Hatrack River Forum: Public Service Announcement for those who design forms

This is topic Public Service Announcement for those who design forms in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

The word "briefly" should never be used on a form in conjuction with the words "call to ministry," "theological orientation" or "leadership style."

AAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGH!

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :

*pat pat*

It will be okay. Get some hot cidar. Arrange all of BpW's monkeys in gymnastics positions around the house. Then go back to the silly forms.

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

Knowing firsthand how longwinded those of the ministry can be, I suspect that's exactly why the word is there. (Though your sermon that I heard was suprisingly brief in comparison with what I'm normally accustomed to, so it should actually be easier for you!)

Good Luck!
AJ

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

[ROFL]

As I design forms for the program we are developing . . .

I swear to NOT use the word briefly!

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Addendum: “indicate your self-perceived proficiency” is a phrase that should never be used. Anywhere. Ever.

Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :

I won't use the word briefly. I'll just set a small character limit for the text box [Evil]

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

Are you sure you want to do whatever it is that you are filling out the form for? If they are this bad at their forms...

AJ

Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :

Now I'm howling, dkw! You realize that question is designed to ensure humility in generous proportions?

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Banna, yes, I’m pretty sure I want to have my annual professional interview with my district superintendent.

Wait . . . in the spirit of some other thread, I should probably change that to, I’m sure that I don’t want the consequences of ditching my annual professional interview with the district superintendent more than I do want to get out of filling out my profile form. [Big Grin]

"Describe your preaching style."

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :

AJ, based on the phrases in the first post, I'm betting this form has something to do with her upcoming ordination. So yeah, she probably wants to do it.

Edit: Well, I was close.

[ October 01, 2004, 01:17 PM: Message edited by: ElJay ]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

So the same form that wanted you to be brief used the phrase “indicate your self-perceived proficiency”? [ROFL]

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

Isn't she already ordained?

(everything else makes sense now. Well the reasons for filling out the form makes sense. The form itself...)

AJ

Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :

quote:
describe your preaching style

Fire and brimstone?

"Yeah, right, brimstone, don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelt and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither."

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

AJ, I’m commissioned. In the UMC you have to actually serve a church full time for three years before your final ordination. (I’ve got two years at ¾ time, and am in my third year of full time.) And then complete a written and oral exam.

The ordination paper will be much worse. But I get 80 pages or so for that one.

It's got great questions like "For the sake of the mission of Jesus Christ in the world and the most effective witness to the Christian gospel and in consideration of your influence as an ordained minister, are you willing to make a complete dedication of yourself to the highest ideals of the Christian life; and to this end will you agree to exercise responsible self-control by personal habits conducive to physical health, intentional intellectual development, fidelity in marriage and celibacy in singleness, integrity in all personal relationships, social responsibility, and growth in grace and the knowledge and love of God?"

Which really could have a one word answer, but I've been warned not to try it. [Big Grin]

Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :

You know Paul was good at runnon sentences too.

AJ

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

What would be the funniest one word?

"HELLO!!!"

"D'oh!"

"Depends"

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

I'm still considering arranging my paper so that that question is at the top of a page, followed by, "yes" and the remainder of the page blank. Then put the elaboration on the next 3-5 pages. The question is whether the members of the BOM interview team will have a sense of humor about it or not. [Monkeys]

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

Hey! Maybe A.J., Vána and I can help you with the "preaching style" in brief words. We've heard you -- so that makes us able to evaluate from a listener standpoint.

Hmmmm......let me think about that for a bit. Wow - what would I call your "style"??

FG

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

"Which really could have a one word answer, but I've been warned not to try it."

Why not? It seems to me that a one-word answer is really as comprehensive an answer as the question requires.

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

"Consise."

[Big Grin]

And I have to turn off Hatrack for a while and get serious. I'll see you all later. [Wave]

Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :

You could get a good 10 or so pages for your essay by inserting this.

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Tom, I’d love to. Especially since it’s followed by “What is the meaning and significance of the sacraments?” on which I could write a dissertation. But there is an implied “explain” after the question, that it would be a bad idea to ignore.

Zan, that would have to go under question 1 "How has the practice of ministry affected your experience and understanding of God?" [Laugh]

[ October 01, 2004, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: dkw ]

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :

Me, I'd just answer the question with "Y." But that's probably why I'm not an ordained minister.

Posted by dabbler (Member # 6443) on :

I think a checkmark would be best. [Smile]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

[ROFL]

Never actually read "God, you say" before this. I took the "Potentially offensive" warning way too seriously.

[ October 01, 2004, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Profile done, and sent. [Smile]

On the other, I’ll admit that the real reason I’m not going to answer the question with “check!” or “yes” is because I have to get through an oral exam with the people who read the paper. And, while I don’t think they’d refuse to recommend me, our time together will be much more pleasant if I don’t annoy them before it even starts.

Besides, if they get irritated with me they’re likely to assign a 2 page “reflection paper” before they’ll recommend me, and I’ll do anything to avoid 2 page reflection papers. [Angst]

Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :

Anything? [Evil Laugh]

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Pretty near.

Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :

"My preaching style will not cause people to faint with hunger".

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :

We could paint you silver, and then you'd be more reflective.

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

I don't like silver.

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :

Just trying to be helpful.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Considering the last two 2-pager topics, I can't say as I blame you!

Glad you got the questionnaire done.

I think your preaching style is best described as "content rich" or "Bob thinks I'm the best."

Either one works for me.

Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :

quote:
“indicate your self-perceived proficiency”

Sounds like a nerd's pick-up line [Smile]

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Well folks, the interview that the forms were for is today at 10:45 (11:45 Hatrack time). Besides all of the fun self-evaluation stuff, one of the major topics of discussion is whether or not I will be on the move list for next year, and if so, what type of appointment would be a “good fit.” So send happy vibes.

And maybe pray for Bob. He’s marrying into the whole itinerancy gig -- he’d decided he didn’t want to move again for a while, and now he’s likely to be moving three times within 9 months (To Radcliffe, then into the parsonage after the wedding, then wherever the Bishop and cabinet send us next July).

Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :

~~~~~~~~~~Dana&Bob~~~~~~~~~~

Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :

pssst.

Under the line Sex--they just want Male or Female, not a dissertation on its role in society, or a critique of pre-marital, extra-marital, homosexual, or pedophical trysts place in the decline of society and religious perceptions. Definately not about any combination of all of the above.

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :

Now you tell me!

Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :

Hope things went well, dkw. I am pretty sure Bob would follow you anywhere.

Call me crazy, but the sample questions you posted sounded kind of fun to answer.

Oh.... how about if we painted you in white gold...

**********
[Confused]

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Nope, she's not into platinum either.

Let us also not forget that I moved to TX only one year ago.

Ugh!

Had I known, I would've invested in a better class of moving box.

And bought a dang 26' panel truck.

[ October 06, 2004, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]