Here's one to start you off. I love Rush, but this song "Virtuality" has lyrics so bad that I can hardly stand to listen to the entire album. Here you go:
quote: Net boy, net girl Send your signal 'round the world Let your fingers walk and talk And set you free
Net boy, net girl Send your impulse 'round the world Put your message in a modem And throw it in the Cyber Sea
...
Let's dance tonight To a virtual song Press this key And you can play along
Let's fly tonight On our virtual wings Press this key To see amazing things
:vomiting smiley: Sounds like Neal got a little to excited about this new "interweb" and finally lost interest in Tolkien and Rand. Maybe he should go back to literature.
Can you beat that?
Posted by figgurat (Member # 6839) on :
*barfs on bongos*
that is soooo not...
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Yeah, that is lame. What year was that? That's like the musical equivalent of Lawnmower man.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: Dead dog lying in a ditch Cigarette smoker has an itch Secret whores with ancient vices [or is it ancient whores with secret vices?] Lucky has the lowest prices I'm gettin' higher I'm gettin' higher in the world
Granted, these are designed to make fun of bad lyrics, but they are still terrible.
edit: Who said it? You'll be my new best friend.
[ September 09, 2004, 11:16 AM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
Dana Carvey Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :
Okay, if no one can see my challenge (edit-I spoke too soon. Psi got in while I was writing this), maybe I'll have to best myself.
For my money, Avril Lavigne is the worst lyricist in the business. Of course, she's a teenager, and to be fair I haven't heard a lot of her songs. But whenever I have I've wanted to gouge my own ears out. Do people actually take this person seriously?
quote: He was a boy She was a girl Can i make it any more obvious ... He was a skater boy She said see you later boy ... Does your pretty face see what he's worth? ... We are in love Haven't you heard How we rock eachothers world
Oooh, them's bad lyrics. I almost hesitate to post it on a site started by a writer and inhabited by many writers, as it leaves a stain on the whole profession. For this, I apologize.
First, there's the theme. Some girl should feel bad that she dumped a freeloading bum just because he later wrote a popular song. It's like saying that you should stay with your alcoholic trailer-trash boyfriend because he might someday win the lottery. I'd like a sequel to the song about how this one-hit-wonder blows all his money and fails to get any marketable skills and has to spend the rest of his life on cheesy reality TV shows to feed his smack habit.
I'd deconstruct the poetic devices, but I'm sure the rest of you are intelligent enough to do that yourselves, so I'll save myself the trouble.
[ September 09, 2004, 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Speed 2: Cruise Control ]
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad- Come On (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It, You Know (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)
Woo! Woo! Woo! (And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now Just To Tell You Once Again . . .) You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- Come On (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It-You Know It (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know, You Know, You Know, Come On (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now (And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now) Just To Tell You (Just To Tell You Once Again)
You Know I'm Smooth, I'm Bad, You Know It (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad Baby (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know, You Know, You Know It, Come On (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now (And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now) Woo! (Just To Tell You Once Again)
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad-You Know-Hoo! (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) You Know I'm Bad-I'm Bad- You Know It, You Know (Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad) And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now (And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now) Just To Tell You Once Again . . . (Just To Tell You Once Again . . .) Who's Bad?
I win. Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :
Ic-- that was... bad.
Psi-- I love that song. Those lyrics were brilliant.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
Oh I got that beat... Try Kraftwerk!
Kraftwerk - Pocket Calculator Lyrics I'm the operator with my pocket calculator I'm the operator with my pocket calculator I am adding and subtracting I'm controlling and composing I'm the operator with my pocket calculator I'm the operator with my pocket calculator
I am adding and subtracting I'm controlling and composing By pressing down a special key, it plays a little melody By pressing down a special key, it plays a little melody
I'm the operator with my pocket calculator I'm the operator with my pocket calculator
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby...
That's got to be as bad as it gets.
Dagonee
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
You stopped before the worst part!
"right round round round"
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
"Light as the Breeze" has some pretty painful lines:
quote:There's blood on every bracelet you can see it, you can taste it, and it's Please baby please baby please. And she says, Drink deeply, pilgrim but don't forget there's still a woman beneath this resplendent chemise
"Resplendent chemise?" WTF? I will never forgive Christie Brinkley for leaving Billy Joel and thus causing him to mar his Greatest Hits Part 3 with this piece of aaaack.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: Hangin' round downtown by myself And I had too much caffeine And I was thinkin' 'bout myself And then there she was In platform double suede Yeah there she was Like disco lemonade I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair Who's that casting devious stares In my direction Mama this surely is a dream
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Yohzik, you do know Billy didn't right that don't you?
Dagonee *Ducks before Sara comes in...
[ September 09, 2004, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I know it's not the right thread, but I think the lyrics to "Jesse's Girl" are just wonderful. It uses the word "moot"!
quote:I play along with the charade That doesn’t seem to be a reason to change You know I feel so dirty when they start talkin’ cute I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Oh, c'mon. You guys haven't even STARTED quoting Gordon Lightfoot yet. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Jesse's Girl is one of my faves, just because I like to sing it while I'm doing the dishes in this way:
"Don't you know that I am Jesse's girl (duh neh neh)"
----
Tom:
quote: Rows of lights in a circle of steel Where you place your bets on a great big wheel High windows flickerin’ down through the snow A time you know Sights and sounds of the people goin’ ’round Everybody’s in step with the season A child is born to a welfare case Where the rats run around like they own the place The room is chilly, the building is old That’s how it goes The doctor’s found on his welfare round And he comes and he leaves on the double
Bad lyrics, but it's one of my favorite songs.
[ September 09, 2004, 01:06 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
Yes, I know he didn't write it. But I don't think he would have recorded it if his wife hadn't dumped him.
And yes, I know who DID write it and that he is supposed to be this songwriting guru. I don't care. The song still sucks.
[ September 09, 2004, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Yozhik ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
In Russia, in a car full of 5 women and the taxi driver and me, this song came blaring over the radio.
I'll quote the only pg part of the lyrics I could find:
quote: Oooh it's your duty duty To shake that booty booty So what you waiting for (Just don't tell his wife)
Lene - Its your Duty: Written By Lucas and Karen Poole & Lene
[ September 09, 2004, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Oh wait! WORST SONG EVER!
I heard this on the radio once on the way home from work and I was hysterical at how bad it was.
It goes something like:
"something, get off your seat we're doing a dance that can't be beat we barefootin' we barefootin'"
But it says "we barefootin'" over and over again. OVER AND OVER, for eternity. GAH!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I've always liked "Sex and Candy", or whatever that song is. The lyrics aren't brilliant or anything, but they aren't horrible like some of the stuff posted here.
I'm sure I'll think of something really horrible to contribute to this thread, but right now I'm drawing a blank.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: Yohzik, you do know Billy didn't right that don't you?
Dagonee *Ducks before Sara comes in...
OMG, I was so going to post exactly this thought before fifth period started and I had to quit Hatracking!
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
quote: Yohzik, you do know Billy didn't right that don't you?
Apparently, Billy wronged it.
Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
There's a song that's recently been on the radio called "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers that really bites. I won't post it, though, as it really doesn't compare to most of the other crap posted.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Get it right, Speed, it's Sk8tr Boi.
And though Pop almost wins, I'll have to enter the following:
quote:Baby when I think about The day that we first met (the day that we first met) Wasn't lookin for what I found But I found you And I'm bound to find happiness in being around you
[Chorus:] I'm glad when I'm makin love to you I'm glad for the way you make me feel I love it cause you seem to blow my mind every time I'm glad when you walk you hold my hand I'm happy that you know how to be a man I'm glad that you came into my life I'm so glad
-Jennifer Lopez, who most likely didn't even write it
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
Good Charlotte are a band that have so many truly awful lyrics that it's kinda hard to choose from. There's the unforgettable embarassment of Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous:
quote:Lifestyles of the rich and the famous They're always complaining, always complaining If money is such a problem Well they got mansions Think we should rob them
or the truly heinous The Anthem:
quote:"Go to college, a university, get a real job," That's what they said to me But I could never live the way they want I'm gonna get by and just do my time, out of step while they all get in line I'm just a minor threat so pay no mind
[...]
You...don't wanna be just like you What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem throw all your hands up, you, don't wanna be you
Shake it once, that's fine Shake it twice, that's okay Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself again
You...don't wanna be just like you What I'm sayin' is this is the anthem throw all your hands up, Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me, you, don't wanna be just like you (just like you) This is the anthem throw all your hands up, y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh) Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh) Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh) Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)
or, still, the abominable The Young and the Hopeless:
quote:'Cause, I'm young and hopeless I'm lost and I know this I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say I'm troublesome, I've fallen I'm angry at my father It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
*shudder*
EDIT to avoid copyright infringement.
[ September 09, 2004, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: digging_holes ]
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
quote: Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got I'm still (I'm still) Jenny from the Block Used to have a little, now I got alot But I still know where I came from
Right Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Sidenote - let's remember not to quote entire songs so as not to get our hosts in trouble for copyright infringement.
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
Thanks for reminding me, Annie! Post edited. Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Please, why do you all go on posting song excerpts when I have clearly already won?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
As a sidenote, I'm currently listening to a pop radio stream from France, and the song playing is a techno remix of Abba's "Gimme Gimme Gimme"
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Current Google ads for this page:
quote:Vomiting Info & Treatment Rader Programs vomiting info & treatment. Programs nationwide.
Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :
quote: I was a missionary, and my companion's mom would send us Mormon music. Crap like J.Kapp Perry. Ick!--side rant--just because you can quote scriptures to a simple tune, it does not mean I am anti-Christ for hating it.
This reminds me of one of my favorite missionary moments.
I was on my mission, and when I was in the car my companion and I would always argue about the music. All the music I brought was classical-type, and all of his was church-pop type. I relentlessly mocked his taste in music and lampooned the selections that he made when it was his turn with the tape deck. One day I was being particularly cruel about some song that was just scriptures unsuited for lyrics set to a terrible tune, and he got a little defensive.
COMP: You can't make fun of this. It's holy writ.
ME: Or at least something that rhymes with "writ."
I've never seen a comp so pissed. I still laugh when I think about it.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I heard this song at the US air base in Turkey. I only heard it once, but it is burned in my memory. Maybe I shouldn't share it. But the gist is that it is about the singer's quest for a girlfriend with bigger glutes.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Baby got back?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Big Bottom?
Posted by MattB (Member # 1116) on :
Let us not forget the late Jim Morrison, who had the insight to rhyme 'fire' with 'fire.'
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I will wholeheartedly agree that Avril Lavigne's songs are the worst lyrics I've ever heard. They don't even make any sense!!!
quote: Uh huh, life's like this Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is Cause life's like this Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is
quote: I like you the way you are When we're drivin' in your car
quote: where you are and where it's at you see you're making me laugh out when you strike your pose take off all your preppy clothes
AHHHHH!!!! WORST SONG EVER! Other than this one...
quote: You held my hand and walked me home, I know While you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go ooh ohh
quote: Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck Will get you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said
She's fairly good at making her songs catchy, which just infuriates me all the more. Posted by delicate flower (Member # 6260) on :
There were these two song we used to listen to on my high school bus. I have never heard of them or the band before or since, but if this is familiar to anyone, I’d kind of like to find the CD, just for old times sake. It has a country/western quality to it, but I’ve listened to a lot of country music, and never come across its ilk again.
In one song he talks about how he passed a note to his first girlfriend and she fell in love with him because of his mastery of punctuation. The chorus is the text of the note (with the punctuation sung in words to better illustrate the beauty of it):
quote:I love you Period Do you love me Question Mark Please please Exclamation Point I want to hold you In Parentheses
The other song is about how he got the sheriff’s daughter pregnant and the sheriff had him thrown in jail:
quote:She got knocked up. I got locked up. Guess you’d say we both got screwed.
These obviously aren’t meant to be deep and meaningful songs, so maybe they don‘t quite fit the tone of the thread. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Good times.
edit: I forgot the little quote thingies
[ September 09, 2004, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: delicate flower ]
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
This song makes me want to SCREAM and MURDER.
quote: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard And they're like it's better than yours Damn right it's better than yours I could teach you but I'd have to charge
I know you want it The thing that makes me What the guys go crazy..for They lose their minds The way I rhyme I think it's time
Lalalalala warm it up Lalalalala the boys are waiting
I have to see you on it You want me to teach the Techniques that freaks these boys It can't be bought Just dont please get caught Watch if your smart
Lalalalala warm it up Lalalalala the boys are waiting Oh once you get involved Everyone will look this way so You must maintain your charm Same time maintain your halo Just get the perfect blend What you held within Then next his eyes are squinted Then he's picked up your scent
Edited to remove the repeating... too long for that much stupidity.
[ September 09, 2004, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: Katarain ]
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
WARNING WARNING WARNING.
There's lots of cussing in this song... and I think this definately is up there in terms of worse lyrics ever. Granted its just a couple of the guys from blink 182 goofing off and the song is kinda funny for its sheer stupidity, but its lyrics are still awful.
"[tom] i want to **** a dog in the ass
[mark] he wants to **** a dog in the ass
[tom] i wanna **** a dog I tried to **** your mom in the ass Tried to **** your dad in the ass could only find the dog....and his ass
[mark and tom] we wanna **** a dog in the ass we wanna **** a dog in the ass we wanna **** a dog
[tom] I tried to **** a ****ing pirate in the ass
[mark] Aarrh me and me first mate asurvy cur
[tom] tried to **** a ****ing pirate but I've found the dog
[mark, in mexican accent] Ahh that was no pirate man that was thine own sister
[music stops]
[mark] its a Mexican pirate
[music continues]
[mark and tom] We want to **** a dog in the ass We want to **** a dog in the ass wanna **** a ****ing dog
[mark] **** you"
Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
*cracks knuckles*
These lyrics are written by a band whose name no sane parent would ever let their child listen to, and no movie would contain in conjunction with each other without a harsh R or mild X rating. They attempt to be the most offensive band you've ever heard. Please do not read the rest of my post if you are easily offended - I offer these lyrics in the sincere hope that the extremity of their offensiveness will be so ridiculous as to be funny.
Just... I can't in good conscience tell you their name. I'll leave it at that.
But anyway: their songs average about 30 seconds in length and generally consist of the lead singer shreiking the title of the song over and over again while the guitarist, drummer and bassist all try to sound like a garbage crusher. I was introduced to them because they are without a doubt the worst band known to man.
Here is a sampling of their "hits":
quote:You Live in a Houseboat
quote:I Hope You Get Deported
quote:You've Got Cancer (Cancer)
quote:Your Kid is Deformed - Oy! Oy! Oy!
quote:Hungry Hungry Hippos
I win.
[ September 09, 2004, 11:52 PM: Message edited by: Lime ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
quote: McDonalds...I'm lovin' it
Posted by Lime (Member # 1707) on :
And a more current song:
quote:I'm gonna dance all Dace Hall everyday. I'm gonna dance all Dance Hall every day. I'm gonna dance all Dance Hall every day. Well I'm giving myself another one, I have too much to say.
Dance all Dance Hall every day. I'm gonna dance all Dance Hall every day. I'm gonna dance all Dance Hall every day. I'm gonna angle for telepathy cuz I don't know the words to say.
"Dance Hall" by Modest Mouse. I don't really have an opinion of the album yet, but I do like the first 3 songs or so...
...
kaioshin00 wins.
[ September 09, 2004, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: Lime ]
Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
"who let the dogs out?"
*Puts gun to head*
The lyrics were really bad in "Rico Suave" too. I don't remember exactly how they went thoguh.
Posted by Risuena (Member # 2924) on :
What about 'The thong song'? I remember those lyrics being pretty atrocious.
Luckily, I was out of the country during the height of that song's popularity. However, I was subjected to 'La Bomba':
quote: Un movimiento sensual (sensual), Un movimiento muy sexy (sexy), Un movimiento muy sexy (sexy) y aquí se viene el africano con el baile que es una (bomba) Para bailar esto es una (bomba), para gozar esto es una (bomba), para menear esto es una (bomba) y las mujeres lo bailan así, así, así, así. Todo el mundo: una mano en la cabeza, una mano en la cabeza, un movimiento sexy, un movimiento sexy, una mano en la cintura, una mano en la cintura, un movimiento sexy, un movimiento sexy y ahora empiezo a menear: suavecito para abajo, para abajo, para abajo, suavecito para arriba, para arriba, para arriba suavecito para abajo, para abajo, para abajo, suavecito para arriba, para arriba, para arriba
Translation (feel free to replace 'the bomb' with 'da bomb,'):
quote: A sensual movement (sensual) A very sexy movement (sexy), a very sexy movement (sexy) And here comes the African with the dance that is the (bomb) To dance this is the (bomb) To enjoy this is the (bomb) To shake it is the (bomb) And the women dance like this, like this, like this, like this. Everybody: A hand on your head, a hand on your head A sexy movement, a sexy movement, A hand on your waist, a hand on your waist, A sexy movement, a sexy movement And now I begin to shake it: Smoothly down, down, down Smoothly up, up, up Smoothly down, down, down Smoothly up, up, up
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote: *whiny voice*
But it's my turn to drive...it's my turn to drive...
I'm afraid Driven stands out as one of the greatest songs ever ever evar.
When you learn to play bass as well as Geddy in that song, you can make fun of it.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
quote:I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I'm disco dancing
Yeah, right ... Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
quote:I heard this song at the US air base in Turkey. I only heard it once, but it is burned in my memory. Maybe I shouldn't share it. But the gist is that it is about the singer's quest for a girlfriend with bigger glutes.
Pooka, I think there's likely an entire genre devoted to those kinds of songs. Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
quote: But for all around good time bass, I have to give Victor Wooten first place.
I love me some Wooten, too. I've seen him live twice, now. I'm pretty sure he's possessed.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
The "Macarena" has to be on this list.
And though the beat is catchy, "Blue" by Eiffel65 has to be there too.
quote: Yo, listen up here's a story about a little guy that lives in a blue world. And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.
Blue his house with the blue little window and a blue cord rack and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, 'cause he ain't got nobody to listen.
I love Italians who try to speak in hip-hop style while wearing their puffy sports clothes.
'nuff said.
Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :
Alexa, didn't you once say that you have the album Flight of the Cosmic Hippo by Bela Fleck and the Flecktones? Is that where you heard Victor Wooten first, or was it one of his solo albums?
If you haven't listened to that record for a while, now's the time. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Oh man! Speaking of Eiffel65:
quote: tekken 3, metal gear solid resident evil, gran turismo, omega boost, bloody rhoar, x-files, another world come on ridge racer odd world we get a living that came in our posession
P. L. A. Y. S. T. A. T. I. O. N. P. L. A. Y. S. T. A. T. I. O. N. P. L. A. Y. S. T. A. T. I. O. N. P. L. A. Y. S. T. A. T. I. O. N.
*repeat ad infinitum*
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
Yeah, that was a pretty bad album as far as lyrics go. I like the techno music, but the words? It's funny when non-native speakers try to write lyrics in another language (Shakira, anyone?)
I mean a song about Playstation?
And this one:
quote: the bubble doesn't make you but it's you that makes the bubble, and you better try to remember that it's in your head. the bubble is a very tricky thing all full of type and it is not easy to try to see the way things are they'll always be.
Please. My ex-wife asked me if he was saying "Bible" instead of "bubble" since the way it was sung, they sounded so much alike.
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
You guys ever hear of Rennaisance?
quote: I am words, I am speaking I never heard my conclusion Lost in my confusion In illusion Lost inside the picture frame I'm not to blame I didn't see the black flame I'm not ashamed It's poetry the black flame I'm rearranged It's changing me the black flame Burns my blackened brain I am strong, I am leaving I never knew I'd feel the need so Where I'll go, I'll turn the flow I could not know Screams inside the burning pain With spinning head It's underhand the black flame It lies inside I turned and I ran the black flame On me it fed I understand the black flame Burns my blackened brain Run from me, don't you see That we are one and I'm a part of you Get away, anyway I'm still a secret in the heart of you And I'm burning in your soul Now I'm weak, I am losing I never thought I'd stop trying I'm just a lie, just a sign, just a cry Just a symbol of the game Suspended pain I cannot face the black flame Intended dear I cannot trace the black flame Extended Reaching into space the black flame Burns my blackened brain
Annie Haslam has a great voice, and the music's pretty good, but the lyrics? drivel.
However, I LIKE sk8tr boi's lyrics. Especially that opening line:
quote: He was a boy She was a girl Can I make it any more obvious ?
(Hint: She knows her lyrics are juvenile, that's the whole point)
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
All your bases, bases, bases All your bases are belongs to us.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Shakira. *snort*
"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains."
What was she afraid he was going to do? Climb them with a grapling hook? Camp in them? MAP THEM? The horror!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Strip mine those mts.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
Maybe carve out the president's head?
MadTV did a skit making fun of her lyrics. Something abbout using an English/Spanish dictionary and a rhyming book to create lyrics that made no sense. It was funny.
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
Ah, no, Dags and Icarus. There is room for individual taste of whatever sort.
*covertly jotting down the names of the infidels, for after we're finished with Berlin
(By the way, he wrote FWTM from the point of a terrorist. Awfully prescient.)
[ September 10, 2004, 01:20 PM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
It gets worse. There was this little gem, from the same friends mentioned above, that makes "My Console" seem like high philosophy.
This is the entire song. I hope copyright is not infringed.
quote: Everybody is looking for the dub in life, Everybody Just keep on asking Why Why Why, What is dub, dub in this life?
(Repeat 5 x)
Shootin' fish in a barrel, man.
[ September 10, 2004, 01:30 PM: Message edited by: IanO ]
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
"Puberty love..."
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Hey I gotta defend my homegirl Shakira here. The line about mountains happens to be exactly the same in Spanish. (Suerte que mis pechos sean pequeños y no los confundas con montañas) A lot of her lyrics in Spanish are pretty postmodern too- I especially like things like:
"Si no tiene más que un par de dedos de frente Y descubres que no se lava bien los dientes Si te quita los pocos centavos que tienes Y luego te deja solo tal como quiere ... Toda escoba nueva siempre barre bien Luego vas a ver desgastadas las cuerdas Cuando las arrugas le corten la piel Y la celulitis invada sus piernas..."
Isn't that the kind of thing you've always wanted to say to someone?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I'd like to know if anyone can tell me what this means:
quote:Take me down, 6 underground, The ground beneath your feet, Laid out low, nothing to go Nowhere a way to meet I’ve got a head full of drought, Down here, so faroff losing out Round here,
Overground, watch this space, I’m open to falling from grace
Calm me down, bring it round Too way high off your street I can see like nothing else In me you’re better than I wannabe Don’t think ’cos I understand, I care, don’t think ’cos I’m talking we’re friends
-6 Underground, Sneaker Pimps
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Um, I think he wants to die?
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
These probably aren't in the running for the worst ever, but they crack me up nontheless.
quote: Im a holy terror, a tornado wind me up turn me loose and let me go
Chorus: Too much fun whats that mean It's like too much money, theres no such thing Its like a girl too pretty, or too much class Being too lucky, or car to fast No matter what they say ive done, well i aint never had too much fun
No matter what they say ive done, well i aint never had too much fun Give me the reins and let me run cus i aint never had too much fun
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Heh. If we're bringing up country, I could go all day.
Toby Keith. Enough said.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
::glares::
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
Country music thrives on puns.
That makes for goofy lyrics, no question.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
A favorite of mine:
Jimmy Buffett - Mental Floss
I'd like to be a jellyfish 'Cause jellyfish don't pay rent They don't walk and they don't talk With some Euro-trash accent They're just simple protoplasm Clear as cellophane They ride the winds of fortune Life without a brain
(Chorus) In one ear and out the other Don't you get criss-crossed I recommend you try a little Mental floss
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Like it matters.
*avoids reading terrible lyrics again*
: P
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Wooten's a bad @$$ bassist fer sure.
Ged's just the man, though... nobody grooves off times quite so well. And doing it while singing, well, that's just sick... even if you don't like his voice.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Actually, I very much appreciate that country often does not take itself seriously. Rock could use a dose of Lighten Up.
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
Yup. That's why I love Jimmy Buffett, he can be serious, he can be hilarious. I'm mad that I didn't notice he's in Boston THIS WEEKEND until now.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Icarus, one of my favorite songs is a heavy metal song about a guy that really needs the bathroom while driving down the highway, and there's nowhere to stop. That's light.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Oh, I wasn't saying that there aren't any funny rock songs. Heck, that's one of the reasons I love "Paradise by the Dashboard Light." Just that it's a lot more common in country, and that I think that's cool.
Posted by Speed 2: Cruise Control (Member # 6765) on :
I can't let this go without putting in a good word for my man Wesley Willis. This dude has the craziest lyrics I've ever heard.
Check out his catalogue. If you can find some samples of his music, listen to them. Here's a few of my favorites.
quote: You are a rocking maniac You are a singing hyena You are a rock star in Jesus' name You can really rock Saddam Hussein's ass
-Alanis Morissette
quote: Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor I got back up and knocked him to the floor He was being such a jackoff
-I wupped Batman's ass
quote: My mother is a dope fiend My mother smokes paraphenelia as I speak My mother buys cocaine from a dope man She loves to smoke that crack pipe
-My mother smokes crack rocks
quote: McDonalds is the place to rock It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat It is a good place to listen to the music People flock here to get down to the rock music
...
McDonalds hamburgers are the worst They are worse than Burger King A Big Mac has 26 grams of fat A Quarter-Pounder has 28 grams of fat
-Rock and Roll McDonalds
quote: Plug me full of holes in my bootyhole Fill me full of lead in my asscrack Take my life away from this earth Blow my ass away from this world
-Shoot me in the ass
Posted by Pepek (Member # 3773) on :
Ummm... I'm sorry but for songs that I think actually count in this whole thing.. Icarus probably wins.. "I'm Bad" really is pretty bad.. I'm looking at lyrics, not the way the song sounds..
This song doesn't count:
quote: This is the song, lala la la, Elmo song
Which is absolutely terrible..
This one counts :
quote: [Chorus] Let me hold you Girl caress my body You got me going crazy - You Turn me on Turn me on... Let me jam you Girl wine all around me You got me going crazy - You Turn me on Turn me on...
[Madzart Rap] The girl ya nah go get way tonite If she think madd man nah go fight Me done feed she with popcaorn and sprite Now she whar come fly way like kite Ooh Yea Yea Ooh Yea Yea Ooh Yea Yea Yeah Ooh Yea Yea Yea Yea Yea Yea Yea Yea...
[Verse 2] One hand on the ground & Bumper c*** sky high Wining hard on me Got the Python Hollerin' for mercy - Yea hey - ai Then I whisper in her ear So wine harder And then she said to me Boy just push that thing Push it harder back on me
[Chorus]
[Bridge x2] Girl Just Hug Me, Hug Me, Kiss Me, Squeeze Me Hug Me, Hug Me, Kiss & Caress Me
And I think i'd prefer to listen to the elmo song any day.
-Jack Montague
[ September 11, 2004, 05:46 AM: Message edited by: Pepek ]
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Speed, Alexa - Okay, I have to admit. I abhor the lyrics to Dog Years. And the net song you mentioned earlier. It makes me feel dirty and disloyal, but I've said it.
However, everything about Driven still kicks @ss.
Posted by Alucard... (Member # 4924) on :
From former Beatle George Harrison:
I've got my mind set on you I've got my mind set on you I've got my mind set on you I've got my mind set on you
And it's gonna take money A whole lot of spendin' money
. . . . . . And the horror goes on and on...
This is the first time in a long time that I used the copy and paste function too. Isn't technology wonderful?
P.S. I love Kraftwerk and "Pocket Calculator" is a work of pure genius!
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: "This song is just six words long..."
Actually, that's "This Song's Just Six Words Long," making it, uh, six words long.
btw, Harrison did not write the original song. It's just about the only song on the album that is not by him.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
The title is "(This Song's Just) Six Words Long" but the chorus is "This song is just six words long"... plus add in the various verses... =)
Goody
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
quote: couldn't think of any ly-rics no I never wrote the lyrics so I'll just sing any old lyrics that come to mind, chi-ild ... you gotta sing 'em o-ver, and over and over and over and over and over and over mmmm-mmm and over and over and over and over and over and over again!
I love that song.
(hope I counted the "and over"s right.)
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, we're doing a whole genre of music a terrible disservice by not covering the truly abysmal quality of most rap lyrics. I'm not even talking the deliberate toughguy/guttersnipe acts, here.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
Word
Posted by Yozhik (Member # 89) on :
The Mad TV parody of Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever" is HILARIOUS:
quote: Whatever, Don't Matter
Me, I was born so far away that I speak English as a second language I don't understand the words I say There's no word that rhymes with "language"
Lucky that I have a smokin' body, Cause I only sing in gibberish, Lucky that I am such a hottie, Watch my hips go quiverish,
Bebabebabababa, Bebabebabababa Good news for you, I'm double jointed, too
Whatever, don't matter, I could sing about pancake batter, I just shake my derierre, And you won't go nowhere, Bend over, come under, Now enjoy my thighs of thunder, I just thrust my hips and glare, And you won't go nowhere
Lucky, that my hips are really jerky, When I shake them they move mountains, Lucky that my breasts are proud and perky And my lips are full and pouty
Bebabebabababa, Bebabebabababa, Time to crawl into the mud,
Whatever, don't matter, You wouldn't listen if I were fatter, But I got a spicy rear, So you won't go nowhere, Peek under, turn over, I make no sense if you are sober, So I shake my hips and hair, And you won't go nowhere.
[ September 14, 2004, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Yozhik ]
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
quote: Or Ace Of Base...
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What you gonna tell your dad It’s like a wheel of fortune And what you gonna tell your dad If this wheel lets you down My love is my engine And you might be fuel Stop acting cool Just bet you might win I’m not too cool (I’m in love with another fool)
Don’t push me I don’t wat to can’t you see it Hasten slowly And don’t count your chicks Before the’re hatched baby --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(note: the word "hatched" is pronounced "hatch-ed")
This just made me laugh. For some reason I missed this post. I love that AoB album. But "Hatch-ed" always did seem odd. And that song about Sleeping Beauty and a with or something. Breaking the spell. The lyrics- man- they make no sense what-so-ever. The same could be said for the "Bridges" album (or whatever it was called.)
You could cite Eiffel65, Roxette, Ace-of-Base ad naseum in this list. Some really catchy (even fun) music, but the words are just bad (bad, bad, bad).
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
Me too. Posted by gwan (Member # 6194) on :
Oh... "your like a rainbow, I'll always be true...inside. I'm going to love you and stand by your side."-Attic bass It makes no sense and THEY are native english speakers.
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:vomiting smiley: Sounds like Neal got a little to excited about this new "interweb" and finally lost interest in Tolkien and Rand. Maybe he should go back to literature.![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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