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She warned me that children who take their imaginary friends seriously and talk to them are in danger from "the occult".

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Umm... no. That's the kind of attitude that saw Harry Potter banned in many places. Danger from the occult... yeesh. Did she say exactly what she thought the 'the occult' was?
 

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Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
The occult?

I'm thinking that's more of a knee-jerk reaction to something overheard on the Jerry Falwell show.

Just as I would recommend with any child, make sure she has plenty of opportunity to socialize with other children.

-Trevor
 

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Posted by Mayfly (Member # 7870) on :
 
Jenny, I remember being told in seventh-grade that there were a whole list of satanic influences in our neighborhood, including rock-and-roll music, drugs, transcendental meditation, and vegetarians.

It finally pushed me over the edge to say "heeyyyy, you don't make any sense."

I think there is no inherent danger to imaginary friends. Should her imagination preclude her from making normal developmental progress in social interaction, then that would be problematic. But that's a different issue, and it wouldn't necessarily be best dealt with by limiting her imaginary play.

Just my personal 2 cents.

--CT

[Er, what Trevor said. *sigh ]

[ May 07, 2005, 08:25 PM: Message edited by: Mayfly ]
 

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Posted by Bella Bee (Member # 7027) on :
 
Well, I think that your mother is over reacting. Imaginary friends are brilliant, (I should know, I had over fifty of them when I was a kid).I know that to watch a child talking to people who aren't there can be creepy, which is why it has been used to such spooky effect in so many films and novels, but I don't believe that imaginary friends have anything to do with the occult or ghosts. They are simply a part of the child's own mind. So I think if someone said something like this to me, I'd be tongue-tied too.
 

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Posted by Olivetta (Member # 6456) on :
 
It's the same kind of thing that had a friend of my mother's telling me that Pokemon was of the devil (not that I disagree, mind you ). Seems it means "pocket monster" which must be evil because it has the word "monster" in it.

It's the same sort of thing that led to my next-door-neighbor kids not being allowed to watch a video with my kids. Seems they saw a PeeWee's Playhouse here, and PeeWee's Playhouse is evil because the actor who played him masturbates. *pretends to faint from shock*

There is a certain subset of religious folk who will only be happy when they have filled the world with the dry, unimaginative joylessness they call religion.

I suggest you smile politely, nod or say something noncommittal like, "I see" and change the subject.

[ May 07, 2005, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: Olivetta ]
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Actually, I'm guilty of being delighted with the fairy friends. I've bought her fairy dust for the fairy's wings. I have a big imagination too, so sometimes I find MYSELF talking to this little fae who looks after my daughter.

It's just disturbing that something my daughter and I find precious is a bad thing to my own mom.
 

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Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
I didn't want to ask if your mom is aware of your free spiritedness.

-Trevor
 

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Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
 
I can remember a friend of my moms tattling on me to her about my "secret" friend. She apparently thought my mom would be appropriatly shocked and appalled, and take immediate corrective action. My mom laughed at her. But this woman wouldnt let it go, saying I was probably talking to demons, and if they talked back to me, who knows what could happen. Maybe that was what your mom was thinking about. That your daughter was opening herself up to seriously bad things. My mom ended up telling her it was none of her business, but they werent friends after that. And her daughter wasnt allowed to talk to me anymore. She was really convinced that I would demonize her daughter too. People can be really ignorant.
But, maybe you should take the time to talk to your mom seriously about it. Try to alleviate her fears for your daughter, and convince her that an imaginary friend is a healthy sign of a great imagination.
If she doesnt listen to you, though, I would make sure she knows not to talk to your daughter about it. There are few things more traumatizing to a kid with an active imagination than being convinced your secret buddy is really a demon in disguise. Believe me, I know!
 

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Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
 
I feel sad for your mom.

On another note, my son's imaginary friend Guancho is very annoying and always getting into trouble. Christopher is always scolding him for hitting people or saying bad words. (Christopher's not using Guancho to get out of trouble--all of Guancho's bad behavior is as imaginary as he is)

Wretched Guancho!
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Actually, the child and I had a talk about how open she should be about her fairies around grandma. I sympathized, and we talked about how some people aren't comfortable with imaginary friends. My little girl cried, sorrowful because her grandma would think her fairy was evil. It made me a little mad, but sorrowful too. After all, much of my childhood imagination was kept hidden because of my mom's obsessive worries about the occult.
 

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Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
 
Doing some research, I found that children often use imaginary friends to deal with ideas/issues that they are wrestling with. Sounds like Guancho is helping your kid understand what appropriate and inappropriate behavior is!
 

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Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
 
Jenny, that makes me feel better about Guancho--the wretch! hehe Thanks.

Sounds like your kid is way compassionate. Good on you!
 

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Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
 
It seems to me, Grandma is the one who needs to be talked to. Tell her how upset your daughter was and how Grandma made her cry.

Then tell her that imaginary friends aren't the lure to the occult. "If they were, my imaginary friend would have led me to it years ago."

I hate mean grandmas.
 

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Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
You can't teach an old Grandma new tricks.

And she is, in her own way, worried about her grandchild.

Smile, nod and don't take it to heart.

-Trevor
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
I'd only worry if it was one of the unseelie fay...
The Sidhe
Or probably one of the Sluah. Fear them!
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Tell your mother that if she does anything to wig your daughter out about this, she might end up having to have an imaginary grandmother.
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Ooh, Jenny, read "The Icarus Girl."

There is a bad imaginary friend in that novel, but boy is it good!

(Totally aside from your daughter's situation, your title just reminded me of it)
 

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Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
 
Bob, I was thinking that, but didn't say it. I'm already anti-social enough. I deleted the part of my post where I suggested that if granny couldn't deal with it, she could. . . leave. Yeah, leave is a good word for it.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I've seen this kind of thing too many times. Basically, people need to get a little perspective. Happy, bright, creative kid = good kid. Some people will FIND something to worry about, and manufacture something if they don't find something real.

(okay, I admit it, I'm like that)...

But the parents are doing a good job if the kid is doing well. Give it a rest, grandma!!!

Sheesh!

 

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Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
 
We need good ol' Drop Dead Fred around here . . .
 

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Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
I'm suppressing my knee-jerk reaction because it's rather unkind.

I will say that Heather (my 11 year old) had an imaginary friend for about 5 years. She is extremely intelligent for her age according to her teachers (something I of course knew all along but I'm biased LOL) and shows no signs of mental instability or obsession with the occult or anything like that. The child is currently reading HHGTTG!

I went through several imaginary friends myself. In fact, I still have conversations with myself as if I were speaking to another person. Sometimes completely internal, occassionally out loud. My coworkers laugh and say that as long as I don't argue with myself, they aren't concerned.

I would try and discuss your mother's concerns with her and find out where she came up with this idea. Perhaps by determining the source, you can find a way to dispute the claims.
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Interesting. I do the same thing GS. You just made me feel a little less insane... Cool.
 

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Posted by Eruve Nandiriel (Member # 5677) on :
 
I had imaginary pets.

I had a few imaginary friends too, but they didn't stay very long. Apparently they didn't like me or something.
 

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Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
 
I speak out loud to my body, because it doesn't always listen to my mind well enough.

"Feet, lift. Now heart, pump."
 

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Posted by Stark (Member # 6831) on :
 
It seems to me that these superstitious adults have bigger imagination problems than the children.

Demons? The occult? yeesh
 

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Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
Glad to help, Syn
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
My mother believed that white sugar and white flour were communist plots to take over the world.
 

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Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
 

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Imaginary friends are brilliant, (I should know, I had over fifty of them when I was a kid)

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do you all not keep in touch now?

Maybe your mother read "Lost Boys" by Card, and got some how confused. Still none of the imaginary friends i know of are very into the occult, I beleive it was Tatiana who said her mother thinks of all her online freinds as imaginary.
 

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Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 

quote:

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My mother believed that white sugar and white flour were communist plots to take over the world.

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Ridiculous. Everybody knows that those are capitalist plots to oppress the poor workers and peasants.
 

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Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
 
yes, it is obviously jello that is a communist plot.
 

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Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
 
Sort of reminds me of something I read in James Thurber years ago, in which he said his mother was convinced that electricity leaked out of electrical outlets and into the house.

I don't think imaginary friends are harmful at all in a normal, healthy child. They are quite normal. My daughter had one, too.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Jenny, aren't you openly pagan? If so, isn't your daughter -- by definition -- in danger from "the occult," from your mom's POV?
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
You all know I'm one of the conservative Christian people on the board, and yet I had imaginary friends and two of my four children did and I don't think it's anything unnatural or anything to be concerned with. I think your mom is going a little overboard.

Treat her with love and understanding, but don't try to stifle the creativity and imagination of your precious daughter.
 

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Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
 
Buy her a book of Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. That'll show her.
 

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Posted by Orson Scott Card (Member # 209) on :
 
I think the worried mother is right. I AM the imaginary friend of little Scotty Card. I have taken over and have been running his life since 1964, while he continues to exist inside me, screaming and screaming to get out. But I will never let even a glimpse of him appear. He is not clever enough to get past ME.

[ May 08, 2005, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: Orson Scott Card ]
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 
So getting possessed by a demonic imaginary friend is what it takes to grow up into a successful author? Dang it, I knew there had to be a catch!

--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
Explains a great deal about the books though.

-Trevor
 

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Posted by Melissa Dedinová (Member # 7890) on :
 
Haven't you people seen The Shining??

Even without mentioning Lost Boys, which has been mentioned, I think grandmother is right to be concerned.


 

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Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
 
If Jenny doesn't do anything about her daughter's imaginary friend, I want an autographed first edition of her very first book.

-Trevor
 

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Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
Oooh, Tom, good point!

I think it's good and healthy. Livvie has fey that she talks to. They live in the raspberry canes (actually, Brian and I talk to them too. But they don't answer us ) But neither of the boys have them, so I think it's just personality.
 

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Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
 
Hm. Since, by Tatiana's classification, ya'll are imaginary friends, any Jatraqueros willing to take over my mind? I want to pop out a bestseller.
 

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Posted by Schadenfreude (Member # 7983) on :
 
For children it's pretty harmless, it's deep emotional attatchment to these friends that might show problems. If the child seems to prefer imaginary friends to real ones then you might want to try and ween her of these friends... but it's really up to you.
 

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Posted by Schadenfreude (Member # 7983) on :
 
For children it's pretty harmless, it's deep emotional attatchment to these friends that might show problems. If the child seems to prefer imaginary friends to real ones then you might want to try and ween her of these friends... but it's really up to you.
 

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