hectare all the puns?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
You wouldn't know a pun if it bit you in the compass.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I take it from your protracted silence you recognize our mass pun superiority.
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
Acute girl asked me out the other night, but with my wife Poly gon I didn't feel like cheating on her.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Alright, off to bed. Just want to tell about the fisherman who was studying up on his trigonometry. He was an angler, after all.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
You're awfully combative, Dag. Parsecutorial, almost. Perhaps you were thinking, "Ah, Moose, I think cubit off more than you can chew." Well, it's been a light year for my puns, so I guess you clocked me, and I'm down for the count.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Jalapenoman, that was the right thing to do.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
I thought he was being kind of obtuse....
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
But that was just a reflex response.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Papa, the magnetude of your puns gauss ever higher. That was a faraday's work. I hope I didn't cause you to feel angstrom.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm going back to playing my video game. It's the 5th level of the arborist mode Yes, I'm up to the Sim E Tree.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Just for-t'night. By tomorrow I'll feel tons better.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The man surveying the field had to swerve to avoid hitting a kid who got in his ATV's way. This messed up his measurement; he had to spoil the rod to spare the child.
Edit: that would have worked a lot better with a horse-racing theme, wouldn't it. I hate a spoiled pun!
[ July 06, 2004, 10:52 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :
I once herd that "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him [sic]"
- Johnson
Posted by Jalapenoman (Member # 6575) on :
This thread is getting a little slow, so I think I'll log off and turn on my radius. Maybe they'll play a song Nine Inch Nails or The Rolling Stones. If they do, I'll be sure to turn up the volume. I'd jam out with my air guitar, but I can't find my guitar pica.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Nano, this thread needs a little sum-thing.
I have a friend named Millie. You should meter.
*psiiigh* The pressure is really getting to me.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Does anyone here like pi? My favorite is key lime. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am feeling all godly inside. I think it is my interior angels.
Man, I have these leftover sweets I need to get rid of. Pie, Dag? Or Ian? Theo or Em might like some, too.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I've been trying to break down this thread to it's seperate components but parse/sec computations are way beyond me. It is also confusing because I have two timepieces here, one on the left and one on the right. They are showing wildly conflicting times and I'm not sure which sidereal time is on.
Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
quote:Ordinally I would avoid these threads, but I was wonderin' where the hectare all the puns?
I have to agree. Most of these have only been 2/3 of a pun (P-U), at best. Sumone should really audit this thread to make sure the puns are up to snuff.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Watt is so bad about this thread? I am embracing it, while you are keeping it at arm's length.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I must be getting slow in my old age. I can't quart understand most of these puns.
But that's okay. I'm still happy because last week I had a gallon my knee.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, it does appear that your potential energy is decreasing. Maybe it is time for you to move north to Kineticut.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Puns are fun and silly, a way to relieve tension and exercise your mind in a relaxed manor. I would like to posit that puns can also be serious. In much the same way that comedians highlight contemporary issues. I think some of you dismiss the specific gravity of many puns.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, I cannot believe how many Boy Scout groups there are in Milwaukee! I hear they call it Den City. They can only handle them one at atom.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
punwit, would that be the intensity of the density?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm a pun-killer!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Not by a long shot.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Rivka, I can't accept the notion of you as a killer of anything and besides aren't you from the state that is known for it's liberals and tree huggers and so forth, Calipernia?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
That was a stretch. Almost out of reach... I guess he taut you a lesson.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Actually rivka, I think you've just become another statistic.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I love Rivka. I can't wait to meter.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I hear she ranks right up there.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am planning on going to the driving range with her, but only after I get the lawn mode. We will be median for the first time. But Bob, do you 'ave 'er age?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Well...I don't, but Dana sized her up. I couldn't make it so Dana was centimeter.
I've heard that rivka is quite popular. In fact people would kilometer.
[ July 08, 2004, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Eeek, if they killed to meet her, they might be arrested. If I have to go to quartile be really upset!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Elizabeth wants to take a long stick to me, and Bob thinks I smell?!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I know. It is not a full life at all, but more like a half-life.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Bah! This is getting two parseinal. It's the standard deviation we go through in these threads.
I'm going to go play my percussion instrument. It's made out of a felled tree. Yea, I really like my log o' rhythm.
[ July 09, 2004, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
Maybe sum day I'll sine up for music lessons.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Maybe I'll cosine with you, to make sure you don't go off on a tangent.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I don't know. Sounds like a slippery slope to me. Why-intercept him, Dag? I think he is is a best fit for this line of work.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
When I was at the Ak-ADD-amy, I went to a Poli-Sci/Math Deptarment Dance. We all had that terrible Al Gore Rhythm. I Inched up to this cute woman, hoping to Meter, since I was Foot-loose and fancy free. She cut me down to size, left me ego-less. She added I was short, heavy, and incalcuably wrong.
I left, running into the night. That got me into long distance running. I enjoyed it far more than the young lady at the dance. I have often been quoted as saying, "A Mile is as good as a Ms."
Posted by BlueJacsFan (Member # 6590) on :
Hmmm. Trading a femme for a furlong? Doesn't seem to measure up two me. One any marathons lately as a result of your newfound passion?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
When Noah's wife asked him how he wanted his cheese, he said, "Just cubit."
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Are you kidding? What woman measures up?
Women--Oh. What are they good 4?
Absolutely 0
1 asks 1's self, "What are they 4?". 2 be sure there are some uses.
We couldn't multipy without them, and that is a plus. 6 i7. (Have fun translating that).
W8, i5 insulted any member of the fairer 6, I in-10d 2 apoligize.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Hmm. Come on, gals, it is time to divide and conquer!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
We could hang the Drakester on a grid, and draw and quarter him.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, Dan Raven is the numerologist you are wishing to divide up. Steverino aka Drakester alias sndrake has been wholey inno cent of any Ms counting of the fairer sex.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Punwit--Shhhh.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ahhh!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Hey, he was close. But close only counts in horseshoes and perimarital sex.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ok, let's not quarrel here. We do not want anyone murdered. So, brace yourselves for a pack of fun times. People are going to be flocking to this thread. It might end up to be a whole new colony. I just hope Bob will knot bale out this time. We need his good yokes.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I herd that!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
We could use a tree to string him up, but I think a bush'l do. We can keep the birds from pecking out his i's. If that doesn't work, we'll put him in a guage. There is a degree of risk, Drakester, but I think joule be fine.
[ July 11, 2004, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Will the guage have bars? Oooh, what a graphic image you paint, Dag! I hope his burial plot isn't scattered.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)