Well, I haven’t been posting much lately. Been lurking nearly every day but just haven’t had much to say. I figured I’d update everyone about me and my life before I started posting again.
My wife has been gone for about 2 months and things actually are going pretty well. Her and I are actually getting along better than we have in years. Not sure what to make of that but there has been talk of going back to counseling and seeing what happens. I don’t have much expectations of anything happening but the counseling is a good idea if only to help us learn how to live apart and keep a good relationship for the sake of the kids. It’s strange how time really does help you see things more clearly. I’ve had a great time getting to do things for myself again and have seen much more of my friends than I have in years.
Schools starts soon and that is both exciting and depressing. I’m excited for my oldest to start Kindergarten. She should do really well and has been talking about nonstop all summer. She’s so funny, she keeps telling people how she scored in the 98th percentile on her screening tests, even though she has no idea what it means. I’m not as pumped to return to school myself. The incoming group of students is one I’ve had before and lets just say I’m not thrilled about the prospect of another 9 months with them.
My basement is nearly complete. I only have to lay the carpet and put up the trim. It has turned out really awesome and I can’t wait to finally be finished.
Well, anyways that’s about all. I look forward to starting posting again because I truly have missed the awesome insights of the very wonderful people
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
Glad to see you back, beat.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Good to see you back Beatnix!
Would you think me too absolutely shallow if I asked...
So, did you stay with the beard or did you shave it off?
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
oh... it is soooooo gone. It was rocking out for a while but then I realized I just hated it. I am definately a goat kind of guy. I can't even stand a full goatee. Something about the hairy upper lip just eventually drives me nuts. But thanks for asking. Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Good to see you back, and good to hear that you're doing so well!
space opera
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:It was rocking out for a while but then I realized I just hated it. I am definately a goat kind of guy. I can't even stand a full goatee.
Cool - for something like that, the important thing is to be in touch with what you personally want and are comfortable with. (Note - that's not my overarching philosophy of life, but is suitable when applied to the special case of facial hair.)
Glad things seem to be settling for you. Hope you'll be on more often now.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Glad to see you back. I was wondering what had become of you since I had not seen anything from you for awhile.
[ August 19, 2004, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Nice to hear from you. I hope all continues to go well.
If you decide to get back together with your wife, please do both of you a favor and insist on real in depth counseling. The biggest problem of this kind of thing, I think, is that you can easily break the old patterns when you are apart, but also very easily slip back into them when you get back together. And really, a disinterested 3rd party can help you identify what's going on a lot better than the people mixed up in the middle of it can ever hope to.
Good luck!
Congrats on the basement!
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
yea, I kind of told her that serious changes have to be made by both of us and that she can't just come back because it would be easier on rent and all that. And it was weird because before I would have been all, oh i don't know the word I'm looking for here, frazled maybe, about the whole thing. Excited and anxious and all that. But I didn't feel like that at all. I was just kind of like, yea, we could try that but serious offers only please and if it doesn't work, ahh.. oh well. At least we could talk to him about how best to handle the kids. It's kind of a nice feeling not being so completely consumed by all this. Don't get me wrong, I would really like it if things work out but I realize now that it won't be the worst thing in the world if they don't and that certainly makes things easier.
and Hopefully i'll be able to send some pictures from my basement someday. because it does totally rock.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Glad to see you back, beatnix. Yeah, counseling to get to a healthy coparenting relationship (regardless of whatever else it does or does not do) is really important. Glad it's working. And very glad you have gotten to a calmer place.
quote: The incoming group of students is one I’ve had before and lets just say I’m not thrilled about the prospect of another 9 months with them.
*nods* Not true about all my students, but a certain chunk . . . *sigh*
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote: Her and I are actually getting along better than we have in years. Not sure what to make of that but there has been talk of going back to counseling and seeing what happens.
Beatnix, I hate to sound spoil-sport, but I will say that my EX and I get along great as friends, not being married -- but that doesn't mean we could EVER be married again or have that type of relationship.
Somehow it works okay as just friends and we have a good time talking when I take the kids to see him, etc. But I could never again feel the feelings for him that it takes to be married to someone. I'm glad you two can be friends now and get along well for your children's sake -- it makes it SO much easier on the kids if there is no visible bitterness. But don't take it to mean that you or her can ever again generate the emotional level needed to be together as husband/wife. It may not happen. (or it may happen on your end, but not hers, or vice versa)
Farmgirl
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
FG- I totally understand where you're coming form. I have absolutely not expectations. I'm in a very happy place with the way things are right now and am of the attitude of see what happens. I still think counseling is a good idea but I have no dillusions about what may or may not happen. I'm going with the flow and can't see being upset with where ever it may lead me.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)