George W. Bush won the popular and electoral vote.
So I now must quit smoking cigarettes for one year.
Almost through Day One.
Most of the day, it wasn't too hard, but as soon as I got off work, I became instantly sad.
Oh yes, 40 days of chemical war, me and the pot holes of nicotine that will yearn to be filled, and drilled.
People keep telling me to avoid cold turkey, "get the patch" "get the gum".
Nope.
Cold Eagle.
That is how it is going to be.
Maybe I'll get weak and cave.
Crush to dust to a craving.
...but when the cravings come, I know that it is not really the nicotine I'm craving.
Maybe I should just drink myself to sleep tonight.
Yeah. That's a good idea. Beer.
Somedays, death looks easy, and I mean that in a very Norse way.
Word to your Mothers!
I still love You!
I'm crazy.
and some days it hurts real bad
think i'll drink myself to sleep tonight
or maybe i'll just listen to interpols "PDA"
both.
i chose both
pray for me
always
[ November 13, 2004, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: The Silverblue Sun ]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Good luck quitting smoking. You'll be glad you did, eventually.
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Good luck and don't give in.
It's one of the few times when quitter and loser aren't synonomous.
Posted by Jutsa Notha Name (Member # 4485) on :
You sound like a good person, even when I disagree with you. I wish you luck. Take care of yourself.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I wish you the best of luck.
Even when you bug the snot out of me. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Thor, I'm glad you're quitting. I'm going to officially consider that the silver lining of the way the election went.
Posted by newfoundlogic (Member # 3907) on :
Wow, good news for everyone. Conservatives get the Prez they want and Thor loses a major health risk.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Good luck, Thor. I am trying to break an addiction myself ATM.
Posted by Bean Counter (Member # 6001) on :
28 days is supposed to be long enough to break a habit for good. But a week should see you chemically dried out.
Good luck, I have a MT Dew addiction I am working on, cheating with Diet Mt Dew
BC
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
good luck!
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
(((((Thor))))) You can do this. You come off as really strong in your posts, you can handle this! Good luck.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Day Two: Today I don't like people I don't like.
Yeah.
I try to like everybody, and never hate anybody.
...today was a bad day, even if you're not trying to quit smoking.
For those of you who don't know I make a piddly seven dollars and hour working for a large chain bookstore. People are by far the Worst part of the job.
Example, once or twice a day we have people who take playboys or penthouses into the bathrooms, probably to masturbate, and then throw them in the trash.
Today was one of those days, That happened, then I caught a REGULAR customer (A guy that I had been nice to over the year I'd worked there) not once but TWICE stealing DVD boxed sets, more theives, then a bunch of rude people.
I don't like thieves or liars.
People you can't trust give me the willies.
These people are the reason I enjoy smoking.
Sometimes it feels good to quicken life.
Say bye bye..
Don't have the strength to find the strength to continue to live in this world of angry traffic and total alien isolation as a Billion people join me in the room.
I'm gonna make it.
Sure.
But People make it hard.
All of it.
This way ain't the best way.
Gotta find a better way.
Thanks to those who love me, thanks to those ho pray for me, and thanks to you, grace.
oh the light in life
363 more days to go.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Hey man, sorry you're having a bad day. Some are like that, unfortunately. Thing's get better though.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thor, it takes fewer than 100 times saying no to the urge for a cigarette to quit. The urges come frequently the first few days, then taper off over the next weeks. 100 times is all it takes. They come very rarely after a few months. Those are hardest to resist, though, because you thought you had it beat and it comes back and blindsides you. But after a couple of years they pretty much stop completely. You are stronger than a chemical addiction. Your brain is lying to you when it tells you nicotine is a good thing. Nicotine is trying to kill you while pretending to be your friend. Don't believe the lies. The will is strong. Exercise your will. Best of luck!
[ November 05, 2004, 12:12 AM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by Danzig avoiding landmarks (Member # 6792) on :
Thor, the physical dependency is gone in three days, although the urges will continue for some time. If you get one, see if you can last fifteen minutes. Usually, it will be gone by then.
BC, there is no reason to switch to Diet Mountain Dew to break a caffeine addiction. You need to switch to caffeine-free Mountain Dew.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
You are so strange! I think that's why I like you so much!
((((Thor))))
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
Good luck!
Posted by Bean Counter (Member # 6001) on :
It is the carbs, every time I quit I lose ten pounds, every time I restart, ten pounds in three weeks.
My body just loves to use the dew for its sugar needs. I can run six miles a day and never lose a pound if I drink that 20 ounce bottle! Sigh...
My mom kicked the smoking habit, my dad went on to blood clots and the loss of his foot. I hope you kick. I gave up dipping in college, and for a while I craved it like Gullom craved the One Ring. Precious ohh my precious....
BC
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
Thor,
I just want to say good luck and thanks for all the poetry. I may not always understand your posts but I love the way they are written anyway.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
Yo!
quote:Thor,
I just want to say good luck and thanks for all the poetry. I may not always understand your posts but I love the way they are written anyway.
Mega thanks Y'all!
Seriously.
The love and support is helpful.
Quiting smoking is a hell of a thing. Really. It is. It's like riding a thin raft out on an ocean of interpersonal chemical and emotional waves.
To think that anyone, ever, likes or gets a good glow from my poetry makes me very on a good rug by the side of the fire content.
Poetry is such a personal thing.
It's the soul speaking, the natural voice flowing, a body tuning into itself to be Closer to Life, Love and more questions or Life, Love, and
more questions
answers
Norse Mythology the poet is 2nd only to the King.
Born a poet, it would be un prosperous and rude to my own family to be a failure.
Poetry can be good magic of the mind.
Oh! but the pain that usually follow the poet!
<<<DAY FOUR>>>
Me 1, Cigarettes 0
<<<T>>>
Yeah i'm poor, but but i'm a poet with an above average use of the pencil.
PROOF Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
I've thought about Jesus and the Great Spirit of Christ much of my time on Earth.
Love God and Be Good to your brother, and your mother, and your father, and your cousins and their aunts and their pappas new born babies.
2 hours and 20 minutes til it's been 1 week since I knew Bush won and I had my last cigarette.
Oh people. People. People.
The same dudes that threatened me a while ago with a gun robbed me and my bookstore again today.
People. People. People.
Judge me?
I am a superhero.
I treat you well.
I am honest.
I am empathetic.
I am kind.
I am creative.
I am a good friend and a good man.
This world is crazy, and if anyone would like to say that I am a bad man for ANY reason, I say that man should say those reasons aloud.
If I act as a Saint as I drink wine, smoke herb or be sober, am I not a Saint?
<T>
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Well, whilst you are pondering these things and not inhaling an incredibly dangerous chemical into your lungs, I will tell you that I'm very proud of you and I'm convinced you have the self-control and power to continue. It just comes down to choice.
Whether or not contrived by a bet, you chose wisely.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Long live Thor!
I'm trying to quit too. I've already cheated and bought a pack... you know.. weening and all. yah... Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
You rock, Thor.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*agrees*
I really admire you. For so many things!
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
oh man day 11
did i tell you some where around day 6 I got real indian winter sick?
thought I was gonna die
either coughing, sneezing, sniffing or sleeping.
felt like my brain was inflamed gonna burst out of my skull
hurt bad was real sick like the flu and getting over the biggest nicotine hump that comes along physically
whoo
what a family disease.
Rule!
and did I mention the thieves and would be murderers who won't stop coming to the store?
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Thor,
Good on your mum, to make this bet with you! I admire you for keeping your honor so far.
As for your question about being a Saint:
Sainthood is never easy. One must continually hold oneself in the light, questioning and seeking, reflecting on what is worth keeping and what must be burned away. That has always been the path to becoming a clear vessel for the Light to shine through.
And it is never over. Sainthood is mostly, I think, a process of Becoming.
Love and faith from a fellow Saint....
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
my eyes are broken, my brain has melted, my teeth are on fire.
Oh, I'm belted.
2 weeks.
No Cigarettes.
Yeah.
341 days to go.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
A stranger I am to you. But I support you nonetheless. A day after a day after a day, and then a life goes by.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
What day is today?
Ok. Nov, 2nd 2004.
Last cigarette about an hour or so after midnight. about 10 min before I knew in my gut Ohio was going to Bush, and with Ohio the election and the outcome of the bet.
Nicotine. Cigarettes.
Did you know about 1 in 4 american adults smoke?
The poorer people are the more likely they are to smoke.
Grandma H was a Nurse who spent her life as a nurse, dedicated her life to helping people, died of lung cancer after smoking the majority of her life.
Dad. He smokes.
17 days without a cigrette.
I told you, around day 6 my entire body started to breakdown, I got the sniffles, the coughs, the sneezing, the draining the swelling, the ear ache, and then once all that ended I got the TOOTH ACHE.
What do you know, time for a root canal.
Thanksgiving less than a week away.
Haven't spoken to my Mom since before the election, she's mad because at the age of 32 I'm still a man in financial ruins, $11,000 a year don't cut the mustard for a responsible man in her eyes.
Hey, I work full-time in a bookstore.
Is it my fault society won't pay me a living wage for a good days work?
$7.25 doesn't go too far or for very long.
This is a weird world you have for me.
very, very-very strange.
may the force be with you
always
T
Posted by Tater (Member # 7035) on :
Ahhh, smoking. I have a shirt that has a no smoking symbol, and below it, it says "There are cooler ways to die." Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Glad you're still keeping with it Thor.
Hey, are you still doing screenplay writing?
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
congrats on the continued fight...good luck keeping with it!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Way to go, Thor! Keep on! You can do it! If your own strength is insufficient, draw on that infinite source. It's wonderful training for the will. The will is strong. Don't ever let them convince you that the will is weak. The will is the most powerful force in existence.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
quote: The poorer people are the more likely they are to smoke.
That's true. The poor also pay way more for most everything. Rent-to-own furniture and electronics cost so much more, for instance. Payday loans have really high interest rates. Check cashing services for those without bank accounts are very expensive. The junker used car lots who sell to people with bad credit and then reposess if unpaid, to sell again, make way higher margins than those who sell to sell once. Why is this true? Doesn't this tend to make poverty hard to shake free of?
These are all legitimate businesses, and the transactions are agreed to by all parties up front, but something still seems wrong to me about this. Does anyone feel moral compunctions about bilking the poor? Is it any different than, say, a doctor making a living by taking money from those unfortunate enough to be sick?
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
Keep up the good work, Thor, and stay off the smoking!
A friend of mine, a nurse who has smoked for years, was just diagnosed with lung cancer. She hasn't gotten her prognosis from the doctor yet, but she saw the X-rays, and she's getting her affairs in order. Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Good job Thor.
Don't worry... I'm 27 and in the same boat with my money... and I'm not quite as strong because I cheated and have been sneaking ciggies on the side. Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
You know, I'm 26, and I make good money per hour, but I've chosen to only work 2 days a week and barely scrape by. But I've got plenty of free time to enjoy being poor. Working at a crime riddled bookstore is probably still more fulfilling than working at a corporate job. It would be nice if minimum wage actually matched minimum need to live, but hey, what are you going to do?
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Best of luck!![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
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