...and I don't want a t-shirt. You know the style?
My problem with the sites like "Modest Prom Dresses" is that all the dresses look alike, and I don't even particularly like how it looks. Like this. They all have the exact same neckline! Aren't there alternatives that don't base the top on a tight t-shirt?
I'd rather not wear a shawl or shrug or something like that, although if there is a very, very cute one and a good top for underneath, it might be okay. Maybe a sort of bolero jacket with something interesting underneath.
I went shopping for one on Saturday, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't either immodest or meant for my grandmother. Any ideas?
[ July 28, 2005, 10:49 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Why not be slightly immodest?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It's impossible for me to be.
---
There has to be a cute source. Surely there are enough designers out in the world that someone can come up with something cute that would cover my shoulders.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
They actually have a web site named Mormon Chic ? I don't know why I find that amusing. I actually like some of their items there quite a bit.
Sorry I can't help, Kat. I'm horrible at anything to do with clothes (which you can probably tell from meeting me). But Ivygirl is good at this kind of thing, and I see if she has any input.
Farmgirl
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: Why not be slightly immodest?
Would you suggest that Rivka simply go to a formal event without her head covering? For Kat, keeping her shoulders covered is a religious observance and something not to be caste aside for at a whim.
[ July 26, 2005, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
Nevermind.. that comes up first on a google search, and I'm sure you've seen it. Will keep looking.
-Katarain
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
What about a shawl over a sleeveless top?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Speaking of Rivka, I bet she has a good source for modest tops. She seems pretty stylish.
Posted by Jay (Member # 5786) on :
I think this would go really nice: hat Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Would you consider something like this or this Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
How about a nice short formal jacket to go over a spaghetti strap top?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Ah. I didn't realize that immodest was defined as "baring the shoulder." Sorry.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Oh, Rabbit, I love the lacy top. It would be perfect if they had it in black. My skirt is very dark royal blue, made of that material that looks blue from one angle and almost black at another angle.
The short formal jacket might work with a sleeveless top, but the top underneath still couldn't have spaghetti straps. I tend not to want jacket/sleeveless combo because then I can't take off the jacket ever.
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
So far the one I like the most is the one you linked to last, kat.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I think you'd look good in that top that Kama linked to kat. It's probably my favorite of the things that have been linked to so far.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I really like the top. My concern is that it says it is navy, and my skirt is more of a royal blue. I've also noticed that many Chinese designs are meant for women with slightly smaller porportions than mine. It could still really work, but I think I'd need to try it on just in case.
I love the one from Nordstroms, but it's clearance which means it has the size larger and the size smaller, but not my size. Which would be better to get?
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
What are your requirements for the top, Kat? (still trying to get my head around what would work)
No spaghetti straps, but would wider straps be okay? Or should there be "caps" over the shoulders at the very least?
How low of a neckline are you comfortable with in the front? (Neck only, down to collarbones, down to cleavage, down to deep cleavage?) How deep are you comfortable with in the back?
Are you comfy with showing belly/lower back skin, or are you trying to avoid that?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Larger. Especially since Nordstroms shirts are sometimes a wee bit smaller than you'd expect.
And you can always pin it.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
CT, she needs cap sleeves, down to collarbones or a little lower, no belly or back skin.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I like the one from Nordstrom's and the Mandarin style one Kama linked best.
The point with finding a top to wear with your skirt is not to find one to "match" it. That would, likely, be frustratingly impossible. You're trying to find something to "coordinate" with it. In the case of mail order, that will be difficult since you can't hold the two fabrics in your hands to compare them. Too bad you can't go into a store (and take your skirt in with you) to look at the two of these.
If you can't get your size of shirt, buy the larger size and have it altered. You don't want to be wearing a shirt that is too small.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It needs to cover my shoulders, have cap sleeves at least, and cover the top of my cleavage. That's basically no cleavage, although I have several v-neck shirts that I've added a small piece of material to and they are fine. In the back, down to about three inches above the bra strap. No skin showing around my middle.
The Nordstrom one I linked is probably a little low, but that can be easily fixed. My favorite little black dress had sheer sleeves, but worked when Coccinelle added black cap sleeves to it underneath.
Good point about Nordstrom's sizes, kq. I wonder if there's a Nordstrom's around here that might have it, although maybe not since it is on clearance.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
I love period clothing... you say ball gown, I think Southern Belles... and I love medieval and renaissance dresses.
Have you considered looking for those types of styles? Think Gone with the Wind... or the bodices people where to Renaissance Faires. (They don't HAVE to show cleavage.)
-Katarain
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Katarain, I would LOVE that, actually. The event is mostly a joke, so something over-the-top would be perfect. Maybe there's a costume shop somewhere in Dallas where I could get one for the night?
Added: *scowl* In the size larger, it only comes in Aqua. So that won't work. *googles Nordstrom locations in the metroplex*
[ July 26, 2005, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
quote:The Nordstrom one I linked is probably a little low, but that can be easily fixed. My favorite little black dress had sheer sleeves, but worked when Coccinelle added black cap sleeves to it underneath.
That makes sense. I'll keep looking on my own, too. Good luck!
PS: what fabrics would you prefer?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Anything, I'd think. The skirt is rustly and stiff, but the top could be anything.
This is kind of fun, looking for a top. It's frustrating, but I'm going to sites I never go to. There's some nice web design out there.
Posted by ctm (Member # 6525) on :
I'd suggest hitting some resale or consignment shops, you can often find some really neat formal separates at those... can be a bit time-consuming though.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Yeah, time is kind of a factor. I don't have a free night until next Tuesday, a week from today.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
It would be cool if you could take a photo of yourself wearing the skirt, the open it in PhotoShop and "try on" different blouses by pasting images from all these other sites to see how they looked with it.
...like changing clothes on those old cut-out dolls we had as kids...
Edit: Y'know, it's amazing how excited designers are about women showing their shoulders. Much harder to find cute covered shoulders than a relatively modest neckline.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Wait a minute - if your skirt is dark blue, why on earth would you want a black top? Where's Mrs.M when you need her?
Why can't you wear the aqua top with your skirt? That's the color I'd thought you were looking at....
Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
or pink. or brown.
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
I'd actually also go along w/ the suggestion of a non black top. I think a white one would probably lend a lot of contrast. Do you have a picture of the skirt?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I can't find a picture of a skirt like it. I've had it for several years, and while I usually wore it with a tight black t-shirt, I don't have one at the moment and that never really looked right. It's definitely blue/black, though, depending on where the light goes. It's more royal blue than navy, and there's netting underneath it to make it stand out a little.
I really, really love the white blouse with the georgette sleeves that CT linked to. Would that look okay with a blue/black skirt? I couldn't wear my black silk heels, but maybe I could get some silvery/sparkly shoes to go with it.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
quote:I really, really love the white blouse with the georgette sleeves that CT linked to. Would that look okay with a blue/black skirt?
I would pick white or off-white as my top choice. It is a classic look.
Edit: and I don't think that would rule out your black silk heels, especially if there is a black cast to the skirt in certain lights, but perhaps you should run it past Mrs. M first.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Cost for that top would be $23.99 plus shipping. Shipping ranges from $6.95 (flat rate for 9-11 days delivery after you place order) to $14.95 + $1.95/lb for delivery 2-3 days after you place the order. I doubt there is tax, although there might be.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I do really love that top.
quote:Y'know, it's amazing how excited designers are about women showing their shoulders. Much harder to find cute covered shoulders than a relatively modest neckline.
It's because models are skinny, and skinny people usually have flat chests. If you have a flat chest, cleavage is a lot less attractive, and shoulders are more attractive. Actually, for very skinny women, showing off shoulders is considerably sexier than showing off the space where there isn't much - that's just disappointing.
If you look at all the ruffled and gathered t-shirt styles, they are almost ALL designed to make someone who is flat look like they have curves. The women who actually have curves can't wear those clothes unless they want to look like a can-can dancer. Most of the strappy tops look considerably more scandalous on someone with C or D cups than on someone with A or B cups.
Women who have big breasts also often have more rounded upper arms, so the sleeveless styles are a lot less flattering. What this means is that the majority of clothes are literally designed so they will look bad on non-flat, non-rail-thin women.
It's not just a matter of finding something in an appropriate size, but finding something that shows off your body to its best advantage. I realized this again after going downtown on Saturday: Girls, just because they make it in your size, that does NOT mean you should wear it. Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
I love the blouse on the Victorian trading link. Or, from the same site,
quote:The women who actually have curves can't wear those clothes unless they want to look like a can-can dancer. Most of the strappy tops look considerably more scandalous on someone with C or D cups than on someone with A or B cups.
I hear you.
Kat, is the blue-black material something like in this walkway shot? (I love it with the yellow in that shot, BTW -- like this )
quote:Women who have big breasts also often have more rounded upper arms, so the sleeveless styles are a lot less flattering. What this means is that the majority of clothes are literally designed so they will look bad on non-flat, non-rail-thin women.
I am working on my thighs and my upper arms. The arms are by far the more difficult for me to tone. I want to have Terminator 2 Linda Hamilton arms.
quote:It's not just a matter of finding something in an appropriate size, but finding something that shows off your body to its best advantage. I realized this again after going downtown on Saturday: Girls, just because they make it in your size, that does NOT mean you should wear it.
Word.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Hmm...The top only comes in small and medium. I'm not sure that would work - I wear either a 10 or 12 on top right now, and mediums sometime, but only in the stretchy tight shirts.
CT: I think it's a little bit lighter than in that short - it's hard to explain. It's a shimmery material, but it's very definitely blue, even from a distance. It's not dark enough to be mistaken for black, but it's not pastel. It's more like a richer, darker electric blue.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Oh, ratfinks. Hmmm.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
The white gorgette top would be fine with a blue/black skirt. Now to find you something similar in your size!
Isn't trying to find clothes fun! Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Medium in misses fits size 8-10, which is bust 35-36". Large is 12-14, or bust 37.5-39".
There were other cool tops with georgette sleeves at that site, but none of them had caps. You'd have to add caps under the georgette.
(*going back to work, but verrry glad you liked it )
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
This is fun. I googled the name of the shirt in hopes of finding it in a large somewhere else on the web, but the first two pages of links all led eventually back to the original site. We are back to the problem of a chest that doesn't match the shirt.
Although, that dress that Rabbit linked to with the white lace top? That white lace top would be very good. It's attached to the dress in Rabbit's link, but maybe there's another version out there like it.
Or maybe I could get the dress and cut the skirt off. *thinks* That is a sort of expensive option.
CT, thank you so much for the links. There is much food for thought there, and I'd never seen that site before. I (meaning Coccinelle after I beg and bribe her) can add sleeves to tops with Georgette sleeves. There was that one with the beading and embroidery ont he bottom.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I like the following, but I wish it had short sleeves. And was 1/3 the price.
Not the same as the gorgette blouse, but what about this one? (Yes, it'd probably need caps put in the sleeves) This one is also beautiful, but not what you're looking for. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I wish I knew what color your skirt was so I would know how a black top would look with it.
Could you find any color close here so we'd have a better idea?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm wondering why I can't find a similar one out there. Maybe because its summer - I got the skirt during the winter originally. I'll look for a picture.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
What kind of fabric/shape is the skirt also?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It's an A-line, with netting to make it stand out a little. If I twirl, it swirls a little, but isn't full enough to do the really satisfactory swing-dance swirl. It goes to the floor, so my black silk heels are three inches high.
Which, incidentally, is why I currently do not have a date. I should go with the other guy in the group who isn't attached, but he's two inches shorter than me. Very nice and extremely smart, but shorter. This is actually a bigger deal to him than me, but even I don't want to end up five inches taller.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
I think I know what fabric you're talking about. Is it shiny blue, but with black woven into it so the backside of the fabric is black? Kind of irridescent blue-black?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
dana, yes, exactly. The netting underneath is black attached to black satinsomething. Would white still be okay with that?
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
I can hardly see words right now, I just got my eyes dilated, so I haven't looked at any of the last two hours of suggestions. But, here's a black top on HSN. On sale.
[ July 26, 2005, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: Theaca ]
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
White would be stunning with that, particularly a luxe white satin. I know the fabric, too. I'd like a very bright white, although I suppose an off-white could be okay. I have a pair of blue velvet pants in that sort of color, and used to wear then with a crisp white slim-cut men's dress shirt, with french cuffs. Much more casual than what you're going for, but it really worked.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
White would be fine. Or black. I think the top Theaca linked would be gorgeous. Or, you know, the two I linked on the previous page. Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
quote:Originally posted by ElJay: I have a pair of blue velvet pants in that sort of color, and used to wear then with a crisp white slim-cut men's dress shirt, with french cuffs. Much more casual than what you're going for, but it really worked.
I know that look, and I think it's awesome. And with an A-line rather than a real ballgown swirly skirt, I think the clean, tailored lines would go great. And tailoring is good for the busty, too.
What do you think of this? (More streamlined than the prior one you liked, Kat, and it comes in size 12. Just needs caps and maybe a camisole.) I like the lines of it much better than this. Best of all would be something yet more tailored, like a man's shirt (as what ElJay wore), only maybe a touch dressier?
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
Whoa. That's elegant.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Yeah. I really liked that one, but I initially ditched it because of the sleeve issue. But if that can be solved, then cool.
I'd love to find something like this, but in white and with maybe a little less fuss. More like the one in the Victorian Trading link.
Edit: Still love the cowlneck lines above best out of the bunch I've linked, though. I look good in a wide draped neck with collarbones showing.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Speaking of Rivka, I bet she has a good source for modest tops. She seems pretty stylish.
Thanks. Trouble is, Rivka shops plus-size, and Katie doesn't need that. And the main other source I'm familiar with, tznius.com (which also does business as modestclothing.com), seems to be in a primarily-clearance-and-extremely-limited-stock-and-sizes mode at the moment.
Oh, and when I have money to throw around, I am so getting one of these necklaces! They even have my name in the display (style B). Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Also nice, but may be too dressed-down. And bust 34-40" on a petite small? Heh, heh.
rika: I love that site.
[ July 26, 2005, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: CT ]
Posted by Diana Bailey (Member # 8313) on :
Rivka's Mom wore an absolutely gorgeous beaded top with a long blue skirt at her wedding. I decided long ago that I would shamelessly follow her example if either of my children got married (not yet, but perhaps someday).Maybe she could send you a picture.
Good luck. I dress conservatively too, but I love fashion and clothes.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Diana Bailey: Rivka's Mom wore an absolutely gorgeous beaded top with a long blue skirt at her wedding. Maybe she could send you a picture.
I could, but it wouldn't help much. It was actually a one-piece dress (although it looked like a two-piece) and it was fairly expensive -- even for Loehman's sale prices.
It was also cursed. Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Two I sort of like from Overstock.com, both @ $27.99; here and here. Both still fussier than I'd like, though.
Also the 4th blouse here (concert attire, $36.95), but I want to see a close-up.
[ July 26, 2005, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: CT ]
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Okay. I'm finished with my Kat's blouse obsession.
Two things:
1) Apparently, websites in West Hollywood at GeoCities tend to host pictures of transsexuals in blouses of all varieties (not that this is a bad thing, mind, but the blouses were not really of the type I was looking for)
2) I vote for this, which ElJay and I both think is right elegant. It looks like the other one I found that you liked, Kat, (but better, IMHO), comes in a 12, and costs $21.99 plus shipping (ranges from extremes of $6.95 for up to two week delivery to about $19 for 2-3 day delivery). Downsides include need for capping the sleeves and maybe a camisole.
Good luck in whatever you find!
(I've much enjoyed looking at the other links, too.)
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
I also vote for the one CT and ElJay like Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Very pretty! Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
I like the one CT and ElJay vote for two. It has a very understated elegance.
Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
I definitely like the one that CT and ElJay voted for - it's exactly what came to mind when you described the skirt.
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
Be sure to note that you can see the waistband of her black pants through the bottom of the blouse, though. The picture isn't clear on how far up this translucency goes. You may end up needing a camisole, too, so factor that possibility into cost, convenience, and in calculating the extent of layering that will be necessary.
I'd bet that the breast area isn't translucent (certainly, the cowl seems to be opaque), but I'm a little worried that some belly skin area might get uncovered, especially as you move around in it.
I do love the lines.
(I dreamt I was helping find you a top last night, Kat! You were wearing a top, a sweater, a big big frou-frou hat, and your skirt. I was trying to find the top AJ had given me as a possible substitute for your layering, in case you got too hot.
And I was feeling guilty for searching my mother's clothes for something for you, too. And then I was hurt and shamed that you all lived in Madison (AJ, Kat, rivka, ludosti, Theaca, etc) but didn't tell me because I wasn't cool enough.
It was a long night.)
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
That sounds a lot like the kind of dreams I get.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Y'all are so darling. I do love the white shirt with the cowl neck. I have a blue and gold crystal necklace that my dad got me in Hawaii that I think would go with that. If the shirt is too long and it doesn't look right with skirt, I think we ("we" meaning Coccinelle after I, um, maybe I can pay for a movie) can shorten it a little bit.
I'm ordering that one right now.
I went to the Galleria last night in hopes of finding something at Nordstroms, since there were a couple of possibilities on the web site. They laughed at me. No tops with sleeves, but everyone suggested spaghetti straps and a shrug. I think shrugs are also intended for small-breasted women. I've seen several people look absolutely hideous in shrugs, and it's generally because it was stretched tight across their chests, and because it had farther to go horizontally, it didn't hang down far enough on their torso. On the other hand, a well-constructed shrug can make even the hanger look like it has cleavage. It's a conspiracy, I'm telling you.
I did find a lovely, shiny, perfect, bright-white satin shirt at Saks Fifth Avenue, but then looked at the price and nearly choked. There's no way I'm paying $230 for anything that doesn't come with a veil or its own jet plane.
I wandered into Limited and discovered that their white shirts were 40% off, so I got a white button-down shirt (sorry no link - I don't think they have a web site). It looks a lot like the tailored Oxford you linked to above, CT, complete with hook and eye closures. It isn't really appropriate for the occasion (fabric is pretty casual), but I think I can wear it around for work and church. I did have to get a camisole for underneath, but I can use a white camisole anyway. It's slicky and tight and comfortable, so I bet I can wear it with the dressy top above.
I also got this, just in case I couldn't find something else. I'll take it back, since I can't really justify it unless there's a special occasion, but it is amazing how sexy a long-sleeve, high-collared shirt can be if it's well-cut.
quote:You were wearing a top, a sweater, a big big frou-frou hat, and your skirt.
I think I've worn that outfit on laundry day.
Added: I ordered that one. I should get it in a week, I hope. I'll track down a camera somewhere and post a picture on this thread when it is all together. Thank you so much for the help. Y'all are incredible. *hug*
[ July 27, 2005, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by TheTick (Member # 2883) on :
quote:There's no way I'm paying $230 for anything that doesn't come with a veil or its own jet plane.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Bad news, Katie. Wedding dresses generally do not include the veil; that's separate (and extra).
Posted by CT (Member # 8342) on :
*beaming
Yes, nothing like a well-tailored cut, 'tis true.
Sweet.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
You chose the exact one I would have chosen. I can't wait to see pictures. It will also look stunning with dark jeans and you can wear it year-round. I have about 3 versions of it in black.
How are you wearing your hair? I think it would look gorgeous pulled back into a loose ponytail and it would highlight the neckline.
I also have a version of the limited blouse you bought, except my sleeves are plain. I'd hang onto it - you can dress it up or down and it'll never go out of style.
This thread is making me a tiny bit jealous. I'm not having luck with maternity clothes and it's driving me crazy. All the clothes I've bought lately are sizes 0-3 months.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Thank you, Mrs.M!
I have wavy light brown hair with dark blonde streaks that reaches *pats hair* about two inches past my shoulders right now. I can get it really curly or else mostly straight if I coax it, but it never gets stick straight and both states usually revert to a general waviness by the end of the evening.
What's the best way to pull it back into a ponytail? I have black rubber bands and a large black clip. I also have a clip that's kind of bejeweled, but a lot of the glass falas have fallen out so it looks a little bit ghetto. Should I get a mettallic clip?
I was also thinking jewelry. I have a nice necklace and matching earrings made of blue and gold crystals. That means goldish jewelry and hair things, right?
I still haven't decided what to do about the shoes. I like my 3 inch heels, but it will make me five inches taller than the other writer and four inches taller than the leading actor. I love being tall, but that starts to feel a little unfair. I'm sure I could find some cheap party shoes somewhere, but it's easier to find them in silver than in gold. I think. I haven't shopped for party shoes for a really long time.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
The earrings sound great, but I'd skip the necklace all together. It would detract from the neckline. Your jewelry doesn't have to match your hair accessories, btw, so don't let that limit your choices.
If you don't want to add height, you can get a pair or silver or gold ballet flats. They're all over the place now and they'll go great with the ensemble.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
Any ideas?![[Smile]](smile.gif)
)![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
We are back to the problem of a chest that doesn't match the shirt.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
Thanks. Trouble is, Rivka shops plus-size, and Katie doesn't need that. And the main other source I'm familiar with, tznius.com (which also does business as modestclothing.com), seems to be in a primarily-clearance-and-extremely-limited-stock-and-sizes mode at the moment.![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)