Hatrack River Forum: What the world needs now is jokes, sweet jokes

This is topic What the world needs now is jokes, sweet jokes in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :

Can you think of a better time to start a joke thread? Aaah, jokes. Sweet, soothing, non-controversial jokes. A chuckle heals all.

Here's one. We went out to see some stand-up the other night. This is a paraphrase of my favorite joke of the evening. I wish I could remember the name of the comedian who told it, but there'll be no credit given here due to poor memory. Anyway...

quote:
I went to my mechanic, and he told me that my car would run a lot better if I treated it like my baby. So I took it over to my ex-girlfriend's house and abandoned it.

There's a start. Keep the ball rolling.

Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :

Some of my very own punny jokes:

The balrog walks up to Gandalf's desk after class to discuss his grade. Gandalf says to him, "You shall not pass!"

What did one mathematician say to the other at the singles bar? Hey, baby, what's your sine?

(Somebody stop me before I go off on a tangent! Secant stop now!)

Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :

My friend was telling me the other day that the only "karma" he believes in is the one that is followed by "kanic".

Posted by Jerryst316 (Member # 5054) on :

I dont really know if this is a joke but a friend of mine told me this.

One day, this guy in a mall is speaking about the true nature of karma. Without warning, he is punched in the face by one of the members of the crowd who wonders aloud "I wonder what you did to deserve that". And simply walks away! HA!

Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :

One of my all-time favorite silly jokes...

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything!" [Big Grin]

He pays for the hotdog with a ten; the vendor takes it and turns away. The Buddhist says, "What about my change?" The vendor replies, "Change comes from within!"

ba-dum-bump!

Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :

My neighbor's horse won a very prestigious award last week. You see, he's outstanding in his field.

Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :

Rene Descartes was flying in an airplane. The flight attendant came up to him and said, "Would you care for something to drink, Monsieur Descartes?" Descartes said, "Oh, I think not." And promptly vanished.

Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :

One of my favorite self-made jokes:

"What is the name of an Irish houseplant?"

"Phil O'Dendron."

Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

Posted by the master (Member # 6788) on :

what's brown and sticky?

a stick.

Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

A: He wanted to win the no bell prize.

[ROFL]