This weekend my 13-year-old son took an important step in his development, a milestone that makes startling new hair eruptions and a drivers license pale in comparison: he bought his first set of role-playing game dice.
For the non-geek among you, gaming dice have anywhere from four to 20 sides, will direct every decision James makes for the next six years, and will quickly become more important to him than any three relatives. Their constant clatter will bring back fond memories even as I yell at him to keep it down.
For over 30 years now "Dungeons and Dragons," the game he is starting to dabble in, has provided a rich haven for kids who enjoy the wonders of a dangerously overactive imagination combined with the never-ending delight of arguments about weapons encumbrance.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
I think most people going through puberty get at least a -1 penalty to DEX. Changing proportions that you aren't used to yet. Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Homosexuals last week, RPGs this week-- you're gunning to become Chick's Most-hated-columnist-of-the-year.
Keep it up. That was fantastic.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Oh, that's a classic! I'm not a D&D guy - in Romania I couldn't have been if I wanted to - but I'm the one who can talk about a chess game / Starcraft game / Homeworld mission etc until somebody bold enough tells me to stop. Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Funny as usual, Chris.
As a sidenote, I thought some of the "You learn..." things in this column had been done before in a How to Be a Cthulhu Cultist guide I'd seen years earlier. I googled it up and found a link to said guide, which did indeed contain a few of the same jokes... and also the words "by Chris Bridges."
Coolness, I had no idea that was also you.
--Enigmatic
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
quote:You learn that when a religious artifact begins emitting light, you should close your eyes. Thousands of people could be saved every year with this simple safety tip.
Posted by dean (Member # 167) on :
As a recent inductee in the world of White Wolf, I too just got my first set of dice. =D
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: Funny as usual, Chris.
As a sidenote, I thought some of the "You learn..." things in this column had been done before in a How to Be a Cthulhu Cultist guide I'd seen years earlier. I googled it up and found a link to said guide, which did indeed contain a few of the same jokes... and also the words "by Chris Bridges."
Coolness, I had no idea that was also you.
--Enigmatic
It's a good thing that you can't plagarize yourself.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Never invoke anything bigger than your head.
I've heard this many times over the years. Do you know what its origin is?
Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
I a little proud of myself that I got that STR was strength and DEX was dexterity before I opened the thread, but I'm a little dismayed that I originally thought it was some new, weird geek speak for Stridex at first.
Posted by FlyingCow (Member # 2150) on :
What games are you playing, dean?
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
Everyone should grow up playing D&D! It may be geeky but it's wonderful for your imagination and people don't realize it takes at least some brainpower to hold all those stats in your head!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
"Never invoke anything bigger than your head."
Years ago there was a popular cartoonist named B. Kliban who produced little books of twisted cartoons, often featuring cats. One of his books was called "Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head."
When I wrote the cultist article for an amateur gaming magazine back in -- I don't remember when, actually, but those books were huge then -- I used that line. Since then that article has gotten posted any number of places, not always with attribution, sometimes with the wrong attribution, and once even quoted (with attribution) in a Wiccan magazine article that a coworker here stumbled over and brought to me
Aha! Took some Googling to weed through all the places it's been (and been stolen) but it was originally written in 1993 for a zine called The Unspeakable Oath (#8/9). And all my sins come home to roost...
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
So it comes from you. Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I am proud indeed to have contributed to the mighty body of work by "Author Unknown."
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Now my son has to listen to all my old, boring stories about gaming.
"When I was your age, we didn’t have all those rules that made sense right off the bat. No! We had to piece together a system out of tattered errata pages and Dragon Magazine articles before we could even take a step!"
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
The wonders of Hatrack! I've seen that cultist list reposted or quoted many different places. Never thought I'd know who actually wrote it, though.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
I like many geeks, have been at a loss. I have a profound desire to play my roleplaying games (yes I have the sourcebooks for bothe DnD and the SWRPG) however have been unable to find any other similar minded geeks in my area. (I found a few but we play so sporadically its hardly satisfying.) However, I recently found a website: www.rpol.net I must say this is by far the best RPG host website I have yet to come across. I'm already playing in one game, and GMing another. I highly reccomend it. Plus its free.
www.rpol.net Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I'll have to dig out the original publication for evidence, and someday when I get bored enough I'll start writing all the sites that posted it...
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
I would also just like to add that my screen name, Zarex, is in honor of my first ever DnD character. A half Elven Ranger.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
There are several PBEM games going on in the hatrack-verse right now. I'm playing in three of them. Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Does the ones that you're dead in count? What about the ones that haven't really started yet?
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
CHRISTOPHER! Give me a link to some kind of archive for your columns... 5 SECONDS AGO! Hilarious man just hilarious.
As it is I love DnD, DnD books, LARP, etc.
oh and in Starcraft I can beat any of you I wager 5$.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Is that more or less than $5?
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
Where are these games of which you speak?
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Ah, the torch is passed.
The die is cast.
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
You can't find other gamers in Buena Vista, Zarex? *blink*
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Starcraft? yes 5$ CAD. Shall we arrange a time and a map and rules? Any takers?
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I had a cast die once, but I drank a big glass of salty water and it cleared right up.
Isn't having a die cast something a hippy puts on another hippy's broken arm to be groovy?
I long for my son to reach the age of HP. Alas, the Isle of Chaos will have to wait.
Other life lessons I've learned:
The bigger the sword he carries, the smaller the...dice he owns.
Steel umbrellas are useful where dragon's fly overhead.
No matter how much you spend on your castle, someone can always find a way to get in.
The best defense is a lot of lowly henchmen to keep the bad guys busy while you make your escape.
If he proudly and loudly claims to be a merchant, he's probably a thief.
To change reality, you need to say the right things, in the right way, while making the exact movements, and wearing the appropriate attire. This is the basic rule for Magic Users and Politicians and Lawyers anywhere.
This is fun. I could go on for hours.
Thanks Chris.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
gee, and I thought this was going to be a thread about teenage acne problems.... LOL +2STR +1DEX indeed....
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Zarex: Here is the link to one of the archives; the Overlook game has been running for more than 2 years.
You can also go here and go down to gaming forums for more RPG goodness.
Posted by Beren One Hand (Member # 3403) on :
Chris, when you talk to your kid, do you sound anything like this guy? Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
My favorite dice:
A three-sided die, a 1-foot disc cut out of 2-inch-thick styrofoam. One side was written "Yes!" One the other was "NO!" And around the edge it said "MAYBE!"
The thing out of a Magic 8-Ball. Hey, it was random, right? I broke the ball open and kept it to use whenever anyone in my party conulted a seer or asked the gods a question.
Poker dice. Useful during court intrigues when I needed to know who was betrayed whom, who was eavesdropping on whom, etc. "You've been overheard by (clatter) the Queen, who was sneaking off to rendezvous with (clatter) um, Jack somebody."
Posted by Zarex (Member # 8504) on :
I rather like the magic eightball idea. And no Christy, I cannot find gamers in Buena Vista. I don't suppose you would happen to know where a secret enclave of gamers resides?
Posted by dean (Member # 167) on :
I've played mostly in Vampires games, but I played a human in a werewolf game too. All the White Wolf games are fairly interlocking.
In the last game I played, I was a Malkavian, which means I was insane. It was a lot of fun, but I plan to be a Gangrel in the next game.
Posted by DarkKnight (Member # 7536) on :
Excellent column!!!! I will have to admit to having a first date end very abruptly after saying "I was playing D&D last night...."
Posted by Christy (Member # 4397) on :
Um, just to clarify, Zarex, that was TomDavidson (my husband who must not have logged me out). So if he replies, you'll know what's up. I have only the little knowledge I've gained from having married a geek. Still, I find that I really appreciate geek humour. *grin*
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Oh my gosh, that's brilliant Chris. We're not quite up to D&D; we're breaking ours in with Magic
My own dice story: (from my blog)
quote: Yesterday Olivia was telling me she needed a twenty sided for the Star Wars game book she's reading. Now, she claims fairies aren't geeks, but I say any 6 year old who knows to ask for a twenty sided is a geek.
Then, while we were at a yard sale today a lady offered us a D&D shirt for half of what she was asking, becuase she could tell we were gamers. How? Do we really look that geeky?
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
I'm not a D&D guy - in Romania I couldn't have been if I wanted to - but I'm the one who can talk about a chess game / Starcraft game / Homeworld mission etc until somebody bold enough tells me to stop. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)