Hatrack River Forum: Cage-building (how to capture a Claudia-Therese?)

This is topic Cage-building (how to capture a Claudia-Therese?) in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :

*licks lips*

*slicks eyebrows*

*makes with bedroom eyes at CT and jerks thumb over shoulders at luxuriant (non-apopoplectic-nor-surgerially-traumatic-emergency-service) thingomopainomatic.*

I got a boo-boo!

Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :

*folds arms*

I'll have you know THIS is NOT my best work.

*scratches pollen-laden thighs*

[Razz]

fallow

Posted by Mean Old Frisco (Member # 6666) on :

It's not all that bad. I'm picturing CT in black leather, holding a whip, and having you under complete control of the thingomopainomatic.

Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :

fallow, It's difficult for me to seperate your best work from your not so great work. Frequently I am left nursing a sprained brain after having attempted to assimilate your unique thought processes.

Is there a self-help book or tutorial that would help me in fallow comprehension? Or perhaps a pharmaceutical aid? [Wink]

Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :

punwit,

I have nothing to say.

*shrugs*
*slathers punwit's caracass with butter*
*plucks savory flesh from witless shell*
*devours*

I retract that previous statement: you are sweet.

and scrumpious.

fallow

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

Oh man! OOC here we come!

FG

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

No, I think that was pretty much IN context. [Smile]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

I think "kudos maximus" was you best work to date, fallow.

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

Whew, this thread ain't creepy, not a bit!

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

I think I'll wait for the video,

or is it DVD now,

or web-cam site.

Um, nevermind.

Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :

He has best work?

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

Pffft. A Claudia Therese cannot be captured, nor chained. She can only be admired in her free and natural state. [Smile]

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

To trap Claudia Therese:

1) Leonard Cohen music
2) A baby
3) Several linen scarves
4) A very large hat
5) A notepad w/quality pen
6) Scotch

To repel her:
1) Take her picture
2) Offer to do chores at her house
3) Compliment her to her face
4) Insult the Canadian health-care system

[ July 16, 2004, 01:22 PM: Message edited by: TomDavidson ]

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

To trap an AJ
Change
6) to Scotch Tape

[Wink]

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

I prefer my CTs free range. Juicier.

Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :

let's see, can obtain the scarves and the hat... can keep canadian healthcare jokes to a minimum... don't even have a camera... know scotches well enough to make a good impression... have scads of children, the latest under 2 mos. old...

well, if I can just keep from telling her what an amazingly cool person she is, I should be in prime position to ensnare myself a lovely specimen... as soon as I can trick her into visiting Texas.

[Cool]

[ July 16, 2004, 02:19 PM: Message edited by: Jim-Me ]

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

Have you seen A Clockwork Orange CT?

[EDIT: not that I think you should, I was just cruious if that was the cultural refrence for your first post]

Hobbes [Smile]

[ July 16, 2004, 07:18 PM: Message edited by: Hobbes ]

Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :

I suggest the good ol' quantum physics method : At any given time, there is a non-zero probability that the CT is contained in the thingomopainomatic. Sit and wait.

Or if you prefer classical physics, the Newton method is for you : CT and thingomopainomatic attract each other gravitationally. We consider friction and air resistance as negligible. Sit and wait.

Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :

That tends to be the method everyone describes for classical physics, but I like this better (still using gravity):

CT and the <whatever> attract each other gravitationally. Thus at every moment the probability of any material part of CT being closer to the <whatever> is slightly greater than the probability of it being farther apart or closer. So at every instanst CT get's slightly closer to the <whatever>. Well statistically she may veer off and take other, rand paths, but the law of averages says that eventually she has to gravitate to her most statistically favorable point, which is, due to gravity, the <whatever>

Of course my way is way more long winded... maybe that's why I like it better. [Wink]

Hobbes

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

quote:
Use a safe word.

Oh, CT, that was just so funny...

Poor fallow, he ain't got no CT to call his own. It's the CT of broken dreams for you, boy! It's the CT that never sleeps.

Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :

The Newton method indicates that your mass is non-zero. Surely that's not flattery in today's America?

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

CT did your diabetic kitty die? [Cry]

I didn't know! I'm so sorry! <<<<<hugs>>>>>

Posted by ak (Member # 90) on :

<<<<<<<<<CT>>>>>>>>>>> You're so wonderful! Don't ever leave us!

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

I'm sorry to hear about your beloved pet, CT. [Frown]

(((((CT)))))

But I am so glad that you FINALLY have a job that you love. You so deserve it. [Smile]

Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :

*dials Bug Zapper Corp., 1-800-XXX-XXXX*

"can you hold, sir?"

sure.

*listens to on-hold aquarium music while composing "thanks" speech*

[Hat]

Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :

aquarium music?

No such thing! Unless you're talking about bubbling noises. Sometimes I make "aquarium music" for obnoxious telemarketers. My wife thinks it's disgusting.

Posted by fallow (Member # 6268) on :

"bubbling noises" <- antiquarian musical fruits

"on-hold music played from a miniature orchestra in a gold-fish bowl on the other end of the line" <- aquarium musak.

*slumps to floor, drained by literalistical efforts at clarification while idly wondering if CT's ever snapped into a slim-jim"

fallow

Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :

Slim Jim?

a 23-gallon Rubbermaid waste receptacle?

a tasty beef snack that teens love?

a short-wave aerial?

a delicious blend of mystical fruits?

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

I just read Tom D's birthin' journal online.

Turns out she's really the CT of angels.