Despite the words on the box, the new Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tarts are not "exceptionally delicious frozen". They are, in fact, supremely mediocre, and they are so sweet it was actually a little bit sickening.
That is all.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
It's sad when their innocence is stolen. Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Have you seen the latest op-ed in The Onion regarding the abuse of the word "crunch-tastic?"
Posted by Hamson (Member # 7808) on :
no?
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Serves you right for eating pop tarts in the first place. American sweets are sugary to the point of nausea; you should avoid them at all costs.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
quote:Serves you right for eating pop tarts in the first place.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Ugh. Pop tarts.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Strawberry Milkshake? Is that flavor good?
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
It's all about dark chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Endless amounts of extreme chocolate and not too sweet.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Plus, everyone knows you gotta toast your tarts so they're crunchy. Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
quote:Strawberry Milkshake? Is that flavor good?
In my opinion, no. I have now tried them frozen, toasted, and at room temperature, and they seem to be at their best at room temperature. Not that that's saying much.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Never had pop tarts. They seem revoltingly sweet.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: Plus, everyone knows you gotta toast your tarts so they're crunchy.
Actually, crunchiness isn't something I look for in my tarts. I prefer 'em moist.
...
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
If you were English... That would be slightly vulgar...
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Jebus is Irish, which is like being English without the money or self-respect. *ducks*
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Hey, I thought it was like being English, but without the stick up the butt or the natty clothes.
Hmm.
Posted by ailurophobic (Member # 8343) on :
"It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the f--king Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete a--holes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any f--king difference!"
-Trainspotting
At least you're not Scottish.
Posted by digging_holes (Member # 6237) on :
I didn't think it was like being english at all. I just thought Irish was a synonym for "insane people with incomprehensible accents."
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Isn't that like being English?
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
All black people (rich or poor) are criminals and they're usually unwashed.
::twiddles fingers::
Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
Potato eater.
Posted by Papa Janitor (Member # 7795) on :
Interesting variation on Ender's "Hey, we can't all be n*****s" comment, Jebus. I appreciate you reminding us all that racism comes in many forms, regardless of the race, whether or not it's a quotation, includes a specific epithet, or is followed by a wink.
[Edit -- even to make a point, I'm uncomfortable using that word. Hope nobody else was too offended.]
[ July 10, 2005, 11:09 PM: Message edited by: Papa Janitor ]
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
It's worth noting that my wink hopefully denoted the fact that I was poking Jebus, not actually insulting the Irish.
As Christy and I liked Ireland -- and its people -- enough to seriously contemplate moving there, and ultimately decided not to primarily because we didn't want to inflict our hopelessly American selves on an unsuspecting country, and as we've said as much on this forum, I didn't feel it was necessary to explicitly indicate that I in reality hold the Irish in high regard.
I am perfectly willing to play Devil's Advocate if the joke is good. *grin*
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
There is a certain irony in that the poster who basically has defined himself as a poster of sarcastic comments didn't catch that all the comments weren't at all serious, heh.
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
What I find fascinating is that you guys took a thread that was meant as a meaningless fluff piece on Pop Tarts and turned it into an exchange of racist remarks. I knew Ratraquenhos had a talent for derailing threads, but wow! Did not see this coming.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
And I am just mad because I was going to make a naughty allusion to toasted tarts, and then Jebus beat me to it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
By the way, Verily the Younger, I think it is quite rude of you to refer to Pop as a tart. Sheesh.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: What I find fascinating is that you guys took a thread that was meant as a meaningless fluff piece on Pop Tarts and turned it into an exchange of racist remarks.
Posted by ChaosTheory (Member # 7069) on :
What's wrong with being Scottish? *picks up brick*
I hate poptarts with an intense passion, they're always waaaay to sweet and dry. Give me eggs and bacon for breakfast anytime.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
quote:There is a certain irony in that the poster who basically has defined himself as a poster of sarcastic comments didn't catch that all the comments weren't at all serious, heh.
I did absolutely catch that fact, since I know Tom and digging well enough. And even if I didn't the comments only made me laugh anyway.
What I was doing, was making the generic racist comment (I hate Black people) to see if that would bring intervention from Pops. I just find the it interesting that a joking comment about Irish people will offend no one, but a joking comment about Black people is bound to offend someone (usually someone who is actually not black). Call it some kind of anthropology experiment and pretend I'm smart.
Or maybe it's jsut a big cover up for how hurt my feelings were. ::shrugs::
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Pop tarts-- blech. They're only good if you have pancakes and eggs and bacon to eat instead.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Eww... I hate poptarts. They so cardboardy and make me sick to my stomach every time I try to eat em. Eggo Waffles are so much better if you're gonna eat packaged crap for breakfast. But if I'm gonna choose... homemade eggs, cheese and bacon sandwich on a biscuit or english muffin. *rubs tummy* delicious.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:Pop tarts-- blech. They're only good if you have pancakes and eggs and bacon to eat instead.
*laugh*
I have never had a pop tart. Should I put it on the List of Life Experiences To Try Someday? Above making my own face cleanser, but below lobster trawling.
Posted by Papa Janitor (Member # 7795) on :
Actually, Jebus, my statement above didn't include any sarcasm toward you. It was the Irish/English/Scottish comments I considered out of line, and though you pointed out what I would have in a different way, I thought you handled it rather deftly.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
Well then, kudos to you , but in all seriousness the Irish/English/Scottish comments weren't really that out of line and should be accepted. I was really just trying to touch on the sensitivies of people towards other races which are visibly different (such as black people).
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: I did absolutely catch that fact, since I know Tom and digging well enough. And even if I didn't the comments only made me laugh anyway.
Well, I guess you can still hang with the cool kids, then. Just make sure you bring enough tarts for everyone. Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
...That's gross, you're like 40 or something... ewww.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Not quite 40, but so what?
Thinking about it, I suspect that you're used to the way Irishmen age. I'm sure after a decade or two of trundling bundles of rocks to and fro for your English overlords, you guys tend to age at three times the rate those of us in first world countries do. I mean, at 36 I can look forward to at least another three decades of being frisky, where I guess your average Irishman at 36 would be looking for the best place to hide his stash of Guinness before he keeled over.
(Note to the sarcasm impaired, above is not for real. It's a lark, poking fun, pulling jebuseses leg, goofing, etc., and does not reflect true feelings of poster.)
[ July 11, 2005, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: Storm Saxon ]
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
All I'm saying is that anyone who lives past 30 is clearly a lazy sh*t. Unions are for pussies.
(WOW I REPLACED THE I WITH AN ASTERIX, NOW IT'S NO LONGER OFFENSIVE YAAAAAAAYY)
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Storm Saxon, Jebus must be too young to realize the effect older men have on women. Too bad, that.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: All I'm saying is that anyone who lives past 30 is clearly a lazy sh*t. Unions are for pussies.
I think I speak for all right thinking people the world over when I say, wtf? :lol:
Elizabeth, yeah... I mean, yeah! Now that I'm 36, I have to shoo women away! All the time! 24 hours a day!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well, I am thinking more when you are 46, so give it some time!
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
*nods* 46 year old guys are definitely hot.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Well, I guess if you douse them with lighter fluid and set them on fire....
Posted by Verily the Younger (Member # 6705) on :
Great. So I only have to wait 22 more years to get a woman. That's a comfort. Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
'Your portfolio! It's so big! I never knew a man could get one like that!'
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
What I tell my frinds who are older and who have not met a "mate" yet is this: No problem, there's a new crop of divorcees coming in. They are handsome, they have learned from their mistakes, and they are already completely at peace with who they are.
Posted by The Reader (Member # 3636) on :
quote:What I tell my frinds who are older and who have not met a "mate" yet is this: No problem, there's a new crop of divorcees coming in. They are handsome, they have learned from their mistakes, and they are already completely at peace with who they are.
And they have had plenty of experience with effete English frozen Pop Tarts.
I prefer to put butter on pop tarts, but only on the ones without iceing. It really takes down the sweetness. I don't eat them very often though, so I'm won't be at risk for heart disease by the time I'm 25.
Posted by scottneb (Member # 676) on :
quote:Great. So I only have to wait 22 more years to get a woman. That's a comfort.
...and no, I'm not laughing with you.
Posted by jebus202 (Member # 2524) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon:
quote: All I'm saying is that anyone who lives past 30 is clearly a lazy sh*t. Unions are for pussies.
I think I speak for all right thinking people the world over when I say, wtf? :lol:
Erm, I was going along with your joke.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
*prepares to send Katie a pop tart*
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
jebus,
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Poptarts are like sugar coated cardboard except worse because if they were sugar coated cardboard I could eat them without distroying the linings of my intestines. As it is, they are not made of pure sugar or even pure cardboard but they contain enough wheat proteins to destroy my body (which is not nearly enough wheat protein to provide adequate nutrition for a tick).
There are worse things than Pop Tarts, I just can't think of any right now.
Oh, wait a minute -- there are Oreo cookies but at least they don't pretend to be anything but a sugar hit.
Posted by The Reader (Member # 3636) on :
quote:Oh, wait a minute -- there are Oreo cookies but at least they don't pretend to be anything but a sugar hit.
Unless you drink milk with them. (me showing a wad of chewed up cookies) Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
So now it is about AGE discrimination? lol
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Oh Oreos are wonderful, especially when deep fried. Oh so delicious. sigh
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*ducks*
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