This is an old joke dealing with movie, book, game quotes. Really any quote that people know can be used. It is most commonly used with, and perhaps works best with Star Wars, but it can be applied to most any quoteable thing. Here's how it works. Take a quote, remove a key word or two and replace it with the word "pants", repeat the modified quote out of context. Laugh uncontrollably. I'll start us off
Star Wars: Your lack of pants disturbs me.
Pull up! All pants, pull up!
Don't worry... Chewie and me have gotten into pants more heavily guarded that than.
We've got to be able to get a reading on those pants! Up or down!
Use the pants Luke!
Han will have those pants down! We've got to give him more time!
That blast came from those pants... that things operational!
Luke... I am your PANTS!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
and I thought that hatrackers were more mature than normal teenagers...
I so miss lunch room discussions.
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
The Martian Chronicles (1980)
Maj. Jeff Spender : No? Us Earthmen have a talent for ruining pants. If there are any Martians alive in those pants, they're going to grow to hate us.
Battle Beyond the Stars
Yago : This is Akir, a planet of pants with a single green spot.
Flash Gordon
Kala : Open fire. All weapons. Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his pants. or Princess Aura : Look! Water is leaking from her ......(maybe I should leave pants out of this one.)
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely pants you in the morning." It was a fine time for me.
Pants of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist . . .
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own pants, or his enemy's?
We are men of action. Pants do not become us.
We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no pants, skill against skill alone.
Unless the enemy has studied his pants--which I have.
She's been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. It's my father's failing pants that's upsetting her.
I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pants. At present I'm writing the definitive work on the subject.
Don't bother me with trifles; after twenty years, at last, my father's pants will be at peace.
There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his pants.
THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS IS HERE FOR YOUR PANTS!
FEZZIK, tear his pants off.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Once on a Buffy forum, they played this game... Except the word was changed randomly by players, and they used Buffy quotes.
Just thought I'd share. I haven't had much to post anywhere lately.
-Katarain
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Aw baby, that's just we call pants talk.
Give me some pants, baby.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the pants.
Necrenemnocon ex morits, the Pants Of The Dead.
It's a trick. Get some pants.
Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with ... pants.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
There are times for maturity, and times when you throw it out the window and just have completely immature fun Posted by HonoreDB (Member # 1214) on :
There are times for pants, and there are times when you throw them out the window and have completely immature fun.
Bushisms:
"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally pantsed them. In other words, there's no pants—you can't—we're out of pants."—Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004
"But the true strength of America is found in the pants of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."—Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004
"See, pants are peaceful. Pants don't attack each other. Pants don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003
"[W]e've had leaks out of the administrative pants, had leaks out of the legislative pants, and out of the executive pants and the legislative pants, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."—Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003
Posted by Miro (Member # 1178) on :
Hobbes - I love that article. It's hilarious.
Posted by Grigori (Member # 6917) on :
I want you to pants me as hard as you can.
I haven't been pantsed liked that since grade school.
On a long enough timeline, the pants rate for everyone drops to zero.
The pants you own end up owning you.
So come on; pants me before I lose my nerve.
Pants with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
You have a kind of sick desperation in your pants.
After pantsing, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
I am Jack's complete lack of pants.
You met me at a very strange time in my pants.
You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the pants Lou.
Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, pressed against his pants, ready to cry. This was my vacation... and she ruined *everything*.
I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll pants me
And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all pants was freedom.
Bob had bitch pants
You said that if anyone ever interfers with project mayhem, even you, we gotta get his pants.
new pants built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The pants crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of pants in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
And lastly:
Tyler Durden : Now why would you want to put a gun to your pants? Narrator : Not my pants, Tyler. Our pants.
Posted by Brian_Berlin (Member # 6900) on :
Jaws: We're going to need bigger pants.
Deliverance: Sometimes you have to lose your pants before you find yourself.
Pulp Fiction: Sh*t yeah. I got my pants down man, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
Master and Commander: For England, for home, and for the pants!
Call me pants.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
Now that I've read all the jokes in this thread, my brain can no longer process the word "pants."
Posted by Turgan (Member # 6697) on :
Dr. Pants, I presume?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I'm more into literature.
"It was the best of pants. It was the worst of pants."
"To pants, or not to pants, that is the question."
"Pants, by any other name, would still smell as sweet."
"Call me Pants"
"A nation of the pants, by the pants and for the pants shall not perish from this earth."
"Once upon a time there were three pants, Momma Pants, Poppa Pants, and Baby Pants."
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
What do you want?
Are you kidding? I want pants.
*
There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my pants.
*
If people I don't even know look at me and want to pants me, it means I really have a shot at being a model.
*
Somebody should just put him out of his misery.
Do you want me to pants him?
Yeah, would you?
*
I don't think we can be friends anymore.
You're way too uptight about pants.
Just don't pants my dad, all right? Please?
Why not?
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Lucy in the pants with diamonds Twist pants shout! I wanna hold your pants The long and winding pants The pants of John and Yoko The minute you let her under your pants Maxwell's silver pants Let pants be
Posted by Toretha (Member # 2233) on :
heh, last year when we went to go see RotK I introduced Mayday to this game. We laughed through the whole movie. (we'd both seen it before, and the theatre was pretty empty) It's jolly good fun.
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
Back when I was a teenager a couple friends and I did this with song titles (mostly Metallica) and the word Badger. We were driving out to meet a couple friends who worked about 45 minutes away and we must have nearly got in an accident about 5 times we were laughing so hard. Lame I know, but a good memory nonetheless.
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
A Beautiful Mind -- Petrified, Mortified, Stupified, by pants.
Finding Forrester -- How about a 10,000 word essay on why you should stay the (censored) out of my pants!
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Ka-Pow!
"This is my boom-pants!"
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
"Pants are like a box of chocolates. You never know what your going to get."
Posted by DSH (Member # 741) on :
A good friend in high school introduced this game to me by having me pick a favorite love song and replace the word "love" with "lunch".
This works especially well with Air Supply's Greatest Hits. Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
Let's review the classics:
Moby Pants The House of Seven Pants Huckleberry Pants Pants Sawyer Little Pants Anne of Green Pants A Tale of Two Pants Pants Copperfield Oliver Pants Posted by Soara (Member # 6729) on :
waaaa!! my favorite game!!
"Give me liberty or give me pants!"
"There will come a day when the pants of men fail... But that is not these pants!"
"Sing, muses, of the pants of Achilles..."
Behold the Pirates of the Caribbean spawnmonkey game:
"Mr. Turner, you are not a sailor, you are not a military man, you are a spawnmonkey!"
"Say, isn't that the little island we made you spawnmonkey of on your last visit?"
"For example, you can accept the fact that your father was a spawnmonkey, or you cannot."
[ October 16, 2004, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: Soara ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:"This is my boom-pants!"
See, I didn't put that one in because I thought it wouldn't work. But it does. It really, really does.
Dagonee
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Scary ain't it Dag?
How about another gem from the Almighty Bruce:
"You mean he's some kinda Bubba Ho-Pants?"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
"There's no pants in baseball!"
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
"Are you panting?"
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Yeah. Luckily it landed on my pants.
We're going in there just like we said. Chlordane may have mechanical pants.
Chip : But we've got something he doesn't have. Gadget : Enough sense to get out of pants?
Gadget's gone too far this time, Chip. She's got these blinkin' pants facing the wrong way.
Professor Norton Nimnul: Haven't I told you never to play with my super-pants? You could devastate yourself.
Mainframe : Beach Head, I wanna talk to you about your pants Beachhead : What do you mean? I don't use pants! Mainframe : That's what I wanna talk to you about!
Cobra Commander : As of now, your little pants is deader than disco! Hmmm... Deader than disco... I like that... I would have made a great stand-up comedian.
Mighty Mouse : I can feel my pants getting lower by the minute!
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
*bump*
I just found one of my old notebooks full of pants jokes from last year. Some of them made me laugh so hard that i just had to post them.
Pirates of the Caribbean:
Why are the pants gone?
Stop blowing holes in my pants!
Pride of the Queens pants you are.
You have got to find yourself some pants mate.
Not without my pants!
Lord of the Rings:
Three hundred lives of men have I walked this earth and now I have no pants.
We cannot use them. Pants are entirely evil.
You can learn everything there is to know about pants in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you.
Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
You know, this probably reads entirely differently to American ears/eyes... American pants are British trousers, British pants are American underpants!
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
I'm quite aware of that, I'm american, but I've been to Scotland and boy did they have fun with that Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
He who must not be pants.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Wow amira, that DOES make a difference. And I'll have to remember that when I visit the British Isles.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Shakespearean pants:
Frailty thy name is pants!
To pants or not to pants?
Serve pants, love me, and mend.
Et tu, Pants?
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants!
But pants, what light through yonder window breaks?
Beware, the pants of March.
If pants be the food of love, sing on...
Though this be madness, yet there is pants in 't.
By the pricking of my pants, something wicked this way comes.
O happy pants! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die.
Off with his pants!
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with pants.
I have no other but a woman's pants.
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew pants?
(and of course)
Love looks not with the eyes but with the pants.
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
That's so true of love and seeing with the pants. I was just remarking on that very thing to my husband just the other day.
Planet of the Apes: Goddamn dirty pants!
Eve
Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
Of Dirty Harry:
Go ahead, punk. Make my pants.
Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
Chick movies with pants!
When Harry Met Sally
What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the pants always get in the way. That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there are no pants involved.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? No. You pretty much want to pants 'em too.
You've Got Mail
For me pants are just yet another way of being rejected by women.
The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What to pack for a trip? "Leave the gun, take the pants."
Do you know what, we are gonna seduce them. We're gonna seduce them with our square footage, and our discounts, and ourdeep armchairs, and... Our pants.
Mr. 152 Felony indictments? Mr. 152 insights into my pants! Oh yeah. No competing with that.
You can forgive this guy for standing you up, but you can't forgive me for this little thing... of putting you out of pants?
Pride and Prejudice
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of good pants, must be in want of a wife.
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to pants, in a moment.
The power of doing anything with pants is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance.
I have not the smallest objection to explaining them. You either chuse this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your pants appear to the greatest advantage in walking;—if the first, I should be completely in your way;—and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of pants. (this is coolest because it rhymes with the original!)
[ April 16, 2005, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: Susie Derkins ]
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I like replacing the word "love" in songs with "glove".
We did this for the entire "Elephant Love Medley" from Moulin Rouge and it was HILARIOUS.
Posted by Sartorius (Member # 7696) on :
I can't believe no one has said this: "The Enemy's pants are down."
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
This thread is one of many Pants threads. It has been said before, however it's always funny.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
quote:I can't believe no one has said this: "The Enemy's pants are down."
O_O
I never think of doing it for books, so I've never thought of that one.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
SHAKESPEARE'S TWELFTH NIGHT
"Some are born to pants, some achieve pants, and some have pants thrust upon them!"
***
GHOSTBUSTERS
"Are you pants?" "No." "Then . . . DIE!" "Ray! When someone asks you if you're pants, you say yes!"
"Someone blows their pants, and you want to keep it."
"He pantsed me." "That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?"
***
M*A*S*H
"Dear Billy; Don't take your love for your brother and turn it into hate. Hate causes pants, and pants is what killed your brother."
"I'd sooner share my pants with a Democrat."
***
AMADEUS
"Your work is ingenious. It's quality work. And there are simply too many pants, that's all."
"Forgive me, Majesty. I am a vulgar man. But I assure you, my pants are not."
"Looks don't concern me, Maestro. Only pants interests a woman of taste."
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
The Tao Te Ching, verse 43:
The gentlest pants in the world overcome the hardest pants in the world. That which has no pants enters where there are no pants. This shows the pants of non-action
Teaching without pants, performing without pants: that is the Master's way.
Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)