I went to a toga party and soon was three sheets to the wind. And now, we are in our cups, a tempest in a tea cup. Well, more like a Long Island ice tea cup, but you get the idea. Puns to take us Bacchus to our mispent youth, drinking in bars, pubs, and porcelain gods.
I hoist a nut brown ale in your honor!
And now, I tap the person next in the thread to let the puns flow freely.
[ September 14, 2004, 07:41 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
This topic is Dionysis!
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I don't get Dagonee's pun.
Man, I always thought if I could get started early in one of these threads, I could rock the Casbah. But I'm coming up dry.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
What a grape idea.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
(pooka, think of JJ from Good Times)
Let's all dance an Irish Jigger.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:Let's all dance an Irish Jigger.
Terrible. Just terrible.
*booze*
*throws rotten oranges (fuzzy navels, of course)*
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Those that benefitted from a firm mentor should appreciate the specific gravity of this thread. If you don't appreciate the specific gravity but you still participate, that should sulfite. I certainly hope that no one becomes Bordeaux resentful of all this talk of alchohol.
Ale be the first to say, Hi, My name is Darren and I'm an punaholic.
[ September 14, 2004, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Waiting for the next pun smackdown is always like looking for somewhere to dock your ship when it is storming, any Port will do.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The monks set up their monestary at the end of a small valley that caught the breeze.
It was their Zen fan dell.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am so cold! Can I get some mojitover here?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
It was so much fun on Cape Cod this summer. Their were some born and bred Cape Codders dancing in the sea breeze. Why not? They had just had sex on the beach.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
You're such a cosmopolitan. Are you from Manhattan?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm mixed up.
Actually, this thread has left me shaken.
I think I'll put it on ice.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Stirring, Bob. Just stirring.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Just muddle it over for a while, Bob.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Please, take good carafe each other.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The kindergartners put their winter coats in the box for them - the Brrrr bin.
Then they all sat down and waited to meade the teacher.
One of the kids dropped his cookie. He used the whiskey broom to sweep them up.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Did you know there is a famous lawyer move called the Dag Query?
[ September 14, 2004, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Ah yes, the Dag Query. Doesn't that come under the umbrella (small, bamboo, and covered in paper) of the spirit of the law?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
The following is NOT a pun. No matter what you may think.
Q: How do you please a woman? A: Liquor.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'll take that up with the bar. If I drink too much I get motion sickness.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
"Where's your pun spirits?" he asked ryely.
Posted by DocCoyote (Member # 5612) on :
Did anyone read that Harper Lee classic, "Tequila Mockingbird?"
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I prefer Gertrude Stein. Except after she got mugged. She was a bit frosty for awhile afterwards.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I always thought Stein had too big a head.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
She was there at the Guinnessis of the modern feminist movement.
[ September 15, 2004, 08:02 AM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Isn't she also a bit on the stout side?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I heard she took a lot of pilsner.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm sure everyone has heard the crude comments that correlate the attractiveness of someone based on how many beers one has consumed. I'd just like to posit that wine (at least for me) has a similar effect. After consuming 3 or 4 glasses of wine every woman begins to look like the Goddess of Love, you know, Vinous.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
That's a grape pun!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Madiera Dagonee, I'm grapeful that you appreciated my latest pun. It's a good thing that you can't see my present state of dishabile. The chablis clothes and umkempt hair might have influenced your perception of my efforts. My diminutive father (sometimes referred to as Petite Sirah) as well as my wife, Sherry, would be aghast at my lack of hygiene.
[ September 15, 2004, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Punning is an absolut waste of time, but I admit I’m addicted.
My friend Mel loves to play hide-and-seek, but I don’t. I only count to five, and that’s not enough time formaldehyde.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Sometimes people drink too much and are absinth from work the next day.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
One of the more distasteful consequences of being around those that drink whiskey is the noxious fumes expelled when they bourbon me. Jeez, excuse you!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I came here to pun, but find I'm a bit too groggy.
g'night. You don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the heck outta here! Alcohol you on your cell.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The dieting southern belle said, "Mah teeny lunch was so good today."
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I hope olive to see another day.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Until we mead again, honey.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Ah, good. Bob's bock in the thread.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You guys are good Buds. You really Lite up my day. Of Coors, it has not always been this way. LaBatts time is yet to come. This humor in this thread is side-Schlitting. Maybe our Live Pun Smackdown could be in Good Old Milwaukee.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think Elizabeth is trying to ferment a revolution.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Well hop to it and make some more puns - it's the yeast you can do.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oak-kay, I will.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am going to lie down. I've been straight up all day.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
At the risk of belagering the point, Elizabeth, you should rest. Teaching is a difficult job and you need to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to deal with those rowdy kids.
I know that a bit of alchohol might help you relax. In my view there is nothing wrong with that, in fact it's neat.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, Punwit, you are right. I do not want all this work to hang over me all the time.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
Oh, I'm sure your superiores will be overbeering.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
Oh don't worry..just eat, drink and be bloody mary for tomorrow ye shall die.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
Au cointreau! Her ginius will live on.
And now I’ll just châteaup, or I’ll wine up with a drinking problem.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, I don;t know. A colleague of mine drank too much, and we had to spritz 'er with water to wake her up. She was a lot cooler after that, and she sang rial nice.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Life is a cabernet, old chum.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
You’re pinting a grum picture here. Aren’t teachers supposed to keep a claret head?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
How the heck else do you think we survive? Beer was invented by a Sumerian teacher. It is a known fact. They sure made a good ka on that one!
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
This thread is too difficult for me to participate in. I look and stare at it, like a beer caught in a headlight.
Well, off I go. Have to get my car gassed up. Sadly, the worker has to run the pumps AND the new Subway that they stuck in there which takes up so much of his time. Tastes great, less filling.
fil
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
Oh, draught it! I see I’ve bin playing devil’s Advocaat here, Elizabeth. Punning is my raisin d’être, so I just wanted to boozt my confidence by proofing I could write a fruity punch line.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
Eeh.. what I'm trying to say is: I'm not a brut. Can we kirsch and make up?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Of Coors we can, Trondheim.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
But not to the tun of Moonshine Serenade! Could you pitcher that? We are not that sappid, are we?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Absolut-ly not, if I don't kahlua name, you won't do it back.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
Man, has anyone enjoyed playing old games on their PC? The only problem running DOS is that my keyboard doesn't always work. In fact, all the keyboards I have seem to have the same problem. I have problems with their DOS "A" Keys.
[ September 17, 2004, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: fil ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Many of these puns are leaving me flat. I prefer those that are sparkling. My wife gets tired of me wasting time on here when I could be doing something productive. I often champaign in my back and claim the computer chair is the most comfortable. This ruse rarely leaves her bubbly.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Punwit, If you try to fool your wife, you will be toast.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
People that are addicted to alchohol have their own organization that backs them up, support, compassion, a stern lecture when called for. I would like an organziation for lovers of alchohol that aren't addicted, one that would bacchus in our daily lives. Whaddya all think?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
All the recent political friction has sparked some (for me, rare) serious contemplation about WMD's It seems that WMD's are now the rallying cry. We keep hearing about so and so has WMD's and that's not fair. If we use our military might to enforce our complaint that it isn't fair, would that be called a fortified whine?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Any Port in a storm Mr. Punwit, Any port in a storm.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
It would also take some bols, concidering the currant situation.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
When it comes down to it, though, isn't this all really about gin-etics? I think it will all just fizz-le out slo-ly.
[ September 17, 2004, 05:49 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
You are so eloquent, Elizabeth. I love how you manage to be so ginteel in your remarks.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did you hear about the waiter that was fired for delivering liquour to a japanese customer that was a devout teetotaler. The waiter swears the man said, "Irish Cream, please".
[ September 17, 2004, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Not a pun: (Oh, Punwit, my husband served a roomful of AA members creme de menthe parfaits once. Luckily, one of them asked what it was before he ate it.)
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
Suggestion for a new movie, mixed version:
Lords of the Binges IV
Synopsis: Gimlet and Lemonas become bored, and when they hear that Saurignon has kidnapped Queen Genever, they set out on a new adventure. They are captured and thrown in the Bunghole where they have to fight a dangerous Flagon. But Merlot, the whizzered, comes to their rescue. Syrah Lancelot soddenly appears and whiskys the lady away…
There’s rum for improofment. Anyone? And I need help with casking.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
It's a good thing it wasn't a fait accomplice.
[ September 17, 2004, 06:31 PM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Trondheim, Excellent effort
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
We've really hit the dregs.
If you bite your tongue, is that the same as holding your licker?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Hmm. I am not sure, Bob. I will ask my palate the bar.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Wal-Mart is where you go for regular shopping. If you want to buy in bulk, you go to their Sam's Club.
But they realized there was no place to go for buying small amounts.
That is why the are introducing the Wal-MARTINI.
Its a great place. I am there so often some say Olive at the Wal-MARTINI. The truth is vemouth-ing in next week.
Pardon my Dry wit.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Vodka be the meaning of this?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
There does seem to be a twist to this story, Bob. I am straining to figure it out, but it will be neat when I do.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
My attempts to construct a Lambic pentameter have proved daunting. Each attempt left me stranded up a Kriek without a paddle. You'd never Gueuze how difficult this process can be.
Busy schedule today so I Muscat. I'll return later with more Plzen thoughts.
[ September 18, 2004, 08:49 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
OK, Punwit, but don't bock down from your word!
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, do you think our Wit automatically earns us the designation as Weiss guys?
*Schuss away any Weiss guys with sarcastic remarks on their agenda.*
Edit to explain the term schuss since a search didn't immediately reveal the appropriate definition. Schuss is a green (woodruff) or red (rasberry) sweet additive for Berliner Weiss beers that offset the astringent/sour nature of that style of beer. Look for Berliner Weiss mit Schuss. Actually here you go.
[ September 18, 2004, 09:16 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yes, I think so. My friend Lee doesn;t, though. When we went to the Bar, Lee Wined a lot.
[ September 18, 2004, 09:11 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Elizabeth, I look forward to an opportunity to do just that. Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
Anyone worried about the new "disease of the month" coming out of southeast asia? While not the Hong Kong Flu, it is draining. For me, I'll pass on getting the India Pale Ail.
fil
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Apparently there is an antidote out there for those that are interested. It's quite Bitter though.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
And sadly, the minimal dosage is a Pint. Doesn't that seem excessive? You would have thought a Shot would be enough.
fil
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Man, Hurrican Ivan is tough! It slammed Alabama very hard. No sex on the beach last week, for sure. And those mudslides were terrible! It must have been particularly dangerous for those whose houses were built on the rocks.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
When I asked for a Sea Breeze, this wasn't what I meant. No moet hurricanes, please!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You know, it is almost as of the South has been kirsched.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
I don't know why they skipped right to Jeanne with the Hurricanes. Clearly Harvey would have been next. We had Frances, roof toppler. Ivan, tree thrower and Harvey, wall banger.
fil
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Liz,now that's a cherry thought.
[ September 18, 2004, 01:19 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Surely, Temple College is safe from this storm?
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I hate to be an I told you so type but I've never understood those folks that say Florida is such a wonderful utopian like paradise. The hot humid weather is enough to dissuade me much less the hurricanes that shatter the Sangria La myth.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Well, I've mulled it over and for all our sake, I hope that's the last big storm this season.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I agree, let's hope that the skies remain clear That the days are filled with blue skies and at night the moonshines down on Floridians.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Still at it, I see.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
Can the hurricane references. I feel this thread is not going anywhere, kind of like a lager jam.
fil
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Sort of like a beer jelly?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Bob, ouzo funny!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Did anyone see that movie starring Shiraz a witch?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Did she have a Yellow Tail in it? I think I saw that one. I was staying in Cabin A at the time.
Edit for yellowtail Shiraz-induced typographic errors.
D'Oh! I am leaving that one in as proof that I need to STOP TRYING TP TYPE.
Oh. My. Gosh. I totally did not mean to make that typo. I am going to bed.
[ September 18, 2004, 09:13 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Hmmm. Does that mean you're too typsy to post?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Was that a gratuity compliment, Dag?
Or was it another Dag Query?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I don't have a kahlua.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
That was very off-putting, Bob, and my people did not apreciate it. I think I am going to challenge your gang to a rum ball.
[ September 19, 2004, 07:28 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Fruitcake!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
You are really trying to stir things up, Bob.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
And, um, Bob, you are going to marry a minister. Shouldn;t you be getting ready for kirsch?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think they use Creme de Sacramenthe these days.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ha ha ha!
OK, I just had to get that out. It is so hard not to publicly laugh after these, so this ha ha ha has to cover a huge time span. Creme de sacramenthe.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
The thought of any sort of a beautiful marriage ceremony leaves me shaken, not stirred.
fil
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I know many men and women who will tux in to a stiff drink just to avoid thinking about marriage.
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
Excellent effort
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)