Real effeminate guy that just started working at my place of employ. Only been there about two days. He's been giving me the glad eye since he first layed eyes on me and I've been trying my best to put out vibes that say 'I'm not gay, but your gayness doesn't freak me out.' Apparently I need to work on my vibes, because he asked me if I wanted to 'hang out sometime'. In a manner that left little to the imagination.
Now, back in the day when I was svelte, fit Storm Saxon, I used to be hit on by guys all the time. Why? I don't know. For the same reason that white girls over the age of 20 think I'm icky, but fat, black chicks and tween girls think I'm really something. In any case, this guy coming on to me came as a bit of shock because a) I'm pretty fat these days and b) he's freaking nasty. Nasty as in, the guy has a bunch of that tooth butter between his teeth that one gets when one doesn't brush their teeth.
So, I find this all a bit depressing and a general indication of the overall suckiness of my life, as it seems the only people who are romantically inclined towards me any more are nasty gay men.
The only bright spot in all of this is that I actually managed to think of a reply that was appropriate and polite, rather than cringe and say "Hell. no." or "Are you high?". No, I said,"Sorry, I lead a really busy life. No time." And threw all my weight into vibes that said I'M NOT GAY! SHOO! And kind of waked away in a daze.
Now I have to work around the guy for Bob knows how long. I'm pretty sure he's going to start being a jerk soon, since this seems to be the way people behave after they've been shot down to show that they really aren't interested in you, after all. That, or worse, he'll continue to be nice and just continue to make cow eyes at me every time I look in his direction to see if he's still making cow eyes at me. Blech.
I'm sure this will all peter out to nothing in the next month or so, but until then, things are going to be a bit uncomfortable at work.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
After reading that, all I can say is... tooth butter? Of all the visuals I didn't need.
And "Bob knows"? There are still SubGenii out there? I thought they went the way of the gnostics (or possibly gnastycs).
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Just be thankful you didn't have to look at it. Blech.
And, you know, it actually irritates me that this guy would make a pass at me and not even think enough to try and look his best. What do I look like? Desperate or something?!?
I've been saying 'Bob', off and on, for a fun way to say God for a while now.
Also, as a bit of clarification, I am pretty open to being approached by any woman of any race over the age of 20, as long as she is reasonably attractive, etc., not just white girls. I'm pretty tired right now. So, plesae excuse that little faux pas.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
*patpat*
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
*patpat*
Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
It'll be okay. Can you try to gee-golly-whiz it?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Poor Stormy. That does kind of bite.
Hmm...
My art teacher has made a couple of little comments like "if you were any closer to that painting you'd be tongueing it" that were a little wierd, but I have chosen to decide she's just eccentric. The first day I had to extricate myself from a ten-minute rhapsody about the sunset in order to go home. The references to how pretty I am seem to come out of nowhere. I'm really not sure how to handle it, but it doesn't seem like anything I actually need to handle.
I've taken to talking about Gorgeous Guys and religion a little bit, and theoretically that should work. Right?
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Well, since you don't have a photo posted on Foobonic, so I have no idea what you look like -- I'm clueless as to why guys hit on you and girls don't.
But it sounds like you have it all figured out, as far as how to handle it.
But if he keeps at it -- be sure to post all the details here for our amusement.
FG
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Too bad it wasn't Friday and you weren't Jewish, the whole "I need to get home before the sun sets" routine would work then.
AJ
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Just think of me as that one guy.
Posted by Foust (Member # 3043) on :
Bit of a derailing coming up here.
I usually get to the gym about 6:30 am. Things are pretty empty.
The lockers are day use only; you just grab one and throw your stuff in there.
So why do guys choose the locker right next to mine? We don't have to stand naked together. We just don't. So why does this happen?
It's one of those guy rules, isn't it? Like not taking the urinal right beside one in use?
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Don't delete posts. It makes my joke not funny.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: Too bad it wasn't Friday and you weren't Jewish, the whole "I need to get home before the sun sets" routine would work then.
I can be Jewish. "Sorry, dude, but penis isn't kosher or, you know, I might. Guess I'll have to stick with women. Tough break, eh?"
Foust, I'm right with you on that one. But, why use the locker room? I just show up in what I work out in and leave in what I work out in. A little sweat ain't gonna kill my car. I just use the lockers to lock my valuables in.
Kat, you would think. Of course, women getting naked together is a beautiful thing and why deny yourself those little life expanding moments you can tell your grandkids about?
Kama, *innocent look*. Pardon?
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Poor Stormy.
*pat, pat*
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
This happened to me at school about two months ago. Luckily, I haven't seen the guy since.
I don't tend to get hit on by guys a lot, or if I do, I have been too oblivious/naïve to notice.
Storm, it occurs to me that the brush-off you gave this guy is the same one you keep using on me . . . O_O
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
The only time I was ever hit on and realied what was happening was by a really short African dude in France. And he was... um.... rather blatant. (caused me to cycle a certain shirt right out of my wardrobe)
I'm pretty happy being oblivious to those types of things.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Storm...being attractive to gay men is really a compliement.
Sadly, you may have gone from "twink" to "bear" in between the previous times and this most recent event. So...expect a different group of gay men to be attracted.
You could put this on your resume in certain parts of the country.
Storm Saxon Education:xxx Experience:xxx Memberships:xxx Other Features: attractive to gay men
Go get 'em tiger. rrrrrrowwwwwwwwwrrrrr
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I was hit on by a chick once, and it was very blatant. Well, not just once, but by just one chick. It happened several times. She would say things like, "You know, when you're running your hair flows out behind you and you look like Pegasus." I might have just thought she was a little weird except she kept reminding me that she was bi. The problem was that I thought she was nice and I liked her, but she could never seem to get the hint that I was straight and taken, so I had to stop hanging out with her.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
quote:You know, when you're running your hair flows out behind you and you look like Pegasus
That is totally funny.
ha ha ha!
That is totally funny.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
What do you say to something like that?
Nothing, that's what.
You run faster.
Edit: I'm sorry, but girls are held to at LEAST as high a standard of pick-up lines as guys. I'm not cutting her a break just because she's bi.
[ December 17, 2004, 10:03 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
My mouth says no, no, no; but my eyes say yes, yes, yes, Mr. Icarus. Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Bob, I could probably put it on an application at Disney. O_O
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
PSI, you are so hilarious! Remind me never to drink anything while reading your posts. You were cracking me up on the bra thread today too!
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Actually, I think it's a rather charming pick-up line. Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
A good friend of man used to hit on me all the time when he was drunk. There was one memorable occasion where we were sitting next to each other an a porch with a group of friends and he reached over and put his hand on my inner thigh. I offered some lame, "I have to go to the bathroom" excuse and ran, feeling a sudden and overwhelming empathy for women everywhere. I believe I was the only straight guy in that theatre group (the stereotypes were true!); it was a long couple of weeks in some ways. And, of course, I was also suffering from a complete derth of interested women. When it rains it pours.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: I believe I was the only straight guy in that theatre group (the stereotypes were true!)
Oh yeah, they are. (often)
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
A writer's group I'm in was just blabbing about halloween costumes or something, and I posted a link to mac's pic of me in the Arwen dress.
And this femme whose writing I really enjoy said something like, "My, aren't you fetching !"
I thought it was a sweet compliment. I mean, she and this oter woman had just been talking about how hot some actor was, so I didn't think anything of it.
Then she got a bit friendlier, and posted this story about meeting Tom Jones, and how she used the pick-up line he had used on her on some cutie in a lesbian bar. O_O
But it is cyberspace after all, and I HAD made it clear I was attached. Then, quite natuarlly as a part of the group I disagreed with something she said in one of the discussion topics, and she went unnaturally ballistic.
Happens I guess.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
Awwww.. Stormy... *pat*pat*
Sucks getting hit on by trolls? Yes... *shudder* It does...
I'm still cute and get hit on them all the time too... *blah*
*hugs for Stormy in that gay but ok way*
quote: And threw all my weight into vibes that said I'M NOT GAY! SHOO! And kind of waked away in a daze.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
Someday, I'm going to figure out why so many of us straight folks get so freaked out when gay folks express an interest. Not that I'm making a value judgement on Storm Saxon's particular experience - being hit on by trolls is never nice.
It's just that I have been hit on by women before, sometimes quite blatantly, and it just doesn't seem to be that traumatic an experience to me. All I do is say something along the lines of, "Thanks, but I'm really not interested." Sometimes, if they aren't trollish, even something like, "Gosh, I'm flattered, but I'm straight." It seems to work.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I hate getting hit on by anyone I am not attracted to. It is kind of like saying I hate it when I get carded, though. Neither ever happens anymore.
Posted by raventh1 (Member # 3750) on :
I don't get hit on. Thank heavens for that. (maybe)
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Hey, Annie, I think Hobbes might be hitting on you.
Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :
Hey, Kama. How come I never see you in chat anymore? And what are you doing up at this hour?
*Is hitting on Kama*
[ December 18, 2004, 08:03 PM: Message edited by: Tristan ]
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
lma,
I guess my post wasn't clear. It's not that I got hit on by a guy. That's happened quite often. It's that I got hit on by this nasty, bottom of the barrel specimen that irks me, basically in a place where I least expected it, after I had made it as clear as nonverbally possible that I wasn't interested in him. I mean, the guy didn't even try and chat me up for chrissake.
Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
I've been hit on by another woman before. It was back when I was working in the Sears childrens' department.
Yes, I was hit on by a mother.
She had her 4 year old daughter holding her hand as she asked me what I was doing later on that evening.
Talk about shocking.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
quote:I guess my post wasn't clear. It's not that I got hit on by a guy. That's happened quite often. It's that I got hit on by this nasty, bottom of the barrel specimen that irks me, basically in a place where I least expected it, after I had made it as clear as nonverbally possible that I wasn't interested in him. I mean, the guy didn't even try and chat me up for chrissake.
Oops, sorry. I didn't get that you had already made it clear before he did the hitting on. That's definitely not nice. My bad. You were probably completely clear, and I just didn't read clearly enough.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
Tristan, I was watching Fellowship of the Ring
Hey, you're so close, why don't you come spend Christmas with me? None of the stupid Americans seem to want to.
[ December 19, 2004, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: Kama ]
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
quote:She had her 4 year old daughter holding her hand as she asked me what I was doing later on that evening.
Talk about shocking
Maybe she needed a babysitter?
Posted by Tristan (Member # 1670) on :
Silly woman. Didn't she know that people with children don't have a right to a social life? I hope you put her straight, Ms Orchid.
Spending Christmas with you would be great, Kama. Unfortunately, my family is expecting me home for Christmas, which, since I don't have any money, is the kind of offer I won't refuse.
Maybe next year. And I still want to see you in chat.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I think it could be more like, "Oh no, she's exposing her child to her inappropriate way of life..." or something. Though I agree it would be surreal to be being hit on by someone who was older than you, had a kid, was of a gender you're not exactly attracted to, and also, their kid was THERE. It's just a tad bit skeezy, ya know?
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
I have a friend who's straight and lives with two gay guys, so there are always gay dudes over there, and whenever my friend tries to throw a part but is utterly inept at inviting people, it's usually packed with gays having a few drinks before they go downtown. So I've been hit on by gay guys quite a bit before.
The worst was at my friend's birthday party (one of the worst ones ever). As I was walking up to the keg this one guy gave me the eye and said, "Can I fill you up?" If my brain had sound effects you would've either heard a record being horrifically scratched or the squeal of tires braking followed by lound crashes and an explosion. I just stayed dead silent, walked over to the keg, and mumbled something like, "Muhhhhbuhh-no, I think uh I can take care of myself."
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I never realize I'm being hit on, by either sex, until about five minutes later.
"Wait, did I just get hit on?" gets said by me a lot.
Then I get all embarassed.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
If Eve hadn't realized how clueless I am about getting hit on, she'd have thought I wasn't interested and I'd still be single.
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
quote: If Eve hadn't realized how clueless I am about getting hit on, she'd have thought I wasn't interested and I'd still be single.
They should make shirts that say "are you hitting on me?"
lol. My sister always tells me that I am clueless when we go out...she will say "you do realize that girl was hitting on you?" and of course I had no clue.
Posted by IvyGirl (Member # 6252) on :
Thankfully, I am not hit on. Definately not by chicks and if I am by guys, I don't notice, although I think maybe FG would argue with me on that. It could be because of my age though. Teenage guys don't talk to me really, which I find rather funny, but I suddenly feel lucky I'm not hit on by chicks!
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Don't delete posts. It makes my joke not funny.
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Remind me never to drink anything while reading your posts. You were cracking me up on the bra thread today too!
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I didn't get that you had already made it clear before he did the hitting on. That's definitely not nice. My bad. You were probably completely clear, and I just didn't read clearly enough.