This is topic The best come on ever. Ever. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
So, cab drivers here are notorious for hitting on me... they do it all the time, and are usually extraordinarily creepy. They ask for my number, they tell me that they stopped because their hearts started pounding when they saw me standing there... whatever.

Today, I had one who was at least creative with his pickup line. This is by far my favorite come on out of the ones I've gotten:

Driver: You're so cute! Why aren't you my wife??

(30 seconds later...)

You're not married, are you?

Me: Uhhh....
 

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Posted by bunbun (Member # 6814) on :
 

 

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Posted by lucy hummer (Member # 7740) on :
 
I think it's adorable dear.

Unless of course you are married.
 

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Posted by Achilles (Member # 7741) on :
 
So, how you doin'?
 

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Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
 
That's cool. I think "I see you're drinking 1% milk..." still beats it, though.
 

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Posted by Mr_Megalomaniac (Member # 7695) on :
 
lol, hillarious. I gotta try that one... maybe not.
 

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Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
 
Enjoy it while you're young...

Though I suppose cab drivers smoozing you is NEVER fun....
 

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Posted by Risuena (Member # 2924) on :
 
Oooh! Cab driver come ons, I've got some stories about that!

I get in a cab at the airport and tell the driver to take me to the bus station.
Cab driver: Where are you going?
Me: Zacatecas (I was in Mexico)
CD: Why do you want to got there?
Me: I've got friends there.
CD: Oh, well a pretty girl like you should be heading to the beach. I can take you to Puerto Vallarta and show you around.
Me: No thanks, my friends are expecting me.

So I get to the bus station, get my ticket and sit around to wait for the bus. This old guy sitting not too far away keeps staring at me and then starts talking to me.

Old guy: Where are you from?
Me: The US.
OG: Really? You sound like a native. Where are you going?
Me: Zacatecas.
OG: Really? On the 1:30 bus?
Me: No, the 1:00
OG: Oh, well you should take the 1:30 and go to my hometown. I can show you around.
Me: No thanks, I've got friends waiting for me.

Once I arrive in Zacatecas, I leave the bus station and get in another cab.

Cab Driver: Is this your first time in Zacatecas?
Me: Yup.
CD: And you're traveling alone?
Me: I'm visiting friends.
CD: Your boyfriend?
Me: No, just a friend.
CD: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Nope.
CD: Boyfriends?
Me: Nope, I don't have the time.
CD: Oh, well if we got married, you wouldn't have to work at all...
Me: Okay...
CD: And we could honeymoon at the Quinta Real.* Do you want to marry me?
Me: Uhhh...

Keep in mind that all three conversations happened on the same day. I don't remember any other incidents with cab drivers on that trip, but I later met up with my mom in a different city and she holds the same allure for Mexican tour guides as I do for Mexican cabbies.

* The Quinta Real is areally nice luxury hotel in Zacatecas built on top of the bullring - I wouldn't mind honeymooning there, just not with the cab driver.
 

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Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
 
A teenage Mexican boy told me that the poetry of Pablo Neruda was beautiful, just like me. I thought that was kind of sweet.

Actually, I was the one talking about Pablo Neruda, saying how beautiful it was, and he kind of co-opted that from me. And then I had some vocabulary mishaps and accidentally told him he was very Chinese.
 

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Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
Well Susie, how many languages do you speak?

I know of you using English, French, and Spanish, but are there a few that you aren't telling?
 

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Posted by Jay (Member # 5786) on :
 
I was sitting here looking at the stars thinking they were the most beautiful until you walked by
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 

quote:

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Ahh, Israeli cab drivers...

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quote:

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I know of you using English, French, and Spanish, but are there a few that you aren't telling?

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quote:

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So, cab drivers here are notorious for hitting on me... they do it all the time, and are usually extraordinarily creepy.

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It happened again? I'm sorry, but I'm going to have myself a good laugh if you don't mind.
 

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Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
 

quote:

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Ahh, Israeli cab drivers...

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quote:

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And a אחד מאלה to you, too!

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Babelfish doesn't translate Hebrew....

[ April 05, 2005, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Erik Slaine ]
 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
中国語が分かりません。。
 

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Posted by Da_Goat (Member # 5529) on :
 
Oh yeah! \/\/311 7r! 2 r3^d 7h15!
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 


Steve: I love you too.
 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
Ha ha. What Eric said in Chinese was pretty much analogous to what I said in Japanese.

Him: I do not speak or write Chinese
Me: I do not understand Chinese.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 

quote:

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Steve: I love you too.

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I feel special.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Actually, all it says is "And a one of these to you too!"
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
.......to bad I don't know Chinese, Japanese, or Hebrew. Ah well, I'm still going to wade my way through this thread. I feel as Raia's friend it is my obligation to laugh at her misfortune. Isn't that right Raia?
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Yeah... exactly.

You're sweet anyway. Much as you try not to be. It adds to your charm.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
.....And I'm not even trying!
 

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Posted by Jonathan K. (Member # 7720) on :
 
Is אחד מאלה pronounce achad malah or achad melah or something else. It's been a long time since i went to hebrew school (a whole of 3 years) and I need vowels.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
I dont' know how to type the vowels, but it's "echad me'eleh" if that helps!
 

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Posted by Jonathan K. (Member # 7720) on :
 
oh, okay.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 

 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
.....I suppose I should learn Hebrew shouldn't I? I'm not sure where I could learn though......why does my town have to be one of few towns in my area with no Hebrew/Jewish residents?

[ April 05, 2005, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: SteveRogers ]
 

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Posted by Jonathan K. (Member # 7720) on :
 
why should you learn it?
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
Well, people are using it here. And I think it would be cool. I don't know. Don't disillusion me. Once I get something into my head, I do it. Most of the time at least.
 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 
I'd like to learn hebrew, but I can't think of anyplace I'd use it. I wish there weren't so many languages in this wide world... :/
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
You could use it here. When you all come and visit me.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
So....I have to learn to speak Hebrew AND I have to figure out a way to go to Israel to visit you? There isn't a time limit is there?
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*helpful* She's staying for another year . . .

Learning Hebrew Online
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 

quote:

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And a אחד מאלה to you, too!

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It's incorrect a combination. It should be "and one מאלה to you, too!", "and אחד מאלה to you, too!" or "and a one of אלה to you too".

As for voweling, it's אֵחָד מֵאֵלֶּה.
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
Hey, SteveRogers!

I can't really teach you Hebrew, but if you ever run into a problem - you can ask me for help. I did study a LOT of grammar, and I know a bit of stuff. Furthermore, I speak Hebrew correctly - which is very rare today. So, just pop a message to my e-mail (you're all welcome to), and I'll do my best to assis with those problems.

JH

P.S. Waiting for your landmark.
 

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Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
 
私も中国語が分かりません。

でも、日本語で書くのが好きです。：）

〜ジェイン〜
 

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Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
 
לא ידעתי כי אפשר לכתוב בעברית פה
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
אכן, ניתן הדבר לעשייה. ולא רק זאת - אלא שאף רבות הפעמים בהן ניסיתי להסתיר דברים מעיני הפורום ע"י שימוש בעברית (אשר רק מעטים הבינו).
 

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
 
It's like that old Eddie Murphy routine (if I remember correctly)--"99 times out of 100 they say no, but that 100th time? It's magical."
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Jonny, stop showing off.

Yes, Ela, it's possible.
 

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Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
 
Yes, well, obviously it's possible with Windows. I wasn't sure I could do it with a Mac - my Hebrew font doesn't work everywhere.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Ah, I see.
 

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Posted by Swede (Member # 7560) on :
 
Det skulle vara mycket roligare att läsa det här om jag förstod vad det står.
 

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Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
 
E meu problema e que ha gente que pode me entender; entao, nao posso evitar aparecer incompetente em escrever portugues.

E tambem, tudomundo pode ver que nunca aprendi a criar marcas de acento usando o PC.

E nao sei se "PC" seja masculino ou feminina.

E nao me lembro se "marcas de acento" e a terma correta, ou simplismente uma transliteracao de ingles.
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
Meus amicus:

Linguae Iberiae erant brutae; igitur, Lingua Latina bella est. Quoquem, stultus sum, quod loquor non syntaxam Linguam Latinam.

Ioanus Havardus Australeanus
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 

quote:

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P.S. Waiting for your landmark.

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Was this directed at me or someone else?

Also- I feel so left out. People are speaking Hebrew around me in circles. I really do need to learn it. How long do you think it would take someone to learn it if they are somewhat lazy and procrastinate?
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
At you.

And... around 1 year? If you know what you're doing, it can take a year. Rules are rather firm, so you only need some vocabulary.
 

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Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
 
Personally, I'd like to be able to read the Japanese. It looks so pretty. Plus, Jane is always sending me this Japanese stuff and I always have to ask her what it means.
 

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Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
 
じゃあ、私の日本語のきょうかしょを読んだらどうですか。

〜ジェイン〜
 

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Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on :
 
OOOOOHHHHH...
NOW I get it!

DFGFD LG#@$* (@#$כח יכךדגלחכיךד גלחכי ךדגלחכ
Y84 40@#(GFDGM

Yep, I'm in! Just don't forget to bring popovers and an anti-radiation suit!
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Woah, Beanny...

You actually speak the language, don't you?
 

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Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on :
 
Indeed.

Oh, I see, you're offended because you didn't recieve an invitation to our little party. Well, it's not because we forgot about you (חס וחלילה), it's because some crazy taxi driver snatched the invitation, claiming to be your fiancee.

So here's an invitation, just for you:

ÖÛ ßãď ïëóø ǓŸŵъч вχЛЄсﻈﺇ ﱞﺄﻕﻬ קוד סודי!

-Beanny

P.S. Rayguns, fish, and Barney dolls are strictly forbidden.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
You've completely lost me. But thanks.
 

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Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
 
Oncle Ourson (hee hee hee)-

Je suis d'accord avec toi. C'est presque impossible de mémoriser les grands chiffres dont on a besoin pour écrire les accents avec un PC. (Et je crois que PC soit masculin, parce que «ordinateur» c'est masculin) C'est pour cette raison (franchement, pas seulement pour cette raison, mais....) que j'aime si fort mon Mac. Il faut que tu en achètes un si c'est possible.

[ April 06, 2005, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: Susie Derkins ]
 

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Posted by Erik Slaine (Member # 5583) on :
 
오하이오, 아니오! 나는 무엇을 했는가?
 

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Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
 
wow, i haVe no idea what about half of this thread says.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
JH-

quote:

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At you.

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quote:

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E tambem, tudomundo pode ver que nunca aprendi a criar marcas de acento usando o PC

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Tambem.

Mas nossa Scott! Seu portuguese esta muito bem, apesar de ser muitos muitos anos desde que voce voltou da missao.

Ah, but you've probably been back there since then. I wish.
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
So now I'm paranoid about whether I should have used the form os ser in that sentence instead of estar. The latter implies that the state of your language skills is constantly in flux. Hm.
 

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Posted by Portabello (Member # 7710) on :
 
Senhor Card,

Eu tenho exactamente o mesmo problema.
E facil falar e ler, mas e maid dificil escrever. E e mais deficil ainda teclar.

mr_porteiro_head, AntiCool, e Portabello
 

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Posted by Portabello (Member # 7710) on :
 
Narnia -- I wish the same thing. It would be sooooo much different to be in Brazil as a tourist.

*dreams wistfully*
 

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Posted by Susie Derkins (Member # 7718) on :
 
I really hope my "Oncle Ourson" moniker sticks. Because - you see - it's rather funny.
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
Uhhh... Beanny, your Arabic ain't top-notch.
 

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Posted by Audeo (Member # 5130) on :
 
tu dimidi partem cogitas si centesimi partem cogitarem fortunatus sim
 

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Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on :
 
Jonathan Howard - erm, I don't think you understood my point....

I'm writing in a secret code.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
*giggle*
 

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Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
 
Except putting a Hamsa underneath an Allif without a Casra is bad encryption, because it's illogical and undecipherable - even at the other end.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
JH- I'm not sure I'm going to write another landmark at 1,000. I don't have anything climatic to write about. Of course, landmarks can be short, to the point, and sweet. I might who knows? I certainly don't.
 

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