Yes, that's what school is, a garden in which young minds are groan. And since our President is so intent on the left behinds of children, I think we should make puns about education. Elizabeth asked for it, but I deduce that many people want it -- it's elementary.
Chalk one up for teachers!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am already bored of education threads.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think everyone should stick to their principals.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
That is exactly what my dear old Grammar says, Bob!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think someone needs a conjugate visit. I guess that sentence was too long. Run on, now. Maybe we need a plan to shorten it -- a lessen plan, perhaps?
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
My friend Tory used to raise clams, but she quit. She gave me the ones she didn;t sell, and I have one left. It is the Ex-clam o' Tory.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think." -Dorothy Parker (sorta education related...and a classic...do they still teach horticulture? I would hope they wouldn't leaf that behind...)
fil
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
I finally got one of those new hybrid cars. It gets good millage.
fil
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I had a childhood friend that loved to have iced tea with sugar. I would go over to play with him and his mother always made us take a break and drink some tea. Bobby, my friend, had to always sit in a specific chair. One time I went there and at tea time he threw a fit. He was being loud and obnoxious and rowdy. His unruly behaviour was due to having to sit in a different chair. His normal chair was being repaired and you know how children act up when faced with a substitute tea chair.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
That was tea rabble.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I love the story my wife tells of a young student by the name of Lin. Lin suffered from a hyperactivity disorder and Cheri (My wife)was constantly petitioning his parents to have him evaluated and perhaps medicated. His parents finally relented in their objections and took him to a specialist who supposedly did prescribe something. What makes this story interesting is that the prescription only intensified the young man's frenetic behaviour. Eventually his parents enrolled him in a special needs institution. My wife's comment was, "Thank God we're Ridda Lin."
[ October 10, 2004, 02:57 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Ah, derral like that in school these days. I have my brother Ed Plan whenever I need accomodations, even when Ma doesn't want me too. He tells her, "Ma, de vacations are necessary for her." He is so very Special, Ed is.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I cannot get one appliance in this home working.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hesitates*
. . . *posts anyway*
I know that your last post was by way of a joke, punwit, but I take issue with it on two counts.
One: no teacher has any business suggesting/requesting/demanding that any student be put on medication. Evaluation by a psychiatric professional is a perfectly reasonable suggestion (and in some circumstances, perhaps it even needs to be insisted upon); but let's leave the prescribing to those with M.D.s, neh?
Two: as both a teacher and a parent, I flinch at the notion that a teacher's primary/only response to a student being removed from her class is relief at their absence.
*shrug* I am very aware that I am over-sensitive in the extreme on this topic, and perhaps I am overreacting. If so, I apologize.
[ October 10, 2004, 12:51 AM: Message edited by: rivka ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Rivka, I should have included a disclaimer. I understand your feelings and can say unequivocally that my wife has never uttered such a statement.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Fair enough. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
[rerail]
When I was in college, I was a bit taken aback by the clothes -- or lack of same -- some of my fellow students came to class in. Clearly, many were hoping the professor graded on a curve.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, if he said he did, he was an out and outlier.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
There was a really annoying kid in my class who would always get to school very early to take the best seat by leaving a note on it. The problem was he used a tiny sheet of paper wo write the not, so no one could read the desk claimer's small print.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh golly, Dag! That guy was the husband of my friend Dot, Ed Line!
She got sick of him after a while, and got an Alternative Ed.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Are they related to Fizz?
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
My gardening friend came up with a brown corn which he named Corn L. He went to yale for that, since it was illegal to harvard tufts that appeared to be of the columbian version.
Posted by Trondheim (Member # 4990) on :
He was going to prince tons of the stuff, but wouldn’t you know, he just had to stan ford with his discovery. By dart mouth of word, the police found out. In the future, I believe he will canvassar his prospective clients less radcliffely.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I can never decide which kind of berry I like best. Strawberr, raspberry, or blueberry? I guess I will have to go with the Middlebury.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dag, Fizz was their cousin, I believe. He had a twin brother named Gym.
Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
Did you guys hear about the school built at the top of the really steep hill? Alot of kids never got in because they couldn't make the grade.
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
My doctor gave me some advice when I got ill recently. "Number 1," she said, "drink lots of fluids. Number 2, penicillin."
(weak, I know...if I have to explain it I shouldn't have posted it...but...)
fil
Posted by fil (Member # 5079) on :
Thankfully the doctor's advice worked. Now I am healthy enough to attend a party put on by a local car dealer, the Dodge Ball.
fil
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Hick and Hack, to farmer friends of mine, were sitting around discussin their freind Hank.
"I hear Hank went off an gots himself an edumacation at one of them Ivy schools." said Hack.
"Yep." says Hick.
"Why do they call dem Ivy schools?" asked Hick.
"Cause of all that fertilzer they be spewing helps der weeds grow. Dey can't keep it off-a da buildin's it is grow'n dat fast."
Hack spits out a bit of tobacca. "Reckon so. Heard Hank's even gett'n himself a degree in BS."
"Yep. Sent his ma a letter sayin he was gettin his BS in Political Science."
"Dem politicians is good with the BS--Bull #$@#$(Stuff--Edited cause this is a family audience). Is he com'n back home after?"
"Naw. He says-n he wants to get his MBA?"
"What's a MBA?" Another spit.
"Don't rightly know. I'm guessin it means Mighty Big At--doing the BS."
"Makes sense. Den is he com'n home?"
"Naw, he wants his ma to keep pay'n for classes, so he can get the grandaddy of all awards. The PHD."
"Well, shucks, I knows what PHD stands fer. BS, Piled High and Deep."
Hack thought a minute, then shook his head in agreement. "Dat's right."
"Well dang it Hack, with all that fresh fertilizer there, I guess that explains it."
"Explain's what Hick?"
"Explain's the name. Sure, for the church folks Hank say's he's a goin to Princetown Universatty, but I saw what was on der sticker on his pickup."
"What's that."
"Why a big old PU sign."
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Until you take religion in Catholic school you are nun the wiser.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
What kind of fun can you have at a Catholic School?
Nun.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
In Highschool I really enjoyed Pistachio's in the shells. Heck, I was voted "Most Likely to Suck Seeds".
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I was the person known most for my various email chatgroups. The award was for most IM proved.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The kids in the highest math group always controlled the playground equipment, mainly because they knew how to use the slide rules to their advantage.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Attend me!
These puns have no class.
When I was in school we had one track and field competition against an unknown opponent. It was the mystery meet.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The kids in the rocket club were always picked on worse than anyone - even the kindergartners would steal their launch money.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Dag, if that was an in-class project I'll thank you to treat it with a bit more gravity.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Chute, really? That was quite a strong reaction there, Bob.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Sorry, didn't mean to go off on you like that. Your pun really gave me a lift.
[ October 11, 2004, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Oh. I must have misinterpreted the thrust of your post.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I guess I just went ballistic and engaged in hyperbolic arguments. Just remember, to the vector go the spirals.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
We had two guys in our class that were considered for the graduation night speech. Val and Ian shared top grades. I wasn't enamored of Val. In fact many people didn't care for him. Everyone knew he would have a good shot at top honors so people referred to him as Val a dick. The school administrators had a tough call; Val a dick or Ian.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
In my high school one older student would dress up like he had just snuck across the Mexican border and try to sell crushed oak leaves to the new kids to smoke.
Picture the scene, with the older kid in the center of a group of conspiratorial new kids.
The bravest of the new ones would say, "Is it Freshman?"
"See, Senior." he would respond in a bad Mexican accent. "The hard stuff is fine, but the soft is better. Then again, the Sophmore money."
The kid would turn to his girlfriend, "Junior in for half, OK?"
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
So Dan, what happened next???!! I can't stand de tençion!
[ October 12, 2004, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I went to this institution where "school spirit" was mandatory. Which was odd because the buildings were all a bunch of canvas huts. When they told me "some assembly required," I knew I was in for an in tents learning experience.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I told my school counselor that I kept day dreaming I was a teepee or that I was a wigwam.
He said I was too tents.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Did you hear about the new school for future doctors and nurses? They were instantly admitted into the I.V. league.
<okay, I was going to go for the joke about the syllabus for the first day of class: I.V. covered, but I thought that was in the wrong vein.>
Posted by reparty (Member # 6884) on :
Recently, I went to a sushi bar. They had some stray Unagi on sale so I sat down and picked one out. A full meter long it was. A buddy of mine saw me across the room and yelled, "Hey, what gad you ate". I showed him my plate. "Wow", he exclaimed, "that was a metric eel you ate".
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
That reminds me of the famous pirate, Cap'n Gowan.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Do you know why they are called Graduated Cylinders? Because the ones that failed or dropped out no longer hold water.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I heard it differently. I heard that they lined the cylinders up along a cliff. Those that were called got to stay, those that did not were tossed off the cliff. The cliff became known as the Call Ledge.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I went to one of those ritzy schools for college-bound rich kids. It was a pain in the @ss. We called Preparation H.
Of course, they were really big on getting us into shape. I chose spheroid.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, Bob, you certainly have made the rounds. I am sorry your stay at school was so protractored. School should encompass so much more. You have learned to see things from every angle, nonetheless.
Posted by reparty (Member # 6884) on :
Hey, have you guys heard about the new treatment for athletes foot? They take some bone from your clavicle and embed it in your foot. They say a collar chip is the best thing for toe itchin.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did you hear about the student that won the Arkansas Junior High School State Science Fair? Apparently he would chew gum and Skoal together and discovered that this combination was as multi-purpose as duct tape for holding things together and plugging leaks and so forth. The young man received much praise for his Skoalastic achievement.
[ October 14, 2004, 07:26 AM: Message edited by: punwit ]
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
Did you hear about the Faber College student that's been a member of Delta Tau Chi for 40 years? Everyone says that John (Bluto) Blutarsky has been there forever. I'd say he's been there fraternity.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)