How would your favorite literary characters vote in the 2004 election?
Hermione Granger: John Kerry.
Hermione has the labor background (SPEW), minority credentials (mudblood), and a sense of ivory tower intellectualism we Democrats love so much. ("Hermione, ARE you a witch or AREN'T you?")
Lord Vordemort: John Kerry.
Lord Vordemort is a big fan of Bush's proposed constituional ban against gay marriages. Today gays, tomorrow mudloods! However, the Dark Lord is an even bigger fan of stem cell research. With further research, he-who-must-not-be-named hopes to beat out that pesky disease called mortality.
Harry Potter: George Bush.
Both lived in their father's shadow, both have a healthy disregard for the rules, both were mercilessly ridiculed by the press, both warned of the coming of the dark lord, and both have tendencies to speak in parseltongue.
[ November 01, 2004, 04:46 AM: Message edited by: vwiggin ]
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Errr...they're all British citizens, aren't they? Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
*hits Shigosei with a well-placed jelly legs jinx*
I love how your response isn't "but they're not real" but rather "they're not American!" Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
I have a bigger problem with the age thing...Harry and Hermione are nowhere near the voting age requirement. They can't even legally drive yet!
As for Voldemort, wasn't he legally dead for about 10 years? I imagine that's a lot of government paperwork just so he could get his bank account open to him, let alone voting.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Hey, lots of dead people vote, just ask the Democrats. Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Based upon your assumption of Harry Potters vote, would Longbottom vote for Nader?
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Ron would vote for Kerry.
I mean, come on. That big family, here's to betting he's Catholic. Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Ron would obviously vote Nadar.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
heehee. This just made my day.
*goes off to study American democracy*
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
I knew there was a reason I didn't really like harry. Now who would hagrid vote for, and dumbledore?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Dumbledore: Dick Cheney
Have you noticed how these two are always in an "undisclosed location" when trouble strikes? Like Cheney, Dumbledore mentors teenagers and acts as the real power behind the government. While Cheney is proud of his lesbian daughter, Dumbledore is somewhat ambivalent regarding his brother Aberforth.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I don't know - Hermione is willing to expand the definition of "persons" entitled to protection of the law. Sounds like she'd be anti-embryonic-stem cell research, too.
Dagonee
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
"Based upon your assumption of Harry Potters vote, would Longbottom vote for Nader?"
That tree-hugging pansy is definitely a Naderite. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
And of course all of the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army were in favor of preemptive action in the face of disapproval from "higher" authority. Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Well, the Order did make up that story about a WMD in the enchanted forest.... so yes, I think you're right Dag.
Hagrid: Kerry
A victim of Hogwart's underfunded "no child left behind" program, Hagrid should go Democratic.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
And Fudge did send an "inspector" to Hogwarts whose real goal was to cover up the danger of Voldemort.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Curse you and your knowledge of Potter trivia. Just promise me you'll use that power for good instead of evil.
Rita Skeeter: Kerry
A big supporter of animal rights. I think she gave Dan Rather her quick quotes quill.
Posted by JaimeBenlevy (Member # 6222) on :
The Dursleys would definetly vote Republican.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
Mad Eye Moody: Kerry-- They're both veterans.
[ November 01, 2004, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
And Trelawney is defintely a Kerry supporter.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Well, you do need a crystal ball to unfog Kerry's speeches... and they're both doomsayers.
[ November 01, 2004, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: vwiggin ]
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
No, no Trelawny would vote for some obscure third party whose candidates consult horoscopes.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
The Griffendore common room was in an uproar because Victor Krum wrote Hermione to try to convince her to support Kerry.
Durn foreigners messing with elections!
Dagonee
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Plus, there's big tension about the proposed elf-rights amendment.
Seems a lot of people are OK with giving Elves the rights of citizenship, but only if it's called "civil membership."
Dagonee
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Fudge would vote for Bush. Something tells me he'd be against Homomagisexual Marriage. I find him willing to overlook the mistakes in Iraq as a natural order of things.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
You know I bet you could look at this thread and figure out who is voting for who just by seeing which characters they have vote for which person.
If they have the characters people generally like vote for candidate A, and the characters people don't generally like vote for B then they are probably for A and vica versa. Won't hold completely true but there is a trend Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Fudge will vote kerry because both of them are douche bags.
There, happy?
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Oh and:
Sauron would definately go Bush, look how much they have in common!
Galadriel, Elrond, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam and Legolas would go Kerry. They are all for peace and for the enviroment.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
No way. They all planned to invade another country before that country attacked anyone.
Definitely Bush supporters.
Dagonee
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
I don't know. Sam and Frodo might just be AntiBush, if ya know what I mean.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
They didn't plan to invade it, just to sneak in and destory its one weapon of mass destruction. The invation came later as a last ditch effort. And they only went after the WMD was proven to exist... it fell in their lap, Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Galadriel decided to give the Valar the finger, much like Bush on Iraq.
Edit: Like Bush did to the UN.
[ November 01, 2004, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: Anti-Chris ]
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Yes but she was a major major supporter of the environment and conservation. Just look what she did for Lothlorien! The complete oposite of "drill in national parks and nature preserves" Bush.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
No, she was mostly just for keeping her realm beautiful and clean. As far as she cared, if it was in somebody else's yard, they could go hang.
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
quote: I mean, come on. That big family, here's to betting he's Catholic.
ah, but with the big family...they are most likely be strict Catholics, leading them to go with the Christian right and vote Bush
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
She also bought the Fellowship gifts to aid them in their quest to destroy Sauron, and invade middle earth. Bush.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote: I don't know. Sam and Frodo might just be AntiBush, if ya know what I mean.
But since I don't, they aren't, right?
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
Achilles: Kerry
He would want the USA to have a weak leader, so that he could take over. Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
I would assume that he would want a leader thats too distracted to attack the real enemies with actual weapons.
Posted by FriendlyNeighborhoodWitch (Member # 6317) on :
Alice, from Alice in Wonderland, would vote Bush. She has an affinity for made-up words, or seems to, anyhow.
Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Then count in Dr. Seuss, too/
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
LUCIOUS MALFOY BUSH
The rich and powerful need to be more rich and more powerful.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
quote:I don't know. Sam and Frodo might just be AntiBush, if ya know what I mean.
I think Sam is in denial though. I mean, he did get married and all. He strikes me as one of those Gay Republicans.
quote:Alice, from Alice in Wonderland, would vote Bush. She has an affinity for made-up words, or seems to, anyhow.
Bush's tax policy does have a Mad Hatter quality to it. Economy good? Cut taxes. Economy bad? Cut taxes. Up is down. Goodbye I must be staying. (God I loved that Doonesbury strip).
Aragorn: Bush
"Open war is upon you whether you risk it or not."
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: Sauron would definately go Bush, look how much they have in common!
Alcon, you're not helping your case here any, when you claim that the statements in this thread reflect peoples' true feelings about the election candidates! Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
I would think that if Sauron was a foreigner, he'd prefer Kerry. Bilateral talks as opposed to forceful action.
Due to last elections problems, one must assume that Merry and Pippen would live in Florida, and remain undecided until a candidate proposes a food plan. Bilbo would vote Kerry. Rosie would vote for Bush, if only to assure that Sam is hers. Grima Wormtongue, a smooth talker from the North, would vote Kerry. Gollum, who is ever the 3rd party, could vote for Nader. However, since he is a fan of Riddles, he just might be swung towards Bush. The Nazgul, 9 men who live together after being corrupted by rings, would vote Kerry. Saruman would vote Bush, if only because he prefers to outwit those in power. Legolas and Gimli would so vote Kerry.
Darth Vader doesn't care about politicians. Whoever is elected will serve the Empire, or be crushed. He is however leaning to Bush's space program to go to Mars. Planetary conquest is one of his ambitions. Jar Jar Binx would vote for Bush because "He speaka meesa language!" Luke Skywalker would vote Bush, on the impatient, take control of the situation attackness. Obi-wan, who has a problem of living in the past, would vote for Bush Senior. Yoda and Bush would just confuse the hell out of each other. Yoda also is a strong advocate that fear is the path to the dark side- fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Not liking the current situation, he would vote for Kerry. Princess Leia would vote for Bush, as would Han Solo after being threatened that he wouldn't be getting any if he didn't. Boba-Fett would vote for Kerry. Jabba the Hutt would vote for Bush, due to his ties to the Saudi-Arabian family.
Peter Pan would vote for Kerry. He never was a fan of Bush's "No Child Left Behind."
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
You mean multi-lateral talks as opposed to both bi-lateral talks and multi-lateral talks ?
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
"Peter Pan would vote for Kerry. He never was a fan of Bush's 'No Child Left Behind.'"
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Just promise me you'll use that power for good instead of evil. ![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
"Peter Pan would vote for Kerry. He never was a fan of Bush's 'No Child Left Behind.'"