The rules: You have to either one-up the previous statement or one-down it. Either assert your superiority over the previous poster, or show how you're more of a hard-luck case than they are. Try to leave room for further one-upping or one-downing on your statement. Don't just take it to the extreme right away.
In your post, say "Up" if you're one-upping, and say "Down" if you're one-downing.
Try to use actual circumstances and events in your life, but feel free to embellish on them as needed.
For example:
Original statement: I work in the tallest building in downtown Provo.
One-up:
(Up) Oh yeah? I work in a 60-story skyscraper in Chicago!
or
One-down:
(Down) Luxury! I work in the basement of a fast food restaurant.
So...here's the first statement to kick it off:
I just bought me a little Nissan pickup. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I just picked up a little Nissan. Ow.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Well, at least you picked it up. I dropped mine right on my big toe.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(Down) Luxury. I have a hernia.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
EDIT: Darn you.
[ November 12, 2004, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: Teshi ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(up) I have four big toes.
EDIT: darn both of you
[ November 12, 2004, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: kaioshin00 ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(Down) I have two left feet.
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
(down)
I'm missing my left foot.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
(up)
I not only have both feet, I have both hands, and not only can I dance, I can type 80wpm.
(edit: not accurately, though)
[ November 12, 2004, 04:52 PM: Message edited by: jeniwren ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(Up)
Oh yeah? I can type 90 wpm while accurately dancing.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(up)
OH you think that's talent? I have a bird that can eat 92 worms per minute.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
(down)
I'm only capable of flipping the bird. And I can't type when I'm doing it.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(Up)
I can flip two birds while driving in traffic.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
(up) I can kill you and your two birds with one stone.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(up) Oh yeah? My stitches in time save 18.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
(down)
I got hit with mph's stone and got 32 stitches. It didn't kill me, though.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(neutral)
I saw mph's stone go by at 32 mph, and not killing jeniwren.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(down) I passed a stone. Ow.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
(up)
Oh yeah? I passed a guy on the freeway who was going slower than a stone. In fact, I didn't know that something immobile could go any slower, but he accomplished it.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
(up)
I passed a stone going so slow it was going backwards.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Dag, I'm trying to figure out if that's actually one-upping.
edit: Oh, I thought you were talking about a kidney stone.
[ November 12, 2004, 07:54 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
That's nothing. I saw a stone moving so slowly that not even an irresistable force was able to speed it up.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
I AM an irresistible force.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Oh yeah..well I'm an irrestible torque!
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
(down)
I'm not irresistable at all.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
(down) I'm so not-irresistible that I can't get the accountant in the office to like like me.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I'm as resistable as an accountant -- I'm an engineer.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
(up) Well I have no resistance at all. I'm a conductor!
[ November 13, 2004, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
<grooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan>
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
(up)
Is that so? I'm a superconductor. Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(up)
And I'm a SUPERCONDUCTOR Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
<down>
I'm somewhat magnetic.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
(down)
I can't even conduct electricity when electrocuted.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
(up)
I'm somewhat cute.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
(down)
I'm only cute on every third Wednesday.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
(up)
My instructor, the range owner, and a unformed officer complimented my marksmanship.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
(up)
That so? Well, I managed to score 95% in marksmanship. 19 out of 20 shots hit the target dead on with a fully automatic rifle.
[ November 14, 2004, 09:05 PM: Message edited by: Alcon ]
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Alcon, that's great. What were you shooting? I shoot a Springfield 5 in. Tactical XD 9mm that I love.
(up)
I wore my Chanel ballet flats to the range.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
[OFF TOPIC] It was in Counter Strike An M4A1 point blank range on the map de_dust2 in the hallways by bomb site B. There was no way I could miss and I only got one of em before they got me.
(down)
I've only gone to the range a few times at boyscout camp in RL.
[ November 14, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Alcon ]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(up)
I ate a girl scout cookie. Mint flavor.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
(up)
I've eaten entire boxes of mint flavored girlscout cookies in one sitting before.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(down)
We can't get Girl Scout Cookies in the entire country. Probably not even in the entire continent, and ours is the biggest continent in the world.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
(up)
Well, at least you don't have to worry about them being kosher . . .
. . . oh wait, they are.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(up) Yeah, but you don't have to worry about them being Halal.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
[confused side comment] I thought (with the exception of wine and related substances) kosher was stricter than Halal? So I had been told, anyway. [/confused side comment]
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
[confused side comment] I don't really know. I only really have to worry about it if a. I want to share with hubby or b. I want to kiss him on the mouth immediately afterwards. [/confused side comment]
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
(up)
I once made three confused comments. Which is how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. If you're an owl. Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(down)
But I'm not an owl. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I'm not even fowl.
[OFF TOPIC: Mrs. M, who shoots a Springfield 5 in. Tactical XD 9mm that she loves, is now one of my favorite people. mmmm9mm.]
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(up)
We're having curried fowl (aka chicken) for din din tonight.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
[up]
I'm drinking contrast solution. So there!
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
(down)
I cannot drink anything, because my throat has swollen shut. Come to think of it, I can't breathe, either.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(up)
I sometimes hold my breath for as long as 3 minutes and 51 seconds. However, I'm usually asleep at the time.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
(down) I can hold my breath through a medium-sized tunnel.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
(down)
I completely blew my French practice test. And two of Andrew's students are my classmates.
[OFF TOPIC: Thanks, mac! It's a fantastic pistol - I vastly prefer it to the Glock 9.]
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[/confused side comment]
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