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A WEST NYACK, N.Y. MAN was found dead at his computer apparently the victim of trying to keep up with too many professional forums. Childress H. Wanamaker, 54, an account executive at a New York-based new media company, died of starvation according to the West Nyack coroner's office. Wanamaker's emaciated body was found by Loraine, his wife of 26 years, who told MediaPost she had been bringing her husband meals on plastic trays for weeks, but that he never took the time to eat them.

"He was glued to his computer 24/7," she said tearfully. "He was so afraid he was going to miss an opportunity to contribute a comment or start a discussion, that he just stopped eating." She added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

Computer forensic specialists from SUNY at Cortland discovered that Wanamaker was subscribed to 48 different forums and networking communities including one apparently having to do with the elderly called "oldtimers" and another apparently limited to just 100 people. They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.

"He felt under terrible pressure to be part of the online community," said his son, Lucian, who says he tried several times to get his father's attention and lure him away from the computer. "The only time he even looked up was when I told him I had seen Dane Madsen trying to steal his car out of the driveway."

Police found what appeared to be an organization chart taped to the wall of Wanamaker's den with lines linking small photos of people unknown to the police including a Tom Hespos and an Adam Boettiger. Neither is considered a suspect in Wanamaker's death.

"Once, I thought I had him," said Lucian Wanamaker, "when I said that mom had made cookies, but half out of his chair, he just sat back down mumbling something about two Roman gods; I believe it was Jupiter and Atlas having some sort of titanic battle. 'Let them eat PIE,' he bellowed banging on his keyboard."

Computer forensic specialists reported that there was no order or continuity to Wanamaker's forum postings. "It looks like he just sort of randomly commented on whatever was in the discussion string at the time," said Stephen Hall, CUNY-Cortland adjunct professor of intemperate and impulsive behavior. "He let nothing go by unchallenged by his own point of view, nor failed to respond to any other community member asking for advice or a new job. This consumed not only 24 hours a day, but also, apparently, his physical health."

In what must be a record, Wanamaker was linked into to over 15,250 other community members, many of whom he exchanged notes with daily. He also contributed to 375 blogs and was expected to start an online column about the impact of interactive communications on health, when he died.

A virtual memorial service will be held online at a date to be determined.

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"He was glued to his computer 24/7," she said tearfully. "He was so afraid he was going to miss an opportunity to contribute a comment or start a discussion, that he just stopped eating." She added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

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I feel like a horrible person for saying this, but that's pretty funny. And yet sad at the same time.
*wonders if that guy ever posted on Hatrack*
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
I wonder what his name at Hatrack was...

Come on, you KNOW we have a few of this type of poster here...if he wasn't registered here, he probably lived for a few weeks longer than if he had been...

Hell, you are listening to one now....

[ April 30, 2005, 07:05 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
 

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Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
 
I'm sorry, but if I had to choose between eating and Hatrack, eating would come first.
 

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Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 
Pfft...who needs food anyway.

Oh, wait...
 

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Posted by dawnmaria (Member # 4142) on :
 
That's just terribly sad. To have a family and completely ignore them for total strangers. I only ignore my hubby when he ticks me off and the baby won't let me ignore her!
 

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Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
 
I note that the source site has this listed under "Commentary", not "news".

And that theres "Warning, Satire Ahead" written at the bottom of the page next to the link to the column.

Hmmmmm.

Unless I'm wrong, it is okay for you to think this is funny, Eruve. Just a hunch.
 

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Posted by odouls268 (Member # 2145) on :
 
PUH-LEEEZE tell me that this is a joke. If it's not, I'm going to poop on myself in protest
 

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Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 
*wants to tell odouls that it isn't a joke...just to see him poop himself*
 

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Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
 
I honestly don't know of the authenticity of it. It could be a joke or not, either way, still creepy to imagine.
 

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Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
 
I think the evidence points to this being one of those infamous "Straight-faced jokes".

They list this under "commentary" yet give no actual commentary...and the "satire ahead" warning is a dead giveaway.

[ April 30, 2005, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: Puffy Treat ]
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
It's not even that straight-faced. I checked the link to make sure it wasn't from the Onion, because it had that....um...flavor. *giggles to self* Ahem.

It's good that it is commentary because I DID laugh at it, especially the part about the schedule taped to the wall.
 

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Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Just look at the post count and posts per day - that's 4 seconds per post.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
It's not even straight-faced. The fact that the article goes on to name specific individuals and make in-jokes -- "let them eat PIE" -- indicates that it was written for the amusement of a specific audience. It's clearly satire.
 

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Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 
Speaking of high post counts...Tom is almost up to 20,000 posts!
 

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Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
 
I was thinking about commenting on that as well, but alas, you beat me to it.

Congrats, Tom.
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
Ahh, TomD....did you catch my reference to you up there?


 

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Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
 
That guy went to my school! They have his picture in the hallway for winning some award.
 

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Posted by prerak (Member # 7923) on :
 
I think every single online message board had SOMEONE post that article in comparison to a member with a ridiculously high post count. I myself got named on one board, but in no way could I match this Tom's legendary feats.

I salute thee, Tom.



Although I need to ask if those post counts are fake. 22K a day? Thats more than one per minute. Thats not possible...
 

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Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
 
The article linked has a "Warning, Satire Ahead" tag.

Thus, it is not to be taken seriously.
 

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Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
 
What I think is scary, is the fact that it was almost plausible enough to believe.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
I feel compelled to point out that while I may have the highest post count of any individual under the same screen name, there are at least two other people here who, by my reckoning, have not only been here less time but passed 20,000 posts some time ago when you take their multiple login names into account.
 

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Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
 
And thus we find that his next post will be 20,000.
 

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Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
 
So the moral that accompanies my low post count is that I have a life?
 

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Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
 
Maybe I've just been hanging around Snopes too long, but I was skeptical from the outset. After reading the article, I was willing to bet it was satire without even following the link.
 

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Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
Probably too much to ask, but I wonder if the people who thought that this was real (or perhaps were only slightly skeptical of it's veracity) could try to post the thoughts they had as they read it. I've a theory (well a couple actually) about why people are so easily fooled by stories like this and it would be interesting to see how they fit here.
 

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Posted by JemmyGrove (Member # 6707) on :
 

quote:

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I feel compelled to point out that while I may have the highest post count of any individual under the same screen name, there are at least two other people here who, by my reckoning, have not only been here less time but passed 20,000 posts some time ago when you take their multiple login names into account.

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Tom!! You're ALIVE!! I was so worried there for a bit ...


 

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Posted by Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged (Member # 7476) on :
 
Wow, Tom is on a major landmark, his 20,000 post.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Wow! That's so close to a major number. Congratulations.
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 
I think its a fake too. no way would any human being be able to post 20k a day. IF it isn't fake, then at least its too exaggerated.
 

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