Rumors are high that something amazing will be pulled out of the air to help tip the scales towards a Bush re-election. Columnists are writing about it, websites are betting on it, Democrats are dreading it. What will it be?
Osama bin Laden will be captured
Bush bodily ascends to heaven during campaign speech
A new attack by al Qaeda
A new war front in Iran / Israel / North Korea
Receipt found in Saddam's holdings, proves that Osama was a "Featured Customer" and eligible for terrorist discounts and super savings on discontinued weaponry
A shocking and somehow never-before-mentioned revelation about John Kerry
Osama bin Laden captured while leading troops in Palestine
WMDs found in Iraq
John Edwards revealed to be demon, killed by Buffy on Election Day
Osama bin Laden captured while egging Tony Blair's house
Elections suspended due to emergency situation
Teresa Heinz Kerry permitted to speak in public the night before, with cameras present
"This Way to the Polls" signs posted to point offshore, thousands of Floridians drowned
Osama bin Laden captured during Anti-Bush protest 16 miles away from presidential appearance
All taxes cut, let's see Kerry talk around that!
STAR WARS-offshoot invention allows satellites to focus gentle, holy ray of sunlight on Bush during speaking engagements as subtle reminder of just Who favors whom
Terrorist attempt to delay elections
Voting machines rise up, begin shooting Democrats. Independents and third party voters left alive, as curiosities
Unemployment rates drop to lowest level in 21 years as workforce drops out of unemployment lines to just give up and die
Keeping with a winning strategy, the U.S. invades Iraq again
Kerry finally realizes what he'll be stuck with if he wins, quits race and ruins off screaming into the night
Bush declares "Anyone voting against us is voting for the terrorists" -- terrorists go on to win the popular vote but lose in electoral
Poll workers ordered to begin recounts now, to save time
Osama bin Laden captured while murdering babies in back office of Kerry campaign
Gas prices drop a nickel
What do you think? Place your bets now, we're in the home stretch!
[ October 03, 2004, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
I think he'll catch Sadaam Hussein.....Again.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Maybe just a commercial with Bush standing next to Saddam's cell, pointing at it and going, "Huh? Huh? Pretty cool, right?"
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
Showdown in Fallujah...
--j_k
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
<snicker>
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Whoops, that reminds me...
VP Dick Cheney speaks out the week before the election on the importance of allowing the states to decide their own stance on gay marriage even as his daughter announces her joyeous conversion, through therapy, Bible study, and methadone, to heterosexuality. Win-win.
[ October 04, 2004, 09:25 AM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
LOL. Ahhh, this thread is a tonic.
You forgot one:
Bush and Saddam square off to decide the issue like real men . . .
Hey! At least the networks would make a mint!
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
I'd like to see an Iron Chef showdown.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Mt St Helens will erupt big-time (not these puny puffs) and the Forest Service servers will be overloaded from all the people watching it, and Kerry will win the election because he campaigns for more money for the Forest Service Servers.
AJ
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:I'd like to see an Iron Chef showdown.
And today's special ingrediant is...
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Oil!
Or possibly ketchup.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
THis post was deleted because somehow I posted it to the incorrect thread. AJ
[ October 05, 2004, 01:10 AM: Message edited by: BannaOj ]
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
Scandal insues after it is revealed the Kerry campaign awarded no-bid contracts to Heinz Ketchup for fundraisers.
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
Why isn't there a link to a column?
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Well, it ain't Wednesday . . .
-o-
Mt. Saint Helens could only help Bush, as the Hurricanes in Florida have. A president can give aid and stuff; a candidate can only walk around looking solemn. How can Kerry compete?
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
quote:John Edwards revealed to be demon, killed by Buffy on Election Day
Edwards does have that Wolfram and Hart quality to him. And we all know that is Angel's territory, not Buffy's.
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
Personally, I believe that the best way to settle the election is have a nation-wide game of counter-strike, republicans vs. democrats... Which ever side ends out at the end, has their representative win...
But, I have a question, what if no one voted? absolutely no one. Would it be a tie and both win, causing them both to lead? There couldn't exactly be a re-count.
Out of the choices, I believe gas prices will drop a nickle.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Come on, no matter what happens, W.'s mommy and daddy will vote for him. Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I'd prefer to see a wrestlemania, Dems vs. Repubs.
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
In the still real possibility of a tie, it goes to the house, so no, both wouldn't lead, but it would cause a problem as to who would be able to be elected by the house since there isn't a top anything canidate since they all have no votes and there are more than three canidates that would reach a ballot somewhere.
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
Don't forget about Jeb.
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
Cheney: John, I am your father. Edwards: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Posted by Defenestraitor (Member # 6907) on :
Andy Kaufman announces his dark-horse candidacy and wins by a landslide.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Following orders from the Vice President's office, and siting evidence that must remain top-secret, John Kerry's appointed Secret Service Gaurd, now part of Homeland Security, arrest Senator Kerry as a "terrorists supporter" and lock him away until the "war on terror" is over.
Posted by delicate flower (Member # 6260) on :
A shocking new photo is released (probably by CBS): John Kerry with one arm slung companionably around Saddam Hussein, the other around Osama Bin Ladin, pictured kneeling in front of this happy group are Hitler and Darth Vader.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Impressive...
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
Most impressive.
Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :
John Kerry, John Edwards and the Governor of New Jersey all come out of the closet (the third one again I guess) and proclaim their love of each other and invite George and Dick to join in the first all male Polygamous Homosexual White House.
Then they will take turns being President 1 of the 5 days of the week and the others will be the "first men" and on Saturdays and Sundays they'll all dress up as "first ladies".
Hey....it could happen.
Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
quote:A shocking new photo is released (probably by CBS): John Kerry with one arm slung companionably around Saddam Hussein, the other around Osama Bin Ladin, pictured kneeling in front of this happy group are Hitler and Darth Vader.
No, that's the Fox News picture. CBS will release a picture of Bush with Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell sitting in the Oval Office with a Bible, a copy of the Constitution, and a gallon of White-Out.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
quote: I'd prefer to see a wrestlemania, Dems vs. Repubs.
With lots of oil... and jello
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
I swear I've clicked on this topic at least six times now. Your title has the word "surprise" in it...it keeps drawing me in.
I completely keep forgetting what this topic is about.
I'm serious!
I'll not fall for it again.
[ October 07, 2004, 06:46 AM: Message edited by: Tammy ]
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
((Tammy))
That's so cute!! Just want to eat you up! Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
*dabs gravy on her wrist*
Please change the title. It's just to tempting and definitely misleading.
Posted by Zemra (Member # 5706) on :
What does that mean?
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
I agree with Tammy...definitely the second time I've been in here.
*dorf*
Posted by Defenestraitor (Member # 6907) on :
It's not a made up name. That's what it's being referred to as, the "October Surprise". That's what the media calls it. The phrase goes back to the Reagan/Carter election of 1980.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
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