Tatiana and I were recently shown, by a fellow hatracker, a site advertising the sale of Holy Bottled Water. The three of us thaught it might have been mentioned already here, but i couldn't find it, so I'm starting a thread for it.
I especially liked the Frequently asked queastions. I'm just waiting for them to combine this with the Dante's inferno quiz to determine how many bottles you need to drink.
So, anyone else feeling thirsty?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
If you buy two cases, you get a free bottle of "wash your sins away" hand soap! It's proven effective against all seven deadly sins.
Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
except maybe gluttony, i mean with buying all that water.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Oh, they sell those all over the place here. Water from the Jordan River.
My favorites are the bottled Middle Eastern air, and the bottled Egyptian darkness, which I've seen on sale in select places in Israel.
(Not kidding)
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Actually, I know you can buy a set: a small bottle of holy water, a bottle of holy air, and a bottle of holy dirt.
The darkness comes separately, I guess.
Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
how do you bottle darkness?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I'm not sure... but I've seen them sell dark bottles labelled "Darkness from Egypt" so they must have some way of doing that. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*amused* Bottling holiness you don't question, but bottling darkness seems problematic?
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
Maybe you buy it, and then throw it into the Nile to get rid of the plague once and for all? Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
well ofcourse, i have seen the hand cleanser myself, and would such a cheerful nun lie to you?
Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
Also I am Catholic, where whine becomes the blood of God, I have seen holiness bottled for years.
Really the holiness that is part of any number of tangible objects seems to be a large part of the Catholic faith, and other faiths as well I'm sure.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
I think the bottled holiness in this country is targeted mainly towards tourists (mostly Americans), but I guess it could target on a religious basis as well.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Raia, if it's targeting anyone other than tourists, then someone is selling snake oil.
In bottles. Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
Actually, it's quite easy to make your own Holy Water (if you are Pagan). Put a bit of salt in a bowl, and mix it with water. Leave the water out in the night sometime under a full moon, to make Moon Water. Leave it out in the sun, to make Sun Water. Leave it out under a rainbow to make the most magical water of all! Oh, and it helps to put nice-smelling essential oils in it.
Then you put it in a spray bottle and spritz it where needed. Good for cleansing, banishing evil, and generally lifting your spirits!
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Jenny, we SOOOOOOOO have to have lunch sometime! Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Oh, and bottling darkness is pretty easy, too. All you need is a well stoppered opaque bottle. Go into a dark room, open the bottle, it will fill with darkness. Recap the bottle and the darkness will remain inside until the cap is removed.
You have to take all this on faith, though, because if you remove the cap to check the contents, the darkness will evaporate immediately.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*shakes head* It doesn't evaporate, exactly. But Me'at or docheh harbeh choshech -- "a little bit of light pushes away much darkness." Darkness flees light.
Posted by Jenny Gardener (Member # 903) on :
I wonder if a bottle of Darkness could be as effective, in an opposite fashion, as Galadriel's bottled starlight in LOTR.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Of course I was using "evaporate" in a poetic sense. Posted by Talison (Member # 7935) on :
Surely there has to be more to bottling darkness then that
I mean, if it was that easy, why aren't we all Bottled Darkness vendors?
I wonder how much you can get per bottle..
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Even if there is one born every minute, there is still a finite number of suckers. And there are so many ventures to be suckered into I'm sure the pool of Bottled Darkness purchasers is fairly small.
Also, the pool of purchasers of "Bottled Darkness of Detroit" is probably even smaller.
Posted by Amanecer (Member # 4068) on :
That site reminds me of a time several years ago when I walked into my little sister's room and saw her and her friend sprinkling water on their beanie babies. I asked what they were doing, and they said they were baptizing them with Holy Water. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
<sniffs> I hardly think it's respectful of those of us who believe in the baptism of beanie babies (after they reach the age of accountability, of course) to roll on the floor laughing about it. I suppose you let your beanie babies die all unshriven? That's so sad!
And how sad, too, for all beanies that they can only be sprinkled! But what can we do? The manufacturer's tag forbids immersion!
Posted by Amanecer (Member # 4068) on :
LOL!!
That's awesome Tatiana! And I stand by my irreverent mockery of the Holy Beanie Baby faith. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
If you want to check to see if you really have bought bottled Darkness, you need only go in a totally dark room to check. However, if it's Egyptian Darkness, be warned that some mixing may occur between the domestic and imported Darkness.
quote:Also I am Catholic, where whine becomes the blood of God,
Why is my daughter not covered in blood?
Posted by Bean Counter (Member # 6001) on :
I think I saw this on Buffy one season. You need a good deal of holy water in her line of work.
BC
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
quote: some mixing may occur between the domestic and imported Darkness.
That can't be good!
I wonder what the customs people think of importing darkness? Is it tax and duty free?
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Why is my daughter not covered in blood?