Hatrack River Forum: New column: Getting a tune-up at the celebrity body shop

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Getting a tune-up at the celebrity body shop

Apparently women want Jessica Simpson's hair. Not for some sensible reason, like for a wall trophy or as an ingredient for one of the more interesting rituals, but because they like her best.

In a new poll perpetrated by In Touch magazine, readers picked "Dukes of Hazzard" star and professional newlywed Jessica Simpson over runners-up Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, and Angelina Jolie for most coveted do. This is despite the fact that her usual hair style reminds me of nothing so much as a Barbie that has been picked up and violently shaken, possibly by a Labrador.

The people have spoken and I respect the democratic process. However, this article kicked off an entertaining conversation between my wife and me as to what celebrity parts I personally might wish to have. Instead of my own, I mean.

Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :

Yay! It's Wednesday!

Great column. [Smile]

Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :

Awesome concept.

I, too, have contemplated visiting the celebrity body shop.

Posted by imenimok (Member # 7679) on :

quote:
eat corn on the cob without going side-to-side

*snort*

Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

That was great!

Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :

Love the way you ended that one - almost too precious, then right back to funny. [Big Grin]

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Teresa ultimately decided she'd keep most of her own attributes, but she'd like to move them up a bit.

I chose to keep my own personal bits, as that would get too weird and because I've decided to claim contentment.

Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :

Oh yes, Spike.

Spike's snark. And his cheekbones. Both are much better buys than his abs.

Although, you know, the abs are nice too.

*checks watch* I'm late for Buffy!

Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :

Eh, I'm sorry, but it's not your best work. The concept is worth maybe a paragraph; I don't think it stretches to a whole column. By the time you've got to eyes, you've made the point that this is a stupid way to think; we don't need it belaboured further, so it reads rather like an actual shopping list of how you'd like to look - undermining your whole point.

Better luck next week.

Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :

Come on, I think this is worth a photoshop attempt at seeing what he'd actually look like [Smile]

Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :

Actually my point, if there was one, was that Teres and I have great dinner conversations, the kind that involve loud giggling, hand gestures, and angry stares from other diners. This was pretty much a transcript.

Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :

lol

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

[ROFL]

This

quote:
Groucho's romance

is one of the reasons why Chris and Theres are such a great couple -- because he actively pursues a Groucho-like romance and because Theres values that.

[Big Grin]

I could almost hear you guys doing this. Too much fun!