Post a comment or question said or heard by you today that you figure no one else on the forum has heard today.
My entry:
"We don't throw hand grenades on our sisters."
Posted by Minerva (Member # 2991) on :
"I hope you are in the bathroom all day -- that's how mad I am at you." -A brother and sister fighting at the fireworks
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
"You are part of a rebel wasp alliance and a traitor" -my brother after I refused to join with him in his war against the wasps out by our pool.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
"Aww, c'mon. Give the guy a break. If you had a bunch of screws screwed into your head, you'd be crabby, too." (one nurse talking to another)
Posted by dawnmaria (Member # 4142) on :
"Leslie! Vegas rules! What falls on the floor now stays on the floor!" Me to my baby in her highchair after playing one too many rounds of the drop it game!
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
"Why won't the market reports come up?" Me wailing at my computer, because I need the reports from the equities, currencies, and capital markets in order to finish my work for the day.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Translations of Categories for admission to the Great Wall of China: Students Adults The Old
- as told by my boss who was in China last week
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
"I wonder if President Bush's stand on stem cell research would be so strong if it wasn't a threat to the pharmecutical industry."
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
"No, you cannot wash your lightsaber" (Me, to the birthday boy, when he tried to submerge his new toy).
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
"So did you get a funny hat with that?" said to a guy wearing a "Shriner's Hospital" tshirt.
Later in the discussion, which covered the name change of the hospitals, there was this:
"A lot of middle-class and upper-income white people just get annoyed because we don't have any "in-group" names for ourselves. Me, I just figure it's the natural downside to having never been oppressed."
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Me shouting from the basement to my father: "DAD! Where you do keep your balls!?" in reference for the set of bocce balls he claimed were down there.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
"Yes, it's G minor. I said Gb minor because, apparently, I'm on drugs."
Said by me, to my class about a dictation this morning.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
mack said:
quote:Me shouting from the basement to my father: "DAD! Where you do keep your balls!?"
Am I the only one who imagined her father slapping his forehead and saying...
"D'oh! I forgot. Your mother took them."
(OK, it was probably just me.)
Posted by Haloed Silhouette (Member # 8062) on :
"I have been trained with sticks" - myself to my father.
"So have dogs; would you like a rubber bone to gnaw on?" - his reply.
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
"What if we had two Dani's?"
Posted by Lanfear (Member # 7776) on :
(We were driving in the car and i was sitting with my little 6 year old brother)
"Dang it, I lost cell phone service. What can i do without cellphone service"
"I still have gameboy service.." my little brother replied happily
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
"I have the Madness in my head" - my friend about a song stuck in her head
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
I didn't hear this today, but once, while sitting on my porch, I heard a woman screaming at her husband.
"I know you're lying. I found a receipt for condoms! We don't use condoms!"
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
quote: mack said:
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me shouting from the basement to my father: "DAD! Where you do keep your balls!?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Am I the only one who imagined her father slapping his forehead and saying...
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Mom, I have to poop, so make it quick"
My son, giving me a hug when I got home.
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
My 4 year old daughter responding to my rhetorical question :
"How can they get rid of the fillibuster?"
with
"Daddy, if they leave it alone it will just go away by itself."
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
Wisdom from the mouths of babes...
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
The follow-up was even better though, because I asked why it would go away and she said that maybe it would get hungry or thirsty if it was left alone, and might go to McDonalds for chicken nuggets.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
"Gee, you think you could have picked a worse moment for that candid disclosure, Captain Timing?"
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
"I would kill myself if I had to take a dictation in Gb minor." Me to myself after I read Megan's post above.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
"I'm telling her you'll leave the head of a bookworm on her pillow if she doesn't return the books." - my boss emailing someone who has overdue library books to the library section of our office (i'm the library godfather...(or to be more correct godmother))
Posted by ReikoDemosthenes (Member # 6218) on :
"Ew! You're not allowed to do that until you know each other's names!" - my sister, reading Les Mis
Posted by Humean316 (Member # 8175) on :
"Dad, kill the junebug!" "Ok son, get the shotgun"
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
"You shouldn't drink vodka alone." "I'm not drinking vodka alone." "Who's there with you?" "My cookies."
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
"Where's your place?" "It's next to Jalal's joint." "Jalal's joint? You're making Jalal Talabani's place sound like a burger & kabob diner..."
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
FlyingCow--that's good stuff.
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
Okay, a quote from a story a fellow teacher told me about why he got in trouble last year:
"That's okay. If you feel that strongly, you can read and write about a book other than Harry Potter. Just bring in a note from your parents..." (he said he paused here while better judgement failed him) "...and while you're at it, bring in a list of all the other books you find offensive. We can pile them all in the middle of the room and set them on fire."
Posted by Chungwa (Member # 6421) on :
In the car, about 10 minutes after we left Safeway. There was silence for atleast 3 minutes before this statement.
"It's not so much the bagels as it is the cream cheese!" -My dad
I know better than the ask my dad what the heck he's talking about.
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
"Cats aren't children, and welfare doesn't support them."
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
"You wouldn't hit a haircut down, would you?" -- The ever-confused Whitney
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
"They put your ear on your nose?!?"
My daughter Abigail to my mom, who had surgery today - she had a cancerous lesion on her nose, and when it was removed they took some cartilage from her ear to help reconstruct her nose. Abigail was completely flabbergasted at the idea.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
"I do not need a rabbit on my stereo."
Me to Bernie today.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Gril #1: "You mean it's going to take four of us for you to get inside that womans crotch?"
A conversation at work when I told the NA's that I needed to cath a particularly strong resident.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
Uh ...
WHAT?
Posted by pink (Member # 8048) on :
Do you really want to explain that? If so, read on I suppose.
We have a resident who is badly declining d/t the fact that she will not eat, and in my mind, has just given up. If she doesn't void (urinate) within 16 hours, she has to be cath'd. (Meaning I stick a rubber straw like tube into her bladder, and drain it) Did I fail to mention that she's a nun? A very conservative nun. One that you KNOW went into the ministry early in her life, and took her vows before she actually went through the process. She's a little fiesty when it comes to something being stuck up inside of her. It take three nurse aide's to hold her arms and legs, and me to do the procedure.
Any further explanation necessary?
[ July 08, 2005, 08:29 AM: Message edited by: pink ]
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
"Yes, this is real-time, and no, we can't move it to look at your house."
Posted by HRE (Member # 6263) on :
"So fear is a really good motivator, huh?"
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
"There's no way that thing's going to fit into a hole that small..."
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
"How big is it?"
"It's big...well I remember it being big."
"It's not nearly that big."
"I remember it being bigger. It took so long that I thought it was..."
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
"Stop staying up thinking about how sexy Dir en grey is and maybe you won't be so tired."
"You don't know Hindi, you just like the way it sounds when it's sung."
"There's some sort of genetic thing in people blocking out the thought of what parents had to do to get you. We'd rather just think the stork bought us or we came from cabbages."
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
"Most guys can't get away with wearing yellow pants."
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
Guy to girl: "Let's go straight."
Girl's reply: "Why?"
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
"He's just grumpy." "Well, that's a big change from dopey."
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
"The trash can is taking a shower." "That's not the first shower that trash can has taken..."
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
"She's blowdrying my butt!" "Careful, or I'll diffuse your ass!"
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
quote: "That's okay. If you feel that strongly, you can read and write about a book other than Harry Potter. Just bring in a note from your parents..." (he said he paused here while better judgement failed him) "...and while you're at it, bring in a list of all the other books you find offensive. We can pile them all in the middle of the room and set them on fire."
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
"The guy said he could turn me on earlier today, just over the phone. I don't understand how the guy could turn me on over the phone, and now here you are saying we need a tech to come and turn me on.... So how long will it be until you turn me on?"
Whats sad is this isn't the only case of things like this.
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
"This will only take a minute, I just need to crawl under your desk."
Posted by TheHumanTarget (Member # 7129) on :
I love listening to some of our I.T. administrators:
"Everybody's going down. I was working on Heather and she went down, so I moved on to Peg and she went down too."
Posted by Miriam (Member # 8351) on :
"Daddy, Mommy won't let any of us go downstairs. She almost got electrocuted by the grill"
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