*arrives late as usual and finds an empty seat at the "oddball table"*
*surveys the room*
*thinks to self: "They're all oddball tables"*
*feels perfectly at home*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*finds the obligatory disposable camera and unwraps it greedily*
*starts taking pictures of the gum under the table*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*looks under table to see what Sarcastic Muppet is so fascinated with*
*gets flashed* Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*practices toast*
*decides she needs a dirty joke*
*ducks anything thrown by the bride*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*grows impatient waiting for the appetizer*
*gets up to investigate the situation in the kitchen*
*turns to find ElJay ducking behind him*
*gets nailed in the back of the head with a knish*
*didn't know this was a Jewish wedding*
*splits knish with ElJay*
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
*lurks*
*wonders what Ebertification means*
[ March 15, 2005, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: scottneb ]
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*briefly considers writing a review of the rehearsal dinner for his small-town newspaper*
"...a toast, which resulted in an all-out food fight, strangely reminiscent of a scene in a story I once read about prepubescent children training to fight an interstellar war."
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*creates a kinetic sculpture of silverware, artificial sweetener packets, and non-dairy creamer cups atop his empty glass*
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Huh. dkw and I used to do that at Arnold's Malt Shop.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: *gets nailed in the back of the head with a knish*
*didn't know this was a Jewish wedding*
*splits knish with ElJay*
*joins in the various festivities*
*manages to already spill something on dress*
*grumble*
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
*wonders if there is a alternate meaning behind "various festivities"*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*finds the kitchen deserted*
*retrieves a tub of cottage cheese from the fridge and finds a serving spoon in a drawer*
*scurries about the dining room, scooping cottage cheese onto salad plates*
"Would you like pepper on your cottage cheese ma'am?"
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
*wonders why no one else is raiding the open bar before it turns over to pay*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
"Oops, forgot the fruit"
*hurries back to the kitchen*
*trips over Elizabeth as she staggers back to her seat*
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*doesn't tell Elizabeth that all the bar's stocked with is sparkling cidar*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
*doesn't tell ElJay that the sparkling cider is the alcohol kind, and that she is schnockered and doesn't even know*
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Believe me, darlin', if it was the alcoholic kind I'd be behind the bar right now.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
*Decides he is better than the groom*;
*Puts on a nicer tux and frowns at all who don't know who he is and think he is 18.*
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*doesn't tell ElJay she's hot, to avoid drunken rant*
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
*Writes a poem about TomD; declares it in public, and sticks out tongue when he sees Ralphie.*
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
*wonders why the party has lasted more than 24 hours*
*crashes on the floor with exhaustion*
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*leers drunkenly at mormo*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*takes pictures of Elizabeth drunk on the floor*
*takes pictures of skillery playing caterer*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*pauses to smile for the camera*
*notices smoke coming from the kitchen*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*takes picture of flaming stove*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
*wakes up with headache* *Wonders why there are runes painted all over arms and legs* *remembers it is a Hatrack weding*
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*comes out from behind pillar, looking confused*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*pulls the fire alarm*
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
*takes picture of evacuating crowd*
*positions self next to the street to take a picture of the incoming fire truck*
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*can't wait to see SarcasticMuppet's pix on Foobonic*
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*dances with sarcasticmuppet. for some reason, she can't hear the music in my head but wants to lead anyway*
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*now we're in the street? Dances Hatrack 2:Electric Bugaloo*
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
***
About a Raia I'll sing a song, Sing Hatrack in style is in: About a Raia I'll sing a song, Who knew that the party was going wrong; Not only did it go so wrong, She did every one of us in, us in - She did every one of us in.
One evening in a fit of pique, Sing Hatrack in style is in: One evening in a fit of pique, She jumped right up in a silent shriek; There was a mouse on the floor, and so meek - Nobody had brought him right in, right in, Nobody had brought him right in.
Her rivals she could not dare stand, Sing Hatrack in style is in: Her rivals she could not dare stand, A food from the recipe she planned; And Quiddie died with the spoon in her hand - And Ralphie put on a grin, a grin, And ralphie put on a grin.
She weighed Tom Davidson down with stones, Sing Hatrack in style is in: She weighed Tom Davidson down with stones, And sent him off to Davy Jones; All Steve Rogers had found were some bones - And occasional pieces of skin, of skin, And occasional pieces of skin.
She set the Hatrack stove on fire, Sing Hatrack in style is in: She set the Hatrack stove on fire, And burned dear bev'ley, for she was a crier; And Raia danced round the funeral pyre - Playing a violin, o-lin, Pleaying a violin.
That eve, when she ran out of what to do, Sing Hatrack in style is in: That eve, when she ran out of what to do, She chopped up our dear-most Rivka in two; And staked her along with the kitchens' full crew - And invited I3 for the din, the din; And invited I3 for the din.
And when at last sexy JH came by, Sing Hatrack in style is in: And when at last sexy JH came by, Her petty pranks she could not deny; For then she knew she'd have to lie - And lying she knew was a sin, a sin, And lying she knew was a sin.
My tragic tale I won't prolong, Sing Hatrack in style is in: My tragic tale I won't prolong, And If you did not enjoy this song - You're all to blame if it's too long; You should not have let me begin, begin, You should not have let me begin.
***
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
*wakes up from nap*
*realizes everyone has left*
*wonders why nobody woke him up*
*puts out the fire by turning off the stove and opening up the window*
*puts his own style of music on the system*
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
That was pretty labor intensive, JH.
(btw - Your tongue wouldn't be so much sticking out at me as it would be in the panting position. You're in your teens, for Pete's sake! Women are all panting material!)
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
JH, don't stick it out unless you're willing to...or never mind. Cool song! Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*pantses Ralphie*
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*knishes Raia*
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
*feels special* Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
One little "s" in "pantsing," a whole world o' difference.
Posted by skillery (Member # 6209) on :
*sees that the firemen have signaled the all-clear*
*hitches up his pants and goes back inside*
*notices that the bride and groom seem to have disappeared*
Posted by Mormo (Member # 5799) on :
*hates spelling lectures, but the mooning makes it bearable*
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
I stuck my tongue out at you, Ralphie, because you called me "Spanky" months back.
No hard feelings on my behalf, by the way.
JH
Posted by Ralphie (Member # 1565) on :
Nor on mine, Spanky. Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
*Snort.*
Posted by Posable_Man (Member # 5105) on :
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