This is topic Santa goes for a copter ride in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
As many of you know, and the rest will soon learn, at this time of year I earn my holiday money playing Santa Claus.

(Not a bobble head Santa)

This year I was requested to preside over the holiday brunch at one of the swankier local Country Clubs. Its the fifth year that I've had the honor.

NOBODY SAID NOTHIN ABOUT A @#$@#@#%#$#@ HELICOPTER!!!!!

Ok.

Years ago I told my booking agent that I'd arrive in a helicopter. They cheapened--er--chickened out. A golf cart was good enough for Santa.

Weather always seemed to be wrong or too risky for this silly idea.

No one even mentioned it this year until I got there and was already dressed.

They drove me down to the far far end of the
golf course and this helicopter arrives and they say,Santa, get in the helicopter and we'll fly you in.

Now I would have been ok with that.

It would have been fun.

But you would think they would have gone for a real helicopter. You know--something with room for at least 1 full size adult person?

But no... They brought up this little bitty thing. I swear my lawnmower had a bigger motor...

I mean my small push mower...

The one without an engine.

I mean, if the freakin gerbil on his exercise wheel would have stopped for a kibble break, the thing would have fallen right then.

But they tell me to get into it, and the show must go on.

I squeeeeeeeezzzze into this small thing and then they have the nerve to try and squeeze the pilot in next to me.

Did I mention I was dressed as Santa Claus--you know--with all that extra stuffing?

Now I know why they call the front part of the
helicopter the bubble. I felt that one large inhale on my part, and the thing would have popped.

I sneezed once and I think I down shifted the helicopter into low.

Helicopter and Low are two words you don't want together until its time to land.

He had to wait for the wind to be just right to get us enough lift to take off.

We managed to clear the trees and most of the electric lines. I looked down longingly at the golf course receding below. The only thing that I kept thinking was "boy, will they have a heck of a divot to replace when this thing smacks into the green."

Luckily we didn't run out of gas before we reached
our landing zone. Of course the @$R@#$@ manager told the pilot to fly around some and make a grand entrance.

All I can say is that Santa's face was very
Christmassy---all Red and GREEN.

Once we landed the show went very well. At the end the manager said thanks, and he was looking forward to next year.

He is thinking of Parachutes.

I NEED A STUNT SANTA!!!!

[ December 13, 2004, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
COOL!
 

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Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
I'm sorry, Dan, but I'm giggling hysterically over this one. Did anyone have a videocamera running to capture this?
 

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Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 
I am trying to feel bad for you but my reaction is the same as mackillian's...



Flying Santa is a very cool idea.
 

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Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
 

quote:

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We managed to clear the trees and most of the electric lines.

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!
 

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Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
 
*sings*

Here comes Raven Claus, here come's Raven Claus, in a small chopper!
 

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Posted by jehovoid (Member # 2014) on :
 
They should've just made you skydive down and been like, "Oops, kids, Santa's been drinking again and fell out the sleigh! Ho ho ho!"
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
When I was growing up, a guy used to fly a gyrocopter, like this one around the lake behind our house. I used to always think it was so cool and I really, really wanted one.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Yo ho ho, Merry Christmas!
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 


Dan, you're my hero.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Fabulous. I'm so jealous.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Woah! Sasha gets to have the real Santa in his house at Christmas! Lucky!
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I used to go to the Montrose Christmas Parade every year, and Santa always flew over in a chopper and yelled "Merry Christmas" over a bullhorn. Of course, he got to ride in either the Sheriff's Dept. chopper, or the Search and Rescue copter, so I have a sneaking suspicion he may not have come all the way from the North Pole...
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
This evening I had three 300lb women sitting on Santa's lap.

I also had two very lovely young ladies who braved major cleavage despite the sub-freezing temperatures outside.

While this may inspire some people to think, "Its good to be the Santa." I must point out that their Pro-Football-Linebacker-Sized husbands were also present, as was my wife.

I NEED A STUNT SANTA
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 

quote:

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This evening I had three 300lb women sitting on Santa's lap.

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