Hatrack River Forum: Imagine

This is topic Imagine in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Mercy12 (Member # 6999) on :

Imagine you had thought you’d found the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and imagine that person hurt you beyond anything you ever thought could happen. Then imagine that that person was walking around as if nothing ever happened and that everything was ok, even though every day you were dying inside and everyday they were hurting you more and more and all they would have to do is something so simple, but something they were unwilling to do. What would you do…

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

1.) Make sure the person knew what it was they were doing that hurt me.

2.) Talk to them and make it clear what they need to do to stop the hurting.

3.) Sadly walk away if they were unwilling to provide it. [Frown]

Dagonee

Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :

Hmmm maybe you can be more specific of what situation you are talking about? Is this allegorical or something you personally are experiencing in an emotional relationship.

Posted by Traveler (Member # 3615) on :

What Dagonee said.

Communication is the key to solving most relationship problems.

Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :

[Hat]

Dag is wise, Mercy. Listen to him.

Communication is everything

Posted by Mercy12 (Member # 6999) on :

Unfortunately this person is unable or unwilling to communicate with me - only with other people. I have made it clear the hurt it is causing. There are other circumstances on why I haven't left yet, there is a child involved.

Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :

If he's unwilling to communicate with you, the relationship is over.

A child being involved makes things much more difficult, but it doesn't change the end result when one party is unwilling to work on the relationship. You have to find a way to accept the fact it's over and move on. Hard to do, but it's the only thing that can stop the hurting. Counseling can help, as can a sympathetic friend.

Dagonee

P.S., By the way, I'm inferring from your second post that his not communicating is what's doing the hurting. If he's doing something else that merely leaving won't stop (abuse, embezzlement, etc.), you need to take more forceful steps.

Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :

I'd vote for Dag, too. Here and in the broader sense.

Posted by CStroman (Member # 6872) on :

Dag said it better that I could.