I must tell you, as a screenwriter, death looks friggin' sweet from where I am sitting. I cannot think of an industry that has been more screwed and destroyed by the people who run it, and the people who pay money to purchase the produced products.
Fantastic Four was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I am madly in love with the physical form of Jessica Alba (her beauty alone could be used as one of the millions of Proofs of God), but after about five minutes this movie was total torture.
My FAVORITE worst moment of the MANY worst moments in this horrid, horrid, horrid movie was the "fight" between the Thing and Johnny Storm, as they fought in a CIRCLE OF PRODUCT PLACEMENT BILLBOARDS.
I rightly expected Wayne and Garth to walk by look at Jessica Alba and go "shhhhhwing!".
I read somewhere that 60 different products ponied up cash to have their crap associated with the fantastic four movie.
Jeeze. This is Modern American Capitalism.
I get commercials BEFORE the movie and DURING the movie.
Dr. Doom was a dork and a Joke, but I consider Ben Grimm/ the thing to be the TRUE villian of this film.
He was nothing but a whiny, whiny, whiny, whiner.
Oh man. This move was DREADFUL in so many ways. The Lataviean "Humanitarian of the year award" Dr. DOOM mask was icing on the cake.
So here we have another $200 million dollar American Turd.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Thor, it is a good thing no one really cares about your opinion.
I liked it, as did JenniK. Ben Grimm was done well, although there were some issues, like him turning down a cure at the end.
Not that anyone should care much about what I like either...
[ July 12, 2005, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: Kwea ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
quote: Thor, it is a good thing no one really cares about your opinion.
Wow. Thats some cold sh**.
[ July 13, 2005, 01:34 PM: Message edited by: Papa Janitor ]
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
It doesn't look good to me. I won't be bothering to go see it.
My father has a theory that the more advertising yoiu see for a movie, the more likely it's garbage, because the producers know they won't have repeat business or much business after the word of mouth gets out, so they're counting on the opening weekend as their primary source of revenue. This movie is getting pushed so ridiculously that his thoughts ring kind of true to me.
-o-
Worst movie of the year, though . . . . didn't The Grudge come out this year? That's one of the five worst movies of all time, for sure.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
quote: Wow. Thats some cold sh**.
HAHAHA! It's funny because that's the exact same thing I thought when I read it. I said out loud, "Wow! Ouch."
I'm not going to be bothered to see this movie. I never thought it looked good.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Thor, I also said no one should care what I think about it either...
It was fair. Not great, not as good as most of the superhero movies have been, but it wasn't bad. I know a little bit about the history of the FF, and there WERE some mahor changes, but some of them were good. Some weren't, but I could see why they changed them. And some of the changes were simply real (well, sorta real ) events, but the timeline was really compressed.
I thought the Human Torch was perfect as a cocky, arrogant young kid. I thought he was one of the best things about it.
I just don't think it was one of the worst movies...there have been some really bad ones, after all. Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I also have no interest in seeing it.
It has looked pretty lame from the start.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Depends on whether you define bad as the worst entertainment experience or the worst in temrs of the constant barrage of advertisement for months and then sitting through a steaming pile poo that offers more adds than action or character and the only redeeming feature just happens to be able to turn *invisible*. I mean, that's just adding insult to injury here.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Joe, I think The Grudge came out last year.
Personally, I lost all potential interest in The Fantastic Four when I heard that they were having to go back and revamp the movie after The Incredibles came out. If the ripoff cartoon (not that I didn't enjoy it) makes the "real" version look lame, what does that say?
Posted by Foust (Member # 3043) on :
quote:Worst movie of the year, though . . . . didn't The Grudge come out this year? That's one of the five worst movies of all time, for sure.
You're kidding? Surely The Grudge was a perfect* movie.
*Perfect in the sense of "adequate for a given task." The Grudges' task was to make people go wee wee in their pants - and it did a fantastic job of that.
You seriously didn't enjoy it?
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
quote: and the only redeeming feature just happens to be able to turn *invisible*. I mean, that's just adding insult to injury here.
LOL
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
There's some swearing here, but it's a good behind the scenes look at the Fantastic Four.
--Enigmatic (Or not.)
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Foust, I can't decide if it's number one or number two on my list. It certainly knocked Event Horizon off of the coveted "Worst Horror Movie Ever" spot.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I thought Event Horizon had the same problem as The Mouth of Madness: They start out with a spooky mystery with a lot of unknowns, and then go methodically explain everything so by the end you just go "Oh, okay" and aren't scared at all.
I think anytime you say "worst movie ever" though you need some sort of * for "that actually had a decent budget" or "that I saw while it was in the theater" because there's thousands of crappy MST3k-level movies out there that are much, much worse.
Worst movie I saw in theaters: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Don't even ask. Worst movie I've seen that had an all-star cast: Ready to Wear (Pret a Porter).
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
But I think the achievement of suckiness of a movie like Event Horizon or The Grudge or Kill Castro is more impressive because they had so much money behind them and so many people who should have known better involved.
Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :
My sister loved it so I have resigned myself to loving it as well. It looks dreadful, but if she says it's good, it probably is.
I have a *diamonds in the rough* perspective when it comes to many movies.
Example off the top of my head? I think 'Wild Things' is a masterpiece. And I say that totally without irony. I love that movie, I think it's a genius-level movie.
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
It currently clocks in at a 6.1 on imdb.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
25% on Rotten Tomatoes.
I'm pretty sure that's even worse than The Haunted Mansion. Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
Worst movie I ever paid money to see in the theater: Ishtar.
And believe me, the original Fantastic Four movie (you can get it on video tape out there) is possibly the VERY worst superhero flick ever made.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I saw Ishtar in the theater.
I have seen worse in the theater.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Worse than Event Horizon? Dude, that's harsh.
Posted by PUNJABEE (Member # 7359) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sopwith: Worst movie I ever paid money to see in the theater: Ishtar.
I dunno. I honestly think it's become chic to hate on Ishtar. 90% of the world hasn't seen it and hates it because it's ALWAYS talked about by everyone as being such a crappy movie. Yeah, it bombed at the box office. So what? Family Guy was cancelled because the critics (who are usually morons anyway) didn't like it, and then guess what. Highest selling DVD box sets of that year, and now Family Guy is back on Fox.
I used to hate it [Ishtar] until I actually watched it. There are some seriously quotable lines in the movie, as well as some really funny scenes. Yeah it's not 'Spies Like Us' or 'Three Amigos' good, but it's still a funny movie. If you didn't think the absurdness of the songs in the movie weren't sheer genius, then you probably don't have a properly working sense of humor.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
You thought Three Amigos was good?!
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
If it isn't one eights as good as the Incredibles was, it's not worth watching. Even if there are BABES.
Posted by PUNJABEE (Member # 7359) on :
quote:Originally posted by Icarus: You thought Three Amigos was good?!
Steve Martin, Martin Short and Chevy Chase?
Hilarious.
If you didn't think so, you are now ignored.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Icarus: You thought Three Amigos was good?!
You didn't?!
Psh. Hispanics. Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
But I'm one of the good ones!!
::insert that wide-eyed crying smilie from Galactic Cactus::
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
No, not the wide-eyed crying smiley from Galactic Cactus! You know I can't resist that thing!
Oh, alright. I guess you can still be my friend.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
That movie, if I recall is sort of... Silly -_-
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I might be the only one who thought The Incredibles was...meh.
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
quote:and the only redeeming feature just happens to be able to turn *invisible*. I mean, that's just adding insult to injury here.
That made me laugh! It looks bad on so many levels. The commercials alone make me snicker.
Worst movie tho..could be, but I think it would take a truely exceptionally horrible movie that takes itself too seriously to sink lower then The Musketeer.
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
How about the scene on the bridge where the Thing causes a 10 car pile-up ON A BRIDGE, and 3 minutes later his WIFE is there to throw her wedding ring in his face and leave?
That was really, really, really forced and stupid.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
afr, not necessarily . . . I think it had some really good redeeming qualities, but much of the first hour was slow. My kids were bored, which was a first for any movie, let alone a cartoon.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I thought it was decent, for what it was.
I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, it's a comic book movie. Comic books aren't usually based in any sense of reality, or with any attention paid towards how real it would look to someone.
It is what it is, with flashy stuff.
I liked the flashy stuff.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Movies like Toy Story I and II, Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo were so creative and inventive. This was Pixar at the top of their game. They just seemed like they'd let off a little with The Incredibles. It just didn't have that extra flair to it. It was so...formulaic.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
*didn't agree* It had great dialogue, and I loved the combination of superheroes and mondane things like capes and law suits and the themes about family.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I don't think it was formulaic at all. I think it was very inventive. My problems with it are that it lagged in the first hour, and that it was really not a kids' movie, but it was marketed as if it were.
Posted by estavares (Member # 7170) on :
The Incredibles was one of the best films of the past few years. Though the ending battle was weak, the rest of the film was top notch. The previews of FF was enough to turn my stomach, so that's a rental for me.
If you need a superhero flick, see Batman Begins.
Of course, I too like Three Amigos, so what do I know?
"Plethora? You say we have a plethora?"
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Haha, I love that part. Can't really remember the lines now though.
"Do you know, what a plethora is?"
"No."
"Then how can you say we have a plethora?"
Posted by Zamphyr (Member # 6213) on :
For reference, what other bad movies have you seen this year ?
Herbie : Fullly Loaded ? Sahara ? Miss Congeniallity 2 ? Son of Mask ? The Wedding Date ?
Fanatastic Four is exactly what I expected, althougth I really thought the Horatio Hornblower guy could act before this. My mistake.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Fantastic Four had nothing on The Punisher. That was the absolute worst movie I have ever seen in my life.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
I actually mostly agree with the comment about the advertising being inversely proportional to the suckiness of a film. It usually is spot on, enough that it is a good guage for me.
Usually. I did love SW:Ep III despite all the ridiculous product tie-ins.
*ducks*
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
And I was going to say that I thought that comment to Thor was harsh. I just thought: Man, that's cold.
Posted by SC Carver (Member # 8173) on :
I think it falls into last year, but "Sideways" move into my top 10 worst list.
Sometimes I get suckered into watching a movie that I haven't heard anything about from a real person because it gets so many great reviews. I'll end up renting it when I can't find anything else. These movies usually suck. They almost always are the Hollywood insiders stroking their egos. I would throw Sideways into this camp, although it at least had one or two scenes that made me laugh.
"The Royal Tenenbaums" falls into this also, but the winner of this category and maybe worst movie overall would have to be "Adaptation" with Nicolas Cage.
Of course cage has done many films that could go on the worst list. Like "Face Off" or "Con Air"
Posted by Lord Solar Macharius (Member # 7775) on :
If I do go see Fantastic Four I'll be buying another ticket for Batman Begins and theatre hopping. It just doesn't look good enough for me to want to throw ten dollars at Fox.
On a side note, The Incredibles, besides borrowing from F4, also took the whole "public cast out the superheroes" angle from The Watchmen. And, as Paramount has recently put the planned Watchmen movie into limbo, I presonally blame The Incredibles.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I really did like the Watchmen comic book, but I hated Dr. Manhattan. What a wuss...
But, if they made that into a movie, would he be running around naked in it?
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I almost feel your pain, Thor, but then again, you sound like before this you might have taken American cinema seriously. So perhaps I shall have to pity you.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Those are your bad movies?
What about Hostage? The Ring 2? White Noise? The Ring 2? King's Ransom? The Ring 2?
The Ring 2 was like an informercial selling BOREDOM.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Getting to see the actor who played Jonny Storm nearly naked several times was worth at least 3 times the admission price.
That's all I'm sayin. . .
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Lyrhawn: And you were foolish enough to grab a credit card and a phone!
I didn't think it was that bad, but it certainly paled in comparison to the first one. Maybe if they hadn't changed the premise to "she just wants a mommy to love her," then it might have been good.
But I see that someone mentioned The Musketeer. Now that's real horror.
[ July 13, 2005, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: Jon Boy ]
Posted by The Silverblue Sun (Member # 1630) on :
How about the scene in the fantastic four where THE THING sets up Susan Storm and Reed Richards, and then Dr. Doom stops by and is like...
"Remember when Reed Richards said he'd cure you? He's not working on a cure. He's at Dinner with Susan Storm."
So The Thing gets furious and goes to Reed Richards and says...
"why are you at dinner? You're supposed to spend every waking minute trying to cure me!"
..and a big fight ensuses between Reed and the Thing.
dumb. dumb. dumb.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Let's not forget movies that are good at being bad.
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. No, it's not blue; it's just B (B for bad). It revels in it.
MST3K, of course.
Posted by PUNJABEE (Member # 7359) on :
quote:Originally posted by estavares:
If you need a superhero flick, see Batman Begins.
Batman Begins isn't a Superhero flick. Bats isn't a superhero. Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Is he just an average hero then? I mean, he IS one of the SUPERfriends AND the Justice League.
Them's be some pretty fancy credentials.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
He's a superhero, but not with super powers. He's also a paradigm breaker. He fits in with SF, but he isn't SF. Although some of his villains might be.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
) events, but the timeline was really compressed.![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)