This is topic New column: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Baby Boomer in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Baby Boomer

Pull up an ice block and lend an ear, children. It's time to acquaint you with the tale of Rudolph, for the 40th time.

I think, by now, we all recall the most famous reindeer of all. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" first debuted on CBS in 1964 and it has been an annual favorite ever since. It's certainly one of my favorites, far superior to most of the holiday-themed shows produced since for one very important reason.

It's not sappy. In fact it rings very true to life in many ways, once you get past the pointy ears.

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Many thanks to Dagonee for suggesting better legal language and for letting me steal a word. Kids! Can you guess which one it was?
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
@ Chris.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
"rhinobioluminescence"?

Excellent column.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Ding ding ding ding ding! Katherina wins an all-expense-paid trip to the North Pole, or whatever portion of it is still holding up against arctic melting. Please have your bags packed and wait beside your chimney with care, your ride will be along presently. Weather permitting.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

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And, most importantly, never, ever discriminate against someone with a physical deformity if there's the chance they can do something really cool with it that you can then exploit for your own needs.

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Stories of hazing and cruelty are way more entertaining when read by Burl Ives.

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*Everything* sounds better when read by Burl Ives.

Conversely, everything sounds terrible when read by Harvey Fierestein.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
That is so good. Like, amazingly unforgotteably good.

Chris, you knocked this one out of the park.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Great column. Now I have to see it again to look at it in a whole new light...
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
Oh, I see you now...holding a red-nosed reindeer yourself as a reading lamp are you...

I'm calling the ACLU.

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Today Rudolph and Hermey would simply file a class action lawsuit on behalf of all employees of Kringle Consolidated forced to endure a hostile workplace environment due to occupational preference, alternate recreational lifestyle, rhinobioluminescence, and lack of comprehensive denta

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Chris, this is the single funniest line you have written to date....and that is saying a lot.

Kwea
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Thanks! Would it ruin your opinion of me if I said that this line, almost word for word, was in the e-mail Dagonee sent back to me after reading my first draft (and used by permission)?

I did change his "Santa Consolidated Industries" to "Kringle Consolidated" for the sound of it, although I did toy with "KringleCorp." And I added in the dental coverage, although he did ask about that as well.

See what happens when you e-mail me? You get absorbed into my world... I should mention, for liability purposes, that Dagonee bears no responsibility for any of the rest of it.

[ December 01, 2004, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
 

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Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
 


I just e-mailed it to my husband. Great job, Chris!

space opera
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Ah, my weekly dose of Chris Bridges. What would I do without it?

Thanks!!!


 

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