This is topic The way things should be in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
I am so tired of people getting these things wrong. I will post them here so people can learn the correct way to do things.

The butter: it stays on the counter so it is soft

The toilet paper: it goes on the roller so the paper comes from UNDERNEATH

Cream in the coffee: After you heat the cup, you put the cream in, then the coffee.

Order of putting on clothes: Underwear, bra(if worn- or "bro"), socks, shirt, pants, shoes.

Edit: I am only pretend upset about these things...)

[ December 31, 2004, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Um, sure. Okay.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 


I see you didn't mention toothpaste....
 

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Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
 
Um, no, no, no and no.

[ December 31, 2004, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Kama ]
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
How could you be so wrong about EVERYTHING?

Butter: In the refrigerator, so it can be hard for those who want it. Put it on hot bread, and it melts. Simple.

Toilet paper: Should come out the top. Those who let it come out of the bottom are probably heathen Red Sox fans.

Coffee: If you must drink the stuff, it goes sweetener, then coffee, then cream.

Clothes: Underwear, shirt, pants, socks, shoes.
 

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Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
Yes, I'm dying to know. What is the Right Path with regards to toothpaste?

Edit : See, Dag, I am aware of my ignorance on some points of doctrine, and seek to remedy it. So there.

[ December 31, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: King of Men ]
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
toothpaste: Squeezed carefully from the bottom, with none left on the cap or the tip of the tube. Very important.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Beverly:
Turn water on. Wet the toothbrush. Water off. Toothpaste on. Wet toothbrush again with gentle stream of water. Tern water off. Brush.

(Duh.)
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Dagonee and Kama: the cold butter tears the crap out of bread, whether it is hot or cold.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
So it's your buttering technique that's faulty: you lack patience.

[ December 31, 2004, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Patience? If I am patient, i have cold toast, Dag.

My husband is CONSTANTLY putting the butter in the fridge. It is a silent war we have waged on each other for almost twenty years, and HE was the born and bred Red Sox fan.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
I am entertained by this thread. Just so you know.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Red Sox fandom has no effect on butter behavior. Only toilet paper orientation.
 

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Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
 
The trick is to get very thin "slices" of butter on your knife so that no matter what the temperature is, it will spread nicely.
 

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Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
 
I like my butter so hard I can bite it.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
IF I am forced to butter my toast with cold butter, the obvious strategy is to scrape it off the top of the stick.

I am appalled that I am getting so much disagreement here, Does no one do things correctly.

And, Dag. Shirt before socks? I dont even KNOW you.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

quote:

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am appalled that I am getting so much disagreement here, Does no one do things correctly.

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Well, not capitalization or punctuation, that’s for sure.
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
You put actual butter on your bread? Ick. I like to get organic butter and mix it with an equal amount of veggie oil in the blender. Let it chill in the fridge and you have margerine without all the chemicals, hormones, and antibiotics.

Chet, of course, likes margerine in the tub. The things I put up with for him.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Elizabeth, I hate to spoil something that's given you so much pleasure for all these years, but why not cut the stick of butter in half, and put half on the counter and half in the fridge? Wouldn't that work? That way everyone gets to have their own preference.

Oh, and peanut butter belongs in the fridge. It's just so much better that way.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
Ooo, the solution to Elizabeth's butter-woes!

And, peanut butter in the fridge? O_o

BTW, peanut butter spread on hot toast so it gets all melty is sohohohoho good.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Tatiana, he would put my half in the fridge, too. And peanut butter ShOULD go in the fridge, but tastes better warm.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Sigh.
Beverly, you have to put butter on first, then peanut butter when making peanut butter toast.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
Now, that's just rude.
 

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Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
 

quote:

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BTW, peanut butter spread on hot toast so it gets all melty is sohohohoho good.

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I second that whole heartedly. The only reason I ever toast bagels is so that the peanut butter gets all melty.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
My Mom always insisted on putting peanut butter on both sides of the bread so the jam wouldn't get the bread mushy. She first did one side butter, but eeewuk! So she did the double-pb instead. I don't mind my bread a bit mushy with jam or honey. Mmmmmm.

Why butter with the peanut butter? Aside from being gross, why the extra work? What can you possibly get out of it?
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Toilet paper, when you bother to put it on the roll should have the flap on the bottom, facing the inside, not on the outside.
When it's on the outside small children can make toilet paper go all over the place which is NOT CUTE.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
OK, you have opened a whole other can o' worms.

The pre-buttering of peanut butter bread gives a salty, buttery, liquid base to the peanut butter, adding a deeper level of taste.

Peanut butter on a bagel? Egads!

And don't even get me started on how to make a pb and j sandwich!!

Peanut butter on one side, spread evenly. Jelly on the other side, spread evenly. Both pieces placed together.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Open faced.
Pb and j sandwiches should be open faced with a thin layer of creamy or crunchy peanut butter. Jam is perferable, easier to spread.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
As for toilet paper, whoever will put the new roll on the spool can put it on however they like. And anyone who doesn't like how it is can reverse it. Whoever cares the most will therefore eventually wear the other one down. But telling someone else to do it your way isn't cool.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Oh, and when making ritz cracker and peanut butter sandwiches, the salty side goes out.
 

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Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
 

quote:

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Let it chill in the fridge and you have margerine

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quote:

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Turn water on. Wet the toothbrush. Water off. Toothpaste on. Wet toothbrush again with gentle stream of water. Tern water off. Brush.

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quote:

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But if I could get some women to demonstrate to me, with live visual aids, the benefits and drawbacks of each method, I would be happy to weigh them and make a final pronouncement.

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
The butter: it stays on the counter so it is soft

Yes!!!

The toilet paper: it goes on the roller so the paper comes from UNDERNEATH

No,no OVER!!!

Cream in the coffee: After you heat the cup, you put the cream in, then the coffee.

STEAM the cream, and slowly pour into the coffee. Try to make a pattern, a la the current cover of National Geo.

Order of putting on clothes: Underwear, bra(if worn- or "bro"), socks, shirt, pants, shoes.

No, bra, shirt, undies, pants, socks.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Good lord, DPR.

I dress in the way that is best if someone burst in on me. I would be best protected this way. If worse came to worse, I would want to be in my undies, breasts flapping. Your way, bra followed by shirt, you are completly exposed underneath! The horror!

So...
Undies first to cover the "area."
Bra to cover the breasts. This way, again worst coming to worst, "the parts" are covered.
 

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 


I've had three kids, with everyone in my family present, plus video of the last one. Nothing down there anyone in my family hasn't seen.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
I notice many of Elizabeth's preferred ways to do things are because of inadequate food-handling skills. Maybe you could work on that?
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 


I do agree with you on the clothes thing. Definitely cover the bottom first.

Butter HAS to go on the counter.

I can't stand toilet paper coming from underneath. In the dark, you search for it and if it's still stuck to the roll, you're rolling the toilet paper in the WRONG DIRECTION in order to find where it begins. It's a lot easier if it's coming from up top.

I always make toothpaste goals, but I never keep them. My toothpaste is always squeezed right in the middle.
 

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
My toothpaste usually has a big hole in the middle where one of my kids has bitten it.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
DPR,
It is sort of a "What if" kind of thing. I am not really afraid anyone will come in, it is just sort of a natural cover-up tendency, I guess.
 

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Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
 
Dressing--a basic guide for college males:
First:
Change the underwear on a 24-hour basis. 36 or even 48 may be okay in extreme circumstances (like sickness, lack of clean clothes, or lazy weekends).
Second:
Put on a shirt at least as clean as the underwear, for similar reasons above.
Third:
Put on pants. Clean pants are always preffered, but in aformentioned extreme circumstances most any pair will do. Make sure there aren't any food stains on the lap or salt stains on the cuffs--The objective is to maintain the appearance of being a civilized human being. Stains are a dead givaway of savagery.
Fourth:
Don any peripherals. Socks, shoes, sweatshirt, deoderant, glasses, etc...

I personally forego socks 9 times out of 10. If I could figure out how to grow more hair on my ankles to keep them warm, I'd never wear socks. Putting them on before pants... that's just silly!

EDIT: Coffee should be sugar-free. People who smother their coffee in sugar or other sweeteners secretly hate coffee and just want the caffine. Addicts.

[ December 31, 2004, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: WheatPuppet ]
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
WP,
Your pants-before-socks philosophy is so wrong, as is everyone else's. The socks go on first, thereby setting the stage for an easy pants pull-up. When the pants go on first, you have to pull up the legs to ajust the socks. With the socks already on, the pants can be applied from either a standing or sitting position.
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
o_0

Elizabeth...I don't think that the population of the rest of the world is WRONG while you are right on this matter.

Have you stopped to consider that your very reasons for putting your panties on first - covering vital areas just in case someone bursts in on you - might be the very reason that all of us put our PANTS on BEFORE our socks? Hmmmmm?
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
There's no use trying to correct her aberrant dressing behavior when her toilet paper orientation is so wrong.

It's like worrying making sure the windows are closed when there's a hole in the side of your house.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 


I love the phrase "toilet paper orientation."

[ December 31, 2004, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: Narnia ]
 

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Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
 
Butter: has to be on the counter or on a shelf

Order of clothes: Panties, bra, pants, shirt, socks, shoes. I do not always follow this exact order, but the first step and the last two are always the same.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Sigh.
Sometimes, there is a mix of reasons one has an an obsessive ritual, Narnia.
 

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Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
 
The issue with always putting on socks (as they are a contingent step for the always-critical pants) is that many times socks aren't neccessary or even desireable. For instance, on a very hot day socks are a problem. On saturday morning, when I'm loath to leave my dorm room, socks are completely redundant, since my room is warm and soft enough for comfortable sockless lounging. Also, requring socks before pants leads to the spectre of a socks-with-sandals situation.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
WP,
I happened to go to college in Vermont, where, i believe, you attend school. The sock-and-Birk look is very fashionable, still, even after twenty years have lapsed.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Is there no end to your depravity, woman?
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Meh. Toilet paper replacement used to be a game... put the new roll on top of the old spindle and see if visiting mother or visiting boyfriend would replace it first.

I have butter in a dish on the counter, for spreading on things, and butter in the fridge, for baking, as tart and pie crusts turn out better with cold butter.
 

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Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
 

quote:

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WP,
I happened to go to college in Vermont, where, i believe, you attend school. The sock-and-Birk look is very fashionable, still, even after twenty years have lapsed.

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Yes, socks with sandals is not unheard-of, except wearing socks and sandles together will get you called either a granola-eating socialist or a Vuhmontah, depending on who you ask.
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
Oooh Eljay, that's terrible! About the toilet paper I mean. How can you leave the bathroom without it being safely on the spindle?! Doesn't that keep you up at night?
 

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Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
 
Work pants with knee highs have to be socks first becuase the legs won't pull up high enough to get the hose all the way on.

If I'm wearing jeans, I'm usually wandering barefoot around the house. I'll put socks on if I go somewhere.
 

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Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
 
Toilet paper- inside the tiny cupboard shaped like an outhouse by the toilet, with the loose end against the back wall. Otherwise, in the morning all the toilet paper is in a messy pile below the holder and must be rerolled, then cringed at when using because it had cat germs and bite holes on it. Once she even got the end through the little moon-shaped window in the cupboard door and dispensed it into the living room. We tried a coffee can with a lid like we use at camp, but she just rolled the can around the house then.
 

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Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
 
Toilet paper- inside the tiny cupboard shaped like an outhouse by the toilet, with the loose end against the back wall. Otherwise, in the morning all the toilet paper is in a messy pile below the holder and must be rerolled, then cringed at when using because it had cat germs and bite holes on it. Once she even got the end through the little moon-shaped window in the cupboard door and dispensed it into the living room. We tried a coffee can with a lid like we use at camp, but she just rolled the can around the house then.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
DH,
The thing about the sock-n-Birk thing is that, int the winter, inside, it is the perfect footwear. Warm, comfortable, and orthopedically supportive. I ask you, what harm is ther in that? And if you are called a granola-eater or a Vermonter, so what? you are among granola eaters and Vermonters. It is the dominant culture you are a part of now.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 

quote:

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Doesn't that keep you up at night?

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Nope. There is no paper on the spindle right now, as a matter of fact. It bothers me not one whit.

The only reason the game stopped is because I was foolish enough to tell the other participants that they were playing it. They didn't find it nearly as amusing as I did. Of course, that particular boyfriend is long gone, too, but the game ended prior to the relationship.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Ah, but did the relationship end because of the game?
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
No, but that's funny.

It ended because while opposites may attract, they also irritate the snot out of each other.
 

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Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
 
Unless you have a child or pet that is prone to play with the toilet paper, It should definitely go over NOT under.

Whether the butter goes in the fridge or in the cupboard depends on how quickly you use it and for what purposes and what season it is. Butter will keep longer in the fridge so if you don't use it often, keep it in the fridge. I you use it mostly for cooking, backing and on hot dishes -- keep it in the fridge. If you spread a lot on room temperature bread, then its OK to keep a small amount outside the fridge in cool weather. In the summer, the butter will get far too soft and its frankly very wasteful to cool the entire house down to 65°F just to keep the butter firm when you could put the butter in the fridge and wear shorts.

If it makes a difference to you whether people put on their socks, pants or shirt first -- you are probably some sort of nazi.

Shoes shouldn't be put on until you are ready to leave the house. Only uncivilized brutes were their outdoor footwear in the house.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
"If it makes a difference to you whether people put on their socks, pants or shirt first -- you are probably some sort of nazi."

Oh, really? Well, maybe when I was in fifth grade, and we had a physical in school, and the nurse told us to go in the little room and strip down to our undies and put on the johnnie, maybe, just maybe, I had forgotten to out on my undies that day. And maybe the nurse said, loud enough for the rest of the class(boys too) to hear: "What's the matter, you don't have your panties? Just wear your tights."

[ December 31, 2004, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
The butter: Keep in fridge. When preparing toast, set stick on top of toaster oven or next to pop-up toaster so the butter softens slightly as the bread turns a lovely golden brown. Butter toast. Return butter to fridge.
Or, if you're my wife, place think slices of butter on bread and then stick in toaster oven so that melting butter permeates bread as it toastifies.
Cold butter may only be spread on bread if it is sufficiently thick and/or sturdy enough to withstand it, such as fresh-out-of-the-oven wheat bread sliced approximately to the thickness of a Harry Potter book and consumed as a meal unto itself.

The toilet paper: Depends on the location of the toilet paper holder, the style of the holder, and the preferences of the users. Since we currently have three adults and a child using one bathroom, rolls never last long enough to make it on the roll anyway.

Cream in the coffee: Coffee is evil. People should drink tea, which is best prepared pre-sweetened, in a tall glass full of ice. Free refills are mandatory.

Order of putting on clothes: Pants first, as this is always jeans and therefore matches everything. Then you may decide on a shirt at your leisure, grab a pair of socks, walk downstairs and don socks and shoes while reading e-mail and Hatrack posts on such self-evident things as proper order.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Chris, no undies, or do you put them n over your pants?
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

quote:

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Pants first, as this is always jeans and therefore matches everything. Then you may decide on a shirt at your leisure, grab a pair of socks, walk downstairs and don socks and shoes while reading e-mail and Hatrack posts on such self-evident things as proper order.

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*notes the missing item of clothing*



Edit: Darn - beaten to the punch by Liz.

[ December 31, 2004, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
I listed my order carefully.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Addendum to clothes order: If shorts or light slacks are worn, underwear first. Else, see above.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
And with jeans, no less.

Nothing with a zipper goes directly next to my skin.

Especially that particular piece of skin.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Shall we call him Commando Chris?
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
And yet my butter suggestions go unheralded. I knew it, you people are only interested in one thing.
 

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 
Hey, socks and sandals are the most comfy combo, especially if they are fleecy socks. Especially a funky patterned fleece sock with Birkies.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
In these parts bare feet is the most comfortable and the most often worn in this house, unless housekeeping has slipped to the point where protective footwear is advised.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
My parents just moved to Florida, and apparantly they get scorpions in the house. Tiny ones that hurt less than a bee sting.

But still...no bare feet for me when I go visit them. And I'm still wearing my Tevas whenever possible here in cold Virginia.

[ December 31, 2004, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
 

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Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
 
Butter: Fridge. Always the fridge. Especially if you happen to be living in an Australian summer where the temperature regularly tops 100 degrees. You can always get it out a little ahead of buttering to allow some softening time. (or, if you're my father, nuke it for 10 seconds, so that the outside turns liquid and the solids and fats separate, and my mother rolls her eyes, sighs and makes that frustrated clicking sound with her tongue against the roof of her mouth...)

toilet paper: My goodness Eljay...I thought I'd invented that game... I have no preference for over / under. Just don't buy paper with cute little pictures of teddy bears or that kind of stuff printed on it. I mean really - think about what you're going to do to that poor bear/fish/bunny/whatever...

coffee:Nectar of the Gods. Get a decent espresso machine and learn to use it. Tony's perfect flat white: Filtered water always, heat your milk on the steamer. Keep the milk moving while you extract your shot of espresso into a warmed espresso cup. Add sugar to your (also pre-warmed) coffee cup, then the espresso - poured in one steady movement so as not to destroy the crema, then add your milk holding back the foam until the end. Stir a pattern into the lovely thick crema that should form from the espresso shot and the milk foam. If making for Imogen, add a shot of good quality vanilla syrup. Sip and wait for that sweet, sweet caffene to hit the bloodstream... ahhh....

Dressing:

1. Ensure fully awake. This is more important and less self explanatory than it might first sound. Trust me.

2. Glasses. Clear vision is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

3. Underwear. it's Kind of like insurance - essential cover just in case something goes wrong...

4. Pants.

5. Shirt.

6. Socks (if wearing - left first, always.)

7. Shoes. (Right first. Don't ask me why, I have no idea...)

Hope that clears things up

[ December 31, 2004, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Scythrop ]
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Scythrops,
Aside from your horrendous butter philosophy and your order of dressing, you are OK. Since I do not have an espresso machine, I cannot follow that plan, but it would be the only condition where I would advocate for a coffee first move.

You know, you are right on, so to speak, when you say the left sock goes on first. I totally forgot to mention that! I can see undies-pants being sort of a guy thing, for some reason. Not sure why. Maybe because then I could see my hub's sexy chest longer? Yeah, I like that theory.
 

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Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
 
How do you put your glasses on before your shirt? That is, unless it's a button-up. Glasses are the first thing on if worn, but they come off while the shirt goes on.
 

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Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
 
No, you put your face through the neckhole first. That way you don't have to take them back off. Silly.
 

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Posted by MidnightBlue (Member # 6146) on :
 
It still does odd things to my glasses. The frames are really thin, and they get bent really easily. They slide off my nose constantly whenever I wear them as it is, no matter how often I bring them in to be readjusted. Besides, if I stick my face through first, it stretches out the neck holes of my shirts.
 

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Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
 
I work from home and tend to favour casual, loose neck (ie: *real* old and comfy) T-shirts. Combined with the face first method mentioned above, they generally slip on over the glasses no problems...

I should also point out that the real crimes against butter committed by my family are mainly my father's - he once popped the butter in the microwave just for "a couple of seconds", but mis-hit the timer button, then forgot about it, and ten or so minutes later discovered about half a pound of molten, oily butter oozing out under the microwave door. Now that's a deplorable butter offence.
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
I haven't worn socks since winter or spring of 2003. Haven't worn nylons in at least a decade.

Butter. Fridge. Too hot here - if left outside, it would be melted into a puddle. Besides which, we don't go through enough butter to warrant leaving it outside even if it wasn't this hot.

Toothpaste. From the end, but that's because the tube is metal, and squeezing from the middle makes it very difficult to get the stuff at the end out. Thick metal. It actual gets metal fatique and splits open.
 

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Posted by Sharpie (Member # 482) on :
 
I think it’s appropriate to use my 200th post for this important topic. Look, toilet paper rolls were a fine invention and all, but honestly, I prefer: one, if we must use toilet paper in roll form, that we not use the spindle. Either way we position it, the cats will shred it. Two, the times the household has run out of the rolled stuff, I’ve been thrilled with the convenience and efficiency of the pop-up tissue box. Just take a few if you only need a few. The box sits neatly, wherever we put it. It doesn’t roll if you drop it (which often necessitates an embarrassing crouching waddle to go get it from next to the bathtub).

[ January 01, 2005, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Sharpie ]
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
You know, Sharpie, I think you should market that idea, the toilet paper in tissue box idea.

As for microwaving butter, I tried that once, when frustrated with the hard refridgerated butter at hand. I did not get a puddle, but when I took it out, the whole stick collapsed, having melted on the inside first.
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that toilet paper was made in such a way that it dissolved when it hit water, whereas facial tissue does not. And therefore, facial tissue used in the place of toilet paper can cause the toilet to clog. And that would always be a bad thing.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
You are correct, but emergencies are emergncies. My thought was for Sharpie to design a dispenser for toilet paper which looks like tissue.

My friend's mother decreed that she and her brother should use three squares of tp per unrination. It would be much easier for them to just pull three sheets out of the box, you know?
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Oh, emergencies - nah, that's a whole other ballgame. My brother, the slob who never bothered buying necessities until he was out would use anything, including paper towels or newspaper. Yeesh! I didn't much enjoy visiting him. . .
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Wow. Talk about taking too personal interest in your children...
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
She was and is a freak.
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
You have my sympathies.
 

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Posted by Sharpie (Member # 482) on :
 
They've started marketing some paper towels in cartons rather than rolls; why not toilet paper?
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Get rolling, Sharpie!
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Sure - once they have toilet paper in a carton, you'll probably go ahead and start putting it on the back of the toilet perpendicular to the wall.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
No, Dag, but I will put it on the wall so I can pull the toilet paper tissues DOWN.

Duh.
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 

quote:

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My friend's mother decreed that she and her brother should use three squares of tp per unrination.

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Okay, first of all, I'm vaguely disturbed by that.

Secondly, why should her brother have to use any toilet paper at all for urination? That's a waste of toilet paper, frankly.
 

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Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
 
Some of you are more nuts than others, but I came in to clear somethings up. First, as to the butter, if it would melt and loose it's stick form outside of the fridge (durring the summer months) then it must be kept in the fridge. Take Chris's suggestion for warming up for toast, also it can be placed by a hot stove when in use for fast warm-ups. In some places the butter must always be in the fridge (near the equator), in some places it can always be left out of it which is prefferable since it reduces the number of steps in preparing food, as well as making it easier to apply.

Toilet paper goes on the outside, anyone who says different, we're searching for your spacecraft now, don't try to hide it, we'll find it eventually anyways.

Clothes order: underwear first, always. Then a T-Shirt, then real shirt (which can also be a T-Shirt on casual days) then pants (this insures easy tuck-in) then socks, then shoes (if you'll be inside all day and have carpeted floors skipping socks and shoes is permissiable, but if there will be shoes on your feet there will also be socks, period. And as to your sandal complaints, sandels are for people without a moral compass).

Ideally toilet paper should be stored in a cuboard easily accesible from the toilet since it will undoubtly run out when you are not predisposed to moving a whole lot from the toilet.

Hobbes
 

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 

quote:

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And as to your sandal complaints, sandels are for people without a moral compass).

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Like us hippies, eh?
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Sandals are for people in warmer climates who do not feel obligated to encase their feet into leather sweatboxes unless they are forced to by draconian workplace dress codes or by the freezing dead of winter, by which I mean the couple of weeks it gets below 50 degrees.
However, sandals are also for dressup. Casual wear demands flip-flops.
 

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Posted by WheatPuppet (Member # 5142) on :
 
How about pants? Button then zip, or zip then button?

I'm partial to buttoning then zipping, but it does increase the chances of forgetting the second step, which is quite embarassing.
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
It varies. Usually button then zip, if only because my gut often requires restraint before zipping is possible. Zip first only if I haven't donned my to-be-tucked-in shirt yet, usually because it's still in the dryer or some such.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
If the toilet paper spindle is any distance at all away from the toilet, you have to put it OVER. Otherwise, you're reaching extra distance for no reason. For a double roll, it could mean up to 4" less reaching you have to do saving both time and effort.

You'd think the people at Hatrack could manage to do things like this in the most efficient manner.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Zip first, then button. Interestingly enough, this is also a gut-induced sequence.

Dagonee
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Good heavens, Dag, wrong again. Button, then zip.

Verily, you are right about my friend's brother. He was not forced to wipe for pee. I didn't think that one through. He never complied with her demands, anyway. I just lumped them together because she had so many weird issues.
 

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Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
 
oh my, oh my...I might get it for this.

Butter.....who cares?

Toilet paper: OVER. I have no pets and have no kids (that I am aware of). Keep a spare roll on the tank.

Coffee: Pour hot coffee into cup. NO CREAM OR SUGAR. Lord help those who ruin their coffee by adding cream and sugar to it.

Clothes: (at home) Glasses, pants, shirt, socks, shoes if necessary. (on ship) White t-shirt, socks, coveralls, boots, hat/cover.

I never have to think about zipping before buttoning....no zipper, only buttons.
 

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Posted by Uhleeuh (Member # 6803) on :
 
And when you're dressing, at what point does the deodorant go on? Nobody likes deodorant stains on their shirts.
 

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Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
 
I put deoderant on as soon as I exit the shower and dry off with a towel.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 

quote:

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My goodness Eljay...I thought I'd invented that game.

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quote:

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Lord help those who ruin their coffee by adding cream and sugar to it.

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At least it's not skim milk. Skim milk is for drinking very hot tea in a hurry.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Am I the only Hatracker who wears skirts? Yeesh.

Butter: I don't use enough of it to keep it anywhere but the fridge (when I even have any). The squeeze bottle of pseudo-butter works fine at fridge temperature, so it lives in the fridge.

TP: OVER!

Coffee: Plain coffee tastes like mud -- nasty mud.

At home in the morning: Take two cups milk, microwave until hot (about 2 minutes). Add to several teaspoons of flavored coffee powder in insulated mug, stir briskly. Add lid and straw -- grab and zip out of house, I'm probably already late.

Elsewhere, or if I'm out of the powder: Take one cup coffee (brewed, instant, whatever), add 2-3 teaspoons sugar, and LOTS of milk (skim if available) or creamer. If possible, add syrup.



As far as clothes, I like variety. I don't think the order is the same from day to day. Except for knee-high stockings and shoes -- those go on last.

[ January 01, 2005, 11:03 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]
 

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Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
 
well.......

oops
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 

quote:

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sandels are for people without a moral compass)

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Whatever you say. As for sandals, though, they're very practical for climates such as this one. People here don't wear regular shoes, except for the foreigners. Male, female, young, old, almost all wear sandals here. Even if they're on a motorbike, bicylce, or running a footrace. Unless they're barefoot, of course.
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Oh - and coffee - sacrilege!

I'm a herbal tea drinker. Hot water, steep, remove tea bag, add sugar. Honey if available, though.

The locals, however, do black tea. Not coffee.

Regular black tea, grown in Sri Lanka, which, of course, has the best tea in the world. It says so on all the boxes of tea at the grocery store.

Fahim's version: Put tea bag in cup. Add boiling water. Let steep. Remove tea bag, making sure you squish out all possible tea goodness by wrapping around a fork and strangling with tea bag string. Add four heaping teaspoons of sugar. Stir. Let dissolved. Add enough milk to make tea sorta beige. Choke on sweetness.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
I pretty much agree with Hobbes, except he forgot to mention that one should put on one's stockings after one's skirt. It is equivalent to the socks after pants thing, though, so I won't quibble too much.

Oh, and herbal mint tea, allowed to cool.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Oh, Sara, I am surprised that such an intelligent woman could be so very wrong about so many things. Well, we still have Mark Helprin in common, at least.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
My world is perfect for me, and yours is perfect for you. Unless we share a hotel room, the difference should come to naught.

(Although I'd like to point out that in the hotel rooms, the toilet paper comes properly pre-inserted over, which is important because this orientation prevents cross-contamination of the wall behind the holder by unsanitized fingers. )

[ January 02, 2005, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
We should watch and see which way Monk does it. Ha ha.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 

 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
I think we all have a bit o' the Monk.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
In summer, one should wear skirts or dresses with nothing else underneath as often as possible. In winter, it goes like this:

Layer 1-bra and panties
Layer 2 - thick tights
Layer 3 - long underwear top and bottom
Layer 4 - socks, turtleneck, jeans or skirt
Layer 5 (if really cold out) - additional layer of socks, sweatpants, sweater or sweatshirt, boot(just the boots if not super cold); alternatively a suit jacket
Layer 6 - coat, hat, gloves, snowpants
Layer 7 - extra gloves, hood
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
But Jenny, bra first, or undies first? You kind of lumped them together, and I wasn't sure if I should assume it was bra first.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Toilet paper: Kids will unroll the paper no matter which way it's facing. Do you think they are put off by the fact that it is four whole inches farther away? Overhand is better because the part that's torn off is on the outside and can be easily found if there's no piece hanging. You don't have to feel around the back side of the roll. Also, it is hanging right out there in the open if you have to use the bathroom at night, and can't turn the light on because you don't want to wake someone. ALSO, am I the only one grossed out by the possibility of my paper rubbing against the wall before it touches my bum?

Coffee: Why would anyone put creamer first? What kind of sense does that make? You think it warms up the creamer more than if it's added later? The heat will be dispersed equally regardless of which order they are added. I put the creamer in later because I judge by the color before judging by taste if the amount is accurate. I wouldn't be surprised if many coffee drinkers do this. I doubt many people know exactly how much creamer they need, especially since the strength of the coffee will vary depending on where you're drinking it. The color/taste method is much better.

Edit: Sorry if this is repetitive. I didn't know it was a three-page topic until after I posted.

Also, did you know I take my bra off before taking my shirt off? I just noticed this about myself. Weird, huh?

[ January 02, 2005, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Sheesh! you guys are complicated! What I really want to know is the order you take things off...
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
1. Shoes.
2. Hair tie.
3. Pants and socks in one fell swoop.
4. Bra
5. Shirt
6. Undies.

Unless hosiery is involved, but that's only for special occasions, and the order it comes off is often unpredictable.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
PSI T
I know exactly how much cream to put in, and I do not waste water by using a spoon that will then need to be washed. As for the bra business, I am just shocked by people over and ver in this thread.

Jenny:
Shirt
Pants
Socks
Bra
Undies

Hmm. Interesting.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
My getting naked order varies, but it usually ends up with me running around in just socks (I hate having cold feet).
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
E: You wash the spoon? No wonder you're confused. As long as I'm in my own house, I lick the spoon.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

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Why would anyone put creamer first? What kind of sense does that make? You think it warms up the creamer more than if it's added later? The heat will be dispersed equally regardless of which order they are added.

---

Very, very false. We had several problems in my physical chemistry class (thermodynamics) on precisely this very issue.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Thermodynamics problems like these.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
The link did not work!
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
It's a pdf -- and not a small one. It should work if you a) have Adobe Reader, and b) give it a couple minutes.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Hmm. Giving a couple of minutes is probably the issue.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Patience, grasshopper.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
No, turns out it has some sort of error.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Weird. I'm not having any problem with it.

*goes hunting for parallel link*
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Ok, this one is along the same lines.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
And here is a better one, with graphs and tables.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
"So, by adding cream/sugar at the beginning the mixture achieves a lower temperature immediately, which means a slower rate of transfering energy to the surrounding environment. Losing energy slower means the average temperature of the combined coffee/cream/sugar will be higher."

Ah ha!(not that I really get it)
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
"In summer, one should wear skirts or dresses with nothing else underneath as often as possible."

To think I saw Jenny in a miniskirt just this summer and never even thought about peeking. I must be getting old.
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 

quote:

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Also, it is hanging right out there in the open if you have to use the bathroom at night, and can't turn the light on because you don't want to wake someone.

---

quote:

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ALSO, am I the only one grossed out by the possibility of my paper rubbing against the wall before it touches my bum?

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quote:

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My only question is, why do you have people sleeping in your bathroom?

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quote:

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Meh. Better than the other way around.

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My only question is ...
 

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Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
 

quote:

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Your pants-before-socks philosophy is so wrong, as is everyone else's. The socks go on first, thereby setting the stage for an easy pants pull-up. When the pants go on first, you have to pull up the legs to ajust the socks. With the socks already on, the pants can be applied from either a standing or sitting position.

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You're leaving out one crucial bit of information here: a man wearing socks but no pants is an offense against nature.
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
Or very, very cute.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Saxon,
Then you are too young to remember Tom Cruise in "Risky Business." It was the pantless sock-wearing that launched a career!
 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Why, oh why do you obsess on such meaningless details when there are so many vitally important things to discuss, such as how to bathe properly, what to wear (if anything) to bed, and how best to serve and enjoy tomato soup?
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Chris,
The reason is simple. Everyone knows that tomato soup should be made with milk, and served with a sprinkling of cheddar cheese and crumbled Ritz crackers.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Tomato soup without a grilled cheese sandwich is an abomination before God.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
In our house it's the other way around. A grilled cheese demands a tomato product.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Tomato soup is just wrong. Somewhere, sometime, someone forgot to actually put something in with the tomatos. To cover up their mistake, they called it soup and figured everyone would think they did it on purpose.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
I agree that it's wrong, if only because they made a soup out of a fruit, and not only that, it has milk in it.

But it's tasty.
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 
Actually, I just analyzed my own order as I got dressed this morning, and I realized that I do, in fact, put my socks on before my pants. I guess I'd never consciously thought about it, but I do it for the very good reason, mentioned by Elizabeth, that by putting my socks on first, I don't have to fight with my pant legs to pull the socks up. Especially when I'm wearing tight pants, which I haven't done since high school.

And to those who say that a guy with socks on and no pants is an offense, I have two answers. One, no more so than a naked guy, and regardless of when we put our pants on, every one of us is naked at some point in this procedure. Two, I live alone, so nobody has to deal with it. No one ever sees me until the entire procudure is complete, by which point it no longer matters.

quote:

---

Some bathrooms have the light switch outside the door (stupid design -- door has to be open for you to turn on light).

---

Hm. I was just going to say, "If it bothers people, then shut the door before you turn on the light. Simple." But if the switch is outside the door, that would complicate things. Now what I want to know is, what kind of idiot designs a house with the light switch outside the door of the room the light goes to?
 

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Posted by Sara Sasse (Member # 6804) on :
 
Whoever wired our apartment.

Yes, I'm serious. *sigh

I need to put a plug-in nightlight with a switch in there, but I keep forgetting.

[ January 03, 2005, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
 

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Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
 
There are 2 switches in the kitchen of our new house, and I have no idea what they turn off or on. Apparantly nothing.

In our old house farther north, which we lived in for over two years, there was a switch in the living room with no function we could ever discover. I think the builders put it there just to frustrate us.

space opera
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Dagonee,

At last we agree on something here! A grilled cheese sandwich is necessary to have in hand when eating tomato soup.

Of course, you butter the bread before grilling the sandwich, right?
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Absolutely. Any other way is uncivilized.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
But Mister Hard Butter Keeper, how can you distribute the hard butter on the soft bread?
 

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Posted by Traveler (Member # 3615) on :
 
When making Grilled Cheese...I like to melt the butter and brush it onto the bread. That way it is nice and evenly applied...and you also don't get too much butter.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

quote:

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But Mister Hard Butter Keeper, how can you distribute the hard butter on the soft bread?

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quote:

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and you also don't get too much butter.

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quote:

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Unfortunately, it's too little light to engage in my typical sit-down activity in the bathroom--reading the labels on the shampoo, mouthwash, or whatever else happens to be resting on the shelf near the toilet.

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I hear ya. Five minutes without the printed word is five minutes lost forever.

[ January 03, 2005, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Sara Sasse ]
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Why do you think people do that? I know that sitting on the toilet for even a second without reading is torture. What makes reading the toothpaste tube five thousand times more interesting?

BTW, I do not read on the toilet if I have to use it at night because I don't want to wake myself up. If I do I'll be up for two more hours, thinking.

[ January 03, 2005, 02:29 PM: Message edited by: PSI Teleport ]
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 

quote:

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What makes reading the toothpaste tube five thousand times more interesting?

---

quote:

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There would be no need for a light in the bathroom at all if men would simply remember to put the dadblasted seat down.

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quote:

---

Now what I want to know is, what kind of idiot designs a house with the light switch outside the door of the room the light goes to?

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Much as it pained me to do so, I just had one of my tenant's bathroom light switch moved from inside the bathroom to just outside of it. Until I bought the place the light switch had been inside her freaking shower enclosure! Who thought that would be a good idea, I wonder?
 

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Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
 
Any history of electrocutions in the shower in that place?
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
You know, about the toilet paper touching the wall? It doesn't. We buy cheap toilet paper, and it stays connected to the roll until the appointed time.
 

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Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
 
Toilet paper: Who cares where it's at? If you get the wrong brand, though, you're in deep doo-doo!

(I started to use this smiley, but decided that was just too gross.)


 

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