We rented a copy of the movie Avalon from the local library and watched it last night. I thought it was a very good movie, but so sad. As soon as the movie was over, I turned to my wife and said, "Maybe we should start phasing out the TV around here, huh?"
She smiled and nodded.
We never do anything gradually. First thing this morning, the TV was disconnected from everything else in the entertainment center and move it to a closet. The DVD/VCR went in there too. So much for "phasing it out." It's gone for a year starting today. It's already buried under some rolled-up sleeping bags and quilt batting we didn't have room for anywhere else.
We're not getting rid of the TV altogether. It might come in handy still. But it's definitely not readily available anymore. It's kind of like putting the credit card in a strongbox and giving the only key to a neighbor who vacations a lot. And doing that before you even start using the card heavily.
For the first year of our marriage, we didn't even have a TV, and not because we couldn't afford one. There were simply so many other things to do. Then my wife's brother brought one over in his truck. I think he felt sorry for us. We accepted it, because that's what you do, and we put it in the closet. But football season started, so I would drag it out on Saturday to watch a game. Eventually it wound up in our living room. Then we bought a VCR, then a DVD player. Then we signed up for basic cable. We discovered that our daughter would stay quiet for a half an hour or so with a PBS show or a Disney movie, and it became a crutch. Soon it started to seem like the TV was minding our kids for us.
Not that we ever became a "TV family." We still never found ourselves on the couch of an evening watching prime time, and dinner conversations rarely mentioned the shows we were watching--because we weren't. We would pop in a movie occasionally, and I would watch a game here and there. (But now that the Utah Jazz are done for the season, I hardly have an excuse to turn the thing on at all.)
Still, the chilling scene at the end of Avalon, where the husband and wife who have been so vibrant and loving throughout the movie are sitting on their bed staring at the squawkbox like it's their god--I didn't want us to ever turn out that way. I didn't want the TV to eventually invade our kitchen and bedroom. I didn't want a TV show to become all we had in common anymore, not when we all thrive so much on each other's precious attention, and not after all the hours my wife and I have enjoyed in conversation after the kids have gone to bed. We'll still catch movies, and we certainly won't ban our kids from ever seeing TV again--just not in prime time.
How drastic a change this is has yet to be seen, I suppose. We spent the day outside, cleaning out the carport and hauling stuff away to be recycled by someone else. It was cathartic, as ruthless spring cleaning always is. I think it underlined for both of us exactly why we made such a sudden, rash decision.
We had expected a fight, but guess what--our 4-year-old daughter hardly batted an eye. She asked once if she could watch her Care Bears movie, but pretty soon she was sitting at the kitchen table doing a painting. Our two-year-old son immediately climbed into the gaping empty shelf in our entertainment center and made a new play area for himself. They had more of our attention all day, with less distraction. I really doubt they'll miss the TV much--and from past experience, I know they won't be missing much.
So far, so good. Our only real concern is how we're going to rearrange our furniture now that the big, hulking entertainment center is gone. Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
I think that's great. When I was 14 my parents put away the tv for a year. We did so many fun things together in the evenings and it was a golden year in my memory. I enjoyed talking to my parents, something that didn't happen as much when the tv was around.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I am glad that works well for you and your family. However, it might not be the right choice for everyone. Jenni and I watch some TV...she watches more than I do to be sure..but one of the thing we really enjoy is curling up at night and watching a good movie. It isn't that we have nothing else to do, because we play a lot of cards, play pool, and we both read a TON of books, but Jenni hurt her back in a car accident, so sometimes she isn't feeling well enough to do anything physical. Watching TV shows we both enjoy, or movies, lets us have something to do together that doesn't hurt her back, and that we can do at night without leaving the house.
Now don't get me wrong, TV isn't the only thing holding us together. We belong to the YMCA, and go swimming together 2-3 times a week when we can. Jenni sings at different events, and is still involved in the Rainbow Girls, and I am a 2nd degree Mason, so we do charitable events throughout the year together as well.
I am just saying that not everyone who watches TV becomes a slave to it.
Kwea
Posted by Danzig (Member # 4704) on :
Congratulations! I keep my furniture in as much of a circle as I can, with the coffee table in front of the couch. Promotes conversation as well as being a place to hold board games.
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
We took the TV out of our bedroom, because I was channel-flipping my brain into oblivion night after night. Now we read ourselves to sleep - a much better choice - and since I find both Leno and Letterman nearly intolerable these days, I don't miss anything about late-night lying-in-bed viewing.
At the same time, there are some wonderful shows that bring our family together. We and our 11-year-old watch Joan of Arcadia, Smallville, and American Idol together - we DVR the episodes to fit them into our schedule, but we wait till we can watch them together.
And however noble the aspiration, I could never put away the TV before Lost and 24 have wrapped up their seasons! <grin>
Still: We know that need to keep TV under control. Our children have never been allowed to have a TV in their bedrooms, for instance (our daughter has one only as a DVD-player/Game Cube monitor; it shows no broadcast TV, and we know what DVDs she owns).
But we catch ourselves slipping into the whatever's-on rut. For instance, the TV in our kitchen/dining room was installed ONLY so we could keep abreast of news stories while cooking etc. But we found it was where our daughter ate her after-school snack, which began to turn into two hour of pretending to do homework while those shows were on. So that practice ended.
We think we have the right balance now for our family - the TV serves us, not us the TV. But ... everybody has to draw the line in different places. I remember, as a kid, that there were several times when our tv broke down, and my parents didn't get it fixed. Maybe it was lack of money; but it was also a low priority. There were shows I loved; but when we had no working tv, I didn't go over to friends' houses to watch, I simply read books and was just as happy. Happier, really, in some ways.
So it doesn't hurt kids to be deprived of TV. Anything really good they can get later on DVD anyway <grin>.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I had a place a few years ago where I got cable for the first time in years. I didn't sleep more than 4 hours a night for the first month.
I swear, that Discovery Channel/History Channel is an insidous one-two punch.
So I completely understand what you mean about channel flipping into oblivion, and I refuse to have our TV in the bedroom hookied up to the cable for that very reason.
[ April 24, 2005, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by gnixing (Member # 768) on :
quote: Now we read ourselves to sleep - a much better choice
Ok, I agree with the comments about TV. In fact, we don't have either an antenna or cable on our television at home. However, I don't necessarily agree that reading oneself to sleep is a better choice. I think either way, it's the material that's important.
For social reasons, I believe reading to be as negative as television, but reading aloud to be much more positive.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
There are exactly six shows that I watch during the course of a normal week. Sunday nights I watch Iron Chef America, if it's a new one. Wednesday nights I watch Mythbusters and Good Eats. Saturday nights I watch Red Green, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, and Yes, Minister.
Occasionally the Discovery Channel or the Hitler Channel--oops, I mean the History Channel--will run some one-shot special that I'll be interested in. But aside from all that, my TV is almost never even on. I won't get rid of it or put it away because I do enjoy those few shows I watch. But my computer is my major time-wasting device.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Actuall, I read myself to sleep. I also have trouble sleeping. One of the things you are not supposed to do is read in bed, if you have sleep issues, because it trains you to think of bed as a reading place, not a sleeping place.
Sigh.
I still read in bed.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
When we moved, we didn't get cable. We do have a TV and we can get PBS on a good day.
Not to say that we don't watch TV. We rent dvds of tv shows that trusted friends (read:Hatrackers) reccommend, or download bittorrents of broadcast tv shows we know we like (Just 'Lost' and The Simpsons, at the moment -- though we do buy the Simpson's dvds).
I do the netflix thing, and usually try to have two dvds at any given time that we can all enjoy together. We have had Ju-on for weeks now... can't watch it with the boys and the hubby only makes it about 15 in before he turns on the lights and putters around in the kitchen, muttering, "I can't hear the scary noises, I CAN'T hear the scary noises." I think I may just send that one back.
We only have the one TV, though we will occassionally watch an ep of Lost on my laptop in bed.
We also keep the kids away from video games as much as seems good to us. My husband and his brother play games WITH them (favorites now are Armed and Dangerous- lots of fun with whimsical weapons like the Shark Gun and the Topsy-Turvy Bomb, and Wallace and Grommit... zoo something-or-other). They are also allowed to play nintendo 64 or super nintendo games in the truck on long trips. But we try to keep solo video game time to a minimum, without sucking the joy out of it by being too dictatorial.
When people try to talk to me about reality TV shows and such like, I'm deeply relieved that I haven't a clue what they are talking about. Mostly because I know I'd be sucked into it, too, given the opportunity, and I just don't want to spend my time that way.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I lived without any tv for almost three years, starting when I was 18. I didn't miss it much. But since my husband's started being gone, I let my aunt give us one, and I have started watching a lot, mainly to keep my sanity. I'm not happy about it, and I'm trying not to expose Emma to much tv-- when we're both sick, she gets to watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, or when it's rainy and we can't go out walking I put on Baby Bach or Baby Mozart-- but it's enough of a treat that when I need it, like when we flew to Atlanta, it still works.
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
OK, Verily. Given the shows you watch, I'm perfectly happy for you to put YOUR tv away <grin>.
Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
You want to know what tv hell really is?
When our kids were little, nobody knew about the phenomenon of kids endlessly watching the same videos over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ...
We found out when four-year-old Geoffrey decided that the Robin Williams Popeye was the greatest movie ever made. I still have it memorized, all these years later.
But children hunger for stories, and this is one that Geoffrey needed. Years later, when the variety of available videos was MUCH greater, Zina decided (at age two) that Pocahontas was the movie that would be the defining story of her life. At least I was able to hide from it sometimes - it was Emily, Z's older sister, who had to memorize Pocahontas the way I had to memorize Popeye.
There's more than one reason to tell your kids the tv is broken.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Oh, yes! I remember that phase in my little brother's life! But what does it mean that the two my brother decided were the "defining stories of his life" were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Yellow Submarine? Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
My mom hid our Mighty Mouse disk (as in video disk—really ancient technology) from us because we had the same problem. She got so sick of the "Here I come to save the day" song that she just couldn't take it anymore.
I think putting the TV away (or seriously limiting its availability or use) is a great idea. Frankly, I've always found it a little troubling that all our living rooms or family rooms are centered around TVs, like they're some sort of shrine or something.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I'm going to echo the excellent strategies used by good parents on hatrack - like OSC and Olivet.
Wes and I also took our TV out of our bedroom, I read every night before I go to sleep, Wes usually just falls asleep right away.
Like Olivia, we don't let our kids play video games alone, the XBox is family entertainment, it's not something to be monopolized by one person. Same with the computer.
As for TV, I do have things I enjoy watching, but rarely do we spend an entire evening staring at the tube. We play games (Carcassone is our favorite, because even Emily can play and it's enjoyable for her age up to the adults) and we read. Emily enjoys having long books read aloud to her one chapter per night, and the twins will usually listen in for most of it too. Natalie reads on her own.
The twins also like to draw pictures in the evenings, which is usually okay except when I need to print something for school and find out they've taken all my printer's paper!
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote: Frankly, I've always found it a little troubling that all our living rooms or family rooms are centered around TVs, like they're some sort of shrine or something. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's why ours is in the bedroom, and probably always will be-- away from toys, books, and other more accessible playthings, where kids have to have our permission to use it.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Belle, we have GOT to get the kids together to play sometime soon.
When the TV is off, they play so forcefully all around my house and outside... It's so much fun to eavesdropp and ambush them, using their bad guy character's name. Heh. Robert spends a lot of his time drawing cartoons and characters for his own TV show (some day! ) called Mouse Warriors. There are six or seven of them, all with different powers and attachments and particular villains they fight.
As Liam said to me last night, when I asked if they could keep it down just a bit. "But we're using our 'maginations!"
That kid sure knows how to shut ME up, anyway. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
That's what you get for having smart kids who know that mom's not going to beat them, Livvy. Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
KQ-- I know your baby is a lot younger than either of mine, but we'd rather not have a TV than have one in the bedroom.
You saw our re-decorated bedroom, right? We're almost ready for the final touches. When It's done, maybe I'll share some pictures. Belle, I think, is the only 'racker who ever saw the 'before' in all it's cluttered glory.
Anyway, we try to cut out the bedroom as a place for us to just be together. We are decorating it with a love nest-y feel, candles shimmer drapes and other things not condusive to watching Leno.
Every morning, though, I wake up in a bed full of little boys. We want them to know they are welcome here, too. I'm sure our TV arrangemenst may change as our family changes, though. Who knows?
Edit to KQ: Boy, do I have a couple stories for the "kid stories " thread... If I can find it.
[ April 24, 2005, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: Olivetta ]
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
The reasoning behind having the tv in our bedroom is this: we won't have it on when Ems is in the room, so it limits our watching time. She already ends up in our bed and our bedroom quite a lot, but we just keep the remotes on top of the tv-- out of her sight and out of her reach--, and none of us miss it. If it was in the living room, where we spend most of our time, there would be a definite temptation to turn it on and let her watch it to keep her busy while I cooked or did laundry. Different priorities, I guess; my mom put the tv in her room when she felt we had started watching too much, and since that was dedicated space for her, where she could say "you are not allowed in here right now", it worked.
Not to say your priorities aren't wonderful. But I'm not much of a decorator; never have been. We're lucky if we stick to a general color scheme in our bedroom, and I don't see that changing very soon. We tend to do other things to create a "love nest" feeling.
[ April 24, 2005, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just the rest of my house iis ruled by a pack of monkeys.
They've just now gotten to the point that we can hang pictures with real glass and non-plastic frames on the walls. My figurine collecting is still packed away from when we moved here 6 years ago (with a two-year-old and baby on the way).
We try to close the TV cabinet when we are not watching or playing video games. I don't usually allow as much video watching as I did that day you and KP were here. I was so crazy that day! I have not thanked you enough for the omlette - I would have had the raving blood sugar crazies without it. Mmmm... Omlette...
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Me, too. I think we both needed it. And I assumed you being a little nuts created special circumstances when it came to rules.
Jeff was jealous when I told him about the omlette, though; he was stuck eating pizza all weekend. Not that pizza's not good, but...
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
quote:OK, Verily. Given the shows you watch, I'm perfectly happy for you to put YOUR tv away <grin>.
Hey, now. Have you ever seen Mythbusters? Or Good Eats? They're very educational. They're about science. Posted by ambyr (Member # 7616) on :
I haven't had a TV in the four years since I moved out of the house for college, and I don't miss it. I can watch DVDs on my computer, if I'm in the mood, including old TV show episodes (although I only do once every few weeks). I'd much rather have that than feel the need to rush home so I can watch a specific show at a specific time.
When I was a child, my parents gave me the choice of having cable TV or Internet access (this was back in the days when the Internet was new and shiny, and just having dialup was a big thing). I picked net, so TV was never a big part of my childhood -- there just wasn't anything interesting to see on the half dozen chanels we had available, apart from occasional PBS documentaries and cartoons at 6am on Sunday morning. Occasionally we'd watch Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy as a family, but we were much more likely to be playing boardgames and wordgames ourselves.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
When we were kids, Mum and Dad would put the tv away every summer. It only came back out when rugby season started. <grin> We didn't miss it.
I think I'll do the same thing when I have kids. Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
I don't know what I'll do when we have kids and they want to watch the same thing over and over. Some stuff I could tolerate, I suppose. But 100's of times? I might go mad!
How do you parents cope with that? Just tune it out? Put a TV in the back room?
I'm tempted to just set some arbitrary rule about no TV except on Saturdays and the oldest person in the room gets to decide what we watch.
HA!
That'll show 'em.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
When I was little, we had a babysitter who made us watch "Solarbabies" every time she came over to watch us.
Don't ask me why.
I think she thought the...uhm...living orb thing was cute or something.
Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
Edit to BobBut they won't give you any peace to watch something that doesn't interest them.
For one of my kids, it was The Digimon Movie. *wince* I'd hide it, he'd find it. It was like a game we'd play. The stakes were actually quite high. If he won, he'd get to watch this insipid movie he LOVED. If I lost... that stupid song would be stuck in my head for a week.
It's almost always the worst possible movie that they adore, but you get tired of the good ones, too.
[ April 24, 2005, 06:57 PM: Message edited by: Olivetta ]
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Congrats, afr. I'm sure you'll enjoy all your new-found family time and freedom from TV.
We do have a TV, but like most other 'rackers, use it in moderation. We don't have cable, something that to most people practically makes us aliens.
space opera
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Congrats! I really would love to cut back on our TV usage. I do pretty well in nice weather...if it's a sunny day, I tell the kids they just have to go outside. We don't get cable, and the kids pretty much think PBS is the only channel we get. We do watch movies a few times a week, usually as a family. We have decided they won't get to have TVs in their rooms, or internet access when they get computers. (ie, inherit the one I'm using now). We try to limit computer games to half an hour, but it always seems that when I call time, Matthew is in the middle of a big battle with Carthage, or Olivia has just made it to the Friendship Ball.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
<-- Doesn't have a TV <-- Is smug about it <-- Refuses to think about how much time he spends in front of his computer
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
Like Scott, I wouldn't want to put away my TV when Lost and 24 were on.
I do have a TV in my bedroom, and in my living room. However, I mostly watch TV in my bedroom...since my computer has a recorder in it, so I can watch shows when I want to. I do watch movies in the living room...but rarely cable TV.
I do have a few shows that I watch regularly: Alias, 24, Lost, Jack and Bobby, and Scrubs (a 1/2 hour show). I also sometimes watch a new show called Blind Justice.
However, I almost never channel surf (as I almost never watch live TV). I watch the shows that I really like...but skip all the commercials (thanks to my computer). I sometimes watch the news...but I get most my news online. That way you can read the main stories, without having to hear some news anchor ramble on for hours pretending they know more about the topic than they really do.
That being said...there are no shows that would keep me from doing things in real life. If a show conflicts with going out with my friends...and for some reason I can't record it, then I just miss it that week. I would much rather hang out with friends, than watch TV. I also read far more than I watch TV. If I had to give up either reading or TV, I would give up TV in a heartbeat.
*edited for omitted word*
[ April 24, 2005, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: Lupus ]
Posted by Amka (Member # 690) on :
We actually built a room for our TV and sound system. We rarely watch movies in the theater. But it is the custom of my husband and I to watch a movie after we put our kids to bed. We have an unlimited pass at our rental place and have been downing independant and foreign films like cheap candy. The thing about that is we are usually not too silent while watching them. We talk about camera shots, filters, plot, etc. Which is why you are probably all happy that we watch them in our own home.
We don't get good reception, so we've subscribed to a service called USDTV. We have local channels, public channels, and a few of the educational cable channels.
What was interesting is that when we moved the TV, our children actually watched less. The machine was out of the way, as compared to the family room that is basically the same space as the dining room and kitchen.
Our other televisions are the PAL one to watch videos from Vovka's mom, and the black and white 5 inch one my husband thought would be fun for a camping trip. I don't know why.
[ April 24, 2005, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: Amka ]
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Let me suggest that anyone who really wants their TV to serve them should rush out -- rush, I say -- to buy a DVR. It's completely changed the way Christy and I watch television.
Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
I just want to applaud your decision, AFR. We still have TVs around.
Posted by maui babe (Member # 1894) on :
When my children were small, the hand-me-down TV that we had finally broke, and my then-husband and I together decided not to replace it (this was in about 1985). A few years later, my mother bought us a television for a Christmas present, and we went out the same day and bought a VCR - we never hooked up the TV to cable, an antenna or anything but the VCR (and later a supernintendo... about the time Nintendo 64 was released).
My younger children grew up with no idea of what TV was. They were a little bit fuzzy on radio, too, frequently asking me to rewind a song they liked as we were driving in the car, and thoroughly perplexed on why I couldn't. I remember hearing one of my older daughters trying to explain "channels" to them. It was funny, because she wasn't all that clear on the concept herself.
My children are ages 14-24 now, and I've never regretted for a second those 10+ years without TV. (We do have cable now, in a different state and a different way of life.) My children are extremely creative. I've NEVER met (or even heard of) any child who reads more than mine. They've all done very well in school. They spent their childhoods outside, raising animals (at one point we had more than 50 cats in our barn), planting gardens, going hiking and camping. I never heard them complain that they were bored or that there was nothing to do.
I think what I liked best about not having that influence in our lives, though, was that my children do not treat one another like sitcom characters do. They recognize that an insult is not "humor". And to this day, if I hear a laugh track, the TV goes off.
I realize that a no TV life is not for everyone for a variety of reasons. No one in our house was a sports fan, for example, so we didn't have any contention over that. But it was one of the best decisions I ever made for my family.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
maui babe, I probably could have given your kids a run for their money on the reading thing back when I was one of them... I was the only kid I knew who, given a choice, would choose a good book over playing outside (my mom had to force us), computer games, a movie, or (gasp!) tv. But then, I had major issues; reading was an escape.
quote: That being said...there are no shows that would keep me from doing things in real life. If a show conflicts with going out with my friends...and for some reason I can't record it, then I just miss it that week
Exactly. We had a hard and fast rule growing up that even if it was a day we were allowed to have tv, it went off when it was time for dinner. Period. It was never explained, and since we grew up with it, we never really questioned it (especially since my mom was nice about letting us turn the VCR on to record it if it was something we were really involved in, and we could watch it after dinner or the next day). But the message I got from this was that there is nothing on tv that is more important than sitting down to eat with and talk to your family, and enjoying each other's company. We all heard about each other's days (and usually learned some genetics from my mom; I could explain "autosomal recessive" by the time I was 8, when she worked newborn screening, and when she switched to craniofacial, we all learned about Feiffer's, submucous clefts, and associations with syndactyly.) Now we have the same rule in our house. Nothing on tv is more important than facing each other at the table and asking, "How was your day?"
[ April 25, 2005, 01:54 AM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Thanks for all the responses! I totally didn't mean to bag on anyone who (gasp) still has a TV and watches it. There's plenty on TV that's worth watching, and TV watching is certainly not necessarily a bad thing. But as a family, we just decided we didn't like the direction our TV usage was going in our home. For example, I got a bit of a raise a while ago. And one of the first things I suggested to my wife was that we could use the extra money to get a premium cable package. And I was only half joking. I think we were at the point where we were either going to upgrade our TV technology and viewing power tremendously or give it up altogether, and we chose the latter.
We still have other vices in the home, such as the computer. We can still watch DVDs on the computer, of course. And we have 4 or 5 educational games that our daughter often plays. But those have been instrumental in helping her learn her alphabet and numbers, and they're really not too obnoxious. Still, sometimes she seems to spend hours playing them. We need to find a good balance there, too.
And books. Books are why I've been sleep-deprived most of my life. I always have a few laying around, and often I read when I could be doing something much more useful. I've told myself many times not to get any more books, not to have any recreational reading around, because I can't afford the time. But I haven't even come close to taking that advice yet.
I know I can't always be on, and it sure is nice to relax in front of the TV or with a good book. I think we'll keep books; otherwise we'd all go crazy. But I really am looking forward to almost being forced to create our own entertainment when the TV isn't an option. My wife's friend and her husband are just that type of family: they camp, they fish, they hunt, they hike, they garden, they do canning, and they have two kids even younger than ours. I don't think they could name more than one or two shows that are popular on TV right now, but they certainly don't lack for family fun, and that's just so appealing to me. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I can definitely recommend the gardening and canning thing. We did that as a kid, and not only was it incredibly satisfying (even, or maybe especially, in our rocky, poor soil, which needed lots of attention to grow anything) to grow, eat, and put up our own fruits and veggies, it tastes so good. Spend some of that money to get yourself a nice pressure canner, water-bath canning equipment, Miracle-Gro, and some kid-sized hoes, rakes, spades, and gardening gloves, and you'll be giving your kids a gift they'll never forget.
[ April 25, 2005, 03:08 AM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I think that's a great decision your family has made, AFR.
My parents never had a tv in the house while I was growing up. My friends thought it was unbelievable, and decided we were either really, really poor or belonged to some kind of cult - how else could you explain the absence of a tv?
Instead of watching tv, I read. All of the three kids in our family are big readers, and we all were reading fluently by the time we were three. I firmly believe that the role books and reading has in my life was entrenched by my childhood, and I am very grateful for that.
I look at my 9 year old sister today, and I see the games she plays and the way she amuses herself, instead of watching cartoons mindlessly. I see my 16 year old brother who is intelligent, well read and prefers a conversation over dinner than tv.
Tv can certainly work for some families, but for mine the lack of one worked very well.
We (Tony and I) have a tv now, and I am ashamed to admit I am a tv addict. I even watch Oprah. We watch tv, or a movie, every night. Because of this, and because of my upbringing, Tony and I plan to get rid of the tv when we have kids.
I'm thinking of maybe keeping a tv (with no arial) for family movie watching once a week or so. But that will be about it.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I think a lot of us here could give anyone else a run for their money about the reading as a child thing....go figure, we all met at an authors web site....
quote: I totally didn't mean to bag on anyone who (gasp) still has a TV and watches it.
AFR, you didn't appear to be bagging on anyone, I just wanted to put another opinion out there. You made it quite clear that it was a choice you made for your family, for specific reasons, and that it worked for you.
[ April 25, 2005, 11:39 AM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
That's good, Kwea. I'm glad you posted your counterpoint.
I've also witnessed the huge effect the presence of a TV can have on the kids. I also spent the early half of my childhood without any form of TV, and I was clueless about the shows that were on. I remember making up shows in my head—-long bits of imagined action and dialogue so I would have something to contribute in banter with my friends. They probably thought I was nuts. But we never had any way to put our lives on hold, so we always had to make up our own ways of getting through an afternoon when there was nothing to do.
Contrast that with some days I remember after my parents caved and bought a TV. I had the whole schedule in my head so that there was something interesting to watch from the time I got up to the late evening. I remember spending days like that, plopped in front of the TV, and being annoyed when there was a half hour with nothing good on. When my parents started imposing and enforcing limits, it was torture. My dad rigged a lock on the on/off switch that only he had the key for. Pure torture, because the TV was there but it wouldn't work.
Finally, my parents sold the TV, and we didn't have one again. I was talking to my mom about this last night. She remembers that about a day after the TV was gone, nobody even mentioned it again. And I've noticed the same thing as I've gotten older. When there's no TV around, it's not even an option, and all the TV shows you used to watch cease to be important. When there's a TV but its use is limited, it becomes a hard rule that you have to constantly and rigidly enforce, and it's almost like a torment. You look at the blank screen and just imagine the utter nirvana of what it could be showing you.
We still have the TV in our closet, facing the wall and covered with sleeping bags and batting. But I imagine that in a year, when we haven't even pulled it out, we'll probably just get rid of it and forget about it completely.
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
We have a TV but it isn't hooked to cable or satellite. We get no reception. My stepdaughters are growing up on episodes of Andy Griffith and the Beverly Hillbillies. How many kids can say that now a days? They're funny when they quote Barney.
We watch good movies; you should see my stepdaughter's dance to "Sunrise Sunset." We were all hooked on CSI, but our blockbuster hasn't picked up the 4th season and we've watched all the episode from seasons 1-3. (And, I can't see paying $68 to own the DVDs)
I like not caring who is kicked off the island. I would be addicted if I started. I get to watch Dr. Phil while I'm at the gym. That's my guilty pleasure and helps me get through my running. Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
The best year of my short-lived marriage was the year we had no TV. Anytime we had one, he just spent all his time totally glued to it to the exclusion of all else.
No one in my house now is big TV watchers - no cable or satellite - just local stations, and not much on worth watching there. Sometimes it stays off for days at a time.
...now if I could just get the kids to leave the computer games off more often....
Farmgirl
Posted by Bella Bee (Member # 7027) on :
I love TV. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I have to admit, when I'm talking to someone and they 'hush' me in order to hear what the newscaster or whoever is saying, when all they're doing is repeating the same news as has been on all day, it does make me a little sad .
It is my ambition to spend at least a year of my life TVless at some point, but I'd have to be somewhere where there was enough to do in the long, dark winter evenings to keep me occupied (or even better, somewhere where there aren't long, dark winter evenings.) TV is just such a wonderful way to shut down your brain after work. But when it takes away from real time with your family, it becomes a problem.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
quote: Let me suggest that anyone who really wants their TV to serve them should rush out -- rush, I say -- to buy a DVR. It's completely changed the way Christy and I watch television.
I'll second this with great enthusiasm. I find that with it, I tend to do less of the "watch whatever's on" type of TVing and more of the "Hey, this is a really interesting story...so glad I can ignore the commercials" type of TVing.
I'll admit to enjoying TV. Yes, there's a great deal of crap, but there's also some really good TV.
Also, I'm one of those people that has found TV a way to bond with my loved ones...while computer games in general and a certain MMORPG in particular seems to be having the closing down/distancing effect that people generally ascribe to TV. I would be far more inclined to remove computer gaming from our lives, if I could.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
We ended up with a 60" big screen TV this weekend. Long story but I couldn't resist the bargain, and I was the one that said "Why don't we get the bigger one?"
Wasn't till we got it home that I realized how *big* it actually was. It didn't look nearly so huge in the Costco Warehouse (discounted substantially further from even Costco prices because it was the "floor model")
However I don't think our TV viewing will actually increase. It will increase our enjoyment of TV viewing though. Our old one was steadily dying. We'd have to throw things at it about every five minutes to bump it to keep the picture from becoming to staticy to view, and we have cable!
AJ
Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
Dan and I just cancelled our cable - mostly to save the money. We've replaced it with Netflix - much cheaper, and we only watch what we choose to watch. Also, I've decided to keep books I still have to read on the shelf where the cable box used to be, so I remember how many there are!
I do watch a lot more local news now (I really miss The Daily Show, though), and I still have Lost and sometimes will watch The Amazing Race (I love seeing the different parts of the world they go to!).
I mostly keep it on for noise, though, when I'm home alone Monday and Tuesday nights. I get too jumpy otherwise.
I think when we have the room (and the money), we'll get a TV cabinet - that sounds like a really good idea. Then we can close the doors when we're not watching, and it won't be such an immediate temption to flip it on. We'll hopefully get a good quality sound system, too, so I can play music instead of needing the TV for sound. My computer speakers just aren't good enough to project through the apartment for when I'm cleaning or whatever.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Hey, Vana, if you and Dan want our old TV stand, I suspect we will be getting rid of it soon. It doesn't have doors, and is Ikea, but pretty nice otherwise. It goes with our coffee table.
I had some fantastic college roommates for a couple years and we had a TV that was only for videos. It was never turned on to broadcast television. We would rent chick movies and foreign films and have movie nights where we'd invite friends over to watch them. It made movies a social thing and made our house peaceful. We'd almost always have mellow music on and sit around in the living room and read or do homework. It was fabulous.
When I moved back home, I was shocked by how often the TV was on. It's usually on news, but it grates on my nerves. I can't handle having the noise of talking voices on in the background, and I go especially batty when Mom's got one thing tuned in on the mini TV in the kitchen and the kids are watching something else in the living room. I've become a bit neurotic about it, really.
I think my kids will get a TV that only gets PBS or shows videos, and have prescribed times for watching. Maybe we'll watch Dick van Dyke on DVD once a week. Posted by Vána (Member # 6593) on :
AJ, that's very kind, but we do have a TV stand ( from IKEA also! )already. We have lots of gaming equipment. So, we don't need one right now. But thank you for offering!
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I miss IKEA so much. Well, at least we'll be near one soon, whether we move or not; either we'll be near the Burbank one, or be here for the opening of the new one in Frisco! Posted by Brian J. Hill (Member # 5346) on :
Anyone have any suggestions for a good, inexpensive DVR? I'm not a big fan of TiVo--the information-gathering creeps me out--and am on a limited budget. The only capabilities I really need are the ability to record one show while watching another, enough storage to hold about 3 hours of TV shows, and letting me start recording a football game at the scheduled time then start watching it 45 minutes later and fast-forward through all the commercials.
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
Hey BannaOj, are you replacing your old one with this:
That's what I have and it's wonderful. The remote works through the doors and never again shall my children scratch my DVDs. (or watch tv without permission for that matter
[ April 25, 2005, 05:15 PM: Message edited by: Miriya ]
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Brian - Check with your cable company. Many companies are now offering DVRs instead of the traditional cable box. We had one while we were with Cox and have one again with our dinky one-man cable company. Usually the fee is tiny - like $5 a month, so you'd be paying that for a long time before approaching the cost of a TiVo.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Umm not sure yet. Basically we only need a smaller case to hold the DVD, VCR, and Dish Network box since the new TV is a 60" stand alone. We may just stack them on a coffee table. After having the version we have, I wish it came with doors, though the corner placement was perfect for what we needed before.
If anyone else in the area wants it, let me know. We are using it right now, but will probably downsize to something smaller. The TV is huge enough I don't need more large peices in that space!
AJ
Posted by DPerry (Member # 7882) on :
My wife and I haven't had cable for a couple of years. Generally, I don't miss it. We get acceptable reception, so we can still watch network TV when we want, but we usually don't want. We watch plenty of movies, and we've started collecting seasons of our favorite shows from days gone by, but otherwise it's a pretty easy addiction to replace. When I really need to watch some TV, I'll just throw in some Firefly or Farscape.
The only time I find myself wishing for cable is at the beginning and the end of baseball season, since I'm a displaced New Englander and can't see my Red Sox here in Chicago.
Posted by Avatar300 (Member # 5108) on :
DPerry,
For $15 a month you can get mlb.tv on your computer. If you're willing to pay that much, and your connection allows you a good viewing session, you might try that.
Then you can watch the Red Sox and still thumb your nose at cable.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
My parents always limited our TV viewing. 1-2 hours a day, max -- and that got decreased if our grades dropped or we got in trouble. And it was PBS only, with the occasional exception for shows that we watched as a family, like The Cosby Show.
Many of my friends didn't have TVs at home at all, so I didn't often feel deprived in comparison.
This was before TV "locks" and codes, so we did take advantage when they were out. Some of the things we watched I'd love to be able to scrub out of my brain (I still remember watching Badlands the night my youngest sibling was born -- ew!). Then again, I still have a special place in my heart for Moonlighting.
When the large TV in the family room died, it didn't get replaced. These days, my parents have one small one in the guest room, and it almost never gets watched. My dad has cable reception on his computer, and watches the occasional sport event, and he uses Netflix (well, he does when they're in the country). Sometimes my mom watches movies with him.
I, OTOH, until recently was a serious TV addict. When it's two in the morning, and you can't sleep (recent divorce, stress of single parenthood, job stress), and it's much too late to call anyone . . . well, there's always SOMETHING on, even with no cable. And if not, videotapes of favorite shows work well too.
These days, I've discovered that I watch very little TV -- Hatrack and my other online addictions have displaced the TV addiction. I use Netflix, and I do watch a few hours of TV a week. But I no longer watch any show (except maybe SG-1) regularly. And I don't particularly miss it.
Like kq, I keep the TV in the bedroom, to keep it away from the kids. Once in a while I'll watch a movie with them. And I know their aunt, who watches them sometimes, shows them videos.
I applaud anyone who chooses to unplug the box, even if I am not at that point myself.
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) called Mouse Warriors. There are six or seven of them, all with different powers and attachments and particular villains they fight.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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We ended up with a 60" big screen TV this weekend. Long story but I couldn't resist the bargain, and I was the one that said "Why don't we get the bigger one?"![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)