Ok, so it isn't dumb. But I had workshop today and they ripped my poem apart and said that it was too cutesy and that it wasn't a poem that mattered.
This is somewhat disheartening, as you can imagine.
Our next assignment is a "persona poem". We're to pick a person that everyone or the majority of a group of people would know, and then write a poem from their perspective, adding a twist of our own. Our teacher gave the example of Cinderella talkig about how she couldn't stand the prince, but she simply had to get out of her stepmother's house. We're not to use anything that cliche, however.
So does anyone have any ideas? I've thought about Harrison Ford, Henry Ford, Christopher Columbus, Joe DiMaggio...but nothing's inspiring me. It's due on Thursday, and I'm really starting to panic about having nothing. Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
"The World's Wife" by Carol Ann Duffy is basically a book of persona poems - well worth a look. She's basically gone for wives of famous men - eg Mrs Lazarus, Mrs Darwin etc. What about a cartoon character? One of the Simpsons, Tom from Tom and Jerry, Donald Duck?
Posted by Lady Jane (Member # 7249) on :
quote:wasn't a poem that mattered.
Oh...I HATE that - saying that this work of art matters and this work of art doesn't, especially when it's based on some crackerjack set of criteria, as they often are.
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
You should do someone that everyone would recognize but no one would think to do. Like a famous traitor or badguy. Write a peace that heroizes (is that a word) someone like Benedict Arnold. That will get their attention but unless you really want to don't get too over the top and do someone like Hitler. That might make somebody mad.
That is my advice for bettor or for worse.
P.S. More advice-ignore most of what I say. Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
Write it about your prof.
Posted by Lisha-princess (Member # 6966) on :
Someone in class asked if we could do her, and she said yes, but it would be risky. Personally, I think the woman is frightening and I've already given her enough to criticize me on.
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
Theemazeeaz you are truly amazing that is brilliant! Definantly do it about your professor and don't brown nose either but don't be mean. Be like a Speaker For The Dead and just tell it how it is.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I don't think that is a good idea, because she doesn't know her prof. out of class, so she doesn't really have enough material to write about her.
Hmmm, maybe Abraham Lincoln? He had a fascinating life story. Or there's George Washington Carver. Or Pontius Pilate. Or Garfield (not the president, the cat).
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
Can you do a cartoon character? If so do Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes.
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
I second the Garfield idea.
"I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned. I like to eat when no one's home. Spaghetti is my favorite dish, Followed closely by some fish.
If I weren't so hungry all the time I could come up with a better rhyme!"
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Lasagna is his favorite.
He's obviously not related to mack.
[ March 01, 2005, 03:50 PM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
At least I made it an Italian meal!
(It's been a while since I've seen Garfield. Sorry.)
Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
In honor of the RotS spoiler thread, how about Darth Vader?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
OoooOOOooooh, it's perfect!
Or Yoda.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Once my roommate wrote a sonnet about her favorite Swedish pop band. She never mentioned their name, but the rhyme scheme was A-B-B-A.
This would be a hard assignment to do without being trite. I hate trite assignments. If I were in your situation, I would do as much as I could to stretch the boundaries of the assignment. I'm trying to think of how to do that, but not coming up with anything. Hmm. Maybe just do someone awesome like Billie Holiday. And write it all in scat!
Posted by Lisha-princess (Member # 6966) on :
Right now, at the suggestion of a girl in one of my classes, I'm thinking about Count Rugen from Princess Bride. Yes or no?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
The one problem is that while we all know who that is, I'm not sure everyone has seen that movie (like it's reasonable to assume everyone in your class has seen at least one of the Star Wars movies.)
Posted by Lisha-princess (Member # 6966) on :
Yeah, but three people volunteered to share their ideas today and I had never heard of their person before at all, so I feel reasonably confident that it should be okay.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I think you should write a poem from the viewpoint of Moby Dick.
Oh for cryin' out loud, can't you leave me alone? I'm white! I get it. Go home!
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Oh...I HATE that - saying that this work of art matters and this work of art doesn't, especially when it's based on some crackerjack set of criteria, as they often are.
I hate the flip-side of this attitude, too, which is that a poem about something "important" is automatically good.
Posted by MichelleEly (Member # 6737) on :
You could do Ender. (Fender, mender, tender, sender, render, bender.)Or Alvin Maker - a plethora of good rhymes.
Will Smith. You could use "jiggy" - underused word in poems.
Lindsay Lohan (What rhymes with buxom tart?)
ee cummings - use no punctuation or caps.
Camilla Parker Bowles - nobody would see THAT one coming.
I'd do Lassie. (in Haiku)
Sable cross dresser Blazing across our TVs Save Timmy from well.
(You could also point out the pun in blazing - a blaze being the white line on some Collie's noses AND the cross dressing/TV pun.) Michelle
Posted by Lisha-princess (Member # 6966) on :
Alright friends...here is what I've got. It's not really about Count Rugen anymore. But that's okay. I have a little bit of time before I have to turn it in tomorrow, so if you have suggestions I'd be glad to hear them. (You can tell me if it's lousy. I'm getting used to hearing that.)
Also--thank you so much for all the input and help you guys gave. It helped me keep a lighter attitude towards this assignment.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The Six-Fingered Man By Lisha-princess March 2, 2005
He stands before me, twisting his sword, six fingers curling around its hilt; staring, searing me with his baleful glare. Then—
he’s darting down the corridor, leather boots pounding on the gray stones. And I pursue.
Twenty years I have waited—studying, training, searching for my father’s bane, and my revenge. I have dreamed of him at night… his dispassionate brown eyes impaling me as his rapier thrust itself through my father’s chest again and again… his calm stride out the door as I cried, tears mixing with blood from the cuts he left on my cheeks. I have dreamed of him, and he cast a greater shadow than this spineless husk in daylight.
Past heavy, wooden doors, and through empty castle halls, I chase this craven man, so dishonorable he cannot face his crimes. This man, unworthy to play sheath to my blade, yet his prior misdeeds demand it.
I spiral down stairs, flawlessly prepared for success, until his dagger catches confidence in my abdomen and I fall.
Gasping, I breathe of failure to my father and grimace in pain. He laughs, detached and mocking, and I return to our shop, this Six-Fingered Man looming over me, my father’s blood glistening on his blade. My father, who taught me to hold a sword.
I yank the dagger free and struggle to my feet. Lurching forward— Hello. Parrying his attacks— My name Is Inigo Montoya. I have lived for this moment. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[ March 03, 2005, 12:59 AM: Message edited by: Lisha-princess ]
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I really like the poem. Particularly the "I have lived for this moment" line. But re-reading your first post, it says you're supposed to add a twist of your own... like Cinderella just wanting to get out of the stepmother's house. I don't see the twist in your poem... to me, it reads like a perfect capture of the character I already know.
Which, as far as I'm concerned, is fine. But you might get ripped part again, or downgraded for not following the assignment.
Posted by Lisha-princess (Member # 6966) on :
I tried to look at his thought process, which we don't see in the movie--how he has built up this monster in his mind for twenty years, and when he finally comes face to face with him, realizes that he's perhaps not the evil monster he thought Rugen was, but is, in fact, a total coward. The part about finding the determination to stand up again and finish him off I think is more apparent in the movie, but the first part is not...*however*, I don't know if it's clear enough in the poem.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
I really like this poem.
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
As to what kq said earlier, any one who hasn't seen the princess bride should be given a one week warning to see it and then at the end of that week if they still havn't seen it- WHIPPED SEVERLY!!! *Evil Laugh* And by the way, great poem. I thouroughly enjoyed it.
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