It troubles me to see how many of my young friends encounter trouble in their relationships due to an idealized view of love.
There's an element of possessiveness that starts young (I see this with my daughter's friends)and seems to cling. Why is it that you must have one best friend who does EVERYTHING with you? Or a significant other who is EVERYTHING you need?
In reality, significant relationships fulfill needs, but not ALL of them at any one time. Healthy relationships include times when you are not close, and you need to have other resources to fulfill your social/psychoemotional needs. Sometimes this is family, or other friends, religion, or yourself.
Why do we insist on finding the Perfect Person who will be everything we need (or think we need)?
Posted by Pepek (Member # 3773) on :
That's what those two guys that come to my house keep saying, they insist that having multiple wives is the way to go.. I thought they were just crazy..
-Jack Montague
[ August 28, 2004, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: Pepek ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I moved around quite a bit as a child, until college, really. I was always able to meet people easily, and never had one best friend.
My husband and I have always had different schedules. He works at night, I work in the day. We have always gone our own way and dome different things, and have complete trust in each other that way.
I think some people are possessive of their friends because they are like security blankets. I see my daughter, who has lived here all her ten years, having two very close friends. One is somewhat possessive, but she is also extremely shy. When Alyssa is with her, she feels more confident going to new places and meeting new people.