I was induced after not feeling movement and an ultrasound confirming he had died. His name is Brian Benjamin. He was 4 lb 13 oz and 19 inches.
The doctor could find no sign of cause of death, but said due to no mec in the amniotic fkuid it was fast so: I could not have gotten to the hosptial in time, no matter what and , he did not suffer.
I am getting lots of hands on help here, and lots of support from church. Our newest pastor spent a lot of time with us and she came at 5:30 AM to bless him.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by kacard (Member # 200) on :
Much love to you from the Card house.
Posted by Jay (Member # 5786) on :
So sorry, you and your family will be in my prayers.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I am very sorry to hear that, and you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Rob and Jenni
[ February 28, 2005, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
(((dpr)))
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I'm so sorry.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you too.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Thanks I need to get offline and just be with my family, but all your thoughts and prayers mean so much.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
((dpr)) I'm so sorry for your loss. Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
What Bob said. And hugs.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm so sorry, romany.
(((((romany and the family)))))
Posted by babager (Member # 6700) on :
Sorry for your loss. Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I'm sorry, romany. I'll be thinking about you and your family.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
You will be in our thoughts. Be with your family and take comfort.
((dpr))
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
Oh romany...
I'm thinking of you.
Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
That is horrible. I do not usually make it a habit of playing, but I will tonight. ((((dpr&family)))) Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, no. I am so very sorry.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Can we have your address?
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
((((romany))))
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm so sorry to hear about your little one. I'm really glad you have lots of support there for you and your family.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I am so, so sorry. All my best thoughts to you and yours. Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
I am so sorry. Your family is in my prayers.
Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
Oh my. I'm so sorry.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
I'm sorry for your loss.
Hello Brian. I always liked that name.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I am so, so sorry. I will pray for you and your family.
I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know he will wait for you.
[ February 28, 2005, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
Good wishes going out to the romany family. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Ah romany, I'm sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Words can't even... Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Oh romany, I'm so sorry. May God be with you and your son.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Oh dpr - I am so terribly sorry.
Much love, hugs and prayers to you, your family, and little Brian.
Posted by AntiCool (Member # 7386) on :
I remember when a very similar thing happened in my family, and we lost my baby sister. I've never seen anything more difficult for my parents to deal with. Our prayers go out to you.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
((((dpr))))
Wishing you comfort and peace through this time.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Oh, dpr, I am so, so very sorry. I know that none of us can take the pain away, but please know that I'll hold you and your family in my heart and thoughts. I hope you find peace. And I'm sure Brian was beautiful, and I *know* he was loved.
space opera
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
(((romany)))
Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
When I was laying down to go to sleep I couldn't help but think of this thread and my own family's situation. My family lost a daughter a couple of years before I was born. She lived for 2 months and suddenly died of SIDS. My family of course was devestated. It sounds like you are among family, which is the best place for you right now. I don't think my mother let herself greive, not for a while. She blamed/s herself. Her father reinforced this. She went through a very tough decade after my sister died because should couldn't believe that it wasn't her fault, she couldn't let it go.
I just wanted to remind you to give yourself permission to greive and to be able to fully accept that it was *not* your fault.
Best wishes (((dpr&family)))
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Oh, I'm so sorry. Lots of love and prayers.
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
dpr... my thoughts are with you and your family. My heart goes out to you. A beautifully chosen name.
{{{dpr and family}}}
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
: comes back to Hatrack for just a moment just for this :
(((((( romany )))))))
I cry for you.
Farmgirl
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
I'm so sorry, romany. Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
(((dpr))) Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
I'm sorry. I will keep your family in my prayers.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
{{{{{dpr and family}}}}} Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
Ah, dpr. I'm so very sorry. May you feel sheltered in God's love for you and yours. We, too, will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
What a tragedy! I'm so sorry. ((romany and family)) Alan
[ March 01, 2005, 12:47 AM: Message edited by: Morbo ]
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Man. That's awful... ((((dpr & fam))))
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
My thoughts, condolences and best wishes for you and your family, dpr.
I am so sorry for your loss. ((((Romany))))
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
I'm so sorry, romany. I'll be thinking and praying for you. Take whatever time you need to grieve in a way that's best for you and yours.
Posted by Irami Osei-Frimpong (Member # 2229) on :
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Hello and goodbye, Brian.
((((romany))))
Posted by Intelligence3 (Member # 6944) on :
((((dpr))))
Godspeed, Brian.
Posted by Mabus (Member # 6320) on :
I'm so sorry, Romany...my sister lost her own baby just a month ago, so I can see how it must hurt. I'll keep you in my prayers.
((romany))
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
I am so sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers.
Posted by ssywak (Member # 807) on :
So sorry, dpr.
(((((dpr)))))) Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
(((Romany))) I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss (((dpr and family)))
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
I'm so sorry.
Posted by solo (Member # 3148) on :
My own words seem inadequate...
quote:Beyond the door There's peace I'm sure. And I know there'll be no more... Tears in heaven
- Eric Clapton
Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
I'm so sorry, dpr. I'm so glad your family is there with you, though. Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Oh, romany. I'm so sorry. You know where the Bible says "greive with those who greive"...my family and I will be doing that for your family this evening. Much love to your family.
-The Raders
Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
That's so terrible. I have no words. I'm sorry for your loss, romany.
(((((romany)))))
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
I fall into the category of those who have no words.
(((romany family)))
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Thanks everyone. Every word means so much to me.
Elizabeth, drop me an e-mail and I'll send you my address.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I missed this yesterday. ((Romany family))
AJ
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
romanylass, you have all my best wishes and warm thoughts. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by punwit (Member # 6388) on :
I'm so very, very sorry dpr. I'm glad you have support you can draw on.
(((((romany)))))
Posted by Dead_Horse (Member # 3027) on :
Mourning your terrible loss and sending more prayers for you and your family...
Rain
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
I hope this doesn't bother anyone, but it just felt wrong to let this slip away so quickly. dread pirate romany posts here a lot, and the fact that she told us the day it happened means that we are very important to her. I just wanted her to know that she is important to us, as well.
I'm still thinking about you, dpr. I fear that anything words of comfort I could say would sound trite or patronizing, except that I pray you'll find your way through this journey to a peaceful end.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
There have been many other treads about babies recently, all of them (appropriately) with a different tone. Thank goodness we have happy news as well, but I wonder if this place is too stark a reminder for romanylass right now?
(((dpr)))
Edit: Amka, thank you so much for bumping this back up. I didn't mean this post as a criticism -- I've just been musing on whether to write her (which I think would be a good idea) and noting how many reminders there may be here. *sigh
[ March 02, 2005, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I didn't post on this the first time around, because I just didn't think there was anything I could say.
I will say, dpr, you are in my prayers, and I sincerely hope that you are taking comfort in the love and support of your family and church, and know that we love and support you too, as much as we are able to.
(((dpr)))
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
I know it is not a criticism, CT. I think I bumped it specifically because of the other news on the board, and I want dpr to know that it hasn't made us forget her.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
(I was thinking that it was an excellent way to handle it, Amka. My hat is off to you.)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I just want dpr to know if she sees this that our family are still praying for and "mourning with" her and her family.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I've been too busy to read the site, so I just discovered this now.
((((romany))))
I'm so very sorry.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Jenna, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Amka, that is very sweet. You all mean so much to me.
I admit, right now I am popping in, reading this thread and leaving. I know that sounds selfish and as time goes on I will branch back out into all the normal stuff. So I haven't read any of the other baby threads, but my congratulations to anyone who has head or is expecting one. I'm sorry I'm too "involved" in this right now to really be here for others.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Again, thanks for all the prayers and warm wishes.
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
I'm sorry for your loss. The above always helps me when I'm sad.
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
We don't expect you to be here for others, romany. By no means do we think you are being selfish.
We only expect you to take what support we can give you right now.
Posted by Lost Ashes (Member # 6745) on :
Love and prayers from Mrs. Sopwith and I, our deepest sympathies go to you and yours.
Wish we could be there to provide the hugs and tears for real.
((romany and family))
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Amka is so right, please don't think what you're doing is selfish or in any way not appropriate.
You need to grieve, and heal,and that is all you should expect out of yourself right now.
Just know we do care, and we want you to ease back into hatrack only when you feel ready.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
Update: It has been a little more than a week now. This is so hard. I always thought one thing I could never survive was the death of one of my kids but well, I have no choice, I have three living kids who need me. A lesson I would have rather not have to learn.
I start counseling today; I hope that helps.
Moms and dads greive differently. IN the last week my husband has cleaned, re-arranged, repaired things that have sat broken for months, and shredded 20 years of old documents. Wore out one shredder and bought another to finish the job. Me, I pretty much just cry. I think it would be easier for *me* if he would cry sometimes, but I have to be there for him, where and how he is.
The kids, wow, the greive erratically. Go a few days sometimes without crying, then break down. Matthew (almost 8) doesn't like us to talk about the baby and tells me "not to think about it because it makes you sad". He wants to return to normal routines in a few days...hard, but I think they really need it.
The memorial is the 19th.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hug*
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Your husband is crying, in his own way.
I'm sorry for your loss and Brian's as well - I hope you find the peace you need and the peace Brian already knows.
-Trevor
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
((drp and family))
Thanks so much for letting us know how you're doing. I've thought of you and your family so often this last week. I wish I were there to give you all a real hug.
space opera
edit: dpr, would you mind if we all got together and sent some flowers for the memorial? I know that some many of us are hurting for you, but we can't be there. Maybe by sending flowers in some small way we can be.
[ March 08, 2005, 05:59 PM: Message edited by: Space Opera ]
Posted by BotaLadyG (Member # 7053) on :
I don't know how I never saw this thread until now, but somehow I missed it completely...
I am so sorry for your loss. MY prayers will be with you and your family...
((((dpr & family))))
Nicole Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
I am sorry for your loss. Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
Oh, DPR! That's so horrible...I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. (((DPR)))
May good spirits comfort you in your time of grief.
Posted by Desdemona (Member # 7100) on :
Au Revoir, Brian Benjamin.
(((dpr and family)))
Somehow I missed this thread. I feel for you, and will keep you in my thoughts.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
T Medina- KNow you are right. It helps to rmind myself that he was raised to be strong and I am positive one of the things his dad told him when he called was to "take care of Jenna".
Space Opera- that would be very touching. We had not even begun to think about flowers. We have no idea how to plan all this. Luckily we see the pasto next week ( she is in Haiti right now) and she'll walk us through it, but this is her first memorial too.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I don't want to butt in or give unwanted advice, but something that helped my cousins when their little brother was stillborn was to draw pictures for him. The pictures were displayed at the memorial, and then put away and saved in a special box with the things that had been made or bought specifically for him and were too painful to look at. The box went in the attic, so whenever they (or thier parents) need to look at it, they can go and remember him, but no one has to who doesn't want to. The picture-drawing made them feel like they were contributing or doing something to help, and also provided an outlet for their grief. (I think one was a picture by the oldest of the baby in heaven; another was just a pretty flower the younger girl drew, and the youngest just scribbled, but his pictures were labeled with what he told his mom about them: "The baby doesn't have to cry, he's safe now" was the most memorable.) Their father is a minister, I don't know where he got the idea, but it really seemed to help them and make them feel included, and putting them away afterwards with some ceremony provided an extra sense of closure that the youngest two didn't really get from the service.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
dpr, a thread has been started for flowers. When more arrangements are made, perhaps you can e-mail me with the information. I *don't* want to make this harder on you. It's just that I know so many of us are hurting for you and it's one tiny thing that we can do to show how much we care for you and what you're going through.
space opera
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Still thinking of you and your family, sweetie.
Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
kq, that's a good idea, I'll do that.
Space Opera..thank you, so much, and all of you for your love and support.
Posted by DocCoyote (Member # 5612) on :
DPR,
I also did not see this thread until just now. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the tough times ahead for your family. I hope the knowledge of friends who care about you and your family will help you attain some peace down the road.
Lisa
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
So sad. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Dropped something in the mail for you, dear. Hang in there.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
((((romany)))) Posted by LadyDove (Member # 3000) on :
romany-
Like so many others, I don't know the words to express my wishes of support and sympathy.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
I missed this thread when you originally posted it.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
I'm so sorry to hear about your little one. I'm really glad you have lots of support there for you and your family.
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)