I don't want to think anymore. I've been walking around trying not to for the past hour or so, and it's not working. I can't stay in my room because it makes me feel sick and I'll inevitably think. I'm in Wellington, NZ, halfway across the world from my family and friends. I don't want to feel anymore either. Not thinking seems a more attainable goal than not feeling, though. Because we all know there's only one way to not feel anything anymore. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't ever post here anymore, though I read threads about once a day.
Posted by Aurinona (Member # 8443) on :
You seem to have gotten yourself into the "don't think of a blue elephant" situation. When you're trying to AVOID thinking about something, you're just dwelling on it even more.
I grew up as a military brat, and I know what it's like to feel separated from friends and pretty alone (I still had my family, but post-move I was usually mad at them about being dragged cross-country.)
Homesickness does pass eventually, at least somewhat- the key is to find activities and meet new people. It's never easy, but I know from experience that depression and loneliness are often self-fulfilling expectations, and the belief that I'll be unhappy leads to behaviors that make me unhappy, such as isolating myself and sulking.
Hang in there, and if you can, find something to focus on rather than trying NOT to focus on something else. Work on a hobby, pick up a good book, talk to some buddies on the internet. It can't make everything better, but it can take your mind off of things for a while and help.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Good golly, Ronnie. What is going on with you? You are kind of scaring me. Do you think it is a good time to call the suicide hotline? (check the front of your phone book. Or what the hey, call 411) You sound like you need someone to talk to.
What can I do to help?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I don't have any suggestions, and I have no idea what's going on. But I have something for you. *hug*
Feel free to email me any time. Or AIM, if you manage to catch me on.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Ronnie? Ronnie? Are you there? Ronnie?
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
Thank you, Aurinona, Tante, and rivka. I don't think it's really homesickness I'm feeling. Maybe a little, but not a major reason I'm feeling this way. Calling a suicide hotline would mean I'd have to think so I don't really want to do that. I don't think there is anything you can do to help, but thank you. Thank you for the hug. I guess I could see a movie or something to keep from thinking. I don't know. I'll probably end up just walking around some more.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Is there someone you can telephone at this hour to chat? Sometimes a nice chatty chat can lift your mood. I am concerned. Your thoughts ought not to be so intolerable, and it is not good that they are.
Are you having thoughts of suicide?
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
No, there's no one I can call.
<removed>
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
What is your plan now?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Not even Kylie?
And I'm pretty sure you have my cell number. Not sure what it would cost for you to call here, but I can call you . . .
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
RRR, you are kind of scaring me too. Hope everything will be okay.
(((hugs)))
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
No, I can't call Kylie. I forgot I had your cell number. Thanks for the offer, but I really don't think I want to talk about it right now.
My plan is to sit here for a little while longer then go see what times movies are showing and possibly see one. If not then I'll walk around for a while.
Thank you, Ela.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Ok. The offer will still be redeemable later, if you change your mind.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I'll be up for another few hours at least. I'm on AIM, and I have free cell minutes, so let me know if you want to talk.
I think I've had feelings similar to what you describe. Catching a movie is probably a very good idea, as is reading an easy and engaging book, or sleeping (if you can).
I hope you feel better.
Posted by Kiwi (Member # 7982) on :
If you think you are in actual danger, then you can text me and I will call.
Otherwise I suggest you GO DO SOMETHING. And stop sitting around thinking.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Lean on your friends. Listen, they care. You take care of you.
Can I give you a hug?
(Ronnie)
And, seriously, that is the first time I've (hugged) anyone on Hatrack.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I don't want to lean on my friends. I've done that enough already. Thank you for the hug.
I guess I'll take your suggestion and go now.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Do rivka and shigosi and kiwi SOUND as if they feel as though you are leaning on them too much? They want to talk to you.
You'd better post tomorrow to let us know that you are OK, or, if you are not OK, what you plan to do about getting yourself OK.
OK?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote: I've done that enough already.
Speaking only for myself: PFFFFFFT! Just call me a PLP. Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
That's what friends are there for, to use a cliche. I expect that if my friends need something, they'll come to me and ask. If I can't help, I'll say so. And if I offer, I mean it.
I think that your friends are offering support because they mean it. If you need it, why not take it without feeling guilty? After all, it feels good to help people, and your friends want to see you be happy.
Posted by raventh1 (Member # 3750) on :
I used to have this problem often. I haven't had it since shortly after going off carbonation and caffeine.
I used to be pretty paranoid about things too, and completely worried about adding too much to other people's burden so I'd keep it all to myself. I've found a road to recovery with me that involves letting other people help, and just talking. It took quite a long time before I could force myself to do it.
Everything felt like it was closing in during these periods. One thing I found to help was get some sleep. If I had trouble sleeping I'd make the room dark, and climb under the covers and just zone out. Eventually I would fall asleep and I would always feel at least a little better in the morning (in regard to everything closing in) and I'd think a bit clearer too.
Best of wishes.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I wish I could sleep. I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night. I really don't want to go back to my room, though. The thought of going back makes me feel slightly sick. I've just been walking around since I last posted. I walked by the beach in Oriental Bay and sat and stared at the waves crashing for a long time. I feel numb. I don't feel like caring about anything. It's almost 7. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Probably sit here for a while more. Maybe go back to Oriental Bay.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hug*
Posted by akhockey (Member # 8394) on :
Ronnie, buddy, keep your head up. Sleep, in my opinion, always helps. And, like the others have said, get lost in something. Whenever I'm down, or just really bummed out, I watch quality programming. SCRUBS Season 1 is my latest cure, to which I will crawl to tonight.
Just remember that, as is evident from all these posters, there's always people that will be there for you and willing to talk to you. You're never alone. Keep us posted. And keep that head up.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
I wish I could donate some sleep for ya RRRRRRRR, I've been getting way too much of it lately Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
Well, I'm back. I couldn't stay in my room. I kept shaking and hyperventilating and wondering how long it would take to die of hypothermia if I jumped in the harbour. Luckily this place is open 24 hours.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, RRR. It sounds like a very tough time for you. I'm glad you felt okay posting about it here.
quote:Calling a suicide hotline would mean I'd have to think so I don't really want to do that.
quote:Well, I'm back. I couldn't stay in my room. I kept shaking and hyperventilating and wondering how long it would take to die of hypothermia if I jumped in the harbour. Luckily this place is open 24 hours.
quote:No, there's no one I can call.
I know you didn't want to call a hotline because you didn't want to have to think about it, but things don't seem to be getting better. Sounds like you are stuck in a pretty painful place, and no matter what you do, you are still utterly miserable.
The "sensible" thing to do would be to try something else, like calling a hotline or a counsellor or a clinic. Of course, we all get to be non-sensible every now and then! Sometimes it's just too much to ask of someone. But I do think that talking to someone trained in these matters is the only thing that is going to make it better at this point, and I hope you can find your way to doing that.
If you give us the town or city where you are***, one of our Google-fu Champions can help you find local resources. Alternatively, here are some links to pages with information and some international suicide hotline numbers:
Both have links to New Zealand numbers, including 4-47-9739 . One of them links to Befrienders International (run by the Samaritans), whose New Zealand page is here. More numbers specific for sexual assault and problems of young people in New Zealand is here. At least some of those numbers should be toll-free -- if not, then someone here at Hatrack would be happy to buy you a phone card and give you the numbers to use it.
The great thing about calling a hotline or professional is that all you have to do is call an say "I need help." They are trained to walk you through the rest of it -- you don't have to think on your own.
I'll keep checking in on this thread throughout the day. I hope you won't think I'm nagging if I keep saying the same thing: just wishing you well and urging you to contact someone. It doesn't mean I'm not paying attention or that I don't care. On the contrary, when things are staying sucky or (even worse) getting suckier, then people who love you have to try to encourage you to do the sensible thing. I'd feel like a pretty awful friend if I didn't keep saying the same thing and keeping the focus on taking that first step.
Especially when "sensible" is the last thing from your state of mind. *wry half-grin (I remember -- I've been somewhere like that, too.)
Take care, sweetie. Call someone who is trained in these matters. They are there ready and waiting to help.
*** Edited to add: I see you are in Welllington. The following resources may be useful, especially the first one. Try calling, even if they don't seem to specifically apply -- someone will be able to help you figure out who would be most helpful in your case.
quote:Wellington Crisis Management Team Provides 24 hour assessment and short-term treatment services for people experiencing a serious mental health crisis and for whom there are urgent safety issues.
Crisis Assessment Treatment Team A mental health crisis assessment & treatment team. Provides role under the Mental Health Act 1992.
Community Mental Health Hutt Valley DHB Community based assessment and treatment therapies for clients in the Hutt Valley area. Referrals via Hutt Hospital, GP, crisis team or may self refer.
Hutt Hospital Crisis response for after hours and weekends.
Wellington Independent Rape Crisis Inc We provide free and confidential support and couselling to the survivors of rape and sexual abuse. We provide free support and advocacy, information and referral services to family and friends of rape and sexual abuse survivors. We also run a comprehensive education programme in secondary schools. There is no charge for our service.
Wellington Women's Refuge Wellington Women's Refuge provides support and advocacy services for women and their children who are experiencing family violence. We provide a 24 hour crisis line, safe house accommodation, information on legal issues; housing and income support. We also do referrals for women and children to other agencies that may be able to assist them. We work with women in the community, as well as women who are staying in our safe house, and are available to do community education on family violence. Wellington Women's Refuge is a confidential service provider. The office is open 9am - 5pm; the crisis line is open 24 hours.
Hutt Rape Counselling Network Incorporated Rape and sexual abuse. 24hr crisis support, counselling, advocacy, forensic medical examinations, education. No charge to client.
Wellington Women's Centre A variety of women's groups and organisations are located here. Drop-in for information.
YWCA of Wellington and Hutt Valley We offer education, training & support for women, through a wide range of programmes. Most are available for FREE. Current services include Career Ys & Job Club, Mothers Alone, Young Women's Programme, Women's Access Computer and Self Defence. For more details on these programmes and how to become a member or a volunteer phone, email or call in and see us.
[ August 04, 2005, 09:06 AM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
My advice is to go find somebody you've never met before and talk to them - not necessarily about this, but whatever.... sports, the weather, buddhism, whatever. In fact, tell them you are new to NZ and are trying to find out what there is that's good to do. If you are talking, you won't be thinking... and if you get lucky and happen to make a friend, you will at least not be halfway around the world from ALL of your friends.
If that doesn't work, call one of your friends. It's not leaning on them because they likely want to hear from you as much as you'd want to hear from them. I guarantee it.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry things are so hard for you. I know what that numb place feels like, and it's tough to get out.
Sometimes, all that helps is to read something. Find a book that you can just spend a couple hours with, or keep walking around, even if you're walking around downtown in the middle of the night.
If you want to talk, you can always call (I'll email you my new phone number), but do what's best for you.
I miss you and I'm so sorry that life seems to have you in the undertow right now. But please hang on, and do whatever you need to to distract yourself from that pain.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
RRR,
add one more to the list of those concerned about you... *hug*
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Hope things are feeling better soon for you. We have all been there, although perhaps not to this degree.
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Kwea
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I've been there too. CT is right-on. Lean on friends in times like this, it's what friends are for. True friends know that you'd do the same for them when situations are reversed. You can also call me anytime, or IM me or whatever.
As for not thinking...you can try what my coach has me do in fencing. Pick one thing to think about. ONE thing (and it better be a decent thing). Like, in fencing, for me it would be a single parry. Make sure you're standing.
Close your eyes.
How much easier is it to think of just that one thing while you work on keeping your balance and having your eyes shut, etc?
Could work. Worth trying, at least.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Well, I'm back. I couldn't stay in my room. I kept shaking and hyperventilating and wondering how long it would take to die of hypothermia if I jumped in the harbour. Luckily this place is open 24 hours.
Well, I asked you to check in with us today, and I'm glad that you did, but it seems like you are still not OK. In fact, I'd call what is going on with you an emergency crisis. You are having serious suicidal ideation, which puts you at immediate risk of injury or, G'd Forbid, death. It is an immediate crisis that warrants immediate intervention. I urge you, at the least, to call one of ClaudiaTherese's leads. You can go to a local emergency room for treatment. Please do not try to tough out this crisis on your own -- you are quite clearly asking for help. It's just that I am here in New Jersey, and am limited in how much I can do. Take the next step and reach out for help to people who are actually there and able to help you.
I'm just going to feel awful, we all will, if you come to an unfortunate end. You have the power to avoid that. You can get past this crisis. But, I am imploring you, get yourself real assistance.
Another hug, out of concern for you ((Ronnie)).
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*hugs RRR* I've met you, you are a sweet caring person and the world is better because you are in it.
Do they have soup kitchens in New Zealand? If so why not go to one and ask if they would take a volunteer to help prepare food or do other chores for a few hours. It will get you around people who also care about others, and you'll be helping other people at the same time.
AJ
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
How are you doing, RRR?
Posted by Kiwi (Member # 7982) on :
Have just spoken to Sarah and she is fine.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, thank goodness.
I hope she finds a way to work this out. Tough, tough stuff. Glad she has you to talk with, Kiwi.
Posted by Kiwi (Member # 7982) on :
Yeah, I hope she does too. Although I'm not entirely sure you should be glad she has me to talk with. Turns out I'm really not that good at dealing with Things. Sigh.
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
RRR! It's been so long since I've seen you around. In fact as soon as I opened the page this was the first thing I opened. Wow I didn't realize you were in NZ.
When I need to not think I exercise. I find running or some other exercise really helps me feel better. I used to go to Hatchat. You guys always entertained me and kept my mind off things.
I hope things get better. If you need anything let me know.
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
RRR... I have not had the opportunity to meet you, but I empathize with you. I know the feelings you are describing. I spent the good part of a year in a depression. Unfortunately, I didn't let anybody know about what I was going through. The only clue my family or friends had was that I would begin to cry uncontrollably. This was usually because the sense of nothingness I felt was my life became so much more overwhelming than normal during this time that I couldn't do anything else but cry. And when someone would try to help me, I would refuse.
I am not even sure how I came out of it, but I will never forget the day when just being sad wasn't the only way in the world to be. I could pull myself out of it. Something that is easier said than done, and sometimes can't be said at all, when you are truly depressed.
What Mack was talking about with focusing on one thing is something that did help me a bit during the worst of times. Those thoughts were like a branch stretched out to someone drowning in quicksand, even though there were times when I didn't want to grab the branch much less acknowledge it was there. All I wanted to do was let the numbness I felt seep into every part of my being and take hold there forever. For me, that was the scariest part. The fact that I wanted that to happen. I wanted stay there. That place was so real to me that I could actually feel it in mind as a physical sensation. (Sometimes, I can still feel this sensation. It's like I am testing cold water with my toe. It gives me the shivers and a sense of virtigo that isn't as unpleasant as I would like it to be.)
I know it sounds cliche, but listen to your mind and heart. Lean on your friends. They are stronger and more patient than you think. You don't have to talk just do something with them. Or, just do something by yourself. Try to grab on to one focus until you feel more comfortable doing more than one thing at a time.
Also, don't ever listen to people who say, "Just snap out of it!". They don't understand that the difference between being sad and being depressed is like the difference between closing your eyes and being blind. (I know its not the best analogy.)
I wish I could help you more.
{{{RRR}}}
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
Sarah, I still remember fondly our "Obrom" prank that you and sarcasticmuppet and I played.
I don't have any specific advice, but I hope you feel better. Email me for my phone number if you need to talk--check my profile for email. (((Sarah)))
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Feel better, honey. And if you are past the immediate crisis, please don't fail to get medical help. Depression is treatable. Heck, it sometimes seems like half the people I know are on one SSRI or another. And they just LOVE their SSRIs.
I'm rooting for you.
Your Shvester,
Esther
Posted by JaneX (Member # 2026) on :
(((RRR)))
Posted by Kiwi (Member # 7982) on :
quote: please don't fail to get medical help
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
Sarah, you are more than welcome to e-mail me too. It doesn't have to be about anything specific, or anything important.
space opera
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
Thank you all for your concern, but now I wish I hadn't posted this. Apparently I owe you all now. I don't want to get medical help or whatever. You don't understand how much I dislike talking counselors and psychologists. I'm sorry if I'm being incredibly selfish.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Honey, you don't "owe us." We're just concerned about you.
And not seeking help isn't selfish. It's merely foolish (IMO, of course). But you are an adult, and you get to make your own choices.
We care about you either way, you know.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:I don't want to get medical help or whatever. You don't understand how much I dislike talking counselors and psychologists.
Yeah. Me too. Hate seeing doctors, hate talking it out with therapists. But, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive, even if you don't like it. And your depression may be a threat to your continued survival. Can you grit your teeth, hold your nose, and do it anyway, for your own good?
Still routing for you.
Shvester Esther
Posted by raventh1 (Member # 3750) on :
If you feel you owe me, next time you see someone that you can help, make sure to try and help them is all I ask.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
I don't know what to say. So I just want to hug you, even though I'm about as helpful as a carbuncle.
(((RRR)))
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
All you owe us is to take care of yourself. DOn't beat yourself up about this, I haven't heard a single person, even people like me who don't know you well, complain about this thread.
We all have turned to others for help at one time or another. It is a coping mechinism that is necessary to survive.
Take care...
Kwea
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
quote:Originally posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan: Apparently I owe you all now.
One of the longest, hardest lessons I had to learn is that Love is a gift: you neither earn it nor are indebted by receiving it.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Lots of wisdom here.
I don't think there's any extra owe (at least from my perspective) -- just the same "speak with passion, listen with respect" that we all owe here, same as always.
You know, when you call a crisis line from a pay phone, you are in total control -- if you don't like it, then you can hang up, and there is no way of tracing you. You could just try it out. (I know you hate counselors and doctors, but it sounds like you hate the way you are feeling now, too.)
Regardless, I'm still sending you good vibes and hoping you find a way to make it better soon.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Thing is, trying not to think won't work (apparently).
Think of this sequence of questions:
What's at risk if you do talk to a shrink or doctor or somebody? It might be unpleasant. And what's at risk if it's unpleasant? What's the worst that happens?
OK, what's at risk if you don't?
So what's the BEST thing that can happen if you do, or don't?
The risk if you don't sounds pretty severe.
Here's hoping it goes well for you. Keep talking!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
*still thinking about you and wishing you well, RRR
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
RRR, I'm really glad you started this thread. You don't owe any of us anything because of what you posted. The whole idea of inconveniencing us somehow, or owing us, or being selfish?
That sounds like depression talking. It isn't true. But it's all right for you to feel that way.
Now, I don't know whether you have it, and I'm not saying you do. You haven't mentioned any of the physical symptoms -- sleep problems, changes in appetite, stomach ache, headache. However, I can tell you that what you described sounds exactly like me four years ago. Depression makes your brain lie to you. Despite the fact that I knew rationally that the people around me cared, I felt that they didn't, that the world was better off without me. This wasn't true for me, and it's not true for you.
Please, get medical help. This sort of thing, if left alone, usually gets worse, not better. I know you don't really want to go to the doctor. Is there someone there with you who you can talk to about this? Someone who can help you get help? Also, if you don't feel comfortable with a counselor or a psychologist, you might want to keep looking around until you find one you feel good about talking to.
I hope you get well soon, RRR. Please consider going to the doctor at least, or calling a hotline. Oh, and listen to Remus Lupin: chocolate might help you feel better.
Posted by firebird (Member # 1971) on :
RRR - I feel so much for you. I've been there too. At one point life was so numbing that getting out of bed was just too much like hard work. Having breakfast was just too much like hard work. Opening my eyes was just too much like hard work. In fact I just wanted the world to stop ... but working out how to do that was just too much like hard work. And all this thinking was just exhausting ... but it went round and round in circles.
RRR - I feel for you so much and send you positive psychic vibes.
Survival strategy number one - read Ender's Game. That book has always given me strength.
Survival strategy number two - read your favourite Childrens book ... hopefully you can then fall into a dreamless sleep.
Survival strategy number three - eat something very easy to digest Boiled egg with toast Steamed white fish with peas and new potato Oxtail soup
Survival strategy number three ... talk to someone. And the more professional they are the less they will try to fix you and the more they will listen to you.
It sound as though you have completely lost touch with who or what you are? It sounds like you don't know what you want or need? Is that how you feel? Is sounds like you sound completely alone? If that is how you feel, don't worry, just say yes and well go from there ...
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
*whisperbump*
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
*still thinking about you, RRR, and hoping you're feeling better
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
Thanks, all of you. I am feeling better. Still not good, but slightly better than before.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
Better is good. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Indeed. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Ronnie, what is your plan now?
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I'm not sure. I guess I can see the benefit in getting professional help, but if I do actually do that I think I'd wait until I go back to the U.S. (I leave Friday). I just really dislike talking to psychologists. Last time I was forced to go to one I refused to talk and wouldn't go back after the first time. It's not just not wanting to talk, it's freezing up and being unable to. Plus it's a complete stranger. And I guess I'd have to tell my parents I wanted to go, which I really don't want to do, since my insurance is through my mom. Jeez, I can't believe I'm actually thinking maybe I should see a psychologist. That's like thinking maybe I should get a shot. (I have a phobia of needles.)
quote: You haven't mentioned any of the physical symptoms -- sleep problems, changes in appetite, stomach ache, headache.
I'm definitely having sleep problems. I haven't been able to fall before around 2 am since before this happened even though I'm really tired. I end up just collapsing and taking a nap for an hour or so in the evening and then waking up and being unable to sleep later.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
If you find a psychologist you think you might want to talk to, tell him/her about not being able to talk. They could probably help you get through that boundary as well.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
RRR, I'm glad you are considering seeing someone. I know this is a very difficult thing for you.
You don't have to make it a big deal with your mom. Assuming the insurance covers it (and most do), it probably won't be a big deal if you say you've been having some trouble sleeping and you think it might help to have someone outside the family to talk to. (Or if you don't want to mention the sleep thing, just the second part.)
Another possibility might be seeing what student health at your college (you are starting a new year of classes soon, yes?) has available.
*hug* Be well.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Glad you're feeling better . If you're not ready to see a psychologist, how about just a general practitioner?
Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to post if you need anything.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Ronnie, it sounds like you are developing a good plan. I'm proud of you, honey, because I know that it is not easy to do. If you are leaving on Friday, and you believe that you can make it that far, I agree that it is a good idea to wait until then.
If you hook up with a therapist, and you guys don't click, you can always change to someone else. Don't waste your time in an unproductive therapeutic relationship.
You are doing good, honey. From a plaintive cry in the night hurled out to hatrack, to a plan on getting yourself well again, you are definitely taking some necessary steps. Safe journey. I'm rooting for you.
Posted by tt&t (Member # 5600) on :
I'm also glad you're considering seeing someone. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I'm so, so happy that you are doing better and making plans to keep doing better. That's awesome!
If you are a college student, you have access to free confidential counselling services through the university. I can just about guarantee it. They may not click for you, but it's a place to start.
Yay, RRR!
Strong, brave, healthy Sarah. Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
Thank you for the encouragement and advice. It means a lot to me.
I looked up counseling services on my school's website, and found this. It says I can just walk in and get seen as long as I'm a student enrolled for at least six hours, which I am. It also says they're open year-round so I don't have to wait until school starts. So I just have to work up the courage to go. Will they understand if I'm not willing to talk at first? The last time I went to a psychologist I don't remember her trying to get know me at all first; I just remember her asking if I thought I was less happy than other people around me, and I said I thought I was just as happy because I really didn't want to talk to her. I feel nervous just looking at that counseling services webpage.
Posted by Space Opera (Member # 6504) on :
I think they'll understand. If I were you, I'd just be open about it. Tell them you think you need to talk, but describe your "freezing up" and let them know how uncomfortable you are. Any good therapist will have strategies to help you relax. I'm glad you're doing this.
space opera
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Ronnie, you are taking one positive step after the other. You go, girl! I like the plan of going to the student counselling center. You can tell them that you've been going through some rough times, and that your friends have been encouraging you to get professional help and counselling, but that it is hard for you to take this step, and hard for you to open up an talk to strangers about what is bothering you.
Good luck with it all, and good luck in school.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:Will they understand if I'm not willing to talk at first?
I'm guessing that is what happens for them the majority of the time.
Posted by firebird (Member # 1971) on :
RRR, one neat trick for you to consider. Take in a pre writen note to the councilor saying your thoughs.
**** ie I know I need to do this but it terrifies me and I find it horrible to talk about so can we just get to know about each other a little first while I relax and then maybe I will be able to talk about some of the issues that bother me. ****
It would help the councilor and you would feel much safer knowing that they are going to respect your boundaries and feelings and fears.
Good luck, we are all really impressed with the progress you are making.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Sarah, good for you for finding that. And great that you don't even have to wait for classes to start!
I think Tres is right, and it happens pretty often. And I like firebird's suggestion of a note.
Good luck! Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
I'm glad you're feeling better, Sarah. Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Hugs!
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